


The Glory of Bowsette

by Thedude3445



Category: Mario Story | Paper Mario, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario 64, Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Action, Action & Romance, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Ensemble Cast, Epic, F/F, F/M, Funny, Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Identity, M/M, Melodrama, Multi, Other, Parody, Shounen Fights, Silly, Trans Character, World Domination, Worldbuilding, Wuxia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-07-17 21:47:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 113
Words: 103,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16104467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thedude3445/pseuds/Thedude3445
Summary: Bowser's finished. He's done. Gone, and over with. He's resigned himself to a life of misery and solace to pay for all the failures in his life. That is, until he suddenly comes upon the Super Crown, an item that will change the course of his life for good...





	1. Chapter 1: Bowser's Plan

#  The Glory of Bowsette

by Thedude3445

 

#  Chapter 1

 

“All hail King Bowser, Lord of Bowserland, Dark Land Overwatch, and Supreme Leader of the Third Order!”

This was it. This was Bowser’s big moment. The entire kingdom had come, on his royal decree of course, to Castle Bowser to witness his latest plan for domination of the Mushroom Kingdom and all the lands on the planet Earth.

He stepped up to his throne and sat down with a resounding thud, his tail curling around to give his butt room to sit. He needed to get that tail-hole in his throne built. Ugh, if he just had a free weekend to get around to doing it... Oh well.

“Hear this,” he shouted, his voice gruff with bellows of determination,. Bowser would not lose this time. He would dominate. “We are doing to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom!”

There was no response other than a few coughs.

“Uh,” he continued. “I mean. We’re going to annex the Mushroom Kingdom and subjugate it like a second-class colony, stealing all its production capabilities for our own benefit!”

The entire castle was in an upracious cheer. The Goombas jumped up and down, and the Bloopers floated around in a slightly more jovial manner than usual. Surely he would succeed this time, where all others he failed.

“My loyal lieutenant Mad Scienstein has unveiled a new formula, a new weapon that will allow us to defeat the Mushroom Kingdom defense forces with little to no resistance! We shall be invincible!”

The crowd cheered again, with just as much uproar as before.

Bowser explained this formula. “It is a new type of nerve gas, synthesized from the swamps of the Forever Forest, deep as can be found. When exposed in its new, altered form, any organism coming into contact with it will be immediately transformed into a horse radish!”

There was masterful applause. This was Bowser’s finest moment, indeed.

“We will take all our greatest armies, storm through the Dry Dry Desert, and delve right into our final territory! Princess Peach will be ours and so will the world! Then we’ll march on to Sarasaland! We’ll decimate Waluigi’s Island! Diamond City will fall! The Great Boggly Tree, the Toad Highlands, Yoshi’s Island, Luncheon Kingdom, the Neuron Jungle, Starborn Valley, the Star Carnival, Nimbus Land... It will all be ours.”

The cheers wouldn’t stop. The people of Bowser’s Kingdom were as loyal as they were enthusiastic.

But... But...

But.

It wasn’t real.

For there was one aspect of all of this that Bowser had noticed that sent his feelings askew. And it was not something to take lightly in this. For there was a member of Bowser’s legions that simply wasn’t here.

As always, his most prized subjects, the Royal Family, were here. His dad Kamek and his wife Kamella; his uncle Psycho Kamek; his seven children by his first wife the Koopalings, all standing at attention; his weird surrogate clones-turned-sons the Koopa Kids; and of course his precious youngest child and heir apparent to the throne Bowser Jr. They were his closest allies and stood by him no matter what.

Then there were his greatest generals, the military leaders and vassal state governors that led Bowser’s Kingdom to greatness. General Shy Guy, King Caliente, Tutankoopa, Tubba Blubba, Foreman Spike, Rudy the Clown, Don Bongo, and all those darn Broodals... even with King Goomba absent recovering from heart surgery last week, his array of leaders under his command was impressive by any measure.

And his armies were as vast as could be, covering every inch of free space in his massive throne room and outside the castle. Literally millions of Goombas all stacked in giant piles of Goombas and more Goombas. The Hammer Bros Corps were in their dynamic pose and absolutely refusing to move until he was done with his speech. The Wiggler Squad, consisting of hundreds of hot-tempered scouts that would make for an advance party before the main invasion, were assembled and ready. The Shy Guys were not here, as social situations with big crowds made them uncomfortable, but it was a guarantee that they would arrive when the time was right. He even saw some of the fun minibosses he had assembled over the years, like Petey Piranha, Cloud N Candy, Boss Sumo Bro, and even Lakithunder, that rascal.

It would all be perfect... if it were real.

But there was someone missing. Boom Boom.

So without another word, he got up from his throne, stretched out the tail that had kind of been cramping, and left the throne room amidst all the cheers. They were still going by the time he closed the door behind him.

***

There we was, bench pressing in the otherwise-empty personal gym while watching a muted CRT playing KNN (Koopa News Network). It was, of course, showing live coverage of Bowser’s speech and now showing two news anchors, Anderson Kooper and Megyn Koopy, discussing how great and wonderful the new plans to invade the Mushroom Kingdom were.

Bowser enjoyed watching state-sponsored media, but it could be a little dry sometimes. 

Without speaking, Bowser picked up some dumbbells and started curling with both hands right next to Boom Boom, who was doing exercises with an inflatable ball at the same time as crunches with a bar. It was unwieldy but he seemed really into it, or at least really into the music he was listening to (it was  _ Emotion _ by Carly Rae Jepsen). 

It was quiet, and it was nice. Bowser somehow felt relieved that he had realized that Boom Boom wasn’t there. After all these years, he was his closest friend, the one who would stick by him when things were strong, and who would cower away the moment things got tough. It always helped Bowser stay focused in the moment, to know when the tide was turning against him, as it inevitably always did.

He’d been there since the beginning. Since he overthrew Morton Koopa and took over Dark Land. Since the first time he kidnapped Princess Peach. Since Bowser’s very first elaborate underground castle that emerges to fly in the air for no practical reason. And,besides the part where he ran away halfway through every time, Boom Boom was an unstoppable ally. Despite the hardship, and the constant bashing of the head by a certain nameless plumber. Despite that late night drunken phone call to Pom Pom that very nearly ruined their friendship and made work really awkward for a while. 

Soon, Boom Boom seemed to notice him, as he removed his headphones and gave a weak smile. 

“Remember that time, way back in the beginning?” Bowser asked. “When we were first getting started, and you convinced me to turn that prince of the Flower Kingdom into a dog just to see if we could?”

Boom Boom chuckled and did some squats. “Kibidango, that’s right. He was such a jerk. He actually thought Peach was gonna marry him because he had some stupid flowers.”

“If that’s all it took, we would have been together that time I took over her castle with warp pipes and dressed all my Koopas up like Toads,” Bowser said. “Or that time I actually legally married her except it was all part of some prophecy by Count... uhh... I forget his name now.”

“Boom Boom thinks it was... Count Blick? Count Mimi?”

“Whatever, that time was really stupid and let’s never talk about it again.” Bowser sighed. “I just wish... that we could have some real fun again. Like with Kibidango. Just rampaging around and having a good time, not... Well... I noticed you weren’t at my speech earlier. And... it got me wondering about things.”

Boom Boom sighed as well. “Boom Boom told them he couldn’t be a part of it, but they wouldn’t listen. They are TOO loyal. Not honest at all.”

“What now?”

“Your big plan, the whole assembly... it was all a sham. Mad Scienstein’s new gas was just some perfume he and Dr. Crygor are working on. Everyone knew it, but they were going to go along with it anyway because...”

Bowser’s hands shook. Everyone? Even his own family? “Because WHY?”

“Because, you’ve been kind of... off lately, you know? Boom Boom thinks you’re really down about the stuff with the Moon wedding going south. You didn’t even invite Boom Boom to that plan, by the way...”

“It was kind of impromptu, sorry! I heard K. Rool was making another run at DK and I wanted to beat him to the punch so he wouldn’t have a one-up on Bowser Kingdom.”

“That’s what Boom Boom is saying,” said Boom Boom. “You’ve gotten so wrapped up in all these schemes and plans that you stopped being the leader you were meant to be. You’ve gotten a little... depressed. And your armies just wanted to cheer you up by waging a fake war on the Mushroom Kingdom. No harm done, right?”

“What? ‘No harm done?’ What?! This is infuriating! I’m not depressed! I’m just determined! What the flip!” Bowser breathed a little bit of fire out of his nose, he was so angry. “What other conqueror would travel back in time to kidnap his rivals’ own baby selves?! What kind of leader would turn his mortal enemy into a pinball?! Or sabotage a tennis tournament for his own gain?! I am the invincible warlord of the Koopa Klan! Uh, Clan!”

Boom Boom shook his head. “With respect, My Lord...”

“Just say Bowser, man.”

“Bowser, you failed at those things. You lost at every single turn. And you know it.”

“I’ve won plenty of times! Remember the time I defeated Smithy? Or when I beat up Fawful? And Tabuu, the ultimate villain of the entire universe? Guess who destroyed him, it, them, whatever?”

“Those were all with Mario and Luigi. You only teamed up with them after you got defeated yourself, too.”

“And so... a fake invasion, where I was thought to be successful, would lift my spirits?”

“That’s what everyone else thought.”

“But how were they going to pretend to kidnap Peach?”

“They hired Dooplis,” Boom Boom said.

“Oh, he’s not cheap.”

“Not at all. Boom Boom advised against it, but... Kamek was particularly insistent about all of this. He is really worried about you.”

At this moment, something broke inside Bowser. His own adoptive father trying to cheer him, the Great King of the Koopas, up from a depressive state? As if he was a child who needed comforting in order to move past all his insurmountable failures?

But then... maybe he was like a child.

Trying for all this time to be the absolute ruler of a perfectly-functioning military dictatorship. Controlling all his vast dominions with the attention span of a Cheep Cheep. Why would such an unstoppably lame villain be worthy of anything that he had attempted time and time again? Why did he even try?

“You know what, Boom Boom?” Bowser asked.

“Yeah?”

“You’re alright,” he said. “You’re really alright.”

Boom Boom sniffled. “That’s... the nicest thing you’ve... ever said to me...”

Bowser put down his dumbbells and marched out of the gym. He went back to the throne room, where the vast armies at his command had mostly dispersed but were still gathered because it looked like Psycho Kamek had splurged for catering and there were a lot of Yoshi’s Cookies and Tasty Tonics out there for everyone to eat. How in the world they were paying for that without dipping into the treasury was beyond Bowser, but he rarely asked of his family’s personal finance situations, and he would do so no longer.

“Attention, everyone,” Bowser said. In an instant, the party broke up and people started returning to attention. All the Shy Guys in the vicinity left in a hurry. “Okay, is that everyone? Yeah, whatever. Okay, so I have an announcement.”

The crowd waited with baited breath.

“I quit,” Bowser said. “I’m no longer king. I don’t care who is anymore and I leave no succession. I’m going off to my villa in Vibe Island and nobody’s allowed to disturb me. I’m exiling myself or whatever, so go do your own thing. Goodbye.

The crowd was silent.

Bowser shrugged and left the throne room again. He took one final glance at his slack-jawed family and almost chuckled. He was sure they were going to have a fun time deciding who was going to rule.

But it was no concern of his. He was done.

Little did Bowser know, but this action would directly result in the biggest change of his entire life, the obtainment of the Super Crown and the utter transformation of everything that he had previously stood for. But for now, this was just a new vacation to him. He was just glad to be gone.


	2. Chapter 2: At the Villa

Chapter 2: At the Villa

Bowser crushed another can of Penguin Proof and tossed it towards the recycle bin (even Bowser knows that saving the planet is important). It bounced off the rim and fell onto the floor. Just like the last seven.

Ugh. The eighth can. Just like he always had eight main henchmen in all his stupid plans that always failed in stupid ways. And how did Wario drink this stuff? Sure, it got you drunk, but it was nasty. If it weren't the only thing left in the villa, he wouldn't have even considered pounding it down.

He missed always having quick access to Froggie Drink. That stuff sure cured his HP real quick...

Once again, he started to cry, tears streaming down his face at infuriating rates. Oh, why did he pick this stupid place with its stupid magical emotion zones and these stupid beautiful scenic views and all this stupid great... ugh, whatever.

It had been several weeks since Bowser abdicated the throne and moved to Vibe Island, where the people were few and the nature was beautiful... or ugly and depressing, depending on which emotions you were currently being forced to invoke.

Or maybe it had been days. He didn't know. He'd been drinking so much he had essentially given up on keeping track of the passage of time. Who cares?

Not Bowser.

"I mean, I kinda thought it'd be different..." Bowser muttered to himself. There was literally nobody else in this villa, on final order of Bowser himself, of course, but he was still in the habit of announcing his thoughts out loud just in case anyone was listening. After all, if a Koopa falls in the middle of a forest and there's nobody to hear them, do they make a sound?

Bowser didn't even know if he was really a Koopa. Sure, he had a shell, but pretty much no other Koopa looked anything like him. Maybe this was all a lie too, told to him by his stupid dumb dad Kamek and his stupid dumb grandma Kammy and his stupid dumb royal title.

Whatever!

Nobody even called to check up on him. Not one text message from King Bob-Omb or a consolatory call from Platypunk, even after all that damn time they spent cornering the market with tax offices together...

Honestly, he just wanted someone, anyone to-

Knock knock! Ring ring! Knock!

"Oh my Brighton, I'm coming, I'm coming!" Bowser groaned. It took an incredible amount of effort to push his way-too-muscled body off the ground and stumble to the front door. If he were less stupid he would have at least taken a couple servants with him, maybe a nubile young assistant who was secretly extremely infatuated with him like in  _Jerry Maguire_ , but that simply wasn't the case here. He had to open the door himself, like a peasant.

"Who is it?" he asked, his vision too blurry to make anything out at first, what with the sun hitting his eyes just as all the alcohol in his blood surged to his brain.

There was... nobody here?

"Down here," a ruffled old voice said.

He looked down. It was a Bob-omb with a fantastic beard and a wheel attached to his back. Wait, how did he... nevermind.

"My name is Admiral Bobbery," he began. "I was sent as a courier across these great seas to your beautiful villa to convey to you an important message. It concerns a great many topics, but for one in particular-"

"Who from?"

"Well, uh," Bobbery stammered. "It's from, well, the Royal Court of the House of Toadstool-"

Bowser slammed the door in his face.

Nope.

Not happening. He wasn't even going to BOTHER listening to any of that. It was probably something like, "Oh no Bowser, Mario and Luigi are trapped in the dream realm and now they're being attacked by the evil master Wart! Help us!" Or something like, "We need another heavy for our new Karting tournament, and since you DID grant us a lifetime lease on Bowser's Castle Track... Maybe you'd like to compete?" Or, even in the best-case scenario it'd be something like, "Waluigi has launched a meta-nuclear missile that will circle around the Earth five times before hitting Peach's Castle! Help us disarm it or the Mushroom Kingdom will be retroactively erased from having ever existed!"

Any result from Bowser refusing to participate would only benefit his cause of no longer giving a care about the world around him.

And he would continue to do that.

Hmm... looked like he was out of Penguin Proof. Now he needed to get wasted on something else, because as a giant lizard who was built like a rock, he needed way too many drinks to actually feel anything. It was almost a wasted effort on his part, to be honest.

Maybe he should try drugs.

He decided to go down to the armory, where they kept all the power-ups seized on Vibe Island during the original takeover back, what, ten years ago? He couldn't even remember at this point. That was the time that, instead of kidnapping Peach, his Hammer Bros thought kidnapping Mario and Luigi would be what saved them all. But little did they know, they were idiots. Peach was clearly never going to marry him that way, but even more clearly, she was powerful enough to ruin him as well. Which she did.

Bowser was a failure. And he languished in it.

But because Peach never destroyed this villa or anything, it looked like all the items his men stole from the Mario Household were still sitting here gathering dust. He knew Mario Mario was a dusthead so there HAD to be some great stuff among everything.

Let's see...

There were a few Ztars in a pile. Whenever they held parties the Ztars absorbed the stars that other people had collected, but he wasn't sure what they actually... did. Maybe he could, like, eat one and see?

There were a couple Mecha Fly Guys he could wind up and send flying around. That... was useless.

A bunch of wooden hammers, a Cricket Pie, a Mini Mushroom, a whole chest full of e-coins, a frog suit... lots of weapons and food items. Bowser wondered if they could have used these more effectively to fight against Peach that time...

There was what appeared to be a chocolate bar labeled "Fudjie." He had no idea if that was a code word for drugs, but it definitely looked like the bar's expiration date was sometime in 1991, and he wasn't touching that.

There was a DVD copy of "The Social Media Killer," some dumb thriller movie, with a sticky note attached that said "Return to Ninji ASAP." With the voluptuous female on the cover, Bowser wasn't sure that the movie was the type that you usually lent out very often... He wasn't touching that either. Well... for now.

He wasn't sure at all why the Mario Bros had a Whiskered Eggplant, but he ate it without hesitation, hoping that it would get his mind racing with the thoughts of euphoria and forgetting his awful past as the world's worst villain. Sigh... nothing happened. That's basically what he expected. A lot of the power-ups here probably weren't going to work anymore, seeing as how long it had been since they were collected. He doubted that even the Poltergust 3000 sitting over in the corner would work without serious repairs, from all the cobwebs covering it.

Oh, there was one promising item here. Those devious Marios and their deviant ways... They had some Reverse Shrooms here all along? These babies were rare, but they really messed up your mind, making you move backwards against your own will. But if you just let the motion take you, and with some alcohol it was easy, it'd probably be a total trip.

Bowser was just about to take one, when he noticed a glittering item way off in the corner of the room. It was a sparkling crown of gold and pink, resembling a Toad's cap with a crown around it. If that were literally the case that would be disgusting and morbid, but it looked more like a special magical item.

And it was one of Peach's...

Ugh, he tried not to think about her these days. With how close they had come to actually being married, with how much he tried to show her how he cared about her, his complete failure in everything he tried was just a striking realization in his brain that he was useless. This item was surely a reminder of that.

And yet...

And yet.

He took the crown, its glowing aura almost calling out to him. This probably wasn't drugs, but it was a powerup of some sort, and he wondered if... Maybe if he just kind of...

Bowser's body shook.

Everything went white as a shining light surrounded him.

And then-

* * *

Bowser was in the bedroom. Not his bedroom, but that of his former wife, a room that had not been used in so long he had almost forgotten it existed. It was the only one with a full-body mirror, and he absolutely needed to use it here.

His face... it was so...

This black dress... This collar around his neck... This crown on his head...

Besides the horns and tail and shell, he looked almost exactly like Princess Peach, all the way down to his nicely-shaped... uh, features.

He smiled, flashing several fangs.

This... this felt amazing.

Everything was different now.


	3. Chapter 3: Enter Bowsette

#  Chapter 3: Enter Bowsette

This was Bowser’s new plan.

Using his new form, this new female body that felt like a surge of electricity every moment he lived inside of it, he would return to the limelight.

All of those blue feelings, all of that frustration deep inside of him seemed completely gone all of a sudden, as if nothing could possibly hamper him. 

He was going to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, and he was going to do it all by himself. No help from his loyal minions, nor his family, nor any other baddies from the rest of the world, and it wasn’t going to be done from any soccer tournament nor any rhythm game dancing. It was just Bowser and his new transformation against the forces of good. 

It was like, just by putting on the Super Crown, a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders, even if literally, a heavy weight had been added to his shoulders. Like, damn. He was hot.

This new body would be referred to as a name he just came up with: Bowsetta. Queen of the Koopas, Lordess and Nomad of the Lava Wars.

Of course, “he” was no longer a “he,” he guessed. With the body of a female, “he” had become a “she,” in all but mind. But, since he was still a man on the inside... he would still go by “he”, at least to himself. Whatever that meant.

He continued rummaging in the armory a bit longer to see what could be found. He took the Mecha Fly Guys, just in case they could be useful in combat later, as well as the Reverse Mushrooms for the same reason. Then he took the e-coins in case he wanted to unlock more e-reader levels in the future. But he also found a very interesting item that really brought him a wave of nostalgia-- his old Chomp Shell, a giant mace weapon created from a dead Chain Chomp that he could swing around and that also could be made to bite down if you squeezed the chains just right. 

With all of this, he was ready to set off, returning from his self-imposed exile with a villainous tremor and a climactic showdown. He wouldn’t let it be a surprise assault, either; he would take the scenic route, and he would not let anyone stand in his way..

He decided to take a new laugh. “Kakakakaka!” he cackled. This would be the ultimate trademark of his inevitable victories.

Before he let Princess Peach and the Mushroom Kingdom consume his interest, Bowser used to be much more powerful, so much more ruthless. He was the one that led a five-year war to overthrow Morton Koopa. He was the one that wandered the Kalimari Desert and collected all four pieces of the Firestone Amulet, the one who amassed the great Koopa Troop and its Great Generals-- King Bob-omb, King Boo, Whomp King, Goomboss, General Guy and the Crystal King. It took a great many months and many duels to place each of these fine men under his command, but he did so, and with their cooperation, and the power of the False Millenium Star, they made the Dark Land the democratic, free haven it was today.

Bowser decided that he was no longer going to be the snivelling crybaby, the sore loser he once was. This may have been the anger side of Vibe Island’s emotional tampering speaking, but he felt a great urge to destroy everything in his path. Just because he wanted to.

So without further ado, it was time for Bowser to depart from his villa. He would detonate it, of course, with some spare Bob-ombs in the holding cells. To make a statement or whatever. It didn’t matter. And then he would take a boat... No, he would swim all the way to the shore, wherever that took him. And then from there, he would begin his singular march towards the Mushroom Kingdom.

For the man who nearly conquered the universe, for the man that once wielded the Star Rod, nothing was truly impossible if he set his mind to it.

It was time to go and introduce the world... to Bowsette.

Wait.

One more thing.

He probably needed to put some clothes on first.


	4. Chapter 4: March to Toad Town

#  Chapter 4: The March to Toad Town

It was in the Bone Dragon Pit where three Yoshis--blue, pink, and white--fell to the ground, beaten down by this woman in a black dress, this woman with sharp claws and a sharper glance.

“Chumps!” she shouted. “All of you, chumps!”

She was Bowsette, the new scourge to the world. The talk of the town, if the town talked about dangerous menaces. And she simply could not be beaten.

These Yoshis were just three among the dozens that had tried to stop her advance as she blew her way through Yoshi’s Island in search of one specific denizen: the Bone Dragon itself.

These creatures were the remains of Dread Lords that were said to have roamed the Earth eons ago, wreaking havoc and destroying everything in their paths just because they could. They were stopped by something or another, and their bones scattered across the world in the hopes that they would remain forgotten. For the most part they were, other than the famous skull beneath the icy town center in Snowflake Lake, but there was a nearly-complete skeleton left forgotten deep in the core of Yoshi’s Island, and it appeared that this new Bowsette being, whoever she was, had uncovered its secrets.

The white Yoshi, in its last moments before passing out, watched as Bowsette held out her palm, activating some sort of magic spell that summoned the three heads of the Bone Dragon to greet her. 

“Hail me!” she shouted. “I am the Lordess Bowsette, and I have come to...”

***

Plum swung her club and the golf ball went flying into the air, straight towards the flagpole off in the distance. If she was lucky, and if her aim was true, she would get a hole in one here, putting her in first place for the tournament!

“Nice shot!” some disembodied announcer shouted.

The ball rolled onto the green, spun a little bit... and landed right in the hole! Wow!

Sherry high-fived her. “Good going, girl,” she said. “You’re gonna enter the pro leagues yet!”

“Ah, I doubt that,” said Plum. “I’m nowhere near good enough to do that...”

Sonny stepped up and patted her on the back. “Oh, Plum, ya just gotta believe in yerself,” he said. “I sure as pie believe in you!”

“Oh, Sonny...” Plum grabbed his cheek and planted a kiss on the lips. He took his hat off and put it at his chest. “We’ll see how things go.”

BAM.

A loud stomp.

A golf club thudding against the grass, hard enough to shake the ground around Plum and the others.

They turned around.

A toothy grin from a woman in an extremely-low-cut dress, glaring deep into them with her deep red eyes, smouldering irons in a furnace.

Wordlessly, she set down a golf ball on the tee and swung at it with mad power.

The golf ball flew into the air and crashed into the hole with blazing speeds--

Exploding and causing a large tremor.

When the smoke cleared, Plum looked back at the golf course, where there was a now a massive crater where the hole used to be.

The woman next to them merely cackled.

***

Mallow shot bolts of lightning out at Bowsette, but she was too quick, too nimble, too quick, too nimble.

This woman, holding no weapons but still shooting fire from her mouth, was almost unstoppable. She had climbed her way up Sky Garden and reached the Meringue Clouds, a peaceful realm that until now had seen little in the way of invasion or warfare, other than occasional Koopaling incursions.

Now, however, the entire realm was being threatened by just one being.

Bowsette kicked Mallow in the air and he flew through several clouds. 

He was the last line of defense before Nimbus Land, his home. And as Prince, it was his duty to protect it, whatever the cost!

He shot more lightning bolts, one of them very nearly hitting her, but it wasn’t enough. Mallow had no style, no grace, and now, with Bowsette’s fist pummelling into him, he had a funny face.

He almost laughed, but he lost consciousness too quickly.


	5. Chapter 5: Pauline's Plea

#  Chapter 5: Pauline’s Plea

A deliberation of Kings.

Goomboss stood with Toadsworth as the leaders of all nations across the world looked over a huge model-map resting out on the table in front of them.

Never in a million years did Goomboss think he would have to stoop so low as to work with the goodie two-shoes of the Mushroom Kingdom. Especially never with the despicable Water Land King, whose craven rule had cost the lives of thousands of Goombas over the years. But here he was. 

All because of this... Bowsette.

All the machinations in Dark Land had pushed him completely out of the sphere of influence, and now he was essentially on his own, being forced to team with these leaders as his allies in protecting his domain.

Pauline, mayor of the independent nation of New Donk City, stood up and pointed with a long pointy stick, going over each area marked with a red flag. “As you can see here, Bowsette was following a set path. She first appeared off the coast, attacking the Baseball Kingdom and bringing it to its knees in forty-eight hours.” She moved the pointed to locations on the shore. “Once she emerged again it was at Sunset Beach, convincing the populace of Koopas to revolt against the majority-Mouser government.”

Moustafa hopped up to the table in a rage. “The people of the Dry Dry Desert will not stand for it! She must be stopped!”

“The problem with that is,” Pauline began. “We don’t know a thing about her. She travels alone, so we can’t pinpoint her location until she strikes. She’s too fast, too unpredictable. That is, until now.” She makes a path with her pointer. “For a long while, Bowsette was marching in essentially one straight path. “She moved across the coast, going through the Cheep Cheep Beach before moving north after severely damaging the Dolphin Shoals. She then ravaged the Sprixies, who had already had their land devastated by Bowser in recent times."

K.Lumsy, the leader of the Free Kremling Alliance that towered over the others in the audience, raised his hand. “But... Bowser... what about him?” he asked.

“Bowser isn’t a factor here,” Pauline said. “His kingdom is too far away from the rest of this and according to sources is currently occupied in some family squabbles. Plus, Bowser’s Kingdom may not WANT to help. For this Bowsette woman, whoever she is...” Pauline points a straight path from the Sprixie Kingdom, through the Toad Highlands, through the Toadwood Forest, and then going dangerously close to Shroom City, where the formal border of the Mushroom Kingdom begins. It is clear to us that she is aiming for the Mushroom Kingdom, likely aiming to take down Princess Peach herself.”

“But... why?” Toadsworth asked. “What have we done to provoke this mysterious woman?”

“Well, there is the fact that this Bowsette woman is reported to look uncannily like Princess Peach.” She held up a scroll that contained a sketch of what this woman appeared to look like according to police reports after a fierce battle in Hollijolli Village. Gomboss stared at it with his mouth open. Holy damn, was THAT her? NOW he was interested. Look at those pointy horns! Look at those huge... uh, earrings! “Whatever her reason, she was on a direct course for the Mushroom Kingdom, but suddenly veered off just days ago.”

Don Pinata shrugged. “The people of Rogueport have no interest in this. We are too remote and not a strategic location now that the Thousand-Year Door has been sealed. We will tend to our own matters.”

“This could be very important,” Pauline said. “Don’t give in to your own insular nature when the entire world could be at stake.”

The Bumpty leader Mayor Penguin chimed in, as well. “Because Bowsette seems to be making her intentions known only to the southern portions of the continent, I suffice it to be known that we shall not participate in any sort of coalition.”

What? They were giving up like that? No help at all? Goomboss could not stand for this. “You cretins!” he shouted. “This monster is at the doorstep of Goomba Village, and yet you refuse to help? What kind of allies are you?”

“Says the one who terrorized the Mushroom Kingdom for years,” scoffed Monty Mole. Goomboss had no idea which Monty Mole, just that it was one of many. 

“Your claim of territorial ownership over Goomba Village is extremely tenuous,” King Lakitu added. “Your right to be in this meeting, even, is tenuous.”

“How dare you!”

“Calm down, everyone,” Pauline said. “We have to work together. Because we have no idea what Bowsette’s next plan is. She’s ventured to various parts of the world in recent days, for no reason that we have been able to uncover thus far. She has been to Yoshi’s Island, then to the Woody Woods, then to Neon Heights, and finally to Nimbus Land, only staying for brief moments while causing maximum chaos. But none of these areas are remotely close to the Mushroom Kingdom, so we are unable to...”

Pauline stopped. The entire meeting had turned into an uproar, with leaders yelling at each other and bickering and no longer listening. 

She had wanted to tell them that Bowsette’s current course of destruction was headed straight back to the Mushroom Kingdom, that she would be there in a matter of days. But it was too late for them to listen, she realized.

It may have been too late for everything.


	6. Chapter 6: I'm Here!

#  Chapter 6: I’m Here!

A few Toad Guardsmen held up their spears, but Bowser swept his wrist gently and knocked them away like it was a gust of wind.

“Kakakakakaka!”

Bowser, under the guise of this mysterious new Bowsette, had done little more than waltz wherever she went and still found great victory. Everywhere she went, she had terrorized the populace, decimated any combat forces that attempted to defeat her. Uh, him. He was starting to lose track of that thing, to be honest.

It had gotten to the point where, everyone was so terrified of him that he was able to stay at a luxury hotel at the Huckit Beach Resort for free, complete with a complimentary breakfast and room service. He didn’t even get this kind of treatment as Bowser! It was awesome!

Needless to say, he ordered more than a few Able Juices that night... Man it felt good to drink genuinely good alcohol again.

From the Sunset Wilds to Ribbon Road, from the Pecan Sands to the Wonky Circus, everywhere he went he destroyed and destroyed and blew up and raged. It was friggin’ GREAT. He had realized by the time he reached the Mushroom Kingdom that he was not yet ready to end all of this, in fact, and had decided to travel a few more places. That was probably smart thinking, too; he was going to be in for the fight of a lifetime with the probable opponents he would be facing momentarily, and he needed every advantage he could get, especially in what he uncovered when he ventured up Star Hill just a few hours ago. 

It wasn’t the Star Rod or its remains, like he had hoped, but it was a Star Shard itself, and with Bowsette’s magic, uh, Bowser’s magic, he could infuse the power of the star inside his Chomp Shell, creating a weapon that was now supercharged with eternal energies. Nobody who did not directly harness magic for themselves could stand a chance against it. 

To this point, Bowsette had not yet been forced to use any of the items she had obtained before or during her journey. She was very glad for this, as it let forces continue to underestimate her, and she would be able to take the advantage once the ultimate fight began. But even here, if she could, she would keep to using simply her claws, her fire breath, and hiding in her shell to block attacks. Any weapon or item was her last resort.

But she had gained some rather hefty goods in her divergent excursions over the last week. Besides the Bone Dragon hidden away in Yoshi’s Island, she-- WAIT, HE. Crap. Bowser was starting to really get confused here. HE also obtained several interesting orbs from Neon Heights, including some Spark Orbs and Tweester Orbs that would come in handy if things got too rough. He could shock and stun enemies as well as send them flying in random directions, so they were good for defense. The caveat was that they needed to be thrown and they rested in a static position once deployed, and Bowsette analyzed that the fight may move too quickly for them to be as effective as he wanted.

In the Woody Woods he beat up some trees until they gave him a free Barter Box. This was an extremely rare item, not to be used lightly. Though its power to swap items with another nearby was typically reserved for party antics, it could also be extremely useful in a combat situation.

Finally, in Nimbus Land he uncovered an ancient treasure, the Sonic Cymbals. Bowsette was very much appreciative of the fact that he had been classically schooled in Itemology; otherwise, he would never have been able to find all these weapons and utilize them so well. Along with his Reverse Mushrooms and Mecha Fly Guys obtained back at Vibe Island, he possessed a wide arsenal and would be able to take over the Mushroom Kingdom with ease, as long as he acted accordingly.

Bowsette had very, very much wanted to find some greater power at Star Hill. It seems that after his little attack on the Star Sanctuary all those years ago, their defenses were stronger, and he was unable to sneak out any extra power for himself.

With any luck, though, he wouldn’t need it-- his current state would simply be enough.

Now, it was time to advance through Toad Town and make his way towards his final destination: Peach’s Castle. 

He could have used an army. The Koopas that had revolted at Sunset Beach had offered to join him. The Whomps had sent an emissary to meet him after he burnt down the Fuzzy Hideout. His old contacts at the Snifit Bureau were eager to see his new quest through, as well. Even Game Guy wanted to donate funds to a new insurrection war effort against the Mushroom Kingdom. But he made it very clear to any and all groups that this would be a solo effort. He was going to be defeating everyone, and that included them themselves. He needed to do this, and without anyone else’s help.

The streets were clear. Only two Doogans hawking badges for sale over in the corner, seemingly unaware of what was about to go down. Actually... Now that Bowsette thought about it...

“Hey!” Bowsette shouted, his voice shriek and pitchy. “Give me some of them, will ya?” He gazed at the selection more closely. The Dodge Master badge allowed him to use action commands more frequently, but the Double Dip badge let for using two items at the same time. And Multibounce... That was a powerful one. All of them were so irresistible. But if he had to choose... “Give me Dodge Master.” Avoiding being hit was going to be tantamount to success here, he imagined; going the long haul rather than trying to a quick victory was the best option.

“300 coins, man, pay up!” the larger Doogan shouted. “Gimme some cash!”

Normally, Bowsette would simply shoot a fireball and fry the guy. But he was feeling mighty generous this moment, and the sheer gusto of ordering him around amused him. So he took out his change purse and dumped its entire contents on the ground, which was hundreds upon hundreds of coins as well as those brown sacks filled with more coins inside of them. 

“Hahaha!” the Doogan laughed. “Take’em all! Take’em all! Thanks, lady!”

And Bowsette did. But he did not appreciate being called a lady, not as much as he thought he would. He was a man, a strong hulking monster with the masculinity of a thousand suns. This body of his was merely an impediment to success, the training weights that intentionally limited his abilities to keep his focus strong.

In essence, his weakness made him powerful. His weak, fleshy body was low in defense, low in power, even if it was high in beauty. But he would win despite that. He would win BECAUSE of that.

With perfect timing, a mushroom-shaped spaceship set down right in front of him, blocking his path to Peach’s Castle. He would get to test out his new abilities on some weaker opponents before reaching the main stage. 

Out of the spaceship ran six Toads, each of them with a different cap color. He did not recognize them whatsoever.

“Hey, you!” the red one, clearly the leader, yelled. “Get outta here!”

Bowsette shrugged. “Or what?”

The red toad took out a pickaxe. “Bro, leave!”

“No?”

...

These Toads were clearly unprepared for an actual fight. The blue one scurried back into the spaceship, while the other ones stood still and shook in fear.

Bowsette took a few steps forward, especially towards the pink-capped female. She looked like she was about to perish here and there, she was so scared. He looked at her and licked his lips.

The female Toad fainted.

the red one, though, charged forward. “Not cool bro!!!” He swung his pickaxe and attacked, missing by wide margins. “Toad Brigade, let’s go!!!!”

Bowsette hardly had to move an inch to get past all of this. The spaceship took off and began hovering in the air, but it appeared to have no weapons because it was not firing. Sigh. This may have been TOO easy of a fight.  

“Let’s mix this up,” he said to himself.

He leapt onto the spaceship, activating his multibounce and repeatedly stomping on the roof of the ship until the metal dented in. The bouncing was actually somewhat tough to pull off; the Super Crown’s power gave Bowsette the ability to float in the air, just like Princess Peach, and at first that had severely inhibited his ability to do quickly-timed jumps like he wanted. With more practice came more control, but he would never be able to perfect it.

Still, he got what he wanted. He burst into the spaceship and punched the blue Toad, whose glasses flew off and cracked against the window. He leapt out and floated back towards the ground, just as the spaceship crashed into an item shop and exploded.

The red Toad was now red in the face. “You won’t get away with this!” he shouted.

“Kakakaka!” Bowsette laughed, still floating a few inches in the air. “Of course I will! I’m Bowsette, Lordess of the Koopa Spirit!”

“Lordess... of the... What?” The red Toad was very confused. 

the pink Toad got up from her fainting, but was instantly petrified upon seeing Bowsette again. 

“Whatever. I’m going to beat you all up now, is what I mean,” he said.

The pink Toad suddenly stopped freaking out and stared at Bowsette intensely. “Wait a minute... That crown on your head... isn’t that...?”

Suddenly Bowsette was the one petrified, surrounded by an aura of blue magic on all sides.

A deep voice bellowed, “Trespasser! You will go no further!”

He was unable to turn around, but his captor soon rotated him around for him. It was that nasty old wizard, Merlon. Probably the strongest being in the Mushroom Kingdom by sheer force, and the one that he was most worried of when he had entered Toad Town.

“Let go of me you clod!” Bowsette shouted.

“You are under my control now,” said Merlon. “You belong to me.”


	7. Chapter 7: Merlon's House

#  Chapter 7: Merlon’s House

It looked like Bowsette was trapped, with a crotchety old wizard setting him down on a table and beginning to rummage through some old books.

Merlon. Nasty little man who had always been a thorn in Bowsette’s side when he was the King of the Lava World, Lord of the Koopa Troop and Grandmaster of the Magical Arts. Now he was merely Bowsette, Half-Human Lordess of Power; standing up to Merlon now was a fruitless effort, because in this form his powers weren’t half as potent. He couldn’t escape the aura barrier that the man had encased him in.

“I am very interested to understand you, Bowsette,” Merlon said. “Ever since your first appearance, we of the Mer Family have been delighted to see you in person, to... study your abilities.” Merlon leered at Bowsette. “They are quite enticing.”

Ugh. This was... revolting!

Bowsette felt ashamed and embarrassed at the same time. What a creepy shaman he was. He had never had anything like this said to him before, and he realized how lucky he had always been.

Merlon raised both hands in the air and some sparks began to fly out. “Reveal your true self to me! Show me the true limits of your power, Bowsette!” His eyes closed as he began to shake and levitate slightly in the air. The aura around Bowsette began to flicker.

Bowsette struggled to move; maybe in this moment, if he budged right, he could escape!

But it didn’t seem so. The best he could do was rummage through his pockets, go inside his shell and hope to find something-- ah.

He grabbed out a Tweester Orb and rolled it off the table he laid on; it passed through the aura barrier and smashed against the floor with ease. If Bowsette couldn’t escape, then at least he could do that...

Merlon’s magics lit up the room in an all new shade of blue, bright and dark at the same time in a way that could hardly be explained. Whatever was happening Bowsette could barely comprehend it, let alone figure out a way to circumvent it.

His Super Crown began to glow, and the shades of blue gave way to a new vision, a new world where Bowsette, still trapped at a table, was presented with an entire existence zooming around before him.

It was like all of his ancestors appearing before him. His biological ones-- the Royal Family stretching back a thousand generations. He saw Morton, sixteen fight high and towering over his enemies with a mighty axe. He saw his ancestor of five generations back, a woman of science and magic combined, wearing a large cloak as she poured over experimental formulas and brought the bones of Koopas back to life. He saw a distant uncle piloting a massive airship blasting towards a distant galaxy, his beard as long as a mountain and eyes as deep as a collapsing star. He saw an ancient ancestor, the tenth generation since a celestial dragon and Koopa had found love, and a being so large they dwarfed all others Bowsette had already seen; a vast army surrounded and attacked them, but they regarded them with less notice than an ant.

And those ancestors circled around him, hovering in the air and looking down on Bowsette’s new body of skin and hair. Morton Koopa shook his head, and the others followed. Bowsette was a failure. He wasn’t good enough. It was all useless. There was nothing Bowsette could accomplish that hadn’t already been done by someone that had come before him, and done better than he was capable of.

The ancestors laughed at him.

He was so weak that he had made himself weaker. That was the hilarious way to finally cap off their legacy, fading away just as the celestial blood inside them had dissipated. It was--

The magic was over.

Merlon looked over at Bowsette with narrowed eyes. “I can’t help but stare...” he muttered.

“You... Get away from me...” Bowsette growled.

“I may have to,” he snickered. “You are... so powerful. More powerful than I could have ever imagined. It’s understandable that you were able to advance so far so quickly. Did you even know that inside of you glows the heart of True Royalty? Probably not. Your kind was always ignorant to your own capabilities.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ll explain it to you,” Merlon said. “I’ll teach you a lot. See, because I captured you so quickly, the others do not yet know you have arrived. That means we are away from prying eyes. We have all the time in the world...” He snickered again. “Time enough for life to unfold all the... precious things it has in store...”

Oh, Underwhere No, Bowsette was not staying here any longer.

“Hey, Merlon guy? Wizard dude?” Bowsette asked.

“Eh?”

“Seeya around.”

“Oh, I’ll be seeing you. In fact, once I take you downstairs you’ll be seeing a lot of me. Nerlom has arrived from Flopside to see this through, and my dear relative Merluvee will be arriving shortly. Together we will figure out some tests for you, to help gauge the true potential of your magical--”

Bowsette clenched his fist and activated the Tweester. A cyclone formed right there in the middle of the room. The roof off Merlon’s house was the first to go, jolting up into the air and breaking up into a few dozen pieces. Then Merlon and Bowsette lifted off together. In the surprise, the aura surrounding Bowsette had finally broken, and Bowsette was able to kick Merlon upwards, flying further into the air. 

Without a moment to spare Bowsette tumbled back down to the ground and landed feet-first somewhere in Toad Town. Had he stayed in the Tweester any longer, he would be halfway to Sarasaland by now.

He looked back into the Toad Town skyline, where Peach’s Castle still remained in plain sight. He was not much further back than he was just minutes ago.

Progress never stopped.

But... those visions he saw. They were so poignant, so realistic... He started to wonder whether it was his imagination or if his ancestors truly had been ashamed of him. 

Regardless, it was time for him to fulfill his destiny and conquer the Mushroom Kingdom once and for all. 

He ventured past the gate with the huge star embroidered on it, past the Toad guards too scared to do anything about him, past the bunnies scurrying around with power stars hidden inside them. 

He stood at the bridge in front of the front door and took out the Sonic Cymbals he obtained from Nimbus Land. One quick crash and the entire region reverberated, shaking like the Earth rumbled beneath them. Little did they know the truth of the grounds below them, but the Mushroom Kingdom would surely recognize the sheer strength before them.

Quickly, a number of figures exited the front door, with two emerging behind him from warp pipes.

Each of them looked angry, each of them determined to face the mighty Bowsette and be the one to stop him.

From his field of vision, he noticed nine:

  * There was a green Yoshi, huffing and puffing with six eggs trailing behind him.
  * There was Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, wearing bike shorts and holding a soccer ball in her arms.
  * Behind him there was Luigi, shaking in fear, and Birdo, standing tall with a bow on her head.
  * There was Admiral Bobbery, shaking his head/body in apparent realization of Bowsette’s true identity. He was wise beyond his years but not wise enough to avoid his battle.
  * There was Donkey Kong Jr., which to be honest was kind of a weird pick, as well as a man Bowsette didn’t recognize.
  * There was Vivian, the reformed Shadow Siren who stuck up halfway from the ground, and next to her...
  * ...was Mario Mario, Bowsette’s mortal enemy.



Bowsette wasn’t here for this large group, though. Bowsette could defeat them. All he wanted was Princess Peach, and she was not here.

“Is this it?” he scoffed with a shrill voice. “Surely you can do better than this! I am the Lordess Bowsette, Destroyer of the Waking World! Do you not dare bring me your precious Princess Peach, pretty please?”

“I’m here,” a voice said. Peach herself was there, but on the roof of the castle. She jumped down and floated gracefully to the ground. “What do you want with us? Pauline warned us about you, and...” Peach stopped as she got a closer look at Bowsette. Clearly, their extremely similar appearance was disconcerting to the woman herself, and her show-stopping good looks were having an obvious effect on all the fighters around him.

“I want to destroy you and take over the Mushroom Kingdom,” he answered. “That’s my only goal right now.”

“Well then, will you challenge me in solo combat?” Peach asked.

“Peach!” Daisy exclaimed. “What are you--”

“I’ll gladly accept that, as long as your fighters make sure to surrender peacefully when I defeat you. Kakakaka!”

Peach nodded and took out a frying pan. “I accept those terms, as well. We will--”

Birdo and Yoshi began launching eggs at Bowsette; he defelected each of them with his claws, but they still took him by surrpise and he took the brunt of the force impact of the first couple.

“Cancel that, then?” Bowsette laughed, hopping backwards and confronting the ten people in front of him. “I guess I’ll defeat all of you.”


	8. Chapter 8: Bowsette vs. the Forces of Good

Chapter 8: Bowsette vs. the Forces of Good

First things first, Bowsette took out all the orbs he owned and tossed them on the ground. They were invisible to the eye except for the owner, but as long as Bowsette could keep track on them it would be an easy way to trap his opponents.

Seeing as they were all charging simultaneously, this was going to be easier than he thought.

Mario himself took out a large hammer, jumping into the air to swing it.

"So predictable! How about you go find some better way to settle this?" Bowsette yelled. He activated the Tweester Orb below Mario and blasted him away. He'd be back, and soon, but eliminating the primary threat fast was going to make this fight a lot more smooth.

Now with nine opponents before him, he needed to thin the crowd out as quickly as possible, even if that meant focusing on the weaker ones first. He used his Dodge Master badge to weave through a volley of punches and kicks from Yoshi and Daisy, as well as a surprise uppercut from Vivan that would otherwise have sent him flying several feet in the air. And then he surveyed everyone to identify some weak points.

The admirable Admiral himself, Bobbery, was a danger to himself and those around him, what with his exploding powers and all, so he would be a good target to blast several opponents away.

But it looked like, standing in his way of that was... uh, some guy. He had long brown hair and a green cap, but Bowsette didn't think he had ever seen him before, and he didn't look like he was exactly combat-ready.

"Who... who are you?" Bowsette asked.

"What do you mean? I'm Prince Pine!"

What? "What?"

"Prince Pine, of Jewelry Land! I'm one of the Royal Society members! Pretty famous, you know?"

Friggin' Jewelry Land? You mean that one Bowsette took over in like five seconds and split into a Light and Dark Realm so that Bowser could harness extradimensional darkness soul magic? "Why the heck are you here?"

"I... I was having tea with Princess Peach!" Prince Pine yelled. "But I will have you know, I was trained by Kung Fu Toads at Pagoda Peak for two years, and I-"

Bowsette slapped him across the face and he smacked into the castle door, knocked out immediately.

That made eight.

Yoshi and Birdo, teamed up as usual, chattered incomprehensibly in their native tongues-well, Birdo didn't have a tongue, but her native nasal noises- and simulatenously launched eggs at Bowsette. He wasn't falling for that trick again and instead of swiping at the eggs to break them, taking some of the damage, he leapt into the air and kicked Yoshi in the face. He floated to the ground slowly but at the perfect angle to land right in front of Bobbery, who unleashed a series of kicks, but not ones that would much hurt Bowsette.

"You could have helped us," Admiral Bobber said. "We were inviting you to a tennis tournament!"

Bowsette multibounced off Bobbery's head. "Who cares about tennis when I'm Supreme Overlordess of the Mushroom Kingdom?" Bowsette asked in a sing-songy tone. Finally, he kicked Bobbery towards Yoshi and Birdo, who split apart as they jumped away from the Bob-omb. But he didn't explode, not yet. He was only severely ticked off.

A soccer ball blasted towards Bowsette, hitting him in the back of the head and knocking him down briefly. Had he not been Bowser himself, that kick would likely have been powerful enough to have caught his hair on fire. Luckily, that was not the case.

As Daisy landed, she stuck one leg into the air, ready to dash forward while kicking a bunch of times. Bowsette grinned and responded by shooting a fireball out of her mouth. Daisy leapt over it, but in an awkward, exposed stance. So Bowsette grabbed hold of Bobbery, lit the string attached to his head on fire, and threw him towards her.

The explosion was immense and knocked both opponents out completely.

With Yoshi and Birdo now separated on the battlefield, this was going to be an easier fight, especially with only six to fight. Birdo was next to Donkey Kong Jr., who stood there smiling like he didn't understand what was going on. He probably didn't.

"Hey furball, get a load of this!" Bowsette struck a seductive pose, putting an arm behind his head and leaning back slightly, and that seemed to set Donkey Kong Jr.'s heart aflame, because hearts literally burst out from his eyes and he started dashing over towards him.

Birdo followed, trying to stop him, but it was too late. Bowsette gripped a nearby tree, ripped it from the ground, and swung it into Donkey Kong Jr. and Birdo, knocking the former clear over the castle itself. Five left. Birdo skidded back onto her feet, and closer again to Yoshi, and the two continued their volley of eggs.

Bowsette was able to dodge the eggs easily, though, and hopped into her shell anytime one got too close, which absorbed any damage that would otherwise be done. When he found his next targets, Peach and Vivian, he hopped into the air, entered his shell, and rotated so that it fell down spike-side down, nearly crushing Vivian had she not been able to evaporate into a shadow on the ground.

Darn it, that would have been such a good finishing move...

"Y-y-y-y-you should give up," said Luigi, who was standing in the exact same place as before and still shaking.

"Uh, no?" Bowsette put a finger up to his lips. "Maybe you could give yourself up, though, and I might spare you." He winked. Luigi's face turned red and he curled up into a ball.

Peach sighed. "Grow a pair, Luigi." She tossed him a Power Star, and he caught it, but he was still too afraid and embarrassed to get up.

"Now it's just you and me," Bowsette said to Peach. "Call them off so we can finally settle this,  _womano a womano_.

"That's not how you..." Peach stopped herself. "They won't call themselves off. And you know what? That's-" Peach hopped in the air and flew towards Bowsette, her hip crashing into his stomach and then exploding on impact. Bowsette was knocked to the ground. "-Okay!"

Bowsette got up, but he realized he was surrounded on all sides. Peach in front of him, Yoshi and Birdo to the right, Vivian to his left, and technically Luigi behind him.

"Watch this!" Bowsette shouted. He spread his arms wide and unleashed all the Mecha Fly Guys he had been saving since Vibe Island, flying around at random chaotic speeds and really splicing up the battlefield where nobody could reach him with their attacks. Yoshi and Birdo's eggs were effectively neutralized as each of their eggs collided into a mechanical doll with little damage done to it.

He took this opportunity to single out Birdo and swipe her backwards with his tail. She shouted something but it was just like, "Buzz buzz buzz buzz," so Bowsette couldn't adequately respond to it. Instead, he shot a fireball her way and knocked her into Yoshi.

Both were highly injured and just about knocked out, but they got back up and started holding hands. Oh no, were they going to try some sort of fusion magic or spirit combo or some tennis Ultra Smash that would act effectively as a special combat move?

It didn't matter.

"Kakakakaka!"

Because-

They were standing right underneath a Spark Orb trap!

Yoshi and Birdo were caught and shocked for a good ten seconds, both collapsed on the ground afterwards.

That left just three, and while Luigi was now on his feet, it didn't seem that he-

Bowsette could no longer move. He was stuck in mid-air, mid-laugh even, and his body was in a strange inverted color. Luigi hopped into this sphere of stasis and began punching Bowsette several times in several places. He didn't feel anything, though, so Luigi must have been even weaker than he thought.

This was surely the power of the Negative Zone, harnessing the power of Subcon in a way that few but Luigi himself could understand, considering how poorly-understood that realm was. But it did not appear to be effective.

When the stasis field disappeared though... Bowsette's body felt the full force of impact from every attack that Luigi had delivered in those ten seconds. He was sent reeling, tumbling backwards, and then smashed onto the ground, all at once.

That... really hurt!

He got back up, but he was definitely going to have a few bruises in the morning.

"Okay, now I guess we'll get serious about this," Bowsette said. He took out his Chomp Shell chain, glittering with Star Shard energy, and began spinning it around. "Let's fight."


	9. Chapter 9: The Bone and the Bot

#  Chapter 9: Bone and Bot

Luigi had now officially entered the fight, having dealt a considerably amount of damage to Bowsette without Bowsette having been able to counteract it. Mario would probably soon be returning to the battlefield, so Bowsette was stop trying to hold back as he had been doing before. 

He unveiled his Chomp Shell weapon, infused with the Star Shard powers that had a glimmer of Star Rod wish abilities inside it. It wasn’t much, but it was going to neutralize any magical defenses any of them had, most notably on Peach herself.

She spun the chain around, and remembered how good it felt to have a real, solid weapon in her hands, which she had barely done since her fight with Smithy all those years ago. Bowsette was a powerful woman and she was going to obliterate anyone who stood in her way, just as she always had in her life. She may have been a complete failure to everyone in her life but she was going to succeed at this, at least. She had to.

Vivian snuck up to her side and tried to grab her and restrain her, but a Mecha Fly Guy got in her way and Bowsette was able to dodge. She swung the Chomp in her face and knocked her out of her own shadow, flying several feet away. She wasn’t sure how that worked, exactly.

Bowsette once again realized HE was referring to HIMSELF as a “she,” but realized that this was not exactly an opportune time to be thinking about things like that! Who the heck cared about what Bowestte was except a conqueror, anyway?!

Not her! Him! Whatever!

Bowsette jumped ten feet into the air and launched a series of five fireballs at the ground, all of them missing the three remaining opponents but limiting their ability to move around. The Mecha Fly Guys were mostly dispersed now, but they were also restricting the three, and now he had them right where he wanted. He landed with a thud, swung his Chomp, and sacked Peach away. Luigi threw some punches and kicks but they all missed and Peach pushed him far enough back that he couldn’t do anything. He tried to activate the Negative Zone again but it looked like Bowsette’s Chomp’s magic was counteracting it. All right!

“What are you going to do, green guy?” Bowsette taunted.

He took out the Power Star that Peach had given him before, the ultimate trump card... just as he had planned.

Bowsette was loath to use it, but he felt like it was the best move. Using the Double Dip badge, he decided to utilize two of his items at once; the Barter Box... and the Reverse Shroom.

In an instant, as he activated the Reverse Shroom that would normally mess up his own coordination, the Barter Box instantly teleported that Shroom to Luigi’s hand and transferred the effects to him. And in Bowsette’s hands, a Power Star appeared. He pocketed that for future use.

Luigi tried to run towards Bowsette, but realized he was somehow running backwards. He sent a punch, but then punched himself in the face. He ran away from the battlefield and that left just two.

Well, three, because Mario was fast approaching, and it would be any moment before he arrived again. In fact he was taking a bit too long.

“You’re a devious woman,” Peach said. “What do you want? Who ARE you?”

“That doesn’t matter, does it?” Bowsette clobbered Peach with the Chomp again.

Vivian grabbed at him again, this time succeeding at restraining him. And touching him in areas that were highly inappropriate! ”Hey, get off, sister!” he yelled.

“Sorry!” Vivian moved her arms and restrained him by the shoulders instead.

“Ha! Psyche!” Bowsette now had enough freedom of movement to jump forward and turn upside down, sending Vivian flying to the ground and loosening her from him. 

“So guess what hah?!” Bowsette jumped into her own shell, tilted upside-down, and slammed her spikes right into Vivian! She poofed away, leaving only her unconscious shadow behind.

Now it was only Peach. And this Princess would--

Mario jumped down from the top of the castle and clobbered him in the face. Agh! Rude!  But it was good to see him. His ultimate rival and enemy, the most tenacious and determined man in all of the Earth. Mario ran over to Vivian, pulled her out of her shadow, and hugged her tightly. He was always a ladies’ man, after all.

“Mario... Oh, Mario...” Bowsette chuckled.

Mario gulped. He was a man of few words, but he was obviously flustered. Fighting an opponent who looked so much like Peach. Maybe he would hold back. Maybe--

Mario, having consumed a Fire Flower, sometime in the past five seconds, shot several fireballs her way. Bowsette countered and shot a few of her own, colliding with each of them and sending several explosions in the air. 

Mario leapt a few times and reached Peach’s side. He took her hand.

“You know why you’ll never defeat us?” Peach asked.

“Why’s that?” Bowsette asked with an innocent tone, putting a finger against his chin.

“Because your heart is dark. You have no love inside you. You’re a monster consumed with hatred and that’s all you’ll ever be.”

Bowsette smirked. “You don’t know a thing about me.”

“We know enough!” Peach plucked a turnip out of the ground and tossed it Bowsette’s way. But it was not just  a normal turnip... it was a Bob-omb Turnip!

Bowsette attempted to dodge, but he was unable to get far enough away to avoid the blast, and it knocked him away.

“Oh, great...”

There was another problem.

Luigi was back. And he was wearing superhero clothes. 

“Mr. L is here!” Luigi shouted. “Have no fear!!!!”

Bowsette growled. “Why does it always have to be Mr. L...”

Mr. L hopped into the air, and with no explanation millions of machine parts began to surround him, forming some giant machine, a mecha--

It was Brobot!

Now Bowsette was facing a giant machine. That’s cool. Cool, cool, cool.

“How are you going to face the mighty Mr. L now?” Luigi asked in a loud declaration from the top of his mecha.

“Well... I wasn’t planning on using this, but...”

Bowsette stuck his hand out and his palm began glowing white with magical energy.

The ground shook.

“You see,” he began. “I know a lot about the Mushroom Kingdom. I sure know about the tunnels underneath Peach’s Castle, that’s for sure!” He didn’t add that it was because he had invaded the Mushroom Kingdom countless times already, and that he had once built his own castle underneath hers just for a stupid kidnapping plot. “You see, back in the time of the ancients, in the time before the Toads and the Koopas and the Goombas had taken over the majority of the population, there were a great many species that lived entirely underground. There still are, but it is nothing like back then. What I had discovered is that you can traverse much more of the continent much faster if you go through some of these tunnels. And because of that, I could have invaded the Mushroom Kingdom from right under your noses. But instead... I kept these tunnels for my... PERSONAL USE!”

...

...

...

Bowsette’s timing was not as perfect as he had hoped.

Let’s try that again. “....PERSONAL USE!”

Right at the perfect moment, out from under the ground burst a three-headed skeleton beast, the Bone Dragon that Bowsette had uncovered and brought to his side back on Yoshi’s Island.

He did not want to have an army. He spurned all his allies. But for any last-ditch efforts, he had to have his own trump card. A tamed beast.

And here it was.

The Bone Dragon roared with all three heads, and attacked the Brobot. Luigi was going to be occupied for now. So this would be the final stage of the battle. Bowsette was going to win.


	10. Chapter 10: Last Legs of the Lordess

#  Chapter 10: The Last Legs of the Lordess

Mario, Peach Luigi, Bowser.

That’s a pretty normal line-up. This would typically be the moment when those three, possibly accompanied by some Toad or another, would foil Bowser’s ultimate plan and destroy his fortress just as they push him into some lava and severely injure him.

But Bowsette was different.

Something about this new body, this new plan gave him such a feeling of elation and power that he hadn’t felt for so long. And he would utilize that energy to destroy anything in his path.

Mario, Fire Flower power-up inside him, shot forward with fireballs, then blowing his Super Cape forward to increase the intensity of the flames. Bowsette let each of them hit him, absorbing them inside of him. He wasn’t entirely sure that would happen but he was glad that it did.

“Kakakakaka!”

Bowsette sent all of the fireballs back at Mario and they blew up at him, costing his power-up and turning him into Mini-Mario. 

The Bone Dragon bit into the Brobot with two of its three heads while the third bashed its head into the cockpit. It punched pack but there were too many targets and its fists could find no specific target. 

Within minutes, the Brobot was destroyed and Luigi was sent falling to the ground, his Mr. L costume tattered and ruined.

Mini-Mario jumped on Bowsette’s head a few times, which kinda hurt, and he was worried the crown might fall off, but it wasn’t enough to do any real damage. Bowsette took the adorable little guy, just three feet tall, and shook his head. “Mario, Mario, Mario. What am I going to do with you?”

“Let me go!” he shouted with a squeaky high-pitched voice. 

“Okay!” Bowsette let Mini-Mario go--

And kicked him! Kicked him really hard!

Mario flew past the castle grounds, past Toad Town, past the Mushroom Kingdom, past the curvature of the Earth...

And he was gone.

Bowsette clasped his hands together and closed his eyes smiling. “I can’t believe it’s gone so smoothly!”

Peach, though, wasn’t having it. She attacked with her frying pan, swinging it wildly... and missing wildly as well. 

Bowsette took the frying pan and threw it aside. He grabbed Peach by the back of her dress and pulled her close.

“You’re done, Princess Toadstool.”


	11. Chapter 11: Guess Who's Coming to the Castle?

#  Chapter 11: Guess Who’s Coming to the Castle?

Bowsette entered Peach’s Castle. It was far from the first time, and as of now it would be far, far from the last.

“Let me... go!” Peach shouted, struggling to get away from Bowsette’s grip. 

Bowsette responded by tossing her forward, and she skidded across the way-too-polished floor until she brushed up against the staircase at the back of the foyer. 

“This is mine now,” Bowsette said. “I’ve beaten you and you should surrender yourself and all your forces unless you want more people to get hurt.”

“N...No, I can’t...” Peach laid her head down. “You win.”

“I know! I do, don’t I! Kakakakaka!”

Peach began to cry, but Bowsette kept laughing and walked past her. “Guards! Take her into her bedroom and lock her away!”

Bowsette walked up the stairs and entered the throne room. It was small, enough room to fit only a few dozen people, no more.

It was good enough for him. 

He sashayed over to the throne itself, lined with gold and with red velvet cushions that looked absolutely comfortable. As King Koopa he would never have even considered such a throne; his body too burly, his stature too sizeable, his scales too thick. Nothing would have benefitted that kind of body more than a throne of iron.

As Bowsette, though...

She sat down, and felt an immense, intense sense of the essence of pence... uh, peace. She spread her legs wide and leaned back, laughing quietly to herself.

Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom. Or, Lordess, as she had taken to calling herself. She finally felt a major burst of relief after all these weeks of fighting and beating people up... she wondered if they had any Able Juice stocked up around here.

Welp, here it was.

She won.

She had taken over the Mushroom Kingdom, just like she planned.

...Now what?


	12. Chapter 12: Lordess of the Mushroom Kingdom

#  Chapter 12: Lordess of the Mushroom Kingdom

“Hello! I’m your host, MC Ballyhoo! And I’m here with you live on Ballyhoo Tonight with our new guest, the Mystical Wizard Merlon!”

Merlon sat in the chair next to Ballyhoo and tried to make himself look comfortable in front of an audience of millions. Of course, at the moment there were merely cameras, and the audience was small, quiet, not easily laughing so far.

“Hello, I’m happy to be here,” Merlon said.

“How are you adjusting to your new life?” Ballyhoo asked. “Now that you’re the Defense Minister, you’ve sure got a lot on your plate, especially with SERVING YOUR COUNTRY!”

The audience clapped and politely cheered with their patriotic fervor. Very polite.

“It’s...” Merlon paused. He loathed himself for taking the job. He knew he wanted to stop Bowsette from taking control of the country. He hated her so much, but he took the job to work to keep Mushroom Kingdom safe as much as he could. He knew that she had essentially sidelined him and kept him in a position where he could be of little influence, but he had to keep the spirits of a conquered people alive. He couldn’t just... quit. “It’s going very well. We’re making a lot of progress. Goomboss has surrendered his claims over Goomba Village and the Shiver City Republican Confederation has submitted to Mushroom Kingdom oversight. The threats in our wake are fading and we will be able to rest easy without fear of destruction.” Except for... from their very own dictator.

“That’s awesome!!!!” Ballyhoo shouted. “Gee whiz! Want to go have a party?”

“Y...Yeah, that’s exactly what I want to do.”

Merlon was trapped in a world of appeasement. He had to save the people of the Mushroom Kingdom by keeping them content. He had to appease the Lordess Bowsette by keeping her pleased. And he had to appease his inner conscience telling him everything he was doing was wrong.

To accomplish the first two, he had to set aside the third.

Merlon and Ballyhoo began dancing on stage to a jiggy tune, and it took all he had to keep from crying.

***

Parakarry swooped down to Luigi’s house and dropped off a letter. “Letter for the Marios! Addressed to the Mario Household!”

He saw Luigi and noticed that the man was in his pajamas, hair disheveled and eyes sagging. What a wreck... What a loser.

He didn’t know of the contents of the letter, of course, as opening letters was against the sacred duty of mailmen across the globe, even if they had bombs or lethal toxins inside. It was a relationship between the sender and the reader, and that was the only thing that mattered. Mailmen were the middlemen, the mediums to all of this. Not participants.

However, Luigi’s expression brightened considerably when he read through the letter. “Thanks, Parakarry,” he said softly.

“Not a problem.” He flew away and wondered what about could have been in that letter, what its contents may have been.

If he were in Luigi’s position, he would have been a depressed loser himself. If his wife had been kicked past the curvature of the Earth and due to his poor fighting abilities... well, that would have been utterly humiliating.

But Parakarry’s fighting days were in the past, anyway. He was getting too old for that shit. So he was just glad that kind of situation would never present itself to him.

***

Several Koopas sat together at a bar, watching TV as the latest tennis match between Rosalina and Nina, facing off to win the all-new Bowsette Cup that had been created just a few weeks ago. Rosalina was basically cheating what with her ability to levitate off the ground at all times, but she was still losing to her opponent so far.

One of these Koopas was Kooper, a former partner of Mario and currently gulping down his fourth drink of, um, “Zess Tea.”

His friends were rowdy watching the tennis match, but he faced away from them, instead staring at the large portrait of Bowsette that was now legally mandated to be placed in a prime location in all restaurants, bars, and places of food or drink service. Her image was captured in the midst of laughing, her sharpened fangs showing and heavy amount of cleavage right in the center of the frame. They had all ogled it at first, but now it was clear that it had become an eyesore in an otherwise-classy establishment.

If Kolorado were still around, surely he’d have thought of something to help them out of this jam. But Kooper... he just wasn’t strong enough.

One of Kooper’s friends noticed his dour mood and put his hand on his shell. “Kooper, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? We’re being ruled by this jerk here and... Well, we had enough of that already, didn’t we?” Kooper had had a little too much “tea” to be able to form coherent thoughts at this point.

“Bowsette? Ah man,” one of the other Koopas said. “Saw her in person the other day when she spoke in Shroom City. Finest piece of shell I’ve ever seen.”

“Why’s she got that shell anyway?” another asked. “She part Koopa or something?”

The other shrugged.

“She’s just another... Bowser... or something...” Kooper mumbled. “Koopa Village ain’t for that.” But tensions between Toads and Koopas had begun running higher ever since Bowsette’s takeover. Koopas were being more readily recognized for new government positions. Koopa Village was receiving more financial assistance than Goomba Village even though the latter had just been razed after the Goomboss Skirmishes. Kolorado’s wife had gotten a death threat on her answering machine the other day.

“It may suck here,” one of the Koopas said. “But it still beats Bowserland. Never going back to that horrid place.”

“I heard there's been a lot of bloodshed out there these days, with all the Koopalings or whatever. Mushroom Kingdom’s way better.”

“But... then why did Koover go back?” Kooper asked, starting to cry. Kooper and Koover had gotten so close recently, and then suddenly... He was just going back to the place where everyone’s treated like slaves? It was insanity. And he couldn’t even stop him.

Kooper continued into his fifth drink. And then his sixth.

Rosalina ended up winning the tennis match.

***

Lumpy and Moustafa sat together under the shade in an unassuming bench in an unassuming part of Dry Dry Desert. Lumpy hadn’t considered that this type of meeting would actually be happening, not in a million years, but it looked like he was finally making it happen.

Bowsette’s wonders never ceased.

“So, how are things going?” Lumpy asked, his mousy whiskers twitching as to give Moustafa an indication that things were currently okay to divulge the good details.

“We excavated the pyramids and Tutankoopa’s grave has a great many wonders... that we can use. Its ancient Chain Chomp forces are excellent...”

“And so you’ve given my proposal some thought?” Lumpy asked.

“An exclusive, lifetime contract with the Lumpy Oil Conglomerate Association, Limited? For all our energy and water supplies... it’s a tough one.”

“But you’ll be safe,” Lumpy added. “I can protect the Dry Dry Republic with all means at my disposal. Buzzar protects Mt. Rugged, and my oil tankers by the sea...”

“It may seem too aggressive...” Moustafa was always waffling back and forth. He was not a true leader. He was a puppet, and that is exactly what Lumpy required him to be for his oil empire to truly succeed. 

“If you secede, they will invade. I doesn’t matter if it’s Peach or Bowsette, they will invade.” Lumpy clasped his hands together. “You must do what’s best for your people.”

“You’re right...”

Lumpy smiled. “Then we have a deal.”

***

Huff’N’Puff looked down from the clouds, past Flower Fields, down to the world below.

Nimbus Land had fallen, and was now an official territory of the Mushroom Kingdom. The Royal Family had fled and were in exile in Delfino. 

But...

Huff’N’Puff’s territory had remained untouched. A land of plants and nature, a world of beauty and strategic resources (shooting stars were quite powerful). A land of Tuff Puffs and Lakitus that reigned free (or as free as Huff’N’Puff would let them be). And yet...

Why hadn’t the mushroom Kingdom attacked him? Why wasn’t he given the chance for a negotiated surrender giving him asylum and free access to Mushroom Kingdom diplomatic resources so that he could leave this dreadful place and finally get on with his life? It’s not like he WANTED to be a dictator. It just sort of... happened.

And if they weren’t going to take his land over, he couldn’t just invade THEM, or it wouldn’t be the same. He wouldn’t be making the same mistake as Goomboss, Brighton rest his soul.

Why was Nimbus Land chosen and not Flower Fields? It wasn’t fair!

Everything that Bowsette woman did... it was too irrational. She was such a poor dictator... Huff’N’Puff just wished he could... guide her. But it seemed as if that was never going to happen.


	13. Chapter 13: Peach in Captivity (As Usual)

#  Chapter 13: Peach in Captivity (As Usual)

The weather was beautiful and the fresh air smelled great from up on the balcony. However, Princess Peach, deposed monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, could not be out there to enjoy it. While the windows were open, they were also barred, and access to the balcony was now forbidden after her third escape attempt.

So now there was nothing much for her to do with her life except for wandering around the room, reading the stacks of books on her shelves, and laying in bed staring up at the ceiling.

She felt like she was the protagonist of some teen fantasy novel, trapped in a life she didn’t want to live in a fate she wanted to escape from, because she really just wanted to see her girlfriend who was way more exciting than the boring stuffy aristocratic life she had been through for all these years, and yet she found herself in her bedroom alone more often than not.

Not that Peach was literally any of these things, but she sure felt like it sometimes.

Maybe she had been reading too many books lately...

There were a few knocks on her door, and the guards let two guests in. Normally, visits were strictly supervised, but her own handmaidens were certainly allowed to come and go as they pleased.

Now, what Bowsette didn’t know was that these two handmaidens were not ACTUALLY handmaidens, but plain and simple friends of hers, but it wasn’t Peach’s fault that Bowsette had a hard time telling Toads apart.

“Toadette! Toadiko! You’re here!” Peach exclaimed. She hugged her two favorite girls in the whole world together and squeezed them together. “What brings you here today?”

“Well...” Toadette began, but she trailed off. Toadiko nudged her with her shoulder a few times. “Oh, well, we do have some good news!”

“Please, do tell,” Peach said. “Being up here in this room all day, not knowing the way the world is turning... Bowsette won’t even tell me who’s visiting on official business anymore; she just slides reports under my door every week..”

“A lot of things are going badly,” Toadiko said. “Yoshi’s Island is a target for annexation now, and a lot of people are... upset about it...”

“Oh my. That’s the GOOD news?”

“Toadiko! Shut up, dude,” Toadette said. “The good news is that Mario’s coming back! We got a letter from one of his allies, a young man named Gene who has apparently joined Mario’s new team. He’s going around the world fighting minions and bosses to try to reclaim, uh, something. He wasn’t clear. But it means Mario is still out there!”

As he always was. Mario was always going on these grand adventures, collecting things and meeting a whole lot of new characters...

Especially girls... Mario loved collecting new girls and their hearts. He certainly was a ladies’ man and nothing was ever going to change in that regard. He wondered who the new flame was going to be this time. Rekindling his fling with Vivian right in front of Peach was a bit too much for her to take back a few weeks ago, but if everything went all right now, she would be willing to look past all of this. Any of this. She just wanted Mario back.

“I’m really happy for him. I’ll be looking forward to when he gets here,” Peach said, with a hint of envy in her voice. “Is that... all?”

“Okay, so... uhh...” Toadette stammered out a non-response and began to blush. “Princess... is it okay if I tell you something that might be a bit awkward?”

“Go ahead.” Peach stepped back and sat on her bed. 

“I think I might know something about Bowsette that... will surprise some people. Like that... she isn’t who she says she is. The reason she looks so much like you is because I think she’s wearing... a Super Crown.”

“A Super Crown?” Peach was aghast. “But those are locked securely in the Royal Treasury. There’s no way for anyone to access it except for...”

“Well...” Toadette’s face was as red as Captain Toad’s cap. “There was one time when I might have, uh, taken one over to Mario’s house to uh... show it to him...”

Peach realized the implications of Toadette essentially roleplaying as Peach herself at Mario’s home and decided never to think about this ever again. “So what you’re saying is that there’s one that was just out there?”

“Well, at least one... at least one at Mario’s house...”

“And so what, Bowsette is Mario trying to pretend to be his own villain?”

“Or someone got their hands on it at some point,” Toadiko added.

“And now Bowsette has it...” Peach considered this. Could this truly be just some random desperate rival using one of the Mushroom Kingdom’s own power-ups against it? And for what? It made no sense. Was it some no-name like Tatanga or something who just couldn’t muster up the resources necessary to plot a new attack? Who knows. “Well, thank you for this new information. If we can figure out who she is, maybe we can--”

Bowsette burst into the bedroom, slamming the door open. “Peach!”

The three women in the room jumped.

She noticed the toads and pointed towards the door, saying, “You two, get out of here! I’m talking to Peach. Alone.”

They scurried away, and then Bowsette was now alone with Peach.

She stood in front of her, hands on her hips with a fiery expression for some time, her tail wagging like a cat about to strike, but she didn’t speak. Peach was a bit confused. 

“Bowsette... is there something... wrong?” Peach asked.

Bowsette slumped over. “Yeah...”

“Um, what is it...?”

“I... I don’t want to do this anymore. I hate being a stupid ruler of a stupid kingdom.”

Peach was taken aback. Why was she telling her? They barely knew each other, unless underneath the guise of that Super Crown there was something else. They hadn’t directly spoken in weeks. 

“I’m... um... sorry?”

“And I need to admit something to you,” Bowsette said. “I’m Bowser.”


	14. Chapter 14: The Reveal

#  Chapter 14: The Reveal

“Oh.”

That’s all Peach could say for the moments after Bowser revealed himself to her. “Oh.”

The thing that struck Peach as the most odd about their conversation was just the fact that Bowsette looked so weirdly similar to her. There were many differences, obviously--Peach had never, and would never under any circumstance wear a shell on her back with spikes, nor a tail, especially not as long as that--but their faces, their dresses, their body types... they were nearly identical.

Though... Peach was probably exaggerating on the body types part. Bowsette was noticeably taller, noticeably... better-endowed. Peach was not exactly dainty by any stretch of the imagination, but she certainly wasn’t as gifted with such... bodacious, uh, benefits.

So it was almost like twins sitting together, side-by-side on Peach’s bed. This was such an unexpected development that Peach had not been able to process it whatsoever, but she had put her arm around Bowsette in a consoling move.

Bowsette... was Bowser? She never would have thought of it! How could anyone have?

“...It’s just... been so long since I’ve actually succeeded at anything that... I never would have thought... I’d have been so bored by it!” Bowser cried out. His voice was the furthest thing apart about the two. While Peach’s voice was soft and cute, Bowsette’s was pitchy and growling. That was the real way to tell the two apart.

That, and the fact that Peach wasn’t the one breaking down in sobs.

“Why would you even WANT to rule the Mushroom Kingdom?” Peach asked. “You gave up being King Koopa, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t want to RULE it... I just wanted to conquer it. And, uh, I did.”

“Why didn’t you just go to one of those fighting tournaments, then?”

“It’s not the same...” Bowser rest his head on her shoulder, and the Super Crown was resting agaight the back of Peach’s head.

“This... this is too weird,” Peach said. “Bowser, can you take that crown off now?”

Bowser’s body tensed up. “I... Uh, no, I don’t really... want to.”

“How come?”

“I... I like it,” Bowser said. “I like being in a woman’s body. It makes me feel... electric. More powerful than my Koopa body. Humans are so frail and weak, and yet every step I take as Bowsette is...” Bowser stopped and chuckled.

“What is it?”

“I just realized, I’m closer to you now than any time when we were married,” he said.

...

...

“We were never ACTUALLY married. It was always shams and kidnappings.”

“Legally they count.”

“Bowser...”

“Actually... at least when I’m like this, can you call me Bowsette? It’s kind of... weird, when I’m wearing the Super Crown. You know?”

“I understand, uh, Bowsette.”

“So... even if I feel more energetic and powerful than I have in years, I’m still bored, still sad, and defeating Mario didn’t even do anything. What’s... wrong with me? Am I broken?”

“Uh...” Peach didn’t feel like she was qualified to answer this question whatsoever. “You’re not broken. You just have to figure out what makes you happy and stick to that. No more invading countries and beating people up and taking over governments.”

“But I’m so good at it.. I’ve annexed two provinces of Sarasaland and Princess Daisy hasn’t made a single military move against me! How awesome is that?”

When Peach returned to the throne she was going to have a LOT of cleanup duty to accomplish, she was sure of it. But that was for another time. Right now was figuring out what the heck was wrong with Bowsette. He-- uh... she? She just seemed so... sad. Peach had never in all this time facing off against her realized any of this. She spent so much time trying to escape her and fight her and beat her in kart races that she had never really considered... her.

Not the woman in front of her, nor the lizard in front of her.

“You’re probably a terrible person, but you aren’t a bad one,” Peach said. “I hate you and want you to get beaten up, but... you don’t deserve to feel the way you do.” 

“Uhhh...” Bowsette was extremely confused.

“It’s.. It’s complicated, okay?” Peach was also extremely confused. She felt pity and anger simultaneously and that was a dangerous combination of emotions.

“Yeah, so... I think I’m done with all this evil dictator stuff,” Bowsette said. She took her head off Peach’s shoulder and stood up, wiping her dress off as if it had been dirtied by the mud. “You’re free to go. Or whatever.”

She was free to leave? No more being trapped in her own bedroom? No more being held captive by this jerk?

Peach stood up as well. “You know what? Thank you,” Peach said. And then she kneed Bowsette in the crotch. Obviously it wasn’t nearly as painful now that Bowsette didn’t have any man parts to attack, but it still knocked Bowsette to the floor for a moment.

She stormed out of the room, and the castle, and kept walking in a random direction. 

It didn’t matter if Bowsette was feeling the way she was feeling. She had no right to be the absolute jerk she was, and now that Peach was free, she was never going to deal with any of that garbage ever again.

Even though she felt bad for her.

It was still very complicated.


	15. Chapter 15: Bored to be Queen

#  Chapter 15: Bored to be Queen

Sigh.

Bowsette sighed. That’s all she ever did these days.

She laid down in her throne, feet against one of the arm rests and head against the other. He still couldn’t believe he was small enough to actually do it.

“Yo, Toadsworth!” she yelled out past the throne room. “Come over here and get me some more Triple Pie!” If she had access to a Pie Bazooka, there was not telling the wanton pie-related destruction she would surely be causing right now, but for now eating a bunch of it was good enough.

Toadsworth huffed away, doing his master’s bidding at any cost but still grumbling while doing so. 

Bowsette didn’t even care about this anymore. She didn’t want to rule the country and attack a bunch of countries for dumb resources because that’s all she ever did when she was King Koopa, Master of Realms Unknown, the Unwise Fury Sage. But it was such an automatic now that she hardly even thought of it when her generals came in the other morning to discuss tactics and she had gotten them to enact a strategy to send a false force to distract in Stardust Fields while the main army invaded the Beanbean Kingdom by way of Sherbet Land, a No Man’s Land between Shiver City and HooHoo Mountain. They went through with it completely and Bowsette had hardly even thought about it.

Whatever. Peach was around but she was refusing to talk to her. Something about how taking her as a captive prisoner for a month was not the right way to treat a woman. Bah!

Well...

Man, Bowsette had never thought about that kind of thing. Certainly SHE had never been held captive for any extended period, but she had most certainly held many women captive. Almost entirely women.

It was kind of rude, wasn’t it?

Ugh... Now Bowsette felt really guilty. Without regard to the pies that would soon come upon her, she got up from the throne and headed downstairs to the garden. Peach was usually there this time of day, feeding the Piranha Plants (with water, just water!).

But when she reached the door, it was shut and locked. She knocked on it and didn’t get a response. “Is there anyone in there?” she asked. “Hello? Peach?”

Still no response. She knocked one more time, and-- “I don’t want to see you, Bowsette!”

“Wait, I want to apologize!” Bowsette yelled through the door.

“I don’t care!”

Harsh.

You’d think Bowsette was a bad person or something.

Well, she gave it a shot. And now she was going to go back and get a pie, because--

All the Toad Guardsmen laid unconscious on the floor, littered around the foyer like someone went to a doll convention and bought way too much on their credit card. And for some reason bought the same kind of doll.

Standing in front of Bowsette were five individuals.

Mario, a giant stopwatch, a woman in a white dress, a woman with a pink afro, a man in a fedora, and a giant wooden dude. 

“It’s-a us!” Mario shouted, pointing at Bowsette with an accusatory glare. In his other hand he held a giant red-and-blue orb shaped like a mushroom.

Ah, crap.


	16. Chapter 16: Big Fight Chapter

#  Chapter 16: Big Fight Chapter

Mario jumped, as he was known to do. 

He had returned after a long month’s journey travelling from a distant continent, collecting the Seven Mushroom Souls scattered across the planet in hopes of delaying its use in sealing ancient evils should they ever arise, and teaming up with the five men and women who were currently behind him.

And they stood brave.

  * T.T., the brave time soldier that had fought in the bloody Temporal Wars and later helped defeat the evil Wizpig on Timber’s Island.
  * Princess Shokora, the spirit of a long-lost royalty of a long-lost civilization, brought back to life by the power of friendship.
  * Jamie Thang, a pink-afro-wearing disco dancer and all-around groovy gal.
  * Gene, former pro-golfer and current master of the swordsman arts and seeker of female love.
  * And finally, Geno, the doll-brought-to-life we all know and love.



Together, they could do anything.

Bowsette responded to Mario’s jump predictably; she shot several fireballs into the air and left herself completely defenseless for a deadly Geno Beam attack that pushed her into the staircase at the back of the foyer.

Mario landed right next to her, thudding against the ground and meeting her eyes with a determined glare. Their eyes took note of each other for just one split second, but in that moment they realized each other’s presence. Not just as opponents, but as full-fledged enemies. He threw a punch at her, but she grabbed him by the wrist and flung him over her shoulder and crashing onto the floor behind her. Due to the extremely well-waxed tile he slid another ten feet before coming to a complete stop.

Geno followed up his beam with a Geno Whirl, a disc so powerful that, timed correctly, it could cause critical damage with just a graze. He charged up the attack, launched it forward, and--

Bowsette caught it. “Kakakaka!”

She threw it back, this time at Jamie T., who was currently dancing instead of fighting. It hit her and knocked her out immediately.

Gene took out some magic pistols and began firing what appeared to be magic lasers. Mario didn’t keep very good track of his allies’ abilities this time around, to be honest. Toadsworth, who was entering the vicinity holding a Triple Pie, freaked out and jumped, the pie flying briefly into the air. Bowsette responded by jumping, taking that pie, and launching it into Gene’s face. He fell backwards and was disabled for the next several minutes, if not longer.

Bowsette then took out her Chomp Shell, which glowed golden and was nearly blinding all by itself. She smashed Geno to the side, and Princess Shokora’s mysterious magics were unable to create a shield around herself and she was hit as well.

Mario knew this was going to end poorly if they didn’t try something desperate, and fast.

“Don’t you have some cool final blow to end me?” Bowsette asked. “Surely you didn’t come all this way without a plan!” T.T. created five time-displaced clones of himself, but Bowsette shattered three of them in one swing.

Here he went...

“Here it-a is!” Mario shouted, holding up the Mushroom Soul Receptacle. The glass mushroom broke open, sending the seven Mushroom Souls flying around the foyer and circling around Bowsette.

She was as confused as could be, unsure of whether to attack the souls or ignore them and keep clobbering Mario’s allies. She tried to do both, sending fireballs on ground level and then jumping into the sky to bash the ethereal wisps around her. The bashing was ineffective as Mushroom Souls were intangible, but one of the fireballs his Geno, setting his wooden doll form on fire instantly. He began running around the foyer in a bright blaze, but there was little that could be done for him.

Mario had to act before the Mushroom Souls merged; he jumped in front of another fireball that was about to hit Princess Shokora and deflected it back towards Bowsette with his Super Cape. Since Bowsette was still airborne that fireball instead crashed into and destroyed an original family portrait of House Toadstool, but at least Shokora was safe.

He looked back at her and she stared at him with eyes of adoration, face aflame with a passionate blush. In turn, he winked, as he was wont to do. It was only appropriate.

Bowsette landed and wrapped Gene around with her chain, pulling it like a whip and bringing him right up to her. He tried to break free, but the magical golden glow of the chain made it impossible to escape.

“How do you like my crown, big boy?” she asked, her tongue out and sharpened teeth showing prominently.

Gene took off his fedora, revealing the sweat covering his forehead and the balded area of his head. “M...M...Ma’am,” he began. “I just want to let you know... that I could never hurt a woman. You may hurt yourselves if you go with the bad boys all the time, but... if you ever need a man who’s sensitive and kind you can always look to me be by your side. I’ll have you... know I was a pro golfer, and I won a... a... sponsorship from the Orbulon Corporation!”

“Bad boys?” Bowsette scoffed. “Kaka, I don’t need bad boys. I can do bad all by myself.”

Gene gulped.

At this moment, what was left of Geno’s charred body collapsed onto the floor, the fire mostly extinguished. The entire castle would smell like ash for a week.

“M’lady...” Gene said.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be okay,” Bowsette. “I’ll treat you like a virgin, touched for the very first time.”

Gene gulped again, and Bowsette opened her mouth to begin charging a massive breath of fire. At the same time, Princess Peach emerged from a side room and entered the foyer, looking on at this scene in relative horror.

“Mario? What are you doing?” she shouted.

“We’re-a here!” Mario replied with great enthusiasm.

She seemed to realize what was happening and gasped. “No, wait, stop this!”  

But at this moment the Mushroom Souls finally merged together into a large ethereal being in the shape of a Toad, but with human-sized proportions and a cap that was three feet in diameter. It stuck out its cloud-like hand and shot a vicious beam Bowsette’s way, sending sealing magic into every pore of her body. She would be completely depowered, if the spell worked as the Shamans described, and they would have a chance to defeat her for good.

It worked. Her chain lost its luster, turning gray and then brown with rust. Gene broke free, but instead of fighting he merely fainted. 

But then something unexpected happened. The crown on Bowsette’s head cracked and then fell off.

Bowsette’s form disappeared, morphing and shifting into... something else. She grew taller, wider, her eyes glowing brighter, all as if they had unveiled her true form, a much more sinister, evil--

Eh? Bowser?

Mario did not see this coming.

Bowser roared out, a cry of pain and agony and rage, fire bursting out of his mouth as he shouted towards the ceiling. It was powerful enough that it broke off the chandelier, which fell down and crashed into him on the head.

He burst out of the self-created cage a moment later, but by then T.T. had created another ten time clones, all of which ran up to Bowser. He took out the Sonic Cymbals he had used only once before... but they, too, were powerless, at least as far as Mario could tell. They weren’t even good normal cymbals. The T.T.T.Cs reached him and began beating the ever-loving shit out of him. 

“Please...” Bowser cried. “Please... Stop...”

In unison, all of the T.T.s said only, “No.”

And Mario was proud.


	17. Chapter 17: The Kingdom Ablaze

#  Chapter 17: The Kingdom Ablaze

Holly Koopa fumbled with her key ring, hands shaking as she hurriedly tried to locate her house key and get inside. A car alarm went off behind her and spooked her, but when nobody showed up behind her she was able to regain her composure and find her key.

She went inside...

And her home was wrecked. Furniture overturned, glass covering the floor, her late husband’s shell cracked and ashes spilled out. 

Spray painted on her TV was a simple message: “KOOPAS GET OUT.”

Holly couldn’t bear to look at it-- she ran back outside crying. 

Shroom City wasn’t supposed to be like this! This was supposed to be for the bumpkins in the Toadwood Forest, not here! Why... why did they hate her so much?

She had no destination, but she kept on running. It was all she could do.

***

“...and effective immediately, I will depart from the Mushroom Kingdom, never to return,” Merlon said, looking down at the floor. “I apologize for any pain I have caused you or your families. It was only my intention to keep the governmental change stable and easy, not... not to hurt any of you. And that’s what happened.”

“Traitor!”

“Stay here and let us take care of you!”

“Merlon should stand trial with Bowser! They’re best buds!”

“Yeah! Justice for the Mushroom Kingdom!”

***

In a holding cell in an unmarked dungeon in an unmakred castle in an unknown location in Dark Land...

Boom Boom sat amongst a dozen other political prisoners, chained up and huddled in whispers. If the Koopatrols outside heard them, they’d be beaten. But they still spoke. It was their only way of staying sane.

He had heard whispers, literally, of what was going on outside. Not outside this building, per se; it was obvious what was going on in Bowser’s Kingdom, with the worst succession crisis he’d ever been witness to. The revolution against Morton Koopa was deadly and it was a half-decade struggle; Boom Boom had seen his own people suffer and his home destroyed, and for a while he never thought it would have an ending except in his own death. But that revolution was a noble cause fought by honorable comrades against a tyrannical evil. This succession struggle was nothing more than a sham. So many dead, so many imprisoned, so much destruction...

And it was all for naught, apparently. For those whispers Boom Boom heard... they were that Bowser was alive and well... but captured by the Mushroom Kingdom.

Boom Boom looked up at the ceiling and said a little prayer to himself. “Wherever you are, Bowser... Boom Boom is looking out for you, buddy. Be strong. Be the King you were meant to be.”

Boom Boom tried to say that, at least. His voice was too dry to make any sound come out of his throat. Instead, he said it in his mind. And that was enough.

***

They were coming by sea, just like Lumpy had said.

A vast armada of dozens of warships and hundreds of smaller boats approached the coast, Moustafa could see from his telescope. If they reached land, they would surely set a direct path to Dry Dry City, and with their meager militia and the vast desert before them, they could hardly wage an effective guerilla war. If they made landfall, the Republic was doomed.

The main standing in the boat next to him, though, stood tall and proud. He was Jonathan Jones, a captain recommended specifically by Lumpy himself. A proud pirate with decades of experience at sea, he seemed to look down the armada not with fear, but with anticipation.

“They’re using Pirate Guy ships,” Jonathan said, his sharky fins flapping in the wind. “That means they have low priority on this attack. The warships must be skeleton crews, too.”

“You mean they have an army of Dry Bones soldiers on-board?” Moustafa asked.

“No, I mean-- nevermind. If I am reading this formation right, it appears the Mushroom Kingdom has hired none other than Captain Syrup to lead the charge,” Jonathan continued. “My men have dealt with her before. Admiral Bobbery may be in command, but Captain Syrup is the real leader behind a force like this, surely. She won’t be a problem, as long as you have those Banzai Bill Cannons I asked for.”

“They were provided,” Moustafa said.

Provided with a heavy-interest loan from the Red Bob-omb Army... 

If they won this war, he had no idea how they would pay for everything they were afforded. They may never be able to, with Dry Dry’s meager resources and isolated geography.

But freedom tasted too sweet just to give up. They had to fight.

***

“He must stand trial,” Toadsworth said.

“He had control of the Senate and the Courts. He’s too dangerous to be kept alive,” said Chancellor Toad. He had more overt control over the judicial process, even if Toadsworth had more direct access to the Princess herself, and the Chancellor was going to keep it that way, like some young squirt like Toadsworth was going to steal it all away from him. Bah.

“Can’t we just... exile him to Cool, Cool Mountain?” Toadsworth suggested. “Our dissident regions--”

“Our dissident regions are angry that the Mushroom Kingdom so readily transformed into a warmongering dictatorship just because of a change in leadership! If we show that we are at peace again, they will rejoin.”

“But...” Toadsworth tried collecting his words. “We have to LOOK fair. We can’t appear to be what Bowser already was.”

The Chancellor was disgusted. But he had to admit that Toadsworth was right in this, if only this. “But you know how the trial must end. We can’t place Bowser anywhere without considering that he may return. The Mr. Snowmans will riot if we place him anywhere near their territory, after what happened in Sherbet Land. He’s already shown he can escape from an island, and he knows the underground tunnels beneath the continent too well. We have to end this while we can.”

“I understand,” Toadsworth said. “But as far as this line of thought goes, Peach has the final word, you know.” Toadsworth stood up and began departing from the conference room. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go inform Prince Mallow about the fate of his parents.”

“Good luck on that,” the Chancellor said.

Peach having the final word... the Chancellor almost laughed. It hadn’t been a real monarchy in a decade. It wasn’t suddenly going to become one again overnight.

He knew who held the real power in the Mushroom Kingdom.


	18. Chapter 18: Wherein Bowser Cries A Lot

#  Chapter 18: Wherein Bowser Cries A Lot

Bowser cried.

He touched the top of his head, feeling nothing there but the red patch of hair that had always been there, here inside this oversized body to fit his undersized soul.

Down forty floors underneath the ground, in this prison from what used to be the Koopa Bros. Fortress. 

Those four... those imbeciles. What he’d give to be around them these days, in a life that wasn’t filled with utter misery. But they went missing shortly after Mario defeated them in their own hideout. They had apparently fled Bowser’s inevitable revenge, abandoning their identities and slipping into a new life in First Letter World.

They were probably right to do so. Bowser’s temperament back then was... unforgiving. But looking back, surely he would have kept them around. They were loyal, crafty, and while they weren’t too bright, they were tenacious enough that they would have served him well in other plans. They would probably have been much more successful than the Broodals, that’s for sure.

That didn’t happen. Bowser was instead captured and sent to prison, awaiting a trial he knew nothing about, with no visitors and no company. He appeared to the sole prisoner in the entire floor, as if he was so special that they would reserve this honor just for him. 

Bowser clutched at his chest. His thick, muscle-bound chest, hard to the touch and firm like the monster she was. She hated herself.

Her time as Bowsette had been the best time of his life. Better than overthrowing Morton Koopa; better than crushing Shisai’s rebellion; better than all the parties she ruined, tournaments she crashed, heroes and villains she defeated.

Bowser wanted nothing more than to return to that time, but all she could do was sit in this holding cell and continue to cry.

He-- stop it. HE.

Bowser was no longer Bowsette. That time was over. HE was done.

There was a rattling from the nearby elevator as its rickety chains pulled down a passenger. It was a small pig wearing glasses, and one who seemed to have imbibed substances shortly before arriving, from the way he stumbled towards this cell.

Not directly looking Bowser in the eye, the pig spoke. “You don’t know me, I don’t know you,” he said. “This is how this works. I’m Professor Chops. They subpoenaed me into this and now I’m going to be your defense attorney. That okay?”

“...Yes,” Bowser said, softly.

“You sure you don’t want to be your own counsel? You’re allowed. You’re certainly allowed it. I do NOT have to help you here if you don’t need it.”

“It’s fine.”

Professor Chops groaned. “This is going to ruin my career, isn’t it...” He started pacing back and forth in front of Bowser’s cell. Bowser didn’t even know why it was locked, like this. With no other prisoners, no guards, and an elevator that didn’t even work, what use was it to put him in a cramped enclosure except to torture him?

Oh, that’s exactly what it was.

“We’re going to have to settle on an insanity plea,” Chops said. “Do you think you can pull it off? Pretend like the Super Crown was messing with your mind, caused you to do stupid things that violated all the treaties in the world? I mean, kidnapping the Princess is ne thing, but pulling off a coup under the guise of a busty woman... they just aren’t gonna believe this... You’ll have to act positively loopy. I mean, you’ve gotten mind controlled before. Just pretend Cackletta did it, yeah!”

Back when Bowser was Bowletta...

Ugh.

He wanted to curl up in a little ball and stop existing. That would make him feel a lot better than he did right now. 

Bowser stopped listening to Chops as he prattled on about a trial that was sure not to be of any real investigative substance. And then he fell asleep, right then and there, just to let the time pass.


	19. Chapter 19: Is It Alright for Such a Visit...?

#  Chapter 19: Is It Alright for Such a Visit...?

Peach didn’t like it one bit that they were travelling down the narrow, short elevator coming down to see Bowsette like this. If she had it her way, they would simply keep her down here for the rest of time, at least until there was a good enough path to redemption.

Redemption... Peach never thought she’d be saying that about someone as vile and evil as Bowsette.

Er, Bowser?

She remembered that moment, not so long ago, when Bowser had asked her in no uncertain terms to call her Bowsette. But so much had happened since then, and he had lost the Super Crown by now, so... she wasn’t sure what the situation was now. She would keep calling Bowser by Bowser for now, if only to keep it all consistent in her head, but she felt a pang of guilt upon deciding it so.

Peach had tried explaining all of this to Mario the other night, but he didn’t seem like he had any ability to understand it. Then again, with how rarely he expressed his own feelings, it was impossible for Peach to understand anything about him, either.

Finally, they reached the bottom floor of the prison. They had passed so many floors of despicable criminals that had plagued the Mushroom Kingdom, like the Renzor Gang and their rivals the Rexes, the serial killer Toad Bundy, the evil Thwomp King himself... and yet Peach felt guilt towards all of them. This was such a horrible place to live, and they were unable to bring themselves out of the prisoners locking away the goodness in their hearts. This was not rehabilitation; this was simple punishment.

She WAS the royal ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. Why she was letting this simply happen was... well it was out of fear of ignorance. She trusted her advisors, and they had never even deigned it necessary to mention prison conditions to her before now. No-one thought it relevant. 

They reached Bowser’s cell, the only occupied one in the entire prison. He saw the two of them, and his eyes brightened up for a moment before settling back into a distant grimace.

“Hiya, Bowser,” Mario said. “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine,” he replied curtly.

“I wanted to see you personally,” Peach said. “As you may know, your criminal trial is tomorrow, and it may be a very emotional event for you. If you need us to delay it...”

“I don’t need it.”

“Even so. If there is anything you need, please do not hesitate to ask. You are an evil lizard, but we have still known you for so long that...”

Bowser got up and walked up to the bar. “My fire powers no longer work because of your boyfriend’s soul power,” he began. “But if I had them, I promise you you’d be in flames right now.”

Peach backed away a few steps.

Bowser grinned, all his teeth showing and his red mane hairs standing up. 

But even with the menacing glare, his eyes could not hide the sadness within his heart. And that’s what made Peach upset the most. Not the empty threats or the threatening looks. The crushing disappointment he gave towards her.

She knew mixing pity and anger simultaneously was dangerous. This was all getting out of hand...


	20. Chapter 20: Trials of the Koopamancer!

#  Chapter 20: Trials of the Koopamancer!

Professor Chops was nearly asleep by this point, but Bowser was at his most attentive. His life was on the line, here. Not that he cared, but he was genuinely interested in hearing all of the horrible crimes he had committed over the years.

It appeared as though he had done more to help the Mushroom Kingdom in the end than harm it, from the way that they presented all of this.

“...as you can see in chart four,” some Toad with glasses and a purple cap said. “The damage caused by Bowser’s attack forced us to provide significant upgrades to the Perplex Expressway as well as the Star Express, including track electrification and safety measure improvements. That was a significant detriment to our National Debt in that fiscal year and was not covered by insurance, so --”

Bowser raised his hand. Everyone stopped.

“Yes?” Judge Toad, wearing a cap-shaped wig on her head, asked.

“Can I use the bathroom?” he asked.

“No!” Judge Toad shouted. “Criminals don’t get to go to the bathroom during their trials!”

“Then can I get a verdict?”

“Uhh...” Judge Toad rapidly flipped through the giant code of laws to see if the right to a fair and speedy trial was still on the books. “Yeah, I guess so if you want it. It’s gonna be guilty though.”

“Whatever.”

“Okay.” The Judge Toad slammed her gavel down. “Bowser is found guilty on all four thousand one hundred and thirty counts. Sentenced to death by firing squad.”

The crowd gasped, but Bowser shrugged. What, it’s not like they were going to exile him to Fliprus Lake to go rot in some frozen wasteland the rest of his life. He was too much of a risk to them, even if unbeknownst to most of them, his magical energy had been completely sapped away by the Mushroom Souls and had yet to return in any form. So execution was about what he expected.

Bowser stood up as two Toad Guardsmen walked up beside him, ready to escort him out of the building and back to the prison where he would await his final day on Earth. The crowd went into an upracious cheer, chanting and chiding this evil Koopa for all the terrible crimes he committed.

That was okay.

Such was life. Six months ago he was abdicating his throne out of a feeling of frustrated dissatisfaction. Three months ago he was ruling over the Mushroom Kingdom with a feeling of frustrated dissatisfaction. Today he was being sentenced to death with a feeling of frustrated dissatisfaction. 

But then--

Something happened. Peach, sitting in an inconspicuous corner of the courtroom, stood up and walked up to the judge. Everyone was completely confused as to what was going on. She had never attended a public trial before, not in her life, not even when her uncle the traitorous Toadius Toadstool had been captured.

“I have something to say, something to decree,” Peach said, everyone waiting on her word with baited breath. "We can’t let the past rule our future. We can’t allow ourselves to see the world set in stone. Except for you Whomps, don’t worry about you. But Bowser here, in the time I have known him... has changed. Everyone remembers his first attacks against the Mushroom Kingdom. He transformed everyone into blocks and plants and coins... He took over our castles and ruled with an iron fist. It was evil, and it was wrong. But we defeated him.

“But he’s changed from that. Improved, gotten better. You may not believe it, but Bowser has slowly become a better person. With true rehabilitation, he could become a genuinely good person someday. Sentencing him to death will only enraged Dark Land and create another Bowser to one day terrorize our kingdom again. Do we really want that?”

The crowd was silent.

Then Peach pulled out... a Super Crown. Another one.

What the Brighton was going on? Had she really... Was she really going to...

“In my private time with Bowser, I have discovered that redemption may really be possible. And it is for that reason... that I pardon King Koopa, Ruler of the Lava Pits, Heir to the Ancient Koopamancer, and as a token of peace give this present--”

And then a giant tank burst into the courtroom.


	21. Chapter 21: Rescue...?

#  Chapter 21: Rescue...?

A giant tank, the same wood-built design invented and perfected by Bowser himself, was now sitting in the middle of the courtroom. Small cannonballs at the sides shot out randomly at spectators, and a Rocky Wrench popped up to throw his tools at people. 

Bowser was confused and almost relieved, but also more frustrated than ever.

A bunch of Koopa Troop soldiers of assorted species burst out and attacked the Toad Guardsmen in some sort of epic rout. The battle was intense, so intense that it deserved a massive amount of description, but Bowser simply wasn’t up to the task right now. His eyes were instead fully fixed on Peach, who held a Super Crown in her hands, staring back at Bowser. They were just feet away, but the battle made it almost impossible to reach each other.

He tried to make her understand that this wasn’t doing, reaching out for her not with a sinister grab but with a sympathetic gesture. She seemed to respond in kind, extending her own arms out and leaning forward to help him reach the Super Crown, as if giving this to him actually meant something to her.

That meant more to Bowser than anything he had accomplished in a long time. 

But Peach was snatched away by her own guards, whisked away to safety, and Bowser couldn’t reach her or the power-up. She cried out, “Bowsette!”

“Peach!”

No... No! 

Several Koopatrol units grabbed him and carried him back to the tank, where he would be safe. And inside the tank was a very familiar face-- Kammy Koopa.

“Welcome home,” she said with a dry cackle. “We’re glad to have you back.”

The tank took off and then its main cannon converted into a drill. It burrowed a tunnel and zoomed into the network of underground highways left by ancient civilizations. Back towards Bowser’s Kingdom. Back towards the Koopa Troop.

Bowser held himself with his arms and tried not to cry.


	22. Chapter 22: Return...?

#  Chapter 22: Return...?

Bowser awoke from a dream, and as he always did these days, immediately began looking around at his body to make sure that it was still they way it was.

Sometimes he hoped, even prayed to the Star Spirits, that he would wake up and everything would be back to the way it was, and he would be Bowsette once again. He had squandered his time ruling over a country he didn’t want to rule, living a life he didn’t care to win, all because he thought that conquering the Mushroom Kingdom would make him happy.

Obviously, it did not, and now just as his opportunity was gone for good he realized that the Super Crown may have been what made him happy after all, if only for a brief time.

The tank he inhabited was currently returning still to Lava Land, where it would emerge at Bowser’s Castle and probably force him into a big parade with a hero’s welcome and force the adoring populace on him, the thought of which made him queasy.

“Hey Kammy,” he asked. “Is there any way we could skip the formalities and maybe... just go through a back entrance to the castle or something? No celebrations or anything, please.”

Kammy chuckled. “You know, we thought you were dead,” she said. “When our spies reported that the villa on Vibe Island had exploded, we assumed that there was some accident and you were incinerated in the blast. Then come to find out you were that devious Peach lookalike all along! Genius, I do say so myself.”

“Yeah, it... was a good plan.”

“Even so...”

The tank suddenly got a whole lot bumpier. They seemed to be ascending towards the surface again.

“Even so?” Bowser asked.

“You should have stayed dead, my Lord,” Kammy said. “The new Emperor isn’t going to have a good purpose for you, you know.”

“What?”

The tank emerged at the surface and stopped. Everyone got out, and a thousand troops stood before them, with one person at the center.

The new leader of Dark Land.

“Oh my Brighton,” Bowser exclaimed. It couldn’t be.


	23. Chapter 23: It Could Be

#  Chapter 23: It Could Be

It was Princess Peach.

And she was wearing a wedding dress.

“Welcome to your humble abode,” Princess Peach said. “We’ve been expecting your return for a very long time.” She giggled.

This... this couldn’t be. All this time with Peach, and she was actually working to take over Bowser’s own kingdom? It didn’t make sense. It had been only a few months since he had lifted her from captivity, and surely she wasn’t involved in whatever succession crises were left in the wake of Bowser’s previous abdication. 

Nothing added up.

And yet... she was here. 

Everyone, including the thousand soldiers surrounding the tank, bowed down and faced Peach. “Now it is time for us to have our real wedding,” Peach said.

The guards behind Bowser pushed him forwards off the tank and right up to Peach. “I... I... uh, I’m sorry about what happened.”

“It’s all in the past,” Peach said. “I’m sure you didn’t mean it.”

The words stung. “No, but... Princess, I did mean those words. All of them. Everything I said back then was true. And that you were there to hear them... it was important.”

“I barely even remember them,” Peach said.”Let’s forget all about that and get on with our life... together.” She stepped up closer to Bower and pecked him on the cheek.

Bowser pushed her away. “No, I don’t want that! I just want you to understand. Earlier, you almost seemed like you... did... And maybe I’m the one who didn’t before, but after all this time I’m starting to realize... things. I don’t want any of this. I just want--”

“What a buzzkill,” Peach said, her voice deeper and more ghastly.

She disappeared in a poof and in her place appeared... Doopliss, the shapeshifting Duplighost.

Bowser’s face turned from orange to red.

The entire crowd of a thousand soldiers burst into laughter.

This laughter was sustained for five minutes, with Bowser standing there stoically as everyone around him broke down.

If he had his power back he would have crushed them all for defying the King of the Volcanic Atlantis, Leader of Tribe Koopa, High Priest of the Kucherites.

But instead, he stood there and took it.

After most of the chuckles died down, Dooplish transformed into an off-color Koopatrol and patted Bowser on the back, at the rim of his shell. “Come on, now,” he said. “Let’s go meet the REAL Emperor.”

And they headed up a dozen flights of stairs towards the throne room. Bowser felt a pang of anxiety, like this was going to change everything.

As if whoever he would soon meet would be a reveal that would alter Bowser’s world forever, even more than becoming Bowsette for the first time.


	24. Chapter 24: The Emperor of Dark Land

#  Chapter 24: The Emperor of Dark Land

Bowser, Doopliss, Kammy Koopa, and a hundred soldiers behind them entered the throne room. It was supposed to feel like a heroic homecoming, but Bowser was being prodded along like he was a prisoner and there were certainly no adoring masses around to notice his presence. 

This was essentially what he had asked for when they were returning to his kingdom, but not in the same way that he had imagined. This was... foreboding.

As they approached the throne, Bowser saw something that confirmed all of his suspicions. It was almost an anticlimax to see who was sitting on the throne:

Wendy O. Koopa, filing her nails and putting extreme attention into concentrating on that one specific task. She didn’t seem to have even heard the hundreds of figures entering the room.

Out of all of Bowser’s children born to his first wife, he believed Wendy was always one of the most apt to be his true successor. Morton Jr., actually a half-brother he secretly adopted as a hatchling, always had machinations for the throne, and competed very directly with Ludwig, Bowser’s firstborn. The other boys were largely left to their own devices, with Roy too interested in his own tough-guy reputation and Larry, Lemmy, and Iggy too weak, but Ludwig and Morton Jr. were the ones that were most willing to crush the others to take the throne.

However, Wendy was the only of the seven to have the potential to be a true leader, in Bowser’s eyes. She was vain, egotistical, and smart. As the middle child she had plenty of older siblings to learn from, and plenty of younger siblings to boss around, and that gave her the power necessary to learn and become the next ruler of Dark Land

She was a lot like her mother in that way, though Wendy herself would never be forced to endure the pain and struggle of a five-year revolution like she did. It almost brought a tear to his eye to see her like this.

To be honest, though, Bowser had somewhat expected Bowser Jr. to be sitting there. He was far too young to assume the status, but he was sure that Kamek and Kammy would support him, propping him up as their puppet to ensure a peaceful transition until another of their progeny could prove remarkable enough. Wendy having defeated her rivals was a feat of its own, in that.

“Oh, Dad, didn’t see you there,” Wendy said. “Just doin’ my nails.”

Bowser, without being able to help it, bowed to his daughter. He was too proud of her to do anything otherwise.

“Eh?” She looked down at the throne and realized where she was sitting. “Oh, OH. Kakakaka.” She laughed and then hopped up from the throne. “It’s not me, don’t worry. I ain’t lookin’ to be that kind of gal. Too much work.”

Bowser got up and pretended that that had never happened.

Wendy still chuckled to herself, though. She walked over to Bowser’s side as they waited for the Emperor to arrive and said, “We really oughta get more chairs in here. It’s a pain to do your nails standin’ up, you know.”

“Who.. who is the Emperor?” Bowser asked.

“You’re about to see,” Wendy said.

Kammy teleported to a spot in front of the throne. She pulled out a tiny trumpet to blow on, but not much sound came out. “All hail the Emperor of Dark Land, the All-New, All-Different!”

Hey, that was Bowser’s title!

Out from behind the throne, stepping into the spotlight was-- Boshi?!

Boshi was just some punk Yoshi who wasn’t evil or anything. Why was he here? How did he prevail in the succession crisis?!

...And then he, too, walked past the throne and stood facing the throne next to Bowser.

“How’d you end up here?” Bowser asked him.

“Boshi Boshi Boshi,” Boshi said.

“Ah, makes sense. Pretty interesting stuff.”

Some drummers and chanting Koopas stepped out and lined the side of the room, making a loud racket that wasn’t very nice to listen to and covered up whatever Kammy was saying as she continued to introduce the Emperor.

Out stepped King Bob-omb. He quickly left to the side, as did Metal Mario, who would have been an otherwise very interesting boss had he won the succession.

“I love the way they do this introduction,” Doopliss says. “It’s so matching of the Emperor’s character. Such strong playfulness. Like me.”

What did that even mean?

The singers stopped and the drummers quieted down into a drum roll. 

Who was it? Who was it? Bowser was dying with anticipation

“And here is... The Emperor!” Kammy shouted.

The Emperor stepped out and then sat on the throne.

OHHHHHHHHH.

THAT made sense.


	25. Chapter 25:

#  Chapter 25: Such Wasn’t Life

“Hello, Bowser,” the Emperor greeted.

“Hello, Morton.” Bowser said.

Or to be more accurate, Dry Morton. A Koopa encased entirely in bone and dust, aside from piercing red eyes  He was gray and withered; several decades as a dead pile of remains would do that to anyone. But he was still sixteen feet tall, a gargantuan beast among gargantuan beasts.

The first thing Morton did after this exchange was lean back and breathe a massive beam of fire towards Bowser and the many Koopatrols behind him. The minions were guarded by their armor, and Bowser absorbed the fire as his royal blood dictated. He could not harness it any longer, but he was still a member of the Koopa family through and through. 

“You are still the son I always wanted,” Morton said. 

“You abandoned me in the Kalimari Desert and told me I was a disgrace,” Bowser said. 

“That was then.”

“I was four.”

Morton cackled, his bones jiggling and rattling together. “Dr. Scienstein and Kamek really did a number on me here, didn’t they? They had no idea I was going to have the... vitality as I so now. They serious believed I would be complacent towards their wishes, like that Dry Bowser clone of yours you have. Or, had.”

Bowser didn’t respond. He didn’t care much for Dry Bowser. His absence meant little.

“But I am glad that I awoke when I did. Your family was tearing itself apart. If I had not intervened, your sons may have all ended up killing one another. Instead, I let them simply bow to me, their grandfather.”

“Kamek is their grandfather,” Bowser said.

“Was.”

Bowser’s eyes opened wide; he looked at Kammy, who looked away.

“You have neglected your children for half a year with your trifles. But they will all learn their true place in the Koopa family when this is all said and done. Wendy here is my official liege. Larry and Roy have enlisted in the Royal Defense Force. The rest... did not fare as well, but they will learn, in time.”

“Even... Morton Jr.?” Bowser asked. 

Morton laughed. “You giving him that name is an irony I could never lived to have laughed about. It is fortunate that I am undead, then.” He laughed again.

“What happened to him?!”

“I sent him off to the Waffle Kingdom for higher education. What do you think, Bowser? He’s in prison because he simply could not accept the truth of his existence. You never told him, Bowser. He was too loyal to your other son, the self-proclaimed Conqueror.”

Bowser... Jr.? He had no idea which of the five remaining sons would be able to rally the others into some sort of organized faction.

He had missed so much in his time as Bowsette. What had all of this become?

“You’ll never get away with this,” Bowser said. “Now that I am here--”

“Now that you are here, I can finally use your celestial blood to rejuvenate my body,” Morton said. “It’s either you or Morton Jr., and I know you are too soft to let me choose the latter.”

He was right.

“Take him away,” Morton said. “I want him to be put in the darkest cell we have. Then he’ll know what it was like for me to lay a pile of bones for decades.”

Escaped from a prison cell, ended up in a different prison cell. Bowser’s life seemed almost like Peach’s at this point. Captivity was not a very fun exercise but this was definitely a fitting penance for all the harm he had caused over the years.

Such was life.


	26. Chapter 26: Dungeon Duos

#  Chapter 26: Dungeon Duos

Hmm.

This cell was a bit more damp, a bit more dark, than the one underneath the Koopa Bros. Fortress that Bowser had stayed in for a month before his criminal trial. But even if it was in worse condition, it was larger, and there were a dozen other prisoners to keep him company. It was a noticeable upgrade in every way. 

Even if he was tossed in, even if his arms and legs were bound, he was still Bowser, the Power of the Stars, the Unholy Terror of the Mushroom Kingdom. Even if he desperately didn’t want to be so.

“You won’t keep me here,” he told the guards. “You will let me go.”

“Emperor’s orders,” the Koopatrol said. 

“I should have never replaced the Terra Cottas with you cretins!” he shouted.

The other prisoners all giggled softly.

He gruffed. “What?”

One dry, flaky voice in particular caught Bowser’s attention. 

“Old friend...” Boom Boom said, weakly.

“I knew you’d be here somewhere,” Bowser said with a smile. “How’s it been?”

“Boom Boom’s been better. Hasn’t worked out in a while.”

Bowser’s eyes adjusted to the darkness better and he saw what had become of Boom Boom. He was emaciated, his muscles gone and belly thin. His smile was with teeth that had been worn down, eyes that sagged. How long had he been in this prison?

“How long have you been in this prison?” Bowser asked.

“Since the beginning,” Boom Boom said. “Your father-- Kamek, that is-- deemed Boom Boom a threat to the throne, so he had him put in here for the duration of the conflict.”

“You? Why would you ever have been a target?”

“Boom Boom could have been a contender,” Boom Boom said. “He’s given it a lot of thought since he got here, and Kamek was probably right. Out of everyone outside the Royal Family, Boom Boom was the only one who could have given it a fair shot. Boom Boom was the one who could convince you to abdicate, so he could have been the one to convince all the factions in Dark World to work together not from fear, but from allegiance. Kamek didn’t want that because he feared Boom Boom’d make a democracy.”

“Would you have?”

“Oh Brighton, no. Boom Boom doesn’t trust the Goombas to vote with their minds,” Boom Boom said. “He would have done something more like a--”

“Hey, knock off the chatter!” one of the Koopatrols shouted.

“I am King Bowser! Don’t you DARE tell me what to do or you’ll end up with a fiery dessert.”

The Koopatrol walked in front of the cell bars. “The Emperor has informed us that you no longer possess your magical abilities after your recent fight with Mario. The only threat you would pose--”

Bowser roared, shaking the foundations of the prison cell and knocking the Koopatrol onto the ground.

No longer did they interrupt their discussion.

“Go on,” Bowser said. “I want to know... how did all of this happen? Was this all a mistake for me to leave?”

“It may have been,” Boom Boom said. “You needed a rest. You needed to come to grips with yourself, because you were certainly NOT yourself when you left. But Boom Boom just didn’t account on... well, the craziness. Uncle Psycho Kamek going, uh, psycho... the Koopalings dividing between Larry and Ludwig, and then Kamek propping up Bowser Jr... General Guy’s insurgency, funded by Game Guy of course... it was turning into chaos, and then Kamek and Kammy apparently decided that since those with royal blood had the power to be resurrected, they might as well use your father-- Morton, Boom Boom means. At least that’s what the others here have told.”

“What idiots.”

“Well, it ended the crisis.”

“And five of my sons are imprisoned, as well as my best friend and probably most of my lieutenants.”

“Actually, most of them fled into exile,” Boom Boom said. “Boom Boom hears Whomp King was out near Glitzville, and Big Bertha was amassing troops in the Blocheep Sea, not that it matters anymore. Only King Bob-omb submitted to his rule; General Guy is still fighting in guerilla attacks in the countryside according to rumors.”

One of the other prisoners, that rascal Lakithunder, spoke up. “General Guy’s on the run now. Anti Guy got captured a few weeks ago so it’s probably not much longer.”

“That’s unfortunate...”

“I do have to say, though,” said another prisoner, a Buzzy Beetle named Chan. “Your son the Conqueror led an admirable rebellion. If he had just had a little more help he would have defeated Morton, I believe.”

“The Conqueror?”

Boom Boom laughed and then coughed. “Iggy. Kamek trained him well in the art of magic, and he used illusions and spells to take down most of Morton’s armies. All of the Koopalings except for Roy joined him, but... Morton was too strong. That’s what Boom Boom was told, at least.”

That made Bowser proud, that a son he regarded as weak could be such a surprising threat. Maybe the Koopalings were all more powerful than he suspected. They were Royals, after all.

“So... is there any way we can defeat this man?” Bowser asked.

“We did it before, so... Actually, Boom Boom doesn’t know,” Boom Boom said.

They did it before, but they were all young, infused with the passions of youth and the vibrancy that was a clean and ambitious revolution. Bowser had the perfect origin as a neglected Prince come back to seize what was his. This endeavor here almost seemed petty in comparison. 

And Bowser himself would soon be destroyed in a magical incantation to restore Morton’s body. 

“I have a plan,” Bowser said. “But I don’t know if we can manage it like this.”

“So... we need to escape?”

“We need luck.”


	27. Chapter 27: Luck Comes

#  Chapter 27: Luck Comes

It was a while before Bowser was able to calm his nerves and realize again how upset he felt about practically everything in his life. He was still a failure, still unhappy, still a loser in a body he hated. Conquering the Mushroom Kingdom, inhabiting the form and identity of someone as energized and cool as Bowsette, was a breath of fresh air, but even that didn’t do anything but distract him from his feelings at hand.

He was shaken to the absolute core by the Dry Bones resurrection of Morton Koopa, the imprisonment of most of his children and his impending doom. It meant that everything he did, from abdicating the throne to coming here, was all for naught. It invalidated his entire life and all its past accomplishments to have such an evil man, a ruthless tyrant come back to life and take over, after all he accomplished-- no, he and his many allies accomplished.

At this point, being executed in the Mushroom Kingdom would have been a saving grace, because at least then he would never have known about Kamek’s incomprehensibly-idiotic decision to bring Morton back.

The way Boom Boom was suffering was also entirely his fault, and he had to bear witness to it in plain view. The succession crisis was over and Boom Boom’s “threat to the throne” should have been over, but Morton must surely have been keeping him down here with the sole purpose of further torturing Bowser.

Little did Morton know that Bowser was very good already at torturing himself.

The two of them had come up with a plan were they ever to escape. They just needed a way to do that, and it so far had never come. Bowser was starting to get very worried that Morton was going to seize him for whatever magical ceremonies they needed to perform to restore Morton to his full strength. Without the High Priest Shisai around to perform it, it was going to be a difficult and delicate situation, so they were likely practicing and trying to find a magician with enough skill and finesse to actually do it. The Magikoopa clan was vast, but most were not of that level of skill, and surely Kammy Koopa would not sink so low as to sacrifice her own surrogate grandson or great-grandson, if it came to that.

Sigh...

The Koopatrol guards, who cycled out every few hours and stood mostly silently, even if Bowser and Boom Boom and the others were talking loudly together, suddenly began chattering.

“A visit? No way,” one said. “Who are you, any-- uh, from her? Well, okay then, but... no funny business.”

The cell door opened...

A woman in a blue shell entered.

“Mario let me borrow one of his power-ups,” she said. She leaned in close to Bowser and whispered, “You guys are... really stupid, you know that? This disguise is NOT very good. How in blue blazes did I get past you all without anyone recognizing me?”

“Peach, what are you doing here?” Bowser asked. “Wait, is this actually you?”

“Huh?”

She squatted down, her knees touching the muddy, damp floor and getting dirt all over herself. She quicked at this, but kept talking. “I know this was dangerous and stupid and I didn’t even tell Toadsworth that I was doing this, but I’m here for you, Bowsette. I’m here to rescue you.”

Bowsette smiled.


	28. Chapter 28: Getting Outta Here

#  Chapter 28: Getting Outta Here

Boom Boom was confused. Who was this strange looking Koopa with a blue shell and why was Bowser acting so familiar with her? Why was she calling him “Bowsette?”

It didn’t seem to matter, though, because this lady, whether she was a Koopa Shepherdess from Windmillville or some defector to the Mushroom Kingdom living in Decalburg, was currently freeing Bowser of her chains, and soon moved to take them off Boom Boom himself.

He had hardly walked in months, and it was very difficult to stand. He felt like he was going to collapse when he took his first few steps, but he soon steadied himself.

The other prisoners were soon free as well, and immediately began assaulting the Koopatrols that guarded the prison. Lakithunder summoned his cloud and tossed a lightning bolt, disabling four of them.

It was a full-on prison break!

“Chaaaaaaaarge!” A Chargin’ Chuck yelled as he plowed through a dozen guards at once. 

Boom Boom struggled to keep up, but Bowser pulled him along with him and the blue-shelled Koopa. 

“What’s happening?” Boom Boom asked.

“Remember our plan?” Bowser asked. 

“Yes, but this wasn’t a part of it! We were supposed to be quiet about escaping!”

“I’ve altered the plan,” Bowser explained. “Pray I don’t alter it further!”

Boom Boom made sure to pray to every deity he could think of.

***

The three of them had taken back the castle prison, lowered the skull flag, and escaped to somewhere nice. Lakithunder stayed behind to set up the fortress for impending attack by the Koopa Troop army and would fare for himself, but of course would fall just like any other insurrection in Morton Koopa’s Empire. 

They had begun a new journey, out towards a new location deeper within enemy territory, and this was where the original plan was going to kick into action. 

But first... they needed a short rest before they continued onto Chaos Castle.

The blue-shelled Koopa sat down and noticed Boom Boom staring. She waved.

“I don’t think we’ve met,” she said.

“With all due respect... who are you?” he asked. 

Bowser laughed. “You were never the brightest,” Bowser said. 

The Koopa removed her shell-- and the shell turned out to be just a power-up suit. This was... Princess Peach?!

Boom Boom nearly fainted.

“Wh...wh...why?!” Boom Boom exclaimed.

“Boom Boom... I kind of have a story to tell you,” Bowser said. 


	29. Chapter 29: Black is the New Orange

#  Chapter 29: Black is the New Orange

“...Bowsette? That’s what Boom Boom should call you?” Boom Boom asked.

He seemed confused, which was about normal. Bowser hadn’t been able to tell practically anyone about these weird feelings except for Peach in all this time and didn’t know if anyone would ever be able to understand. It was hard to process even for, uh, himself?

“It feels... better that way,” he tried to explain. “I don’t get it either but... It’s something I’ve been trying to understand for a while now.”

“Uh... Hmm.”

Peach raised a finger like she was going to explain further but Bowser pushed her hand down. This wasn’t her time for that. 

By the way, Peach right now was looking smoking hot in a miniskirt and work boots. This was apparently her most casual, ready-to-do-battle outfit, and that was hilarious to think about.

“All I mean is that I think that Bowser, the giant Koopa King, doesn’t reflect who I... am on the inside. I think that Bowsette... does,” he said. “But... it’s complicated.”

“Boom Boom thinks he understands,” Boom Boom said. “You’re happier as Bowsette, and that’s what Boom Boom wants you to be, so Boom Boom will respect that.”

“Thanks.”

He felt a bit like crying, but managed to push that away.

Boom Boom thought further. “So is this what’s been troubling you all this time?” he asked.

Bowser shook his head. Or, Bowsette shook... her head... It was going to take getting used to, even for herself. “I don’t think so. I feel so down all the time because I feel like a complete failure at everything I ever do, and being Bowsette doesn’t change that.” Wow, she was being extremely honest right now.

“Therapy would help,” Boom Boom said. 

“You mean the magic spell? I don’t have any magic powers anymore,” Bowsette said.

“No, Boom Boom means... Like, the guy Boom boom used to see, Doctor Sigmund Shrinkasaurus. He helped Boom Boom a lot through some times when he had, uh, shell shock from the revolution.”

“Shell shock? Like the party game where you fight with tanks?” Bowsette asked.

“No Boom Boom means, traumatic memories from-- Whatever. Get help.”

“We will get help,” Bowsette said. “When we get to Chaos Castle and free my children.”

Boom Boom didn’t respond.

Peach, though, stepped up close to Bowsette, putting her hand on her rugged, scaly, gross face. “I do have to tell you something, though,” she said.

“Yes?”

Slap.

“That’s for escaping from me when I was pardoning you!” Peach yelled. 

“I was kidnapped! It’s not my fault!”

“That was hardly a kidnapping! You could have beaten them up!”

“I was in chains...”

“Oh, fair point,” Peach said.

Another slap.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“Now you know what being kidnapped feels like!”

Peach hugged Bowsette, and then rummaged through her pocket to pull out a new power-up

“Is that..”

“It’s not for Boom Boom, that’s for sure,” Peach said. “Try it on.”

Bowsette took the Super Crown and in a surge of light and electricity, transformed into a humanoid shape, her scales disappearing and skin replacing it. Her tail and horns receded, and a long black dress formed around her body.

Bowsette was now... well, she was still Bowsette. That part was on the inside. But now she felt... right.

She felt powerful.

Boom Boom bowed, as if Bowsette was a completely different leader than the one he had been gazing upon moments earlier.

“Kakakakakaka!” she laughed, a high-pitched shriek of victory. She held her head toward the sky and... Still no fire.

She really wanted to breathe fire again.

“I really want to breathe fire again,” Bowsette said.

“I’ve been looking into that,” Peach said. “There’s a way to restore your magic. But... we can’t get to that yet. We still have to save the Koopalings.”

“How do you know they are in Chaos Castle, anyway?” Boom Boom asked.

“A little birdy told me,” Peach answered with a wink.

“You are working with Valentia?” Bowsette asked.

“No, I mean... Whatever.”

She slapped Bowsette again for good measure.


	30. Chapter 30: Chaos Theatrics

#  Chapter 30: Chaos Threatrics

Boom Boom threw the two royal females onto the ground, both of them skidding along the dirty surface and frankly ruining their dresses because that stuff was not coming out.

“Boom Boom caught these two traitors!” Boom Boom shouted. “They were plotting against Morton and tried to cause a prison break nearby. But don’t worry, Boom Boom and his friends helped put it down. Now we need to lock them away before they can do any more damage.”

The Sumo Bro guards looked down at Princess Peach and Lordess Bowsette with disgruntled disdain. “Dude I hate processing new inmates,” one said. “Can you please do the paperwork this time? I’ll owe you, I swear.”

“Deal,” the other said.

“You clod!” Bowsette shouted. “How could you turn on us like this?!”

“Boom Boom’s duty is to the throne,” Boom Boom said. “Not to a pretender.”

“We don’t care,” the Sumo Bro said. “Just get on with your way and--”

Boom Boom wound up his arms and then spun rapidly into them, knocking both guards down and out.

Peach and Bowsette got up. 

“Not as strong as Boom Boom used to be, but that was pretty fun,” he said.

“Let’s go in and free everyone,” Peach said. She put back on her Blue Shell power-up so that nobody would be able to recognize her. Bowsette appreciates a finely-shaped shell, but an impostor shell like this was not attractive at all. If it weren’t for the necessity of battle, she would never have allowed Peach to make such an ugly fashion statement.

They descended the stairs into the main prison hall. Chaos Castle was, strangely, MUCH more secure than the castle Bowsette and Boom Boom had been imprisoned in. There were many more types of guards than just the simple Koopatrols, including Dark Lakitus circling over the cells and several Twomps and Whomps right in front of the entrances. If only they had enough coins to bribe these guys into being on their way.. but Bowsette knew as much as any dictator that fear was one of the strongest motivators. They would have to beat these guys to surrender.

And that’s what they did. Bowsette jumped into the air, kicked two Lakitus down off their clouds, and floated down gently to the--

Ah crap!!! Bowsette didn’t have the magic to be able to float anymore!!!

She crashed on the ground and was disabled for a couple moments.

Boom Boom and Shell Peach were bouncing around the place; Boom Boom spinning and throwing his own spiked shell at guards, and then throwing Peach around and letting her ricochet around the place. Soon they broke into the cells and freed the prisoners on this first floor, which included an assortment of Black Bob-ombs, Fire Bros., and Wigglers. A very dangerous combination, but one that was able to take down the guards in just moments.

Bowsette finally summoned the strength to... get back up...

Okay, there. Boom Boom and Peach looked at her with glares, but she ignored them and dusted off her dress. She did what she wanted in battle, and that was her strategy. Caring whether or not it succeeded was beyond her capabilities.

The continued on down to the next floor, where there were several Rocky Wrenches throwing things at them. Peach pulled out a parasol and began rotating it rapidly; as she dropped into her shell it spun faster and faster, to the point that every wrench that flew this way bounced off her and back to the guards. 

Bowsette had to one-up that, then. She dashed forward towards a large Thwomp, brought out her claws, and scratched it twice in an X-formation. It exploded, sending chunks of rocks everywhere. 

A few automated Clown Cars flew into the room, just as sirens blared. The Koopa Troop Army was likely onto them now, so they needed to hurry. Behind them were more Koopatrols and the same Sumo Bros from before. 

They went further down the hall. Dozens of Spinies marched towards them, and there were a few Bullet Bill launchers set up, as well as a huge Chain Chomp.

Bowsette looked at Peach, and then to Boom Boom. “We need a plan, and quick.” She thought quickly. We’ve all got shells. Let’s use them!”

Boom Boom and Peach nodded. 

Peach and Bowsette each got inside their shells and Boom Boom picked them up. He began winding himself up, twisting his body as far as it would go, and then let go. He spun around at rapid speed, using the most of his meager amount of magic to shoot fireballs in a circle around him. Along with that, he launched Peach backwards towards the guards there and Bowsette forwards, aiming directly for the Chain Chomp. Bowsette crashed into several Spinies, going at such a fast rate that a few of them instantly burst into flames. Bowsette collided with the Chain Chomp, denting its spherical body and sending it flying backwards until it itself collided with and obliterated one of the cell walls. Paragoombas with clipped wings poured out, casing chaos but no real damage to any of the guards. 

Bowsette hopped out of the inside of her shell and looked back to see Peach still bouncing around in her shell, holding her parasol outwards and bashing it into nearby guards. Atta girl.

What to do about the Rocky Wenches and Spinies around Bowsette, then? Well, here was one drastic, foolish move; she did a jump-and-slide, got behind the Chain Chomp and smashed in the wooden spike keeping it chained down. She then grabbed the beast by its chain, mustered all the strength in her weak human body, and began spinning it around like a weapon.

It yelped a few times before accepting its unfortunate fate, and Bowsette had officially tamed her first Chain Chomp as a half-human. She swung it in a circle, smashing it into every enemy around her, and obliterating the Bullet Bill cannons before they had a chance to do much damage to any of them. With Peach and Boom Boom having mostly cleared out the enemies behind them aside from the Clown Car robots above, Bowsette made the decision to continue forward, where she could see a large holding cell that was likely home to her children.

Four Koopatrols stood in front of the cell, and she could see at least Lemmy hopping up and down to try and get above them and figure out what all the commotion was. Instead of fighting them, Bowsette simply glared, licked her lips and then ROARRRRRRRed, letting out as fierce a growl as her body could give. 

It wasn’t half as impressive as her Koopa roar, but it was just as effective; the guards turned tail, literally, and ran away. She swung the Chain Chomp one more time, breaking down the bars to the cell, and then let the monster go free, leaving it up to its own devices.

Peach and Boom Boom quickly caught up to her.

Five Koopalings, all here: Ludwig, Lemmy, Bowser Jr., Morton Jr., and last of all-- Iggy, the Conqueror who led a rebellion against his grandfather. She ran over to them, grabbed them all together, and gave a big huge.

“Oh, boys...”

She let out a few tears; as Bowser she never would have deigned it necessary to express her emotions like this, but she couldn’t help herself; she cried her eyeballs out to know her kids were safe.

They were very confused.

“Don’t worry about her,” Boom Boom said. “She’s... an ally.”

Oh, that was right.

She let go and saw their very confused faces, having just been embraced by an unfamiliar Peach-like being with no explanation. She folded her arms and pretended to be all aloof about it. “Aight,” she said. “I saved you. Now get on out of here.”

They all looked to Boom Boom for explanation. 

“Who is...” Bowser Jr. wasn’t even sure how to ask the question.

“My name is Bowsette!” she shouted. “And listen up! You five are heroes! But you’d better understand these directions and follow them closely!” They tuned in with great attention. “My f-- That evil Morton Koopa, Dry Morton, whatever you want to call him, must be stopped. But he is too powerful right now. Even in his current form he is too much for anyone to handle, and he aims on regaining his lost power by utilizing celestial blood in a sacrificial spell.

“See last time we beat him, we did it with the Firestone Amulet. But that was destroyed. So we have to try another way. You five are strong, and you did a noble thing, but you cannot defeat Morton Koopa in his current state. In fact, if he gets his hands on you--” She stuck a finger into Morton Jr.’s chest. “He will be able to use your blood to revive himself fully.”

“Wh...Why me?” Morton Jr. asked in a grunt.

“Because, I... Because your blood is more pure than the rest of your siblings.” She wanted to stop right here and tell him everything, that he was actually Bowsette’s much younger brother, that he was the Heir Apparent to the current throne, but it wasn’t the right time. It’d give him ambitions that he simply didn’t have the ability to fulfill. Maybe another time. “The rest of you... please protect him. Do you understand?”

The other four Koopalings nodded.

“Good,” she said. “Then what you should do is fight underground. Free castles, help fugitives escape. Help General Guy, if you can. But don’t let yourselves be captured. Be strong. Wait for us. When we come back to Dark Land, we will not be alone, and you will be able to join us for the ultimate battle. I promise.” She looked directly at Iggy. “Someday you will be a real Conqueror. But for now... you just need to be a Savior. Do it for... do it for your Father.”

Iggy gave one decisive nod, and his glasses fell off a little bit. “For Bowser.”

“For King Bowser!” the five of them shouted in unison. Bowser Jr. looked down in sadness, still too young to be able to get past the fact that his father was apparently gone. 

Bowsette took a few steps back from them and looked at her two companions. “If we want to escape Dark Land today, we need to do it soon. The Blarggs come out more often at night, so we can’t risk moving too far then.”

“Do you know the fastest way out?” Peach asked.

“Ka! I am the Lordess Bowsette, Tracker of a Thousand Paths, Devourer of Worlds! I know every facet in the Kingdom. Every lava lake, every Goomba hamlet. If you want a quick way out, you’ve got the right gal!”

The Koopalings were still very confused about this strange woman, but they seemed eager to follow her orders. That was okay with her for now.

She would... tell them when she was ready that she was their father... er, mother? Right now was not the right time for that, not at all.

They escaped the prison together, setting up a few bombs to knock the whole prison section of Chaos Castle down. And then they bid their farewells to the Koopalings, who joined the Fire Bros. and Paragoombas and Wigglers and other escapees making their way towards safety. 

Bowsette would be back. She had promised, after all. But for now, she would be once again leaving Bowser’s Kingdom, and probably for a very long time. She took one last look at her sons before they disappeared from view, and prayed to the Spirit Stars that they would watch over them.


	31. Chapter 31: Highway Diner

#  Chapter 31: Highway Diner

Bowsette, Peach, and Boom Boom were now near Moonview Highway, right at the border of the Mushroom Kingdom. It took a day to leave the confines of Dark Land, dodging Lantern Ghost patrols and nearly falling into a nest of Lunge Fish as they entered the Secret Swamp. It was another day until they reached civilization again, a place to take refuge.

How Peach did this all on her own the first time was beyond Bowsette... though, knowing her, she probably took a plane as far as she could and parachuted out onto Dark Land, or something like that.

Now, they were near enough to the Mushroom Kingdom that they could access the Warp Pipe network to quickly travel all along the continent. That was lucky, but it also meant that they needed to solidify their plans, and quickly.

So they decided to find a small diner to stop at and eat, the Tangerino Grill, so they could discuss plans. And using a spare Bowser Phone that Peach somehow had access to, they called up a friend... or should Bowsette say, an ally. Definitely not a friend.

“Glad to be here,” said Nabbit, sitting on a cushion so that his head could reach above the table at this booth. Bowsette sat next to the window, across from Peach. She had kind of hoped that they would be sitting next to each other, but it was nice to be able to look at her face like this.

Not that she... 

Oh, who was she kidding about that. She had tried marrying Peach far too many times to admit that it was just mere geopolitical-fueled kidnappings. Peach was a true beauty, and the fact that Bowsette looked so much like her was not a minus at all.

“We’re glad to have you here,” Boom Boom said, sitting next to Bowsette and putting his arm up on the booth around her, presumably to stretch out his very long arms that had been in chains for several months. He had better not be getting fresh anytime soon, though,  because Bowsette ain’t gonna have kind reactions to that, let her tell you. “However, Boom Boom doesn’t think we’ve been introduced.”

“I’m Nabbit,” said Nabbit. “I bag it, I grab it. I nab it. That’s my name. Get it? Huh?”

“Yeah...” Boom Boom gave Bowsette a side-eye glance, and Bowsette shrugged.

“So, what do you need bagged? Or grabbed? Give me the details. Tell me about it. I wanna listen.” Peach quietly reached and grabbed the coffee from in front of Nabbit and set it on the table in the booth behind her.

“We’re about to embark on a quest,” Peach said. 

“A quest? What kind? Defeating Bowser again? Saving the Sprixies? Saving the Princess? A different Princess, I mean?”

“We’re trying to defeat Emperor Morton Koopa,” Bowsette said. “He’s the most powerful Koopa in a thousand years, sixteen feet tall and currently a pile of bones attached together by twisted dark magic. He’s set to envelop the world into an eon of darkness if he gets his way.”

“Ah. That’s a toughie. Pretty interesting. Gotta think about it. No way. Too dangerous,” Nabbit said. Without missing a beat, he added. “Name a price. Yeah, I’ll think about it. Done. Fifty percent and it’s done.”

“Fifty percent of... what?” Boom Boom asked.

“Net profit.”

“This... this is a mission to save the world, not to make money,” Boom Boom said.

Nabbit shrugged with his nubby little arms. “Fifty percent of all loot.”

“Fifteen percent and that’s final,” Bowsette said, crossing her arms. “Your task is to help us go around the world and contact all of my-- all of Bowser’s old lieutenants. His generals and commanders and old allies.”

“Ah, we’re handing out the call. Telling them to gather. Gonna build an army.”

“That’s about right,” Bowsette said. “As many as we can reach. I’m talking Tutankoopa, Petey Piranha, Big Montgomery, Porcupuffer... Anyone. Heck, bring us Chef Torte and we’ll accept him.”

“Understood. I’ll grab them, bag them, send them over. Express shipping.”

“Thank you, Nabbit,” Peach said. “And if you end up nabbing anything of material value... you can keep it for yourself. It’s all yours.”

“Already done.” Nabbit held Peach’s Blue Shell power-up in his hands. She definitely wasn't getting that back.

Nabbit hopped out of the booth and dashed away without another word.

He was a trustworthy ally, but... untrustworthy at the exact same time. The ultimate enigma. He’d get the job done, but the wonder was whether he actually heard the instructions correctly.

Speaking of trustworthy...

Bowsette looked to her side at Boom Boom.

“So...” she said.

“So.” Boom Boom closed his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, you know Boom Boom. He’s getting out of here. He’s happy to be out of prison, but... he can’t go on with this plan.”

“Bowing out halfway through, like usual,” Bowsette grumbled. 

“Boom Boom’s very sorry. He’ll be watching you from the sidelines, cheering you on. Is that okay?”

“Whatever.”

“Sorry.” Boom Boom removed his arm from the booth. He got up, did a little bow as he always did, and walked out of the restaurant.

Bowsette cried a little bit again. This new sensation of not having to hold back her emotions... it kind of made her feel good. But it gave her that ugly crying face everyone always complained about.

In response, Peach moved to the other side of the booth and put her arms around her. “It’ll be okay, Bowsette...”

“It’s never okay... Boom Boom always does this. Why can’t he just stick with it? Why doesn’t he believe in us?”

“We can still save the world. You and me.”

Peach and Bowsette... Bowsette blushed and pushed Peach away. “Sorry,” she said when she realized what she had done. “You’re right. We need to figure out out plan and make sure to follow through perfectly.”

“Right.” Peach pulled out a whole notebook from her pocket, which didn’t seem possible but she still did it. “So I’ve sketched out all the things we need to do so far,” she begins. “First things first, and this is major, we need to get your magic back.”

“Yeah, that’s... important,” Bowsette said. Not being able to harness the very thing that allowed her to defeat Morton Koopa last time was a major downgrade. “But.. how?”

“Well, I’m still working on that, but I imagine we might be able to... well, bargain with the Mushroom Soul specter that took your powers in the first place.”

“Bargain with an ephemeral, unthinking beast?”

“Somehow.”

“Okay. And then we have to gather all the Generals, of course,” Bowsette said.

“And we’ll approach it like this: we’ll take a map, go East to West, North to South across the continent, trying to find every single former ally of yours that you think will be useful. You can go through this later and fill it in so we can plan a route better.”

“If I even know where King Boo is these days...”

“And I think it might be useful to go to a few other places around the world, if you know what I mean...”

“I am NOT asking K.Rool for help.” Bowsette shook her head with great ferocity.

Peach shrugged. “Just a thought.”

“Will we have the Mushroom Kingdom at our disposal?” Bowsette asked.

“Actually... right now we’re going through a kind of tough time,” Peach admitted. “A lot of areas are trying to secede, and our armies are currently occupied with... keeping the peace. It’s... all your fault.”

Bowsette took the blame with more pride than she should have.

“Well then, I guess we’ll have to rely on my people only,” Bowsette said. “If we amass a force we can invade, and the people will quickly turn on Morton. As long as he hasn’t returned to his full form we will be able to overwhelm him. Though... some magical device to seal him away forever would be nice.”

“It certainly would... Were you serious about the Firestone Amulet being destroyed?”

“Yes. Shattered into a million pieces, carried into the wind and out to sea. It can never be reformed again. And I spent years assembling it in the Kalimari Desert. My crowning achievement. It’s... a metaphor for my life, isn’t it?” Bowsette began to cry again.

“Oh, Bowsette...”

They had a whole lot of planning left to do. With Nabbit on his way to accomplishing, uh, something, and Boom Boom once again abandoning his friends, the brunt of the burden laid on these two women. It was up to them to save the Earth from destruction by Morton Koopa.

That was going to require Bowsette to stop crying, though.


	32. Chapter 32: Her Own Bed

#  Chapter 32: Her Own Bed

There was no parade, no hero’s welcome when Peach and Bowsette returned to the Mushroom Kingdom and came back to Peach’s Castle. Bowsette was okay with that.

Instead, when they arrived, they did so in secret, taking one of Peach’s personal underground trains to a back entrance of the castle. Bowsette had no idea this existed, so it must have been a recent addition to the Royal House Toadstool’s defensive infrastructure. She wondered why such a structure was built...

It was nice to be entering a secluded part of the castle without also being kidnapped by Koopatrol guards when doing so. The past few weeks had been tumultuous for Bowsette, and she most certainly did not want to relive that all over again. That today was relatively peaceful was an absolute boon.

However, two Toads, ones Bowsette couldn’t really recognize because she was not the best at telling Toads apart, gasped in terror as they saw the two women marching into the otherwise-quiet foyer. Both had mustaches.

“Princess! Where have you been!” the one with the brown cap shouted before running up to her. Bowsette jumped in front of her and flashed her fangs in case he was a secret attacker. You never knew with these Toads.

He stopped and almost had the spirit jump out of him with fear.

Peach pushed Bowsette out of the way. “I left on a secret mission, and I couldn’t tell you about it. I’m very sorry. Forgive me, Toadsworth.”

“Oh, well, that’s, uh...” the Toad tried to gather the words to actually say something, but didn’t seem able to.

The green-capped one behind him, though, pointed at Bowsette and yelled, “What is HE doing here?”

“Kakakakaka,” Bowsette laughed. She extended her claws. “My name is Bowsette, Lordess of the Dark Realms, Heiress Apparent to the Destiny of the Deities. Try that statement again.”

“I officially pardoned Bowsette for all the crimes she committed,” Peach said. “And as absolute ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, Chancellor, I hope that you will understand that these such rulings are final and incontrovertible.”

“B-b-but, Princess...” the brown-capped Toad stuttered. “Why would you ever let this... being back into the castle like this? Surely you are not well...”

“I am well enough,” Peach said, striking a much more formal tone all of a sudden. “You will provide for her a permanent room close to mine, and all the finest ameneties the castle has to offer. Is that understood?”

Both of the Toads nodded.

“Very well. Then I shall go freshen up. I have not showered in weeks and wish to bathe. Bowsette, I trust that you desire one as well?”

...

...

“Oh, yeah, me too,” Bowsette saiid. “Definitely. I need a bath.”

“Very well,” Peach said. “Toadsworth, please send for our handmaidens to fill up bathwater in each of our tubs.”

...

Darn it.

Oh well. Bowsette followed some handmaidens up the stairs and down the hall to an unassuming door. She opened it and found, well, an unassuming bedroom. It was cute and pink but with not much personality to it, no sense that anyone had ever much lived in here. It was likely that few ever had. That was the thing with castles like these; most of its spaces were sadly unoccupied for its entire existence.

But even so, Bowsette laid down on the bed and felt her back nearly evaporate as she sank into the memory foam.

This felt amazing.

Not just getting a good rest for the first time since escaping from Dark Land, but just... being here, like this.

In the Mushroom Kingdom, but not as an enemy. 

In the body of Bowsette, but not hated.

With Princess Peach, but not kidnapping her or fighting her.

For the first time in a long time, she could spread her arms and legs out like she was making a snow angel and simply lay like this without fear of being attacked at any given moment.

Wow...

She was Bowsette. Not Bowser or King Koopa or anything else. She was Bowsette, a woman, and one who at the moment felt a level of contentedness that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. She could finally accept herself, at least to this degree.

Bowsette drifted off to sleep.


	33. Chapter 33: Gang's All Here

#  Chapter 33: The Gang’s All Here

Peach paced back and forth in front of a blackboard with many notes and sketches scribbled out on it. 

She stood before a small group, an elite team that would carry out the tasks before them. They were Mario, Luigi, Captain Toad, Archivist Toadette, and Goombella, who had recently returned from an excavation trip in Subcon. Toadette and Goombella were busy trading theories while Luigi and Captain Toad argued about the scariest ghosts they had ever seen. Mario simply stared at the other person in the room, sitting noticeably to the side of the four... Bowsette. It was clear to Peach that Mario was not accepting whatsoever of these recent developments, and having to be in the same room as her was disconcerting to him.

It had taken a while to explain everything to even Peach’s closest friends, and she knew it would be even more difficult in the inevitability that Bowsette’s residence in the castle became public. So she had been practicing her explaining skills on them first. Bowsette was a cruel dictator, the despotic ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom’s worst geopolitical enemy, a woman who had plunged both kingdoms into chaos with rebellions and secessions and uproar. But she deserved a chance to redeem herself. It wasn’t just a confusing mix of pity and anger that Peach felt anymore. She genuinely cared about Bowsette and wanted to fix whatever was broken inside of her.

Which, for the time being, meant literally fixing what was broken inside of her, as in her magic that had been sealed away by the Mushroom Soul that Mario unleashed a few months prior.

Toad, Toadette, and Luigi were reluctant to accept Bowsette into the fold, but they seemed to be warming up to her presence a little bit. Goombella treated it as if it were no event at all, which was almost stranger considering Goombella was originally from Bowser’s Kingdom where Bowsette had previously ruled with an iron fist. Mario, though, was his usual aloof self.

No matter. He’d get over it.

“Our first phase of the plan to save the Earth is to bring back Bowsette’s magic powers,” Peach said, taking out a pointy stick thing and tapping it against the blackboard. “She was the one who defeated Morton Koopa, her biological father, all those years ago, so without her power we don’t have a chance.”

Captain Toad politely raised his hand. 

“Yes, Toad?” she asked.

“This is a bunch of Moo Moo crap! Why can’t we defeat him all on our own? We’ve got the Mario Brothers on our side!” He gestured over to the two superheroes of the Mushroom Kingdom. “They never lose! Not when the Shroobs attacked, not when the X-Nauts invaded, not when Bomberman and Wario started blowing up the planet together. They stopped the bad guys every time!”

Luigi took it in stride, and Mario lowered his cap like a cowboy.

“But this time is... a little bit different,” Peach said. “Morton Koopa is unlike anything we’ve faced before.”

“Even the Shadow Queen?” Captain Toad asked. “Even Bowser-- Bowsette’s Galaxy Reactor? Even Culex?!”

“Yeah,” Bowsette chimed in. “I faced him myself. See, unlike any of you, I actually beat him, decades ago. I was at my full strength, with six Generals and my first wife by my side and the Firestone Amulet that gave me immense strength for one moment only. No, it is no longer with us. Sorry. We don’t have any new special items to search for this time. There aren’t any secret devices that will allow us to defeat him. We just have to stop him before he can figure out a way to revive his true form, or else we’re all goners.”

“So first things first, we need to figure out how to get Bowsette’s powers back. We might have a fighting chance then,” Peach said.

“And when she gets them back we’re... still going to help?” Toadette asked meekly.

“Um, yes,” Peach said. She realized what the others were probably thinking: why would they trust their lives with a bonafide villain, one with newly-minted magical abilities that will allow her to take over the Mushroom Kingdom all over again if she pleases? “I trust her, and so should you.”

Bowsette closed her eyes and smirked.

“We can restore her magic if we... well, figure out how to negotiate with the Mushroom Soul. Ever since Mario unleashed it, it has been wandering the Toadwood Forest, floating around as if it were guarding something. But we have no idea how to communicate with it, much less figure out how, or even IF it could unseal her.”

“I’ll do it,” Luigi said. “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts!

“So... the real question is... does anyone know where the Great Wizard Merlon may be?” Peach asked. “He’s the only one I know of who would be powerful enough to do it. But ever since he exiled himself from the Mushroom Kingdom...”

“Oh, I know that!” Goombella shouted. “I actually heard a story about Merlon hiding out near one of the entrances to Subcon when my party was returning. He’s holed himself up in some small hut near the ocean somewhere out in the West, but nobody has been able to get anywhere near him because of all the barriers he has set up.”

“Then... that’s where we’ll have to go,” Peach said.

Peach looked once more at Bowsette, who was very excited to begin another adventure so soon, especially one that would directly help her out. The others didn’t trust her at all, but Peach knew in her heart that this was all going to work out. Well... mostly.


	34. Chapter 34: Game Guy

#  Chapter 34: Game Guy

This was bad.

This was not an appropriate course of action, and Toadsworth could not stand at all that he was doing this. But the Chancellor had threatened his position, his granddaughters’ enrollments at the Toad Academy, his pension... and he knew he could make it all happen if he wanted.

Even if this was the worst thing he ever did in his life, he went along with it anyway. Despicable or not. It would be his burden to bear.

“Is this really the only way?” he asked the Chancellor. They were in a nondescript location in the Creepy Cavern, searching for a Shy Guy-like insignia on the ground. If they could just touch it, then... they would find their way.

“It is,” the Chancellor answered. “Aha. Here we go.”

They found it... the entrance to Game Guy’s Palace. A quick warp later, and they were in the middle of a vast mansion filled with all sorts of gambling machines and strange modernist artwork, but no denizens. No denizens except for Game Guy himself, standing at the top of a stairway and looking down at the two Toads below him. He hopped down a few times and then straightened his bowtie.

“I knew you’d see me eventually,” he said. “It’s been a long year for the Mushroom Kingdom, hasn’t it?”

“It has indeed,” the Chancellor said. “I haven’t had to see you for a very long time. I do not enjoy it.”

“Well, I have to say that I do,” Game Guy said.

By day, a friendly game show host and purveyor of a casino district in Shy Guy’s Shuffle City, and by night a financier of rebellion, insurrection, and mayhem throughout the continent. Toadsworth himself knew that Shy Guy’s Toy Box had most likely been completely funded by Game Guy, and reports that General Guy was leading some sort of resistance movement in Dark Land seemed to match his modus operandi. But it was also likely that the current secession movements throughout the Mushroom Kingdom had much in the way of blame to fall squarely in his arms.

Why did he do it? He was not a profiteer like that rat Lumpy, who had essentially taken over the entire Dry Dry Desert with his cash. He wasn’t making any money off any of this chaos; in fact, the more war, the less money there was for people to spend at his casinos.

Toadsworth suspected, underneath that expressionless mask, he may very well simply have been a monster.

“So, do you want me to stop my resource flow towards impeding your stability efforts?” Game Guy asked. “I’ll do it, free of charge, if you invade the Bean Bean Kingdom again. Just a little war.”

“No, actually... we want you to increase your efforts,” the Chancellor said.

Toadsworth eyes drooped at this. He could hardly bear to hear his own complicity in this disastrous line of thought.

“Ah, I see,” Game guy said. “You want to create a revolt. You want House Toadstool to fall so that House.... Whatever your surname is, can rise.”

“Precisely. It is for the good of our nation. In a hundred years, we will be more prosperous than ever. Even if in five years we are still in a realm of disarray, the future is what really matters.”

“Right.” Game Guy pondered this for a few moments. “I know exactly what do do. Toad-Koopa tensions are at an all-time high. Bowser’s escaped and on the loose. Maybe some Spikes could make a ruckus about trying to unite and reclaim Spike’s Lost City. Perhaps Shiver City and Starborn Valley could become embroiled in a conflict? All are very good options.” Bowser wasn’t actually loose, but Game Guy most certainly didn’t need to know about that right now. That was not to their tactical advantage; even Toadsworth could recognize that.

“All I want to know is if the Princess will survive it.”

“Give me exclusive casino rights in Shroom City and she sure as Triple Pie won’t. She’ll be getting Game Guy’s Sweet Surprise.”

“Deal.”

They shook hands. Toadsworth wanted to die. But instead he remained silent.


	35. Chapter 35: An Awkward Luncheon

#  Chapter 35: An Awkward Luncheon

Yes, it was a luncheon in the Luncheon Kingdom. Bowsette was enthralled by the scalding-hot baking seas around them, keeping the weather fiery and everyone sweating, but the whole scene was still crazy. A dozen princesses and queens and other female royals from all over the world were gathered here to eat together and gossip about everything.

Bowsette was not even a real subject of the conversation; while Daisy took a few moments to adjust to the fact that the girl who kicked her butt a few months ago was now going to be eating with her, the rest didn’t even seem to care. She guessed they just had more important things to worry about, then. Even Princess Shokora, a half-ghost who hadn’t been in civilization for eons, was here and paying no mind to her existence.

This was a much less tense situation than the meeting with the Mario Bros. earlier this week!

Speaking of them, they were still preparing everything for the trip tomorrow. The trip was going to be tough and seeing how powerful Merlon was, if he had really wanted to escape from the rest of the world, it was not going to be easy to get through whatever barriers he had placed. They had done some more research and discovered that the hut Goombella was referring to was likely at the Quiver Cliffs, far to the West past even Diamond City. Getting there was not that difficult, bt surviving may have been.

So to spend the time, Peach decided to... introducer her newest... friend... to all her fellow royals.

Gourmet Guy was here personally catering everything for them, and the food was delicious. Bowsette had never had cake this good before! Seriously!

But... she still felt extremely awkward about being here, like this, with these women.

From the people she recognized, there were a lot of celebrities here at the table:

  * Princess Peach, of course, sitting next to Bowsetter, their chairs so close that their shoulders were touching.
  * Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, sporty and flames in her eyes almost eternally.
  * Princess Shokora, a Royal Without a Land. Nobody was quite sure where she came from, but it was clear she was just the same as the rest of them, so she was apparently accepted as a member of the crew.
  * Princess Eclair of the Waffle Kingdom, a plain but delightfully tasty-looking woman made of the energy of pastries.
  * Honey Queen, a giant bee from all the way over in the Honeybloom Galaxy, taking up an extremely large portion of the luncheon table that shook every time she went “Tee-hee!”
  * Queen Merelda, a denizen of the mysterious Shake Dimension and unusually sprightly. Bowsette didn’t know much about her.
  * Holly Mackerel, a mermaid with extremely beautiful scales, but because of her gills she was forced to sit there in a water tank and watch while the others ate.
  * Emi, a violet-haired former pro tennis player who had recently married Prince Peasley of the Beanbean Kingdom and entered into the Royal Family there.
  * And finally, Lady Bow, the daughter of King Boo who openly rebelled against her father’s villainous nature. She was regal and refined, but extremely prone to slapping. She, too, was not eating, but only because ghosts didn’t eat.



Everyone here was fun and having a good time, but...

Bowsette was weary of all of this.

For all the strength and energy in her spirit, her determination to succeed where she had failed so many times before, she still felt... sad. Sad like she was a fake among all these real girls, that underneath this crown she was just another ugly giant lizard. Sad like these real girls had made the world a better place, and Bowsette had only ruined it due to her own greed and ignorance.

Peach, sitting next to her still and eating a piece of chocolate souffle, noticed Bowsette’s dour emotions. Without a word, she slipped her free hand down under the table and grabbed Bowsette’s own hand.

Bowsette blushed briefly, but when nobody else seemed to notice, it was all okay. She felt something very warm inside of her, like as if the fire in her blood was going to suddenly roar back to life and she could shoot flames into the air with ease. But instead, it just set her heart ablaze, making it flutter like a kite in a hurricane.

With all the effort she could make, she was going to fix all the mistakes she had caused in her life. She already knew that. But what she still wasn’t sure about was the reason WHY. And while she came no closer at this luncheon, she still had a good time with all these princesses and queens and ladies consort and the like.

Maybe she could become one of them after all.


	36. Chapter 36: Off to See the Wizard

#  Chapter 36: Off to See the Wizard

The group was all here again, with all their travel gear packed and a specific route to take to reach the Quiver Cliffs as fast as possible. They could take a warp pipe as far as the western edge of Goomba Village, but from there it would take a while to get through the Sugar Loaf Mountain and then further skirting the northern border of Dark Land itself. That was sure to be dangerous.

“If we have time, I’d love to stop by World 4 and see the Giant Land King,” Peach said. “I haven’t met him in a very long time.”

“No time for that,” Mario said.

“He’s right,” Bowsette said. “Right now my kids are fighting for their lives trying to keep Morton Koopa from taking an iron grip over the kingdom. We’ve wasted enough time already.”

Bowsette should have done all this on her own, anyway. It was stupid of her to rely on all these people that she had fought as enemies just a few months prior, and for many years before that. Mario Mario, Luigi Mario, Peach Toadstool, Toad and Toadette, Goombella... Okay she didn’t know Goombella very well at all, but she was very smart and cute, and had apparently been a loyal subject of Lava World for many years. So, she kinda like her. The rest, though, were her sworn enemies! She couldn’t believe they were actually helping, because she knew she wouldn’t have been able to do the same if the tables were turned in her favor.

Peach looked at her with a questioning glance. Yeah, yeah, Bowsette was a moody jerk, we all knew that already, okay, you can stop looking now. Geez.

...She... was pretty thankful for the help, okay? Not that she would ever SAY that. 

“We will begin our journey, as always, through World 1-1,” Peach told all of them. “We’ll say hello to the families there, and then we’ll go into the World 1-2 sewers to take the Warp Pipes as far West as we can go.”

“This is fun! I’m ready for adventure!” Goombella shouted.

Captain Toad grinned at her and saluted. “If you’re looking for adventure, then you’ve travelled with the right Toad! Let’s go!”

Toadette glared at Toad. 

Okay, it was time for the adventure to begin. Bowsette included, in this very weird, very different situation. She was not ready for it at all, but... she really did want to get her powers back, so... “Let’s do this,” she said.


	37. Chapter 37: Dojo

#  Chapter 37: Dojo

Gotta go fast.

Gotta grab it. Bag it. Nabbit.

Time to enter the dojo. Dojo’s empty. No wait it’s not. Two dozen Ninjis jumping out. Kung Fu Koopa attacking. Dodging’s hard! But fun!

Nabbit likes stealing. Yep that’s fun. Got a wallet. Some coins. Oops took the whole bed sheet cover off some Duplighost’s face.

Not a pretty sight.

Okay, let’s jump. Over and around. Through and through. Weave and dribble. Whoops that’s a Dry Bones head.

“What are you doing here?!” a commanding voice shouted.

Hey, here’s the guy. Love the guy. Came here just for the guy. Gotta nab his hat though. That’s not a hat. Sorry. Didn't mean to bother you. Okay, not true. This may have been a mistake.

“Hey, want to join an army? Bowser’s Army? Or something like that? I didn’t ask the details. Bowser’s a girl now. Something like that. Needs you to help stop an evil villain.”

“Who? What? Who ARE you?”

“Nabbit. Have it? You had it. I have it. I got it. You got it?”

“....No???”

People kept attacking Nabbit. That’s okay. Nabbit’s fast. Nabbit’s too fast. Nabbit’s got this.

“I got told this. I’m telling you.” Nabbit nodded in complete seriousness. Swung his bag around. Hit some Ninji down. “Morton Koopa. Some guy. He’s back. should be not back. You gotta help.”

“Uh... Oh. Well then. Actually, can we... sit down and talk about this?”

“Sure thing. I like to sit. Sitting’s fun. Can’t do it forever though. Gotta move. Gotta go fast. You know what they say. All toasters toast toast.”

Hand on Nabbit’s shoulder. Okay then. A little frisky. Nabbit’s okay with that.

“I just need you to explain. What are you talking about?”

“I’ll tell you right up, Master Flutter. I’ll tell it all to you.”


	38. Chapter 38: Crush

#  Chapter 38: Crush

“Oh, Mario... hehehe... Stop it. Stoooooop it... hehehehe! Mario...”

Ughhhhhh....

Mario and Goombella were laying in the tent next to Bowsette and Peach, and were absolutely not shutting up with their cutesy romantic banter. Bowsette knew Mario had a way with women, but he was something beyond comprehension.

Knowing the power of his charm, Bowsette had to make extra sure to keep her Super Crown securely fastened to her head in case anyone were to try to steal it for... certain endeavors.. 

Okay, that was a joke, but Bowsette really didn’t know the full extent of this power-up working its magic on her. It didn’t seem like the crown was really attached to her head so much as it was a part of her head; no matter what position of gravity it was in, it didn’t fall off. Could anyone even physically remove the crown from the outside? Could she even do it herself? She’d never actually tried. Maybe it acted more like a curse, sealing your spirit permanently in this form. Which would honestly have been the best thing to ever happen to her... aside from the fact that the Mushroom Soul deactivated her original crown and led to... all the other stuff that happened earlier. This was a series of experimental mysteries she really hadn't even stopped to conceive of until now. 

Why did the Super Crown even exist? There were apparently multitudes of them hidden away in the Royal Treasury, but to what end? What powers did they even have except to make you a human-esque female and somewhat princess-like in appearance, and its main purpose was to help those who wanted to embrace their feminine feelings? Was there a Super Crown equivalent for those who felt like a boy on the inside but not on the outside? 

She looked over to Peach, who was asleep in her own sleeping bag, hair sprawled out across the floor. Her crown was not on, which at least ruled out for Bowsette the possibility that Super Crowns existed for the entire Royal Family and that Peach was secretly a four-foot-tall Toad otherwise. That would have been a funny twist, but no, she was just a beautiful human naturally, it appeared.

Man... Bowsette was just inches away from Peach’s face. If they weren’t both in separate sleeping bags right now, they would be close enough to hold hands again... Bowsette knew Peach had only done that to cheer her up at that uncomfortable luncheon the other day, but it still made her all steamy and blushing when she thought about it. 

She had kidnapped and tried to marry Peach so many times out of this stupid sense that she was the perfect royalty and that her looks meant all, but they just hadn’t really gotten to know each other that well up until recently. At least Bowsette learning more about Peach. She wasn’t sure if the reverse was happening at all, because of how incredibly aloof she was all the time about not talking about her past except in her own head.

No way was Bowsette ever telling Peach about her first wife. Not if it meant the end of the world. And it could, seeing as how crucial a piece of the revolution she was. And her second wife... Well, that one was pretty easy to explain away. It was a stupid impulsive fling with an older Koopa, a reporter for the Koopa Kronicle who weasled her way into her life and left her all alone with Bowser Jr. It lasted all of a year and disappeared in a wisp. She was never going to live that one down, that’s for sure. 

But the more she gazed at Peach, the more she realized how much she reminded her of those other two women. Well, at least one of the two. 

Bowsette actually had a crush on Princess Peach now. What a crazy twist of fate this was.

She could still hear Goombella giggling as she told stories about her trip to Subcon with a bit of slurring in her voice. Sounds like those two had a few too many Penguin Proofs. Bowsette could really have used a drink to force herself asleep, that was for sure...


	39. Chapter 39: Merlon on the Cliff by the Sea

#  Chapter 39: Merlon on the Cliff by the Sea

They had spent two whole DAYS wandering around in the Forest Maze. Without Geno around to be their guide, that was a VERY STUPID idea to go in there. Not a shortcut at all. Bowsette very nearly felt remorse for burning down that doll several months ago, but he was also really powerful and trying to kill her, so she felt justified about it. Yep. Definitely.

But now they were finally near the western edge of the continent, and had reached the Quiver Cliffs after all. 

Everyone was very tired. Aside from eternally-peppy Goombella, all seven of them looked like the energy had been completely drained from their bodies. 

“Princess... I can’t walk any further...” toadette whined. “Too much adventure... for me...”

“We’re almost there,” said Peach. “Almost there...” She carried such a big pack on her back that it was pretty conceivable that she was the strongest one of the bunch; that bag carried a full five changes of clothing and was probably heavier on her back than Bowsette’s own shell. How did she do it?

Captain Toad pulled out a map, trying to pinpoint exactly where they were in relation to the spot where Merlon’s hut most likely laid. “Hmm... this thing is hard to read,” he said. “Are you SURE we’re in the right place?”

“Umm...” Toadette tapped him on the shoulder and pointed straight ahead, up a hill where there was a small hut, shrouded in an aura of magic.

“Oh. Yeah. I guess we are sure.”

Luigi began to shake and shiver, living up to this place's name as he quivered.

They ventured onwards, up the hill and as they approached, the area around them got darker and darker, more and more hazy, almost like they were entering an alternate dimension. Spooky stuff.

Suddenly, Merlon appeared in front of them as a large disembodied head glaring down at them. “INTRUDERS. STATE YOUR BUSINESS."

“It’s-a me, Mario,” said Mario.

“And it is I, Princess Peach, Royal Monarch of the Mushroom Kingdom, the Great Priestess of the Toadstool Way.” Now THAT was a royal title Bowsette could approve of. “We have come to seek your help, to call you back--”

“ENOUGH. I HAVE HEARD ENOUGH. I DO NOT WISH TO CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION.”

Geez.

“Please!” Toadette shouted. “We’ve travelled for four days to reach you, and we need a place to rest! Will you please... let us... stay with you for just a bit?”

“NO.”

“Come on...”

Luigi got down on his hands and knees bowing. Apparently that piqued Merlon’s perverse interest, because he seemed to change his tune somewhat. “YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. I’LL LET YOU ENTER MY RESIDENCE... IF YOU CAN PASS MY TESTS. THE THREE TRIALS OF THE MAGICMANCER.”

“We’ll be up for anything you can throw at us,” said Captain Toad.

“OH, BUT WILL YOU BE UP FOR THIS?” Before them appeared a large lion with the face of a Koopa and colored in metallic blue, green, and red. “OR THIS?” A large pit of spikes formed. “OR HOW ABOUT THIS ONE?” A giant book thudded onto the ground. Its title read “A Thousand and One Bad Jokes: Unabridged and Uncut.”

“IF YOU SURVIVE MY TRIALS OF STRENGTH, SKILL, AND ENDURANCE... YOU WILL BE WELCOME. BUT IT MAY COME AT A GREAT COST. HEED CAUTION BEFORE--”

Bowsette stuck her fist at the air and screamed, “C’mon Merlon! Bowsette’s here to see you and if you don’t let us in right now I’m gonna personally walk over and clobber you!”

“OH. OH MY. UM, YES. PLEASE DO COME IN.”

“See? I’m learning a whole lot about peaceful negotiations from my girl Peach over here,” Bowsette said. Peach blushed and laughed, but the others were a little bit put off.

The dark aura around the hut dissipated, and the seven of them were allowed to walk to the door and knock on it.

A head popped out. Merlon, again. “Who is it?” he asked.

“Me and them,” said Bowsette.

“Oh, uh... Yes, come right on in!”

***

“Absolutely impossible,” said Merlon. “A... Mushroom Soul? What IS that? Mario, where did you find such a thing?”

Mario shrugged. “It was an adventure.”

“If it is an ethereal being of cloud and smoke, one that can seal away magical energies... then...” Merlon began rummaging through some books, opening up a bestiary of sorts. “And you found this not in the Beanbean Kingdom, correct? Hmmm...”

Merlon’s hut was much more spacious on the inside, Bowsette realized. While it looked like it was barely enough room for one person to sleep on the outside, this hut actually had four or five separate rooms, and a full kitchen. It looked fairly similar to his house back in Toad Town, but with more portraits up on the wall and warmer colors in the interior design. In fact, there was a picture up on the wall next to where Merlon was standing with a large family photo of all of Merlon’s wizardly brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, and ancestors, either in flesh or in spirit. There were enough of them that, had they each the same power that Merlon possessed, they could easily conquer the planet if they wished. Bowsette took great note of that in the event that she decided to take over the Earth one day.

“Mario,” Merlon said. “You fought in the war in your younger years, yes? The Kremean War, that is. Of course you did, my apologies. You and your ‘Mario’s Bombs Away’ endeavors, I forgot...” He stopped on one page in the book and showed it to everyone else. It was a large lanky monster in the shape of a humanoid, but with ghostly features. “If you remember the War, then you surely remember these. The Shroobites. Mad Scienstein had created these creatures on his own using the DNA of some long-lost alien species, and they wreaked havoc on the battlefield, tossing Kremlings aside like it was nothing and... Well, surely you remember.”

Mario nodded.

“But they were defeated.” Merlon flipped the page. “Their very essences were wiped out by a magic spell after the war, one of the design of my relative Merlyia. They had grown too powerful, so she eradicated them to keep the balance of power steady. You seem to have unleashed that essence back onto the world, Mario.”

“Uh oh,” Luigi gasped.

Mario shrugged.

“So what you’re saying is, half of my soul is trapped inside some giant demon monster?” Bowsette asked.

“Precisely that, yes,” Merlon said. As he said this, though, his eyes caught wind of Bowsette’s ever-shapely figure and began to stare with no shame whatsoever. He only averted his gaze once she audibly growled at him. 

Toadette covered her eyes. “I don’t wanna do this anymore!”

“That’s okay,” Merlon said. “It would not be possible anyway. The Mushroom Soul is of a level of being that would be too much for even myself to communicate with.”

“And there is no other way to restore her?” Peach asked. “We have come all this way, and...”

“None. Bowsette is a husk of her former self and will remain that way for the rest of her life.”

Bowsette tensed up at this. She... she really was doomed? Her ultimate failure wasn’t something she could fix with determination and willpower, but something fundamentally, permanently erased within her, a handicap that would forever hinder her? 

Something was just about to break within Bowsette, make her do something drastic like throwing furniture across the room or going into her shell and never coming back out even if people asked very nicely, when she realized something--

That bestiary Merlon was holding.

On the book’s spine, it was “Creatures of Might and Magic,” and in a smaller font, it read, “Written by the Wizard Merlon.”

This lying cheat!

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up to eye level where she could yell at him up close. “You ain’t getting away with this so easy, wizard!” she shouted. “The Mushroom Soul ain’t some special evil demon. You know good and well you can fix this yourself, don’t you?!”

Merlon was scared stiff. Literally, he was petrified and caught in stasis.

“Let him down,” Peach commanded. Bowsette complied and set him back on his feet.

When Merlon came to, he launched into an accusatory attack of his own, but looking directly at the princess. “You can’t be serious about this, Princess. Please, reconsider,” he pleaded. “This woman is more powerful than you could possibly imagine. I have viewed her magical essence. The Mushroom Soul isn’t even comparable to the horrors you might unleash if you--”

Peach slapped him. “Bowsette is the only being standing between the Earth and Morton Koopa beginning another reign of terror. We have to stop him before he revives himself, and there’s only one way to do that. To trust the one who defeated him before to do it again.”

“P...P-princess...” Merlon looked away in shame. “I am unwelcome in the Mushroom Kingdom. The acts that Bowsette compelled upon me... the pain I caused...”

“I don’t care what you did in the past. I don’t care what she did in the past, either. I care what we can accomplish in the future.”

Peach really was a benevolent ruler. Bowsette would have executed Merlon for lying like that.

“I’ll go with you and communicate with the Mushroom Soul,” Merlon said. “It has been done before, when we originally sealed it away into the pieces Mario collected. But if it unseals Bowsette’s power, then we will have to face the consequences. And they will be instant.”

Dang, that was pretty indicting. What the heck did Bowsette do to him besides beat him up and turn him into a powerless bureaucrat who took the brunt of public blame for her careless foreign policy decisions?

“We’ll lead the way,” said Peach, with a soft smile.

That seemed to cheer him up a little bit.

Though he was a lot more interested in looking Bowsette’s way. She covered herself with her hands and scowled.

Merlon must have seen the same exact vision Bowsette was shown back all that time ago when he had first captured her in Toad Town. He knew even back then that Bowsette was a Koopa Royal, and yet he did nothing about it. That was heartening to know that he accepted her in this form, but it made her wonder what he knew that she didn’t. 

Bowsette’s own knowledge of her family history was that eons ago, a celestial dragon came from the stars to grace the Earth with its presence, and in that time it found love with none other than a Koopa. Over the next thousand generations the Royal Family descended from that original love, the original purity of the celestial blood thinning out every generation but always remaining strong. Now, it was nearly gone, and marrying commoners with no significant power like Bowsette did was helping end the line entirely. Morton himself seemed to suggest that only Bowsette or Morton Jr. even had the celestial blood content necessary to bring him back to life, and that the other Koopalings were too far gone to be of any use.

She DID have dozens of clones of herself in the form of the Koopa Kids but she kind of forgot about them. Theoretically they’d have the exact same amount of celestial blood, but there was probably some loophole around that that made them useless, just as they were useless in everyday life at accomplishing much of anything.

Merlon, though, seemed to know more about all of this than he let on. Back when he had captured her, he did ask, “Did you even know that inside of you glows the heart of True Royalty?” and then added, “Probably not. Your kind was always ignorant to your own capabilities.” 

Whatever he meant, he was adamant and stern in his warnings against Bowsette regaining her power. The fact that she was a bit of a notorious villain probably didn’t help, but there was something he wasn’t telling, and she was going to figure that out.


	40. Chapter 40: Deep in Toadwood Forest

Chapter 40: Deep in the Toadwood Forest

Merlon had been around a very long time. Not only was it that he had grandchildren who were grown, or that he had great-grandchildren that were nearly grown. That was merely the passage of the generations and happened naturally, whether he was there or not. What marked his age was that when he looked at these people around him, he felt a marked difference between their experiences and his own.

They had been the survivors of the wars and struggles of their generations, but they knew not of how the world had shaped itself to become the way it now was. They were sucked up in the War in Blankland, but they were not aware of how a hundred years prior a battle between the Mushroom Genie and Mushroom Jeanie had created Blankland in the first place.

Bowsette, in particular, was ignorant to the forces that led her life into what it was today. Morton Koopa's thousand-year reign over Dark Land ended by one of his unwanted children, left for dead but raised by a Magikoopa Morton had cast out for his failures a decade prior. And thanks to that upbringing, Morton's youngest became Morton's strongest, a magician powerful enough to overthrow him where none others ever could.

It was all about cause-and-effect. The pathways that the past took to create the present.

And Merlon felt in a large way that their trip into the Toadwood Forest on this otherwise-sunny afternoon was one of these pathways that would diverge their world into something they had not before seen.

This was not a good decision. But it was the only one, perhaps.

The trees here were vibrant and green, but not too thick that the sun didn't come peeking out from over the canopy. It would be a nice place for a picnic. But instead they were about to make a deal with a magical being that had the power to seal Merlon's very core of power, if it wished.

No, it wasn't a demon, but it may have been worse. At least demons were actively malicious.

"I just... want... to rest..." The pink toad, the female, was a constant source of dismay form their party of eight, complaining wherever they went. Seeing as she seemed to possess no combat or navigational skills, it was unclear why she even accompanied the rest of these people. Could it be that she was genuinely a friend and wanted to help? The thought seemed preposterous, but Merlon learned never to underestimate the Mario Bros. and their odd ways.

"We're just a little bit further," Captain Toad said. "I can feel it!"

"We'd better be..." Bowsette muttered.

Merlon did not dislike being around such an attractive lady, but he found the entire predicament quite interesting. That King Koopa, Wonder to the World, Volcano's Ferocity, would have stumbled upon a simple power-up and discovered a hidden identity boiling inside of her all her life that she had never unlocked. The Super Crown was most definitely not intended for the purpose of helping one embrace one's own female gender, and there were not many of them simply out there for the taking like this, either.

The cause-and-effect that Bowsette would come to even exist... was exactly why the Earth had entered the dire state that it was currently in. Without the Super Crown, the Mushroom Kingdom would still be stable. Dry Morton would never have existed. But Bowsette would still be a depressive world leader, and Peach's new aura of determined spirit would not be as such.

He truly had been around for a very long time, hadn't he?

His magic could not predict the future. He often made it seem so, and his hobby as an oracle had been a secondary source of income for him for centuries. What it could do was allow him to see the facets of the past that had led to create the current moment, and through that he could gauge a more full understanding of what the correct action to take was. It was messy and often inaccurate, but Merlon would never have survived as long as he could otherwise.

But...

But.

All of these dealings, everything since Bowsette came to accept herself... had been unprecedented.

Never before had something like this happened. Be that it may, something like this may never happen again, he thought. The waves of the past told him that Bowsette was a true enemy, an eternal warrior with the powers of True Royalty, one that would never have a satisfied heart without the entire world in her grip. That giving her back the powers she had lost would only further that cause and bring great suffering.

She had not realized the full extent of her powers. Even Morton had failed to do that. It would be a waste to explain that to either of them, though, because it was beyond their capability to understand what their celestial blood truly possessed. If they did, it would mean the end of the world.

Nevertheless, he continued. A new reality was forming around him, and he embraced it.

The party stopped all at once. Ahead of them was a floating, glowing cloud of magical energy, in a humanoid shape with a large mushroom cap-shaped head.

Nobody said anything.

Merlon stepped forward in front of the rest and held out his hands.

And then he died.


	41. Chapter 41: Mushroom, I've Come to Bargain

**Chapter 41: Mushroom, I've Come to Bargain**

Merlon was gone. Bowsette had absolutely no idea where he went, but there was a charred marking on the ground where he had previously stood.

And now the Mushroom Soul floated in front of all of them.

Toadette had fainted. Goombella and Captain Toad each were cowering behind Luigi, who was cowering behind a tree. Only Mario, Peach, and Bowsette could stand before it and keep themselves strong.

Though Bowsette had to admit she was very worried about this.

"Is it... doing anything?" Peach asked.

Mario separated his feet as if he was going to lunge at it in a sudden attack. Don't jump, man! Don't...

It seemed like it was staring at Bowsette directly. It did not have eyes, but its gaze was still piercing and sharp.

It stuck a hand over Mario's head, and a surge of electric energy zapped around in, flashing in a nearly-blinding brightness. But when it stopped, nothing had changed. Mario had no innate magic inside of him, so this was to be expected. He was a human from another world, one where magic did not exist.

Peach however, was a pure-blooded Toadstool Royal, and the Mushroom Soul was sticking its hand towards her now.

Bowsette realized what was going on and pushed Peach out of the way. She spread both her arms wide. "Mushroom! Take me instead! I have come to bargain with you!"

It seemed to accept this, and placed both its hands on top of Bowsette's head. The Super Crown atop it lost its glow and fell off her head, but she did not immediately transform back into the Koopa she was on the inside. Instead, she began to glow herself, and then--

* * *

Bowsette found herself in an ethereal realm, glowing with an infinite array of colors swirling about like the inside of a rainbow star.

She could not see herself. Her entire physical form had been erased. Instead, she saw several bodies floating around above her. Her body as Bowser, regal and posed like a true King Koopa sitting at a throne. Her body as a half-human, with a long black gown and one that modestly covered up the cleavage she usually let hang out for her own amusement. There was also Giga Bowser, a form she had not utilized in a long time due to the strain on her body it usually took. There was herself as a baby, pouting and insufferable like she had always been, and herself as Dry Bowser, a husk of bones and pure, refined fury. And then hailing above them all was a mighty dragon, as if Bowsette had somehow been turned into an animalistic beast and was roaring down at its enemies.

And then Merlon appeared. But he did not acts as Merlon would, not gaping or sneering or grimacing. He simply stood in place with no expression on his face.

"You are the being who is referred to as Bowsette," Merlon said. "I am the Mushroom Soul."

"Merlon, what's happened to you? What's happened to... me?"

"I am the Mushroom Soul. This host was absorbed for study," Merlon...'s body said. "Magic in all its forms has many different types, many different uses. This host has seen much."

"So we're... dead?"

"I have absorbed you of your own request. However, you are not useful to me. You have nothing inside of you."

"What are you talking about? I am the Lordess Bowser, King of the Koopas, the White Knight of the Books-"

"You do not have a soul of magic to study," it said. "Your power is ancestral. It lies within your blood. It is not useful and I cannot interact with it."

"But... But... at the castle, you sealed my magic power!" If she had a form here, she would be pointing up to the various versions of herself circling above, pleading for it to look at them and realize.

"I did no such thing. The magic I took when I was first brought together as one was very minimal; it was a Star Shard fragment used as the essence on a weapon, and it was a transformation spell in the form of a minor power-up. I studied them but I did not need to."

Bowsette was confused.

"I'm confused."

"Your magic is not something that is relevant to my study," it explained. "Your power is a part of your being and not an essence of soul. Its only limits are your own self, and that is not a useful endeavor for what I wish to learn."

So... her magic WASN'T sealed?

It was... herself all along? She was inhibiting herself? What a cliche that was!

"Well then, dammit, let me out of here! And give us back Merlon, too!"

"I cannot do that, being known as Bowsette," it said. "The Merlon soul is powerful and I desire it. I will give it back when I am done."

"What about me then?"

"You accepted giving yourself up to me. I appreciated the gesture and took it."

"Well, that was before I knew... come on, soul guy!"

Merlon's body faded, and so did the forms floating above. Now there was nothing in her field of vision except for this massive sphere of color. "Very well. I will consider Merlon as the piece of offering to give you back what I took from you. It will be a bargain, that way, then."

"So you're..."

"Giving you back the Super Crown and Star Shard energies. And letting you go. Nothing more than that. I have no desire to grant anything further."

Bowsette didn't like Merlon, but she really didn't think it was exactly fair that he was suddenly some sort of bargaining chip. But her conscience was overruled by the logic that she was dealing with a being of entirely different rules than her morality system, and let it go.

"I accept," Bowsette said. "Thank you."

"I do not understand what that means."

And then--

* * *

Bowsette appeared again, but in full lizard form, now once again eight feet tall and with her mannish scaly face. The Mushroom Soul floated away as quickly as it came, but now Bowsette was here... as Bowser.

She noticed the dazed expressions of the faces of the six others looking at her, and froze up. She didn't like the looks on their faces. She didn't like looking like this. But... there were two objects in her hands; a Star Shard, and a Super Crown, both glowing and ready for use.

As quickly as she could, she grabbed the Super Crown and placed it on her head, transforming back into the princess-esque form she held so dearly to herself.

The Star Shard was useless so she tossed it aside,

"What happened?" asked Peach. "You were there, and then suddenly..."

"Kakakaka," Bowsette laughed. "Kakakaka! Kakakakakakakaka!"

From the shell on her back suddenly sprouted two large wings, black as night and matching perfectly the color of her dress. As she continued to cackle, she took off into the sky, flying around in the air and spinning in circles.

She was back! She was Bowsette, King Koopa, Lordess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Supreme Commander of the Koopa Troop, the Molten Mistress- who cared what kind of stupid title she had? She was BACK!

"Kakakakaka!" Bowsette aimed her head upwards and a jet of fire burst forth, singing the trees below from the sheer intensity of the heat.

From up here she could see the world before her. Shroom City to the east. Mt. Rugged to the south. Jewelry Land to the north. And out to the west, far enough that her eyesight could barely reach the distance, she saw the mountainous edge of Dark Land. Her home.

The home she would take back.

She let her wings draw back into her shell and fell to the ground, floating gently with the Super Crown's gravity-defying dress.

When she landed, the six allies who had helped her stared in complete non-comprehension.

She didn't explain. Instead she stomped right up to Princess Peach, grabbed her by both cheeks, and pulled her in for a kiss. Their lips met and weaved into each other, and Peach put her arms around Bowsette's neck to keep her close. Bowsette warmed up her lips just a smidge, making each moment of this kiss burn with the fiery passion she felt on the inside.

But after only a few seconds, Peach broke away and slapped Bowsette across the cheek yet again. Ow!

"What happened, Bowsette? Please explain," she commanded.

"Well, I-" Bowsette felt her lips and realized there was pink lipstick on them. "I bargained with the Mushroom Soul. I got my powers back."

"And Merlon?"

"He... didn't make it."

She wasn't going to tell her that her powers had been all just a mental block all along, that Merlon was the bargaining chip she had used to gain back her own life. Nor would she explain that the Mushroom Soul was on some sort of quest for knowledge and that leaving it to roam was one of the most dangerous things they could ever do.

Instead, she would let all of them focus on the task at hand. Which was mourning a lost ally, even if he was a creep.

"I'm sorry," Bowsette added.

"Well, at least you're back," Luigi said. "That means we can... er... you can search for help!" Of course Luigi was going to back out of this as soon as he was able. He was like Boom Boom in that regard.

"No, I will certainly need your help," Bowsette said. "I need my Generals back, but I have not been able to find any word of King Boo. Given your-"

Bowsette fell to the ground and passed out.


	42. Chapter 42: The Purple Ones

#  Chapter 42: The Purple Ones

Big timer at the center of the island. Explosives lined all around it. Probably ain’t gonna pass that. That’s okay. Don’t need to, don’t want to. Piranha Plant guards joking with each other, singing tunes, escorting Nabbit down the road.

He wasn’t a prisoner, right? So much to bag and grab. But... this was kind of foreboding.

Not exactly a castle here. Then again, not exactly a tropical paradise. Lots of trash. Scrap metal. The kind of stuff that’s expensive. But not good for nabbing. Not good for Nabbit.

They entered the house. There he was.

“Waaaaaah!” Waluigi waaaah’d. 

“Hey there, what’s up? Got a message for you. Just a messenger. Won’t bag, won’t grab.” That’s what he told Flutter but then he stole Flutter’s family vase. Couldn’t help it. Very nice porcelain.

“Nabbit. So we meet at last,” Waluigi said. Wasn’t in his normal clothes. Overalls or tennis clothes, that sort of thing. He was in a long dark robe. Like he just woke up. It was six in the evening.

“Good to be here. Good to meet you. Good times,” said Nabbit.

“My Piranha Plants have always wondered what rabbit tastes like... Care to teach them?” Waluigi snickered. Thought he said something clever. He really didn’t.

“Got a proposition for ya. Bowser’s Kingdom’s gonna get attacked. Gonna get pillaged. Lots of weapons to find. Lots of money to make. But we need your bombs. Lots of them. Piranha Plants too. Really helpin’ us out here, Waluigi. The good old Gamma Bro.”

“Can’t,” Waluigi said.

“Can’t?”

“Can’t.”

“You really can’t?”

“I really won’t.”

“That’s different.”

“I was being polite.”

”You’re never polite.”

“I know! What a good trick, huh?”

“Pretty solid. Explain why you won’t.”

“Don’t care.”

“What if I said Daisy will be there?”

“Will she?”

“No.”

“Then why would you say it?”

“To get you to go.”

“Makes sense.”

“So will you if you help out.”

“I’ll what?”

“Make sense.”

“You mean, make cents.”

“That’s what I said, make cents.”

“I got enough money.”

“Sure you do. But what about Wario?”

“What about him?”

“He never has enough money. Give him money.”

“Nah. We’re not on speaking terms right now.”

“Why not?”

“I’m talking to you.”

“Give me money.”

“Give yourself money.”

“I’d have to get a job.”

“Good point. Nah, I won’t help.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m adamant.”

“Alright then.”

“I’ll see you next time I take over the world,” Waluigi said.

“I’ll be there to steal your stuff,” said Nabbit.

Good convo. Lots of progress. Very fruitful. What a guy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I have to mix it up or the story will get stale. Sometimes this includes comedic back and forths between Nabbit and Waluigi.


	43. Chapter 43:

#  Chapter 43: 君達の混沌の世界

Toads all over Koopa’s Tycoon Town were protesting the arrival of Princess Peach for a formal ceremony dedicating a statue of Knot-Wing the Koopa, a philanthropist who had recently passed away. They were all dressed in bright pink clothes and holding signs reading things like, “Koopas Get Out!” and “Mushroom Kingdom for Mushrooms!”

There were chants and there were yells, but things were calm until Peach herself arrived at the scene. She stood to the back of the ceremony, coming forward only at the end to cut the ribbon.

“I only knew Knot-Wing briefly during his time on Earth,” she said from some prepared remarks. “But from what I knew of him, he was a gentle, caring--”

Someone threw a bottle of Courage Soda and it shattered just at Peach’s feet. Several Toad Guardsmen stepped forward and pointed their spears towards the crowd. Peach was quickly escorted back towards a secure Warp Pipe away.

“Gut the traitors!” a Toad shouted.

“Koopallaborators!” another added.

And then with little warning, chaos broke out. Twenty or more Koopas, dressed in all-black and wearing bandanas over their faces, entered the crowd and began accosting the Toad protestors. “Koopas resist!” one of the black-clad figures said just before punching a pink-clad Toad in the face.

They pushed the Toads away, stole their signs, and it quickly escalated into an all-out brawl. The Toad Guardsmen stood in front of all the officials, waiting for a protestor or someone to charge the statue and attack, but it never happened; they were too interested in beating each other up.

Later that night, the statue was blown up by a rogue agent with a spare Bob-omb. The fights would continue throughout the week.

 

* * *

There was an explosion outside, rocking the bunker and making General Guy spill his Zess Tea all over himself.

Oh, what a bother.

But those explosions were a good thing, he noted. It meant that the enemy forces were falling right into his trap and were colliding with the mines floating just above the ground. Knowing the usual way these attacks went, they had just sent in their Hammer Bros, and those forces were being decimated to make way for the more valuable Bullet Bill barrage forces. But General Guy had confidence in his men to take down the cannons before they had been finished setting up. They always did.

Shy Guys may have been bad at social interaction, and they may not have been bright. But they sure as Underwhere were good fighters, and that was a fact.

General Guy was going to pour himself a new cup of tea, because he needed some extra energy while he plotted the rebellion’s next move. They had lost a quarter of their territory in recent days, but they were easily going to get it back so long as they...

The explosions stopped.

What was going on now? General Guy sped from his current position in the bunker and near the main entrance. If the Shy Guys had been defeated, then they would have blown the hatch and sealed this place off from the outside. The only other way in was through an elaborate maze-like system of tunnels only General Guy had the map to, and that would never be breached, not in a million years. So they couldn’t have lost, surely. But the explosions should still have been going on if the battle was still going. No side could have defeated the other that quickly.

He found a viewport that led to the surface and looked around. Lots of Shy Guys laying around. Lots of Hammer Bros, too. And then-- Whoa baby! Giant eye in front of the viewport!

This had glasses on, so it definitely wasn’t a Mr. I ready to burst in and start shooting bubbles all up the place.

It was too bad he couldn’t communicate-- Oh, the figure was backing up-- hey, wasn’t that one of those Koopalings? The one with the green hair and glasses, uh, the one people called the Conqueror? He was thrown in prison a while back but it looked like he got out... What was he doing out here all by himself? 

Waving, is what it looked like. He seemed to want to get in. He held up a magic wand and twirling it around the place, trying to get someone’s attention, and it definitely got his.

He went over to the entrance and unsealed the hatch, where he could let new soldiers in if they needed. Any good tactician would do this for another good tactician.

And...

There were a group of Hammer Bros waiting outside the entrance.

That Koopaling came down as fast as he could and reached General Guy, where he was laughing and running... and transforming back into Doopliss. “Man, you guys are so easy!” he shouted. “I keep pulling the same trick and I got the whole darn Shy Guy Army!”

General Guy was at a loss for words.

And he was at a loss for men, and a loss for victories.

He lost.

“I’m gonna keep doing this man,” Doopliss said. “I don’t even care what the pay is. It’s so much fun!”

 

* * *

 

The Master Poet of Toad Town sat in his normal spot in Club 64, with calm music playing in the midday lull while the bartender cleaned off all the Tasty Tonic glasses in relative silence. It had been a long weekend, but now the weekdays were upon them, and they could get some rest.

“I’m at a loss for words,” the Master Poet said, fiddling with a pencil and looking over an empty notebook. “I can usually do this, but... For some reason, I am coming up with nothing. I can’t even rhyme.”

The bartender looked at him, and then looked over to Chanterelle, the Master Poet’s muse. She hadn’t spoken lately, either. She was usually very soft in her words, and easily lost the will to talk, but what had been happening around the Mushroom Kingdom lately... it was no surprise that she hadn’t sung in a month, either. She hadn’t the willpower.

The bartender himself had been having business troubles lately. With his pro-Koopa, pro-Goomba stances on letting patrons of any creed, any background enter Club 64, many Toads had called for a boycott. It was hurting business and the weekdays often saw no patrons other than the regulars.

These three were a sad sack of mushrooms, it seemed like. Toad Town was a lot like that these days.

And then the front door swung open, with a Toad in pink and bright sunglasses bursting in. He sauntered over to the bar and shook the bartender’s hand. “Zip Toad, at your service,” he said. He was the award-winning actor behind such hits as  _ The Night is Short, Walk on Toad _ , and  _ The Toad Who Leapt Through Toad _ . What was he doing... here?

“Um, hello,” said the Bartender.

“I’m here to make Toad Town great again,” Zip Toad said. “By making a movie!”

“Uhh...”

“And I need your permission to shoot here,” he added. “It’s going to be a movie all about the wonders of Toads and how Toad pride is a GOOD thing, not a bad thing, despite what the K-- despite what some people may say. Toads matter too, you know? Everyone does!”

This certainly sounded a bit...

“I’ll rent out the entire club for three nights, and buy your entire drink stock. That sound okay? I’m my own producer, my own director, and surprisingly my own composer, believe it or not. You in?”

The Master Poet stopped. “Do you still need a writer?” he asked.

“Dude, you are welcome to give a rewrite a shot. I’ve got a draft ready but it definitely needs some punching up.” Zip Toad flashed a smile. “And this pretty lady over here...”

“She sings,” the bartender said.

“We can use her, for sure,” he said. “I’m so excited about this. We’re making this happen.”

“What’s the movie... called?” the bartender asked.

“Nothing official yet,” Zip Toad said. “But I like  _ The Toad of a Nation _ .”

 

* * *

 

Dry Bones sat in a prison cell in a deep floor of the Koopa Bros fortress, just like he had for the past fifteen years. He was honestly thinking they might have forgotten he existed, that his prison sentence would be forever because they assumed a reanimated pile of bones was somehow dead just because it wasn’t moving anymore. No, you anti-undead bigots, Dry Boneses could survive without moving unlike you stupid fleshies... Oh, who was he kidding? He was never getting out of here. His sentence was supposed to be eight years

All he did was kidnap a Yoshi hatchling and try to sell it on the black market... three years was enough, surely.

But seeing as he was in basement floor thirty of a prison whose spaces hadn’t filled past floor twenty-three in years, he doubted anyone even remembered he existed. He just wished he could escape himself!

No need to eat, sleep, drink... just lay here until someone showed up.

Or... if something was rumbling deep beneath the ground...

A large drill emerged and there was a tank filled with Monty Mole soldiers hopping out and assuming positions. Dry Bones formed and bowed to the commander that stepped out, a Frog. 

“Sir...”

“Are we in the Koopa Bros Prison?” the Frog asked. She looked at the Dry Bones with great interest. 

“Yes, yes you are,” he said.

“Good. Then it is time for us to begin... a jail break.”


	44. Chapter 44: Wakey Wakey

**Chapter 44: Wakey-Wakey**

_Bones stirred. Eyes lit up in a glitter. The final prize awaited. He laughed._

Hm...H...huh?

Bowsette fluttered her eyes open and realized she was laying in her bed, in some pajamas, and the sun was shining bright in the sky.

That was weird for a couple reasons. Number one, she never slept in pajamas; she exclusively slept in the nude and always had. Number two, the last thing she remembered was being in a forest and getting her powers back. Why was she in bed? Did she take some forget-me-nows by accident?

Well, whatever the reason, she didn't think it was that important. She undressed, took her shell off, and went into her bathroom, where she was going to take a warm and relaxing bath in the tub. Ahhh... Ah crap she tripped over her own feet. Apparently her legs were very sore from... not walking...

How long had she been asleep?

Oh well. She stepped into the tub and let the warm water tickle her skin. She set it to as hot as it could possibly go, but it wasn't a tenth as hot as what Bowsette preferred. She almost started to miss lava baths at this point...

Oh well. As long as she was here. This was good enough...

Wait.

If she was remembering correctly... Bowsette pointed her mouth down towards the water and blew a hot fire outwards. It extinguished quickly, but it reminded her that, yes, her powers did work again. In fact, it was only her own stupid nonfunctioning brain that had made her trick herself into blocking use of those powers. She was in a very dark place, geez.

Realizing that, she breathed more fire out and heated the tub up until it was absolutely scalding. Oh yeah, when the water bubbles, THAT'S how you know you've got a toasty bath!

Whatever happened between getting those powers back and ending up here, she still had absolutely no memory of, but it must not have been incredibly exciting even so. She kind of wondered where- A shriek from the bedroom! What was wrong! The shriek sounded like... one of the Toad handmaids, not someone important, so yeah Bowsette was just going to stay in the bath if that's alright with you.

Soon though, the Toad handmaid entered the bathroom, fretting about and carrying with her Princess Peach.

"She was here, and then she- oh, she's here," the handmaid said, her nervous nature immediately disappearing when she realized that the issue had been resolved.

"T-thank you," Peach said.

She left and as soon as she did, Princess Peach ran over to the tub and gave Bowsette a tight embrace. Bowsette felt warm from the bath already, but this was a whole new feeling. Peach let go and looked at all of the water all over her dress. "I probably should have done that... And Brighton, you're hot. What, are you bathing in lava- Oh." Peach noticed the fact that Bowsette's bath was literally boiling. "I'm so glad you're okay..."

"Okay? What happened. Peach?" Bowsette leaned back and put her head against the back of the tub. Peach's eyes looked down as she was clearly distracted by the fact that Bowsette was, um, taking a bath, and was making no attempt to hide her stare.

"What do you mean 'What happened,' Bowsette? You've been in a coma for a week!"

"I... have? That would certainly explain why I couldn't walk without tripping and why I'm sore all over. What's up with that?"

"Well, we went over to the Toadwood Forest and you conversed with the Mushroom Soul and completely disappeared for a little bit. You came back out, sprouted some wings and flew around, and then... you just passed out. That's all."

"Sure you're not leaving out any details?" Bowsette asked. "Sure doesn't seem like it's the full context." Bowsette moved forward and leaned over the edge of the tub, hiding her chest from view.

Peach still blushed, though. "Of course not. That's it. Nobody could figure out what could have been the cause."

"Definitely not that big old smooch I planted on you?" Bowsette asked.

Peach took a few steps closer into the tub and raised a hand to slap her, but then slipped at the last second, nearly falling in the tub-

Except that Bowsette caught her by the hips and pushed her back on her feet. Peach burst into laughter. But that was no laughing matter; Peach's skin would be covered in third degree burns if she got in this tub.

"I gotta say, you sure have changed, Bowsette," Peach said. "Who knew you ever knew how to treat a lady?"

The two wives she had already had, probably.

"I had to learn or else all that kidnapping would have been for nothing."

"Anyway... it looks like you're... awake."

"Yeah. I guess... when the Mushroom Soul spit me back out it had a large effect on me? Something like that. I couldn't understand anything otherwise."

"That sounds about right," said Peach. She stepped up to the tub again, treading more carefully this time, and sat on the edge of the tub next to where Bowsette was leaned over. "So do you think you're up for searching for your Generals and whatnot?"

"What? Not yet," Bowsette said. "I feel terrible..." She imagined how her children felt, fighting for their lives at this very moment... and the fact she was complaining while sitting in a hot tub... She really was a terrible person. "I mean, just give me another day or two."

"That's fair enough. Maybe we can have a small party or something to help you rest up?"

"If that's what you want."

"I do." Peach smiled. Bowsette smiled back.

"So... how's the Princess doing at her Princessly duties now that she's back in her castle?"

Peach sighed loudly. "Exactly how you'd expect," she groaned. "The Chancellor is so hard to deal with. I don't know what's come over him. And all the areas trying to secede or gain more autonomy and whatnot... It's getting worse. I even almost got attacked by protestors the other day. This is all your fault you know, Bowsette."

"I'd apologize, but I don't know if it was actually as much me as you think," Bowsette said. "I was only in charge for a month or two, right? If things are still this bad, then it just means the Mushroom Kingdom wasn't as stable and peaceful as we thought. That, or someone's trying to make it seem worse on purpose."

"Neither of which are good options..."

Peach seemed so stressed out. She was just lounging around the castle, and yet she was all dressed up like she was going to have to perform some ceremonial duties or meet with the press or something.

"It sounds like that party might be more for your health, huh?" Bowsette giggled.

"Maybe... I think a break would be good. That's why I'm excited to get to adventuring again. This castle life stuff is... hard."

"Tell me about it. That's why I abdicated."

"Maybe I will too," Peach said with a straight face, before laughing. It was a beautiful laugh. Too shrill, a little too high-pitched and feminine to be taken seriously... exactly how it should have been.

That's who Peach was.

"So... you wanna go get some ice cubes, and then come back here and join me?" Bowsette asked.

Peach chuckled and shook her head. "Not today, Bowsette. But don't worry, you'll get your chance." She leaned in and pecked Bowsette on the cheek.

"You know," Bowsette said. "It almost feels like you've fallen in love with me."

"I have, though."

"The feeling's mutual," said Bowsette.

"Finish your bath and I'll bring you some lunch," Peach said. "You're probably starving." Bowsette saluted her as she left the bathroom.


	45. Chapter 45: Funky Flights

#  Chapter 45: Funky Flights

Why were they taking a commercial flight? Why the heck?

Peach had four suitcases, three of which Bowsette had to carry, and they had Mario and Goombella accompany them. Peach was the Royal Ruler of House Toadstool, Sovereign Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom, for Brighton’s sake! Bowsette was the Lordess of the Extreme Prophecy, Claw of Fate, for Brighton’s other sake!

“It’s a goodwill gesture,” Peach said, seemingly reading her, uh, Koopa friend’s mind. “Oil prices have skyrocketed thanks to... current events... and if we take my private plane it will look absolutely wretched to the public. So here we go. If we run into any trouble... well, that’s why you’re my bodyguard.

And that’s why Bowsette was dressed up like a human-sized Shy Guy with a black cloak and funny-looking mask over her head, to protect Peach? Not because if word got out about her reappearance it’d be an international diplomatic crisis?

“I can’t believe you won’t let me go down to the Outpost, claw up a few Mousers, and be done with it. It’s a mercy mission, really. They’re hoarding all their resources for themselves!”

“The Dry Dry Republic has been officially recognized as an independent nation now,” Peach said. “I gave them my word I would lay down my arms against them, and that I would respect their sovereignty. I can’t let you break that, even if it is hurting our own economy... quite a lot.” Peach held obvious contempt for the fact that they were having to walk through a crowded Funky Flights Airport and board a cramped commercial airplane.

“They did do one thing right,” Bowsette said. “Jonathan Jones is a hero. If there was anyone who could defend the coast with so little like he did, I have never heard of them. We should knight him ourselves, he’s so good.”

“We don’t have knighthood in the Mushroom Kingdom,” Peach said.

“And maybe that’s why my armies always defeated yours.”

Peach shrugged. They were almost to the plane, now, but then Peach suddenly stopped. “Wait, where are Mario and Goombella, anyway?

“Probably off smooching in the family restroom,” Bowsette said. She kept walking on past Peach, until she realized she was no longer moving. “Eh?”

She sighed. “Haha... You’re probably right... Maybe I shouldn’t have invited them to this party after all. It’s going to cause a lot of drama.” What, were they all teenage girls all of a sudden?

“I mean, you can’t have a Mario Party without Mario.”

“Well, maybe it should be a Peach party, because I’m always the one paying for them...”

Bowsette shrugged this time. “Well, come on. They’ll board the plane eventually. You don’t have to worry.”

“Yeah.”

Bowsette was dressed up like a fool, but she could still cheer Peach up a little bit, and that was what mattered.

They got on the plane and, eventually, it took off, headed straight for Isle Delfino.


	46. Chapter 46: Bowsette Party: Ztar Rush

#  Chapter 46: Bowsette Party: Ztar Rush 

Bowsette cried.

She couldn’t stop crying, but you know what? That was fine! She was just so... so.... HAPPY.

Never in a million years did she ever think she’d be invited to one of these parties. They always excluded her, and that was always. She practically always crashed those parties, sabotaging them and ruining things for all the people having fun. No matter how many kart racing tournaments she won, or tennis matches she smashed, or dance competitions she completed in a frenzy, or friendly fighting tournaments she dominated, nobody ever let her join in on these parties, not ever.

Mario, Peach, Bowsette, and Goombella had met up with friends like Donkey Kong, Luigi, Wario, and Boo at the Isle Delfino airport and took a short boat trip over to Megafruit Paradise, where a new party board had recently been constructed. It was a beautiful island filled with, well, very large fruit, and just the right amount of fun party-ability.

Pom Pom, Boom Boom’s betrothed who Bowsette once, uh, interacted with more than she’d like to remember, was also here, in a surprise, though Boom Boom was nowhere to be found. It was awkward, and for once she would have liked to pretend she was a different person, but her dual identity had been international news to practically everyone except for the isolated communities in Bowser’s Kingdom itself, so she was forced to make small talk with her and pretend everything was just spiffy between them.

Everyone seemed to be taking Bowsette’s.... well, Bowsette herself pretty well. On a private secluded island they didn’t have to worry about hiding her away, but they also didn’t seem to mind the fact that she was presenting herself as a full-fledged female now. Even Wario was hitting on her by showing her his boogers and all that disgusting stuff he had never done when she was “just Bowser.” 

It was really just a fun atmosphere, nothing holding them back but themselves. It was a great place to recover after all. She suspected that the fact she had become a smoking hot half-human instead of giant hulking muscle Koopa might have played into the way everyone was so much more ready to accept her, but she didn’t feel like analyzing the dynamics of appearance and prejudice right now because she was... PARTYING!

Finally... here she was. Holding a dice block in her hands, bawling her eyes out because of how much she’d looked forward to this opportunity all her life but only received it now, at this very moment. Wow. Holy wow.

She tossed that block! And it landed on a 2!

She actually got to move two spaces ahead! Bowsette got to move two spaces ahead! Wow!

After a while of playing this party game with absolute ferocity, destroying everyone in every minigame and clawing her way towards all the stars, she was at the top, number one on the charts. She had seven stars, a boon compared to the number two player Donkey Kong, who had only three. Peach still hadn’t gotten a single one, as much as Bowsette was rooting for her. Mario and Goombella were too busy flirting to get much done, but they had still both gotten one.

She reached a Toad who congratulated her and asked for twenty coins for a star. Again? Come on. You guys have to be rich by now, surely. “You know what? I’ll take that off your hands for free,” Bowsette said.

“Uh, no, twenty coins please,” the Toad said.

“You drive a hard bargain. Thirteen?”

“Do you... have twenty coins, ma’am?”

Bowsette grumbled and handed over the stuff. Yay, star number eight!

The game went on a little bit longer, and she realized that everyone was starting to... look at her. By her twelfth star, she came to the conclusion that winning was not actually the main goal of these parties, and that she was probably taking this a little bit too seriously...

But she was so far ahead that she was never going to lose now... Oh no! THIS was why nobody wanted to invite her to parties, wasn’t it? Noooooooo.....

She cried again as she threw the dice block, but it was now because she realized, in her hubris, she had become her own worst enemy, just like always, ruining everything because of her dumbness.

But luck saw it a different way. She had rolled a one, a perfect number to move right into....

CHANCE TIME!

“Yo yo yo yo yo!!!!” Tumble, a weird looking dude with a giant dice on his head said as he zoomed over to Bowsette’s location. Three blocks appeared behind her and began rotating rapidly.

“I’ve... I’ve never gotten chance time before!!”

“And now you get to do it!” Tumble shouted with a squeaky glee. “Hit those blocks to determine who’s gonna get what.”

Maybe this could be the way she’d even things out. She would give all her stars to Peach and then she’d be in the back of the pack. Oh yeah. Let’s do this...

Block 1.... BOWSETTE. It was a modified Bowser symbol with a little crown added on top. Probably the best they could do on such short notice.

To add some suspense, she walked over next to go to the third block to see who the recipient would be.

Block 3... PEACH.

YEAH. LET’S GET THIS.

Block 2.....

.....

................

...............................

5 coins.

Peach was laughing, but it was all Bowsette could do to keep from crying about how badly she had ruined her chance there.

Still, she kept playing, intentionally losing minigames without making it look obvious (like falling over when she was wearing the very heavy Penguin Suit or not winding up her Mecha Fly Guy enough).

But.. even so... She still had a hundred and twenty coins when she stumbled upon the next Toad.

“Hey! Twenty coins for a star?” the Toad shouted with enthused excitement.

“Uh, actually... no thanks,” Bowsette said.

“Wait... what?”

“I have the option to say no, right?”

“I... GUESS so? Nobody’s ever... done it?”

“Well, that’s why I, Lordess Bowsette, Terror of the Fifteen Seas, Chomper of Megafruit, am special! I refuse any and all extra advantages that come my way!” She slapped her hand against her chest as a prideful gesture and then realized that that really hurt.

“Uh okay, then. See you around,” the Toad said.

Yep, that went well.

When it was Luigi’s turn, and he was deliberating for ten minutes on whether or not to use his Skeleton Key, Peach came over to Bowsette and grimaced. “What are you doing...?”

“What do you mean?”

She folded her arms. “You know exactly what I mean. You suddenly stopped playing and everyone is noticing. It’s kind of... rude.”

“I mean... Uh... no I didn’t?” Bowsette lied. “Oh, okay, fine, I thought maybe I was taking it a little too seriously, because I got so far ahead of everyone...”

Peach giggled. “Oh wow, you really HAVEN’T done one of these parties before, have you? Everyone knows the winner is only ever decided at the final couple turns with all the bonus stars and special events.”

“Eh? Really?”

“You’ll see.”

They entered the final stretch of turns, ad lo and behold, chaos ensued. Wario stole two stars from Bowsette with the Boos he had been storing all this time; Luigi finally used his Skeleton Key and went through a secret gateway that turned out to be housing a secret star; Mario used a Genie Lamp to warp over to the star, and then as soon as he received one, the next star space popped up right next to him!

Bowsette was now in a dead heat with the others. Ten stars, compared to the eight that Mario had, the eight Wario had, and the six Goombella had. DK was still stuck in an enclosed area where he had to roll into a Happening ? Space to get out, but his luck was not very high these days.

In all of this, though, Peach still only had two stars! What the heck, dude?

She thought very long and hard about challenging Peach to a duel with her Dueling Glove, betting a bunch of stars, and then losing, but that would come at the risk of accidentally wining, and then making her dear old friend look even worse. And Peach would be annoyed if she threw it, anyway.

So she decided to let the final turn play out like it would, and rolled her final dice block, chucking it onto the ground, where she got... a six.

She walked along the mpa, and landed right on...

A Bowser Space.

It was time for her to crash this party and bring some chaos!

Wait... Huh?

Nothing happened. Normally, she was supposed to appear in front of the player and say some nasty stuff and then do some mean thing. But with her being the player herself, it didn’t seem to... register.

Instead, the only thing that poofed into existence was the Bowser Roulette, another chance-like instance where something extremely interesting could happen. Bowser Revolution, which reflected in an ironic way the way Bowsette overthrew Morton Koopa all those years ago to balance out the power structure in Dark Land, only to become an autocratic leader herself, was the best option. It evened out everyone’s star and coin counts, which would make the rest of the game rely entirely on bonus stars, which were always a complete mystery up until the last second! Oh, or Bowser’s Multiplying Toads, where she would transport a fake Toad on the board that would hand you a Ztar!

Or better yet...

She spun the roulette wheel and let it fall where she desired. Yeah, it was all supposedly luck, but she had it rigged years and years ago to land on the one she wanted based on the strength of her spin, not that anyone else knew that. Otherwise, that 100 Star Present option would actually mean something, and that wasn’t happening.

And there it landed... on... Bowser’s Appearing Act! Now Bowser was set to transport somewhere on the map, roll three dice blocks, and steal all the stars in her way. But Bowsette, being an actual player on the board... had other plans.

She rolled the dice blocks, which were also rigged, as was the deal with these party sabotages, and walked right over to a very special Happening ? Space. There, a giant Scuttlebug swooped down and stole a star! She rolled another dice, landed on another Happening ? Space, and confronted a particularly angry Magikoopa who handed her three Ztars.

That’s what she was looking for. Ztars! Yes!

One more Happening ? Space on her final roll and she confronted a Wiggler who made her pay ten coins to pass over a bridge. That... wasn’t too interesting. Whatever.

At the end, now Bowsette had only six stars, far away from the lead. Everything was perfect now; Mario or someone could win just like that.

Tumble came back to the party at the end and danced around the place for a bit. “So... how’d you all do?!?!?!”

“It was fun!” Mario shouted.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!” Luigi exclaimed.

“I’m a winner,” Peach said.

DK grunted incomprehensibly. He totally knew how to speak, so Bowsette was a bit confused.

“Okay, so here’s the bonus stars..... Let’s go! For the winner of the most minigames... Mario!”

Mario stepped forward and took a star.

“And, a very special award... We’re converting all Ztars... into two stars!!!!”

So... Bowsette got... six stars more instead of losing stars... oops.

Now she had thirteen again.

“And for the player who landed on the most Happening ? Spaces... Bowsette! You get a new star!!!!!! Congratulations!!!”

Yay... fourteen stars. Amazing.

“Finally, our last award... the player with the most coins gets... all their coins converted into stars at ten coins per star! Peach, come get it!”

Peach stepped forward, and cashed in her eye-popping three hundred coins for a spectacular total of thirty stars. “You win!!!!!!!!!!” Tumble screamed

“Yeah, Peach is the winner!”

Geez. Bowsette wanted to eat her hat right now, if she had a hat.

These parties were the dumbest thing ever, as it turned out.


	47. 47: Fancy Dinner at Sirena Beach

#  Chapter 47: Classy Dinner at Sirena Beach

Bowsette dug into her Meat Pasta Dish and looked out the window to the sun setting over Isle Delfino. The sky hat lit up in a brilliant mix of oranges, blues, and purples, the warm glow of the tropical day fading into the cool hues of the evening. 

After the party, they took a boat back to the main island where they spent the day shopping around Delfino Plaza, playing an infuriating game of pachinko, and going Phantamanta watching at the beach. If they had more time they probably would have visited Pinna Park too, but that was enough for its own trip, really.

It was just fun to be doing all of this now, as much as they could cram into one short trip. After this, they’d be going on an adventure once again, and probably wouldn’t be done for a really long time. Well, Bowsette and Peach would. She wasn’t sure who all was going with them, but that would probably be worked out soon enough.

“...and then Kolorado was like, ‘We have to save it! My wallet’s in there!’” Goombella shouted, before bursting into laughter along with Mario. “Man, I miss the guy, but he sure was a real card sometimes.”

Bowsette had no idea what she was talking about most of the time. Goombella was like a completely different woman than herself, and that’s probably why Mario liked her so much. What she couldn’t understand, of course, was the reverse. What was the deal with Mario?

Every girl around was always just fawning over him like he was some big bulky superhero. Bowsette when she was a full-fledged Koopa had way more muscles than that pudgy plumber. In fact, she was pretty shredded now, too; she had abs that stretched on towards infinity and somehow it was Mario who was getting all the attention, all the time.

It couldn’t have just been his charming, happy-go-lucky attitude. No way. Nor his admittedly finely-maintained mustache, nor his sparkling blue eyes... Okay, fine, the guy was a hunk of meat pie. Didn’t mean it didn’t drive her crazy with jealousy.

Even Peach, who was sitting next to Bowsette and with whom she had made some very firm, very solid, very implied plans to meet in the bathtub later this evening, was enthralled with Mario in their current conversation.

“Oh, Mario,” Peach said. “Remember that time you and I went to Robo Land with Luigi and Toad and we had to talk to that Dr. Nerdnick guy all the time? Wasn’t that awful?”

Bowsette was there too, you know. Sure, she was trying to capture the four of them, but... still....

“You know what else is interesting?” Bowsette chimed in. “That time we all took down Smithy together! Huh? Remember that?”

“Wait, you guys all three did that together?” Goombella asked. “I always thought that was one of Mario’s solo adventures. Gee, what was that like?”

“Oh, it was mostly Mario,” Peach said. “He led the way. We just tagged along, right Bowsette? You were the big heavy fighter and I was holding a big frying pan, and then... Geno and Mallow...”

The four of them held a moment of silence.

Yeah, that was Bowsette’s fault too. As was everything... She really shouldn’t bring up any conversation about anything, ever. 

Just gonna eat this spaghetti and wait this stupid conversation through

“I wonder what the Axem Rangers are doing these days,” Peach said. “You never hear about them anymore.”

“Landscaping,” said Mario. “That’s all.”

“Man, I thought our adventure out to get Bowsette’s powers back were cool, but...” Goombella would have shrugged here but she had no shoulders. “I think I’m starting to appreciate being a University professor, honestly.” She giggled. “Once classes start again, I’m gonna have a lot of fun grading papers. I’m completely serious.”

“Oh, what are you teaching this semester?” Peach asked.

“Goombology 5300: Goombas in History.” After Goomboss passed away, there’s been a lot of controversy and discussion, so it’s going to be a really lively class. You should sit in sometime.”

“Maybe if I have a good disguise,” she laughed.

Everyone assumed Bowsette had killed Goomboss, but the guy really did just died of a heart attack. It actually wasn’t her fault this time... But she couldn’t help feeling terrible about it. Mario, Peach, and Goombella continued having a good time at this dinner, but Bowsette for the most part just twirled her fork around and pretended to look content.

There was probably no redeeming her for all the idiotic, rude, merciless things she did. Coming out here to rest and relax was improving her health, but not her spirits. She realized that the road to convincing her old allies to rejoin her and take back Dark Land from Morton Koopa was going to be next to impossible, for all the ways she had isolated and spurned them in the past, the ways that her abdication had led to all of this happening in the first place. She wasn’t going to be forgiven. She shouldn’t have even been seeking it, really.

And look at Mario over here, laughing it up with all his friends like the true hero he was. Her ultimate enemy, and she was dining with him just because they were on the same side? Lordess Bowser had reached a new low. The time they had teamed up to defeat Smithy was a fun victory that defeated a Machine Empire that threatened to take over the entire planet... but it was also only a team-up because Bowsette was humiliated and defeated in her own castle. That was the way it always went.

Grrr... she hated Mario,. Always had, always would. What a huge jerk, flirting with two women at the same time, flashing her those cute glances and acting like Bowsette was actually his friend. They weren’t friends. They were temporary allies, and when this was all over they would never speak again except for in the midst of armed combat!


	48. Chapter 48: Comfortable

#  Chapter 48: Comfortable

Ahhhhhhhhhhh.... Shiiiitt........

Bowsette wrapped some bed sheets around herself and adjusted her choker with her free hand. It was a lot tighter than she realized it should have been. 

Her other hand, of course, was currently wrapped around Mario as the man rest himself on Bowsette’s body.

This was the biggest screw-up she’d been in in a while. No pun intended. But surprisingly... it felt pretty nice. Which was weird.

She took a few moments to catch her breath and process what had just happened, and she could barely even remember what led up to all of this.

They were heading back to their hotel rooms, and then she noticed Mario heading back into her room without Goombella, and then... What the hell was she thinking?!

Agh, no... what was Peach going to think if she found out that Bowsette and Mario had... Bowsette’s life was ruined.

And worst of all, she felt pretty comfortable about it, too. How could she be relaxing at a time like this?!

“Oh, Mario, what did we do...”

“Each other,” Mario muttered.

“Oh yeah, right.”

Well, they were currently in the midst of cuddling, and Bowsette was really enjoying it, so she might as well begin the pillow talk, something she was never quite good at because her conversations inevitably got a lot more vulnerable than her partners were willing to put up with. She wouldn’t let that happen this time.

“Am I a failure, Mario?” Bowsette asked. 

Oh well. Here it goes.

“What’s a failure?” Mario asked.

“I mean, maybe a failure is... the dictionary definition is like, a picture of me. I’ve never accomplished anything in my life that hasn’t ended up hurting someone else somewhere along the lines. My quest to fulfill myself has engulfed the entire continent in strife and war and now I have to start a war just to try and end it. Isn’t that crazy?”

“That’s life.”

“That’s life for me, at least,” she said. She began rubbing Mario’s back, which had a weird hairiness to it. “For you, you always win. You always get the girl, or girls in many cases. You get to eat CAKE. You’re a hero. The things I do always mess everything up, but the things you do just fix them.

“Not-a true, Bowsette.”

“Eh? What do you mean?”

Mario scooted up his body a bit and kissed Bowsette while holding her shoulders. “Sometimes I make things worse too. Every time I defeat you, I make you unhappy. Someone always gets hurt, all the time.” His head disappeared under the covers.

“But I’m the bad guy... Whoa there Mario, not again so soo-- Oh, Mario...” She started breathing more heavily again. “Who knew you ever knew how to... treat a lady?”

“I had to learn or else all that rescuing kidnapped women would have been for nothing.”

“Well, get in here and rescue me again,” Bowsette said.

He did.

And after that, Bowsette continued her weirdly confessional conversation. “What I mean to say is.... We’re rivals. Hurting each other is the whole goal.”

“But... we’re not so different, you and I.”

“I guess not... So you don’t always feel like you were the ultimate hero for everything?”

“No, I do,” Mario said. “I just have to look past all the things that maybe I caused that weren’t my fault. If I save the Battle Belt Galaxy, maybe some Broodals will move in and take it over a week later because I blew up all the cannons. But that doesn’t mean it was my fault. I did what I thought was right, and that was enough.”

“So when I took over the Mushroom Kingdom...”

“That one was probably pretty stupid. But maybe the Mushroom Kingdom needed a little push. It was never as stable as it looked.”

“That’s what Peach was worried about...”

“Well, we’re not Peach, are we? We can let her worry about that. Mario leaned in for another kiss, but Bowsette rebuffe dhim.

“Is that why we... Because I look like Peach now? Are you okay that I’m not... like her in the same way?”

“Bowsette, I’ve met a lot of different women from all different types of backgrounds. Every one of them has the same fear. ‘What if I’m not as good as the rest?’ And you’re no different. But I will treat you the same way I’ll treat any woman. With respect.”

“Does that mean you love me? Because I don’t love you. I’m sorry.”

“Nah. Mario doesn’t do love.”

“Heartbroken by Peach rebuffing us both?”

“Nah, that was just to get back at you.”

“I DID try to kill you.”

They kissed a few more times after that.

“I do have to ask, though...” Bowsette began. “Are we still... cool?”

“Are we still enemies and rivals? Yeah, don’t worry,” Mario said. “We won’t let this get in the way of fighting each other at every chance we get. After you get Dark Land back, we can go back to normal and it’ll all work out. I’m glad we got this out of the way now, though, huh?”

“Yeah...”

Bowsette wasn’t sure about any of that. She wasn’t sure what would happen after they defeated Morton Koopa and she returned to the throne of Bowser’s Kingdom (which she would immediately decide to rename the moment she gained back control, I mean come on). She wasn’t sure she WANTED things to go back to normal in the same way, especially not that she had now embraced herself as the woman she maybe always was on the inside.

But she was glad Mario felt that way, at least.

This night was the most Bowsette had ever heard Mario talk in her decades of life knowing him. And it would be the most she would ever hear. But most importantly, it made Bowsette realize one thing: she was kinda sexually frustrated before. She was a lot more okay now.

At least until she had to face Peach in the morning.


	49. Chapter 49: Undue Consequences

#  Chapter 49: Undue Consequences

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’s possible.”

“Never in a million years.”

“And... let’s go to a commercial break!” MC Ballyhoo yelled, before the stage lights cut out and the audience politely clapped. He turned to his two guests, oil tycoon Ratooey named Lumpy and the Mayor of Down Under Land, T. Perth. “So uh, guys... I’m going to need you two to be a little more... cheerful when we come back, okay? My shows’s a FUN time. For FUN stuff.”

Lumpy laughed. “I’m having a good time.”

  1. Perth frowned. “You’re sadistic.”



“Save it for the camera,” Ballyhoo said.

In a moment, the advertisements ended and the show started back up. “Okay, guys, welcome back!” The audience let out a single “woo.” “We’re continuing our discussion between Lumpy and T. Perth right now, where they are discussing the future of the Mushroom Kingdom.”

  1. Perth leaned back as a show of confidence. “And as I was saying, I believe in Princess Peach and her government is as strong and capable as ever, even despite the likes of people like you.”



“Me?” Lumpy asked. “My only defense is that I am spending a lot of time and a whole lot of money trying to give certain regions the advantages they deserve, while Princess Peach was seen taking a vacation in Isle Delfino last week, on the kingdom’s tax dollars no doubt. Down Under Land’s independence should not even be a question. I support it as do forty-six percent of your citizens.”

“We are one small island,” T. Perth said. “We don’t have the ability to sustain ourselves on the world stage. Therefore, the Mushroom Kingdom does it for us. We only have to worry about our own affairs, then.”

“So you enjoy being treated like a second-rate colony?” Lumpy asked. “When Bowsette comes back, will you be expecting the Mushroom Kingdom to aid Down Under Land against attack?”

“Well...”

“Because the Lumpy Oil Conglomerate Association, Limited would help for sure. Just like we helped the Dry Dry Republic.”

“But that was.. only so you could suck their oil reserves dry, dry!”

“My, my. Reading off the Castle-approved talking points, now, are we?”

“You’re despicable,” T. Perth growled.

“I am just a benefactor, and I support any and all secession movements that bring regions greater prosperity,” said Lumpy.

MC Ballyhoo felt the warm glow of higher ratings basking over him. His comment to tone it down only spiced it up, and that was exactly his goal.

 

* * *

 

“...and that was when Bowsette took out her axe and sliced the Thwomp in half!” The two Hammer Bros hatchlings chased each other around, reenacting the scene they had heard so often from the others in the village.

Bowsette... that was the common name given to the mysterious hero who had appeared and freed the Chaos Castle prison a couple months ago, but then had disappeared as quickly as she came. No-one knew who she was or where she came from, but her glimmering, spiked shell and curvaceous horns were the striking images used as symbols for her power. Bowsette was a constant source of adoration for the local villages out in the outskirts of Dark Land, where there was not much to be found but farms... and hideaway rebels.

Wendy O. Koopa wished she could be as strong as this Bowsette woman. She had wished and prayed for a moment to escape her grandfather’s shell and break out into her own, just like most of her brothers. But she had an important task to play, apparently. As the only Koopaling on the inside, she was the only one who could do exactly what she was doing right now.

She entered the hut, where an elder Koopa and two Lakitus were huddled around a small blue Podoboo.

“It’s you again...” the elder Koopa grunted.

“Yes. I wanted to meet here again to ask you an important question.”

“Anything for my favorite... daughter...” This elder was not entirely in his best state of mind these days, which struck Wendy as something sad, but his information was almost universally reliable otherwise.

“I heard somethin’ in the throne room the other day I was wonderin’ if you’d know about. You ever heard about... Dread Lords?”

The elder Koopa’s eyes went wide. “Heard of them? Everyone’s heard of them. In legend and myth, they were great dragons of darkness that brought destruction and chaos to the world for two eons. They were finally stopped, but their dark power...” The elder trailed off and didn’t finish the sentence.

“Elder Koopa?” Wendy asked.

“Oh, right... Dread Lords... their bones, daughter. Their bones are hidden throughout the world, clamoring to reunite and bring forth incredible destruction, because that is their sole purpose. If you wander into a cave on your own, and you encounter one, you will only have yourself to blame. Stay out of the wilderness, and... you’ll be safe.”

“I think my grandfather is planning on... doin’ something about the Dread Lords,” Wendy said. “Do you know how I could perhaps... stop it?”

“Grandfather... No, my grandfather’s been dead two hundred years!” the elder Koopa balked. He started chuckling. “Silly girl.”

Suddenly, several Koopatrols burst into the hut. 

And... so did Dry Morton himself. 

“Finally,” Morton said. “I have you in a compromising position, Wendy.”

“Um, yeah, ya do.”

“I knew there was a mole in the court. I just didn’t expect it to be you. I expected it to be one of the Monty Moles.”

“Wait, I can ex--”

Without hesitation, Morton raised a magic wand, pointed it, and blasted his granddaughter. She was turned to stone in an instant.

 

* * *

 

King Mallow sat at his throne and brooded, as he always did. The weather was cloudy, as usual. The castle was quiet, as it often was. And his servants tried their best to do their activities in silence, so as not to disturb him as he watched the door in front of him.

There were several scars across his face. He was not fit for marriage any longer, and so he would rule Nimbus Land with quiet power, as he was always fated to do.

He would seethe in anger and wait.

Wait until... something. He didn’t know. He didn’t make the rules.

As long as everyone was quiet and calm, he probably wouldn’t explode.

And naturally, at this moment, the castle doors slammed open and a Parakoopa came flapping in, holding a letter. “Delivery for King Mallow!” he shouted.

The Parakoopa handed him a letter and then bid his adieu. Mallow was left with a large envelope in his hands, encased with the royal seal of House Toadstool. What could this... be?

He opened it up, and what he saw brought a scowl to his face, his scars tensing up and lighting zipped out of his very being.

It was a series of photographs. Black-and-white, showing Princess Peach laughing while sitting by a fireplace in her castle. And next to her, holding hands with her, was none other than the Demon Lordess, the Molten Menace herself... Bowsette.

The Mushroom Kingdom was a sham. Princess Peach was a callous and devil of a woman. Mallow’s entire life had been ruined by that monster; she defeated him in combat, stole the precious Sonic Cymbals, and had the Mushroom Armies invade Nimbus Land, destroying his family in the process. And yet, despite all that, she was making her way back towards the throne without even the least bit resistance?

He crushed the photographs in his hands, and sparks flew out of his mouth while he growled.

Revenge was all he could think about.

 

* * *

 

Koopie Koo: oh my brighton are you ok

Lakilulu (<3): what

Koopie Koo: theres some koopas marching outside

Koopie Koo: if ur still at work pls stay there rn

Lakilulu: ok 

Lakilulu: im at a friends house but ill wait until later

Koopie Koo: thx im just worried... petalburg was supposed to b safe

Lakilulu: :/

Koopie Koo: im gonna keep working on my paper today i guess

Lakilulu: ok be safe koopie

Koopie Koo: <3

 

Koopie Koo: where r u

Lakilulu: sorry got held up im on my way

Koopie Koo: protestors are still here

Koopie Koo: try to sneak around back

Koopie Koo: or something

Koopie Koo: brighton i hope ur ok

Koopie Koo: did ur phone die

Koopie Koo: did U die

Koopie Koo: ok ive decided im just gonna cry myself to sleep now

Koopie Koo: lulu u suck

Koopie Koo: jk ilu 

Koopie Koo: lulu........

✔ Message Read 1:53 AM

 

Koopie Koo: Where are you? If you don’t tell me what’s happening I’m going to call the cops, or something. Please. I’m freaking out.

Koopie Koo: This is the last message I’ll send. I’m serious.

Lakilulu: something happened

Koopie Koo: omb omb lulu ur alright

Lakilulu: but i dont think youre going to be happy. im leaving petalburg

Koopie Koo: what the heck are you talking about

Lakilulu: i lied about last night

Lakilulu: i was at the protests. i marched with the other koopas because im tired of toads telling us what we can and cant do. its ridiculous

Koopie Koo: what

Koopie Koo: stop

Koopie Koo: dont be dumb you have work tomorrow youll be fired

Lakilulu: i dont care about work anymore. were propping up a business that supports the stuff that puts us down

Lakilulu: you may be better off bc youre a pretty koopa and even goombas probably like you. but im a lakitu and its different. you probably dont understand

Lakilulu: i love you but im going to support my friends

Koopie Koo: just come back or im gonna hate u forever

Koopie Koo: dont make me hate u forever bc ilu

Lakilulu: you might love someone who cheers you on but if you really loved me youd understand how im feeling. i dont think you do.

Koopie Koo: baby

Lakilulu: you cant call me that anymore

Koopie Koo: lulu what the heck

Koopie Koo: please come back

Koopie Koo: its too dangerous and ur going to die and ill hate u forever and ill never b able to love again augh ur the worst

Koopie Koo: ilu

Koopie Koo: I’m sorry

✔ Message Read 4:13 PM


	50. Chapter 50: The Reckoning of the Mushroom Kingdom

Chapter 50: The Reckoning of the Mushroom Kingdom

The Koopa Bros Fortress prison had been secretly evacuated and nobody told her. There were massive protests-turned-riots in Petalburg and nobody told her. She was about to leave the Mushroom Kingdom and she had been left completely in the dark about her own people.

She slapped Toadsworth in the face. "Why would I have gone to Isle Delfino if I knew there was chaos on the streets? Why didn't you tell me?"

"M-my Princess, dear..." But Toadsworth didn't have a clear answer to give her.

"Perhaps I'm not the ruler I thought I was," she said.

"Oh, don't say that, Princess..."

Bowsette jumped from the balcony and then stopped six inches from the ground, floating with her dress. She had a large backpack on behind her shell and her wings had sprouted briefly before she landed.

It was a mistake to ever help her, Peach realized. For the safety and stability of the Mushroom Kingdom, it was a mistake. Bringing to the castle and going to foreign lands this former despot was always going to unsettle the populace. And they didn't even know about her yet. She was going to be leaving her kingdom in its time of greatest need, and she had to because it would otherwise mean the end of the entire Earth.

And because she cared too much.

It was so complicated, so confusing- that is why she felt so suddenly unfit to be a ruler.

Peach crossed her arms. "You certainly took long enough."

"Huh?" Bowsette tilted her head to the side.

"We have to leave before the workday starts or the press is sure to spot us."

"Do I have to wear that stupid bodyguard outfit again?"

At this moment, the third member of the group, Toadette, arrived in her archivist outfit. It wasn't THAT kind of adventure, but Peach hardly cared at this point.

"Let's go," Peach said. "Toadsworth.. I expect you to report in all the kingdom's dealings with me while I am gone. Twice daily, send letters to my P.O. boxes. Or else it will be the end of your career. Do you understand me?"

"I...I... Yes, m'lady." His cap drooped down.

Bowsette laid her hand gently on her arm. "You okay?"

"Never better," Peach lied.

"Should we... get to the underground entrance, then?"

"You know what?" Peach shot her head forward and began walking to the front door. "I'm not going to lie to my people anymore. I want them to know who I am as a ruler. Come on out with me Bowsette."

Sure enough, as soon as they stepped outside there were reporters and protestors and supporters gathered all over the castle grounds; apparently the entrance gate had been broken down and her good-for-nothing guards had failed to stop the onslaught of people. This was the perfect time for those jailbroken Koopa Troop militia members to come in and try to wreak havoc, too.

But Peach felt far too upset with herself to care too much about that.

She grabbed Bowsette's hand and forced her to step up to the castle entrance with her, where the two greeted these hundreds if not thousands of people. The ruckus quickly stopped as they realized what was going on.

"My dear Mushroom Kingdom citizens," Peach began. "I have an announcement to make. I have made my pardon of Bowsette official, and she had accepted my gift of a royal power-up, the Super Crown. With equanimity I have decided that it will be best for our nation if we are to make peace with each other, not to fight. And that is my token of that.

"Because of an important and time-sensitive issue, Bowsette and I must go forth on a diplomatic mission and will be travelling within and without the Mushroom Kingdom for a brief period. All I can add to this is, if you are disappointed in me, then I apologize. If I am not the ruler you wanted, then I apologize. If you want me to reverse course on these decisions of mine, then I also apologize. It will not happen."

The crowd was completely silent as Peach, Bowsette, and Toadette stepped into the Royale, Peach's personal vehicle, and drove away from the castle grounds.

"Wow," Bowsette said. She and Toadette were crammed together in the back seat. "World's really going to shit, ain't it?"

"Yeah."

"Also, didn't know you could drive."

"I'm a princess, not a mongrel. Of course I can drive."

"Geez, it was a joke..."

"Maybe it's not the best time for jokes, Bowsette."

From the rear-view mirror, Peach saw Bowsette's face turn red and her body slump over. Toadette was also pretending like she wasn't listening so she didn't have to get involved in the conversation.

They stayed quiet the rest of their trip. It was a very long way to Whomp's Fortress, however.


	51. Chapter 51: Calming Her Down

#  Chapter 51: Calming Her Down

They had stopped at a Barrel Baron off Toad’s Turnpike to get some gas for the car, but Peach had tasked Bowsette with that, and she and Toadette went inside to use the restroom.

What, they just assumed Bowsette didn’t have to pee? She was a human too, you know! No, she didn’t have to pee. She still didn’t want to stand around here in the musty air pumping gasoline. 

Bowsette wasn’t sure what the normal gas price was in the further reaches of the Mushroom Kingdom, but fifteen coins a gallon seemed absurdly high. All the insurrections in various places in the Mushroom Kingdom were really hurting the economy, and that rat Lumpy had apparently taken control of most of the kingdom’s oil reserves thanks to business deals with the dissident regions. Shiver City was the lone holdout, but the mayor there had been fervently requesting more autonomy.

Bowsette and Peach would be going to Shiver City fairly soon, though. They’d deal with him soon enough.

Ugh, though now that it would be such a public event she wasn’t sure she could do any strongarm intimidation tactics. She could like, arm wrestle people for good deals or whatever, but no beating up was going to be allowed, that was for sure. Bowsette really wished Peach had been a little bit more covert about it and just hid away the search of the Generals as some sort of vague diplomatic goodwill tour. That way them going everywhere might have attracted some GOOD attention too, ya know.

Ah, whatever. Peach’s mistakes were incredibly minor when compared to her own. She was never going to be able to outrun hers, try as hard as she did.

Bowsette remembered what Mario had said about accepting the actions she took for their good effects and not for the negative ones. she wasn’t actually sure she should believe that. It seemed too... easy, somehow.

Soon, Toadette came outside, holding some Standard Chocolates and a Wild Elixir. Was she planning to absolutely pig out during this trip, or was she going to share that? Because Bowsette didn’t mind some junk food at all, herself...

“Hey, got something for me?” Bowsette asked. The tank in the Royale was full so she put the gasoline nozzle back in its holder and cracked her knuckles for a job well done, because that was a good thing to do when jobs were well done. 

“Nope. All mine,” Toadette said. “I need my energy!”

“You’re so lame. I... I don’t have any coins.”

Toadette shook her head. “You’re the King... Queen... Lordess... whatever of a whole kingdom! No way you’re broke.”

“I WAS,” Bowsette corrected. “Now I am a bum. And as for my title, Lordess is like, my general overall thing. For my ruler status I used to go by Queen a lot, but now I’m honestly starting to prefer King Koopa again. Is that weird if I’m a girl?”

“Why would you go by King? That’s a bit weird.” Toadette unwrapped her first chocolate and began gorging on it.

Bowsette leaned against the hood of the car and tried to think about her line of reasoning. “It’s a stronger term, maybe? I mean, I can’t say I wasn’t pretty sexist in the past, but I think even now Queen is more referring to.. the King’s wife, rather than the iron-fisted ruler of a nation. I think anyone should be able to be King, even if it’s a girl, and the girl’s husband has to have some lesser title like Archduke or whatever. I’m the King so I get to make up the rules.”

“It does sound pretty cool. You think if you and Peach got married that you’d still be King, or she’d be King?”

“Hey now, don’t get so forward about that. We haven’t even...”

Toadette narrowed her eyes. “I know you two. I know you’ve talked about it by now.”

“You are really getting the wrong idea here!” Bowsette yelled. “We certainly aren’t that far ahead to be able to be talking about anything like that!”

“What are we not ahead on?” Peach asked. She had come out of the convenience store as well and was sipping on a Super Soda. Her hair was also now up in a bun.

“N-n-n-n-nothing!!!” Bowsette’s face flushed and she got in the back seat immediately.

Toadette climbed in too and nudged her as she munched on her chocolate. “She’d be the King, right?” she whispered.

“I don’t know. Shut up.”

Peach seemed utterly confused, but she was in a better mood. Bowsette was an adult and could admit that she would probably marry Peach in a heartbeat given the right circumstances, and had kidnapped the woman enough times to do exactly that, but this time was a bit different. She didn’t want any stupid word like “marriage” ruining this before it started!

...And yeah, she’d probably let Peach call herself King in that case.


	52. Chapter 52: Pick-Up

Chapter 52: Pick-Up

There was a blockage in the road somewhere around the Mushroom Bridge. Technically it would be the type that would be beneficial; there were a ton of mushrooms lying on the ground, and if the Royale barreled through them it'd go into superspeed for several moments and save them a ton of time.

But there was also an overturned pick-up truck with some Shy Guys sitting by the side that really looked like they needed help. Bowsette only had a Bowser Phone and Cellular shopper so she wasn't good for actually contacting anyone of any worth, but Peach probably had something... So the three of them pulled over and got out of the car.

Peach squatted down to eye-level and smiled. "Hiya," she said. "Do you guys need any help?"

The Shy Guys looked at her and then kept chattering among themselves, like they didn't understand her language or something.

"Actions speak louder than words," Bowsette told Peach. She went over to the pick-up truck and exerted all her strength to turn it over back on its wheels. There.

She clapped her hands together and then put them on her hips to celebrate a great victory. "You're welcome, free of charge, here you go. Shy Guy Bazaar is six exits up ahead."

The Shy Guys turned and clapped to her.

"See Peach, sometimes diplomacy and words can't help, but a good demonstration can."

"I see," Peach said. "But you may have overlooked one thing."

"What's that?"

"The Snifit over there pointing at us."

Actually, there were seven Snifits, and the Shy Guys soon drew slingshots of their own, surrounding the three. Toadette fainted almost immediately.

"Hand over the princess or this gets ugly," the head Snifit, wearing a green suit, said.

"Do you have any idea who we are?" Bowsette asked.

"Yeah, Princess Toadstool and, uh, party of two..." the Snifit took out a piece of paper to read it. "The instructions were... very clear..."

Bowsette grinned. She walked up to the Snifit and grabbed them by the collar, then sprouted wings and flew twenty feet into the air. "Seeya around." She tossed the Snifit so far they went past the curvature of the Earth, never to be seen again.

She came back down to the ground, let out a weak roar, and the other Shy Guys went scurrying away.

"We have actual highway bandits on our tails now? Or, uh, my tail and you guys's butts?" Bowsette asked. "That's the worst."

"No, THAT'S the worst," Peach said as some Bandits hopped in the Royale and took off.

Great. Now they were stranded.

Peach rolled her eyes and said, "So much for-"

"I know. I get it."

"-for showing a demonstration."

"I KNOW."


	53. Chapter 53: Dead Tired at Whomp Fortress

Chapter 53: Dead Tired at Whomp Fortress

After hitchhiking for another two days' time and getting in TWO more fights with Shy Guys that had tried to jump them, Bowsette, Peach, and Toadette finally made it to Whomp Fortress, floating island in the sky. Two Whomps guarded the entrance and looked particularly dopey this time.

"You guys look pretty nice," Bowsette said. "You mind letting us use this lift here to see your boss?"

The Whomps made absolutely no change in expression, no movement at all. That was probably the most likely reaction to be had here. But Bowsette knew she needed to control her temper, so she breathed in and out with herself, allowing her lungs to breathe without fire coming out of her nose like it usually did in times like these.

Then Toadette jumped at them and began hitting away at their rocky bodies with her weak stubby arms. "Let! Us! In! We're too tired! Let us rest!"

Why did they let Toadette go on this trip with them again?

...Oh, that's why. The Whomps, petrified by this Toad's brazen act of hostility, stepped aside and let them enter.

They soared into the sky and entered Whomp Fortress itself, a towering structure built to defend against any type of assault, anywhere in the planet. It slowly moved across the continent, but at this time rest in the Midlands in the point between Dark Land and Mushroom World, a mostly-lawless area home to many smaller and more tribal communities. The Shy Guys generally made their home around here, as did breakaway Toad factions. One spot Bowsette hadn't been to but could see from here was the Dino Dino Jungle, the homeland to the plentiful Dorrie species. She felt like she was created to go see those behemoths run around a vast enclosed jungle, and probably to beat a few of them up too as she did last time she met the T-Rex in the Cascade Kingdom. Life wasn't all about fighting, but sometimes... it just needed to happen.

"So, you told us that the Whomp King helped out, but you never said how," Toadette said. "Wanna give us the background?"

Peach raised her eyebrows at her. "Go ahead."

"Eh, my backstory and stuff is kinda... complicated..." Bowsette put a hand behind her head and rubbed her neck.

Peach took her other hand and squeezed it tightly within hers. Too tightly. Ow. Owwww. "You're going to tell us, right?"

"Yeah, yeah," Bowsette said. "Okay, so I had Seven Generals by my side when I went to fight Morton Koopa, gathering up their own armies and unifying them into the Koopa Troop you know today. It took me years to go around recruiting the best of the bunch, and I had to beat most of them in fights to make them submit to me. But I was young, I was strong, and I persevered.

"Whomp King was the third General I took under my command, so pretty early on but I had enough experience to deal with him. Not too difficult, a huge difference from the second one. Which was Goomboss, bless his soul.

"He had the fortress just like this back then, and it was floating around the continent just like this. But after I beat him, I got him to steer it towards Dark Land so that we could use the whole place as a massive airship and flagship for our whole fleet. It worked pretty well, but the whole thing almost came crashing down from the sheer damage done to it. Morton was... very powerful."

"How powerful is he now?" Toadette asked.

"As Dry Morton? About twice as strong as me in this form, I'd say. But if he is able to bring himself back to life... We probably can't stop him."

"So what is our specific plan here, then?" Peach asked. "Convince the Whomp King to join our cause and once again donate his fortress to help us?"

"That's the goal," Bowsette said. "But after the war he was one of the first Generals to functionally leave us. I don't know how he will react now, since it's been so long..."

* * *

"I thought you'd never ask," said Whomp King. "I've been waiting for another battle like that for decades!"

"Uh... really?" Bowsette asked. "No strings attached? No hidden motives?"

"Listen up, Lady Bowser."

"Bowsette."

"Listen up. We Whomps are not a peaceful people. We are giant slabs of rock and our main purpose in life is to flatten things. Up here in the fortress we get to do that maybe, once a year when Mario comes stomping through for whatever reason? It's pretty boring these days. I was thinking about invading the Mushroom Kingdom just for the heck of it."

"That would not have been appreciated," Peach said.

"Well anyway, you're saying Morton is back, and that's bad news for the planet. He was a bad hombre."

"So, you're in? Officially? That easy?"

"Yep."

"Put'er here." Bowsette extended her hand for a handshake, but Whomp King didn't reciprocate, because his hands were too much of nubs to really do anything with. Oops. "I really though you were going to challenge me to a duel or something."

"Well, I heard about you taking over the Mushroom Kingdom. I already know you've still got your stuff. I can still remember the day you used me as a battering ram and stormed a fortress with no backup whatsoever! Those were the days!"

"Kakaka... Yeah, they were..." She almost missed them.

"So... I can't imagine I was your first choice. Who've we got already?"

"Actually... you were the first. I have an, uh, ally who's been asking people, but the other Generals I pretty much need to convince myself. Except, no Goomboss, of course, and no King Bob-omb because he's still aligned with Dark Land for some inexplicable reason. General Guy's fighting in some rebellion too, last I heard So that makes... just King Boo and Crystal King left to talk to?" Man, Bowsette really hoped Nabbit actually pulled through with some extra help, because the original Generals were almost fresh out. Maybe they'd get Big Bertha or something this time.

Peach counted on her fingers. "Wait, Bowsette, that's only six Generals. I thought you said there were seven?"

Whomp King let out a hearty laugh. "To her there's only six, that's for sure!"

Peach raised an eyebrow.

"It's not important," said Bowsette. "We'll get seven new Generals and it'll be all cool with explosions and fighting and stuff. Whomp King, thank you for being easy."

"I'm saving it all for the battlefield, old friend," he said. "See you then."

Now it was time to go see King Boo, and for that they would need to go to Boo's Mansion near the Gusty Gulch, not too far from here. Only, Bowsette and King boo hadn't been on the best terms lately. That was going to be fun...


	54. Chapter 54: King Boo and His Request

Chapter 54: King Boo and His Request

"I'M DONE. I WANT TO DIE. I JUST WANT TO DIE."

Toadette was clearly not happy with the fact that they had stumbled into the Forever Forest and wasted half a day getting lost in a maze of trees and ghosts and Piranha Plants popping up out of the ground to attack.

Bowsette was losing all of her energy, even after a nice dinner and rest at Whomp Fortress a couple days ago, but she still didn't know how Toadette could be constantly complaining like this. Didn't she know complaining was the perfect way to continue feeling even worse about herself?

...She realized she was being a hypocrite but she wasn't going to think about that fact anymore because Bowsette's self-misery powers were far beyond the complaining stage at this point.

Anyway, they had finally reached Boo's Mansion, one of the many Ghost Houses in the eastern half of the continent that MAY have held King Boo. This was where he was last reported to have been, at least, and where his daughter usually made her stay, but he could be almost literally anywhere. Toadette did not know this, of course.

Bowsette knocked on the doors to the mansion and they swung open automatically. Sigh, they were going to get spooked a lot and all that annoying stuff, weren't they...

Some Boos were gathered dancing in a circle above them, one of those fun Boo Buddy Snakes that would soon be jumping at them ready for a deathly stare. Bowsette was ready for a fight, and heated up some fire in her mouth just in case. However, she had to swallow it when King Boo himself came floating down, his tongue sticking out and yucking it up.

"Yuck yuck yuck yuck!" he yucked. Some ghostly spit fell off of his tongue and splashed on the floor.

"Yuck," Toadette said.

"I always KNEW you'd come crawling back to me someday!" King Boo exclaimed. "After all that talk... you needed me after all!"

Bowsette rolled her eyes. "It's not exactly a decision I came to on my own free will," she said. "It's a desperate hour."

Peach nudged her. "Can you give us the backstory here?"

A giant desk flew out of one of the second-story rooms and crashed on the floor nearby, shaking the ground and causing Toadette to faint once again. A nice trick, but it wasn't going to faze Bowsette.

"Yeah, I'll tell it to you and him," she said. "King Boo was my sixth General, one who I had to track down through rumor and hearsay, the longest search of my life." She began addressing the king directly. "Because of your vast network of Ghost Houses and evil mansions you can transport your people anywhere you want, at any point you want, and any non-ghost finding you would be incredibly difficult. But I caught you, and I forced you to pledge to my service. And you proved extremely valuable, just as you will this time."

"Very presumptuous!"

"But it was not until recently that I realized how despicable of a dude you are," Bowsette said. "Not until you kidnapped Mario and dressed up like ME to fool everybody. What the heck? Who does that?"

"And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that pesky plumber!"

"If you hadn't been beaten by Luigi, that might have caused an international incident, man! Mario's a war hero! You just don't kidnap that dude unless you want to start a war!"

"Wait, you're lecturing someone on kidnapping etiquette?" Peach asked.

"Yes, because there is a lot of nuance involved here," Bowsette said. "You understand, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. But your Odyssey deal was definitely a breach of that etiquette in my opinion. You really messed that one up."

"I was trying to beat K. Rool to the punch and I made a plan that was too hasty. I'm sorry..." She turned her attention back to the Boo at hand. "So King Boo has been officially excluded from the Dark Land Vassal State Network. He is now an independent agent of terror and sedition, unsanctioned by any official government."

"Yuck yuck yuck! And I persist! But.. that's not the only reason you banned me, huh? Not forgetting about our little... spat?"

Peach looked at the two with suspicious eyes. "You mean... No, you two didn't..."

"Just a little bit," Bowsette said. "It was nothing. He's always really blowing it up. It had nothing to do with the rest of any of it." She absolutely refused to divulge any more than that.

"No worries! I am a free spirit, just like I always have been. Uh, since I died and became a ghost that is. Lower him!"

A rope extended below from the ceiling and attached to that rope was a tied but, shaking Luigi. "He came about a week before you, blabbing about some secret mission and some Bowsette General stuff. So I already know all the details. It's too bad he couldn't give me what I wanted. I mean, the thing I MOST want." King Boo stuck out his tongue and licked Luigi across the face, leaving a ghostly trail of spit behind.

"Bowsette! Heeeeelp!" Luigi cried.

"So then, what do you most want?" Bowsette asked. "We might be able to grant it, unless it's keeping Luigi, in which case, please hand him back. He's too precious."

"Nah, Luigi can stay or not on his own accord," King Boo said. "What I want is something he can't give me..."

"...And...?"

"I want a Super Crown!" he shouted, before flying around the mansion in random directions, laughing.

Bowsette looked at Peach. Peach fiercely shook her head.

"Absolutely not," Peach said. "These are not toys. They are royal power-ups, and are extremely rare and powerful."

"I mean, the fate of the world might rest on this..."

"But... the Super Crowns aren't supposed to be for this..."

Oh wait. Bowsette actually had never figured this one out. "Peach, what ARE Super Crowns for?"

"They mainly exist to make body doubles of myself to confuse assassins," Peach said. "But since I'm usually safe enough to avoid that, the entire cache is locked away except when needed."

"So what you're saying is, I'm basically your body double to take a Bullet Bill for you?"

"Well, if you had used it for its intended purpose, yes," Peach replied. "But since you're not a Toad, you look too different for it to work. And you seem to be very comfortable in that body anyway, so I didn't think it was important to tell you that."

"Well... it's weird that I have bonded so deeply with such a strangely specific power-up. But that's okay." Bowsette looked up and put her hands on her crown. "How do you lose the power-up, anyway? Take too much damage? Or can you pull it off?"

"Um, yeah, you just pull it off and it comes off like any other power-up," Peach said. "Have you never... tried it before?"

"No," she answered. "I thought about it once, but except for the times I met the Mushroom Soul I have never been without it. Is that weird?"

"Are you... healthy?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"No sudden psychosis developing where you are suddenly starting to think you are me?"

"Obviously not."

"Well then... you're the only one who's worn it more than a week straight who hasn't gone mentally insane or collapsed from the exhaustion. It must be a good fit for you, then."

Ha. Ha. Bowsette was wearing a power-up that had been proven to be dangerous to the mind. And she hadn't willingly taken it off in almost a year. Amazing.

"Are you done yucking?" King Boo asked. "I want a Super Crown, and then I'll help you kill your dad again. Alright? I want to know what it feels like to be a half-human princess. It's been my fantasy for centuries! I want to be Booette!"

Peach shook her head. "King Boo, these items are very dangerous. Besides Bowsette-"

"Do I look mentally stable to you now? I don't care about any of that! Gimme gimme."

Toadette woke up from passing out, and the first thing she saw was King Boo's tongue floating twelve inches from her face. She fainted again instantly.

"Uh, I'll go send for another one and we can try to get it to you by the end of the week," Peach said.

"Nope! I want it now! Or else Luigi gets licked again!"

"Peach! Please! Noooooo!" Luigi screamed.

"I'll... I'll give you mine," said Bowsette. "I don't know if that will be enough for you but if it will help us then that's fine."

"That'll do," King Boo said. "Gimme gimme."

Bowsette put her hands on the Super Crown, gripped them. She tried to pull it off, but... something inside her was stopping her. It wasn't that she couldn't do it... she wouldn't do it. She wasn't willing to do it.

"...No. I can't," Bowsette said. "I can't. This is my body now. I changed my mind. This Super Crown is me, and it can't be anywhere else but on my head."

"Aw, little baby's too scared to go without her protective shell?" King Boo taunted.

Bowsette began to growl. "Listen up here, punk," she screeched. "You might want a Super Crown for your perverse little fantasies, but it's different for me. Before I found this, I was a sad, lonely loser who felt nothing but self-hatred in her heart, trapped in a body she hates. I might still be a sad, lonely loser who feels nothing but self-hatred in her heart, but at least I feel like I'm inside of something I enjoy. I look in the mirror and I can smile at myself. And that's more important than letting you have the privilege of serving alongside me in my new army."

"Shit," King Boo said. "Sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"Shut it. Let Luigi go, and join my army, and if we win you can have a Super Crown afterwards and we'll give Luigi back. Deal? Deal." Bowsette breathed a small ember from her mouth. "If not, I'm just going to kill you and take your Boos for myself."

"Uh, alright, deal." King Boo put his transparent hand over the rope holding Luigi up and it disappeared; he fell to the floor and hit his head, but he was probably okay.

Peach looked at Bowsette, mouth agape. Bowsette said nothing. Her work here was done. Off to find the Crystal King now.


	55. Chapter 55: The Secret Army

Chapter 55: The Secret Army

The Chancellor knew who held the real power in the Mushroom Kingdom, all his life. It wasn't the Mushroom King who held dominion over the lands and made all final decisions. The Royal Family was for show, for publicity and morale. It most certainly wasn't the seven kings of the main territorial Lands that made up most of the Mushroom Kingdom's claims. Those men and women were fickle and had no business ruling besides the menial governor-like powers they were granted by the Mushroom Kingdom itself. If the Mushroom Kingdom were to collapse, so too would their "autonomous" rules.

No, it was the Chancellor himself. The one who dealt with all the day-to-day governmental works, the one who deliberated with the councils and generals, the one who analyzed the daily reports and made the decisions for the rulers to sign off on.

He thought that, after her parents had passed away, Princess Peach would have been an easy target to bend to his will. Her father had initially resisted his touch in many ways, opting for a more expansionist agenda that unified the many territories around the Mushroom Kingdom. That gave the kingdom more area, more resources, more wealth, but it turned the kingdom into a conglomeration of diversity. Too many races, too many competing interests, too much possibility for failure. If they had just stuck with the humans, and the Toads, and whatever other creatures may have wandered in by accident, they would have been able to survive the recent struggles just fine. But they grew too far. The King began to phase out of this, especially once the new, more ambitious King Koopa assumed power, but soon he was gone... and Peach was far too independent in her own life.

She had gone too far past publicity and goodwill. She was generating bad publicity by keeping that Bowsette menace alongside her, giving the Mushroom Kingdom the bad name it had gotten in its expansionist days. The seven Kings had been growing weary of a woman ruler so young she still went by the self-imposed title Princess, deciding everything that the Mushroom Kingdom, the entire Mushroom World had in this world.

Absolute rule under House Toadstool had been the reason that Bowsette was so easily able to radically change the Mushroom Kingdom so quickly. She simply set her armies to attack the peaceful neighbors around them, enraging everyone and finally cementing that jingoistic, negative attitude everyone had been forming for so long now. Bowsette was the catalyst, and had set fire to the string that would ignite the bomb soon enough.

The fuse had still not been triggered. But it was close. And when it did, the Chancellor wanted to be the fire hydrant to put it out. He was the Ice Flower.

Toadsworth, that petty, groveling little man, served dutifully but moaned and groaned the whole way, as if his morals were constantly getting in the way. How he was able to stand working so directly with the Princess was beyond him. But it had clearly rotted his ability to be an effective leader to the core, so the Chancellor had no choice but to treat him like a subordinate, rather than a partner.

So at this moment, he stood in the back of the room, while the Chancellor stood in front, proudly watching as his new militia was being officially formed.

It consisted of many abhorrent types. Renzors and Rexes, Chain Chomps and Wigglers. A few Pianta gangsters and three Pink Yoshis with scars covering their faces. And one Dry Bones, withered and decayed. This was not something that the Mushroom Kingdom would ever employ in any official capacity. Which was good, because any ability to trace this back to him would be ruinous.

"Listen, my friends," the Chancellor said. "You are part of a Secret Army. You were rescued by me, cast free by the future ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. I have been supplied with the finances necessary to sustain any operations you wish to undertake, as long as you do so covertly. I will approve any missions you request that require higher capacity of monetary investment, but you are otherwise given free reign to do as you wish. All I ask is this: I want you to destroy the Mushroom Kingdom."

"And what's stopping us from killing you?" a Rex asked.

"When you were imprisoned, you each had a microchip inserted into your bodies. Micro-Bob-ombs that will detonate on my command if you defy me. Do not defy me, and I will not only have them removed when I take full power, but I will also give you your own official military command. You will be considered heroes. But for now.. you will be the Koopa Troop."

It was all lies. There were no microchips, and these soldiers would be disavowed the moment they were deemed useless. But they bought into it, and they were going to attack. Jailbroken prisoners running loose, affiliated with the Mushroom Kingdom's greatest enemy, collaborating with Koopa Resistance members in order to discredit their own organizations... it was the perfect plan to cause the utter collapse of social order in the kingdom.

It was the perfect plan.


	56. Chapter 56: On the Train

#  Chapter 56: On the Train

Peach really wished she could have gotten the Royale back, but even after sending the police force after this extremely custom car in a bright pink color, there was no trace of it to be found. The Bandits that stole it were clearly crafty individuals, especially since they teamed up with the Shy Guys and Snifits to... intimidate her? She was very confused at this juncture what was even going on.

Because of that, though, their next stop in the quest to recruit seven Generals for Bowsette’s new army was far up in the north of the Mushroom Kingdom, in the Autonomous Nation of Shiver City. They had been a breakaway state briefly, when Bowsette first took control of the Mushroom Kingdom, but they settled for a new territorial status that granted the Bumpies more independence while still having oversight from the Mushroom Kingdom. This was almost exactly the same as how the kingdom operated with the seven Mushroom World Kings that had been a part of the Mushroom Kingdom for over an eon. It was very likely that they were displeased that an eighth autonomous territory had been elevated to equal status without their consent.

And because they lacked a private vehicle, apparently a train on the Star Express line was the quickest and safest way to go. They got a private cabin, where Toadette was passed out asleep on one of the two bunk beds, and Bowsette was brooding while staring out the window, but it still felt like it was a little... low-class for them to be doing this.

Peach was a but snooty, she admitted. But she WAS the Sovereign Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom, Channel to the Cosmos. She’d never had a life outside royalty, and had lived in her own castle since she was born. She’d been ruler of the entire kingdom since she was twelve, to boot. How was she ever just going to go around and do whatever she wanted?

Now, Peach and Tiara had had a good two weeks vacationing around the world and exploring the various places that Bowsette had taken them in her most recent kidnapping plot. But two weeks was hardly enough to do anything but take some cute photographs and sign far too many pictures from adoring fans and possible stalkers.

How she wished that this adventuring and life-risking would somehow turn into a magical romantic getaway...

She was determined to get Bowsette out of that dress as soon as possible. They had very nearly consumated the tension between them after Bowsette woke up from her coma, but Peach felt that it wasn’t the right time, not then. And ever since then one of the two was in a bad mood. Peach at first, too angry with her kingdom falling apart around her. Bowsette, too angry at... King Boo, she guessed? It was hard to figure out what was going on in her head from how little she actually expressed herself. But since they left the Forever Forest (getting out was so much easier than getting in) Bowsette had rebuffed almost every advance Peach made towards her. 

And right now, she was simply staring out the window, a discontented frown and slight scowl marking her face.

Peach sat in the seat across from her and tapped one knuckle against the window. “Hey, don’t scowl too much,” she said. “You don’t want to get wrinkles too soon in your new body. You’ve only had it for a few months, now.” She wasn’t even sure if Super Crown-enabled bodies could get things like blemishes or wrinkles, or even age at all. Nobody had ever worn one long enough, and the power was completely untapped for any other scientific or magic endeavors. It was quite disappointing how little transformation research was pursued outside of Duplighosts and on Yoshi’s Island.

If only Peach actually knew anything about magic or science, maybe she could have become some serious researcher who knew tons and could change the world... but instead she studied to be the ruler of a kingdom and pretty much nothing else. Geopolitical diplomacy was not a useful skill outside, uh, geopolitical diplomacy.

“New body...” Bowsette muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” she said. She didn’t make eye contact at all while saying this.  She must have been really upset.

Peach, not having been too well-versed in the realm of informal social interaction either, leaned forward and put a hand on Bowsette’s lap. This only seemed to annoy her further, though.

“Am I broken?” she asked, pulling her legs away from Peach’s reach.

This was not the first time she had asked that to her.

“No,” Peach said. “Of course not. I’ll give you the same answer I gave you before: you just have to figure out what makes you happy and stick to that.”

“But what if I’m just good at fooling myself into thinking I’m happy? Wearing the Super Crown, trying to redeem myself by saving the world-- it’s all just a cover for the fact that I’m unfixable.”

“Are you... upset about the other day, with King Boo, still?” Peach asked.

“Yeah, I sure am.” So it was that after all. “And pretty much everything else, too. I’ve been upset for a long time. Every time I find something that makes me happy, it doesn’t actually fix things, it just helps me ignore them. Like the Super Crown is all just a sham.”

“Aw, Bowsette, you need to stop focusing on this sort of stuff.”

Toadette started sitting up and stretching her arms while yawning. “Guys... can you keep it down...?”

Peach tried to keep it to a whisper. “Bowsette... I love you, and I think that you’re overthinking things way too much is all,” Peach said.

“Probably.” Bowsette got up and stretched herself. “I’m going to go bring back some food. I’ll try to get in a better mood before I get back. What do you want?”

“Spicy Soup. Even if you’re not okay... I’ll still listen to whatever you have to say.”

“And if I don’t want to talk, either?” Bowsette asked.

“Well, we got a two-bed compartment for a reason.” Peach pointed back to the bottom bunk.

“With Toadette above?” Bowsette could barely keep her voice low at this. “Holy shit, you really are just trying to get into my blouse.”

“Busted.”

She brought back two Spicy Soups. They talked, they looked out the window a while, and eventually they went to sleep, Peach in the bed and Bowsette laid out on the seat cushions.


	57. Chapter 57: City of Ice

Chapter 57: In the City of Ice

This was going to be their toughest shot.

Bowsette hadn't spoken to Crystal King in decades. He worked together back when Bowsette had captured all the Star Spirits by hiding one of them away, but even then they had made no direct contact, preferring to handle the communication between lesser representatives.

They hadn't even had a tough past, either; Crystal King was simply done with that phase of his life, apparently. At least that's all she'd been able to gather in all the time since then.

But for now, Bowsette and her two guests had just detrained at Shiver City Station, and the Mayor of Shiver City was there to greet them.

"Welcome, welcome, my fabulous guest...s..." Oh, there he was, looking at Bowsette with bewilderment. At this point she was used to the greeting, but she still hadn't figured out how to tell the difference between those surprised that the Lordess Herself, Wrecker of Households had arrived in their lives, and those who were just taken aback by her physical appearance.

Before you say anything, yeah, she was wearing her exact same outfit even in the snow. She was a fire-breathing dragon-turtle; she wasn't cold, don't worry.

"I trust our accommodations are in order?" Peach asked.

"Yes, of course," the mayor said. "There have been several reports forwarded to your hotel room for your reading pleasure and we have booked you three of our finrest suites."

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Peach said. "We only need two." Bowsette's breath went cold all of a sudden, as the blood rushed to her cheeks. "One for Toadette and myself will be fine."

"Of course, of course. As you wish."

Toadette began to speak "Actually-"

"Yes, that is what we wish."

The mayor left to go confirm some more things while several Bumpies skated up to the girls and took their bags away and towards the hotels. Bowsette had gotten used holding to that giant backpack but maaaaaan it felt good to have that off her back. She'd like to take her shell off, too, but she wasn't going to let her guard down just yet. This place was snowy and cheery, as it apparently was year-round, but she didn't trust it one bit.

She had good reason to. She knew that they were being followed.

As they began walking away from the train platform, Toadette looked at peach and asked, "Why'd you let them book a room for me? You know I was going to visit my cousin while you guys go to the castle or whatever."

"Just in case," Peach said. "If anyone wanted to attack us in plain sight, the hotel would be the perfect place to do it. So... that's our insurance."

"So I'm a decoy?!" she shouted.

"Shhh. No, your ROOM is a decoy."

Toadette still wasn't taking it well, though.

Near the center of the town, there was a Duplighost lying in wait, riding a Reznor on its back. "Hello," he said to them.

"I trust our accommodations are in order?" asked Bowsette, mirroring Peach's formal tone as best she could.

"I have relayed your message to the Crystal King. If he finds favor with you, I will appear again in the form of a beautiful Bumpie female and escort you. You will not miss me."

With that, the Reznor disappeared and turned into a Duplighost; the other was now standing on their shoulders. "Goodbye," the two said before turning into Swoops and flittering away.

"I hope we can reach him soon," Bowsette said. "I am not keen on the idea of fighting our way through Crystal Palace."

"I'm not keen on fighting at all," Peach said.

"It might be unavoidable this time."

And Bowsette was right. Fighting would be unavoidable, They just didn't realize from who.


	58. Chapter 58: God of Thunder

Chapter 58: God of Thunder

Mallow had risked his very existence in staking claim to Traitor Peach and the Depraved Lordess here in the middle of Shiver City like this. He could have easily assaulted them in the Forever Forest, or when they were walking along Koopa Path towards the train, or on the train itself.

But he wanted this to be public. He wanted the world to see what had happened to him, and what would happen to them.

He was no longer Mallow, Prince of Nimbus Land. He was Mallow, God of Thunder. And he would protect the realm of the sky from these evils.

Also, the Toad girl was complicit, even if she looked pretty unassuming. He was going to kill her too.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" he screamed at the top of his cloud-based lungs as he jumped out of the shadow and lunged towards the main two targets with jagged lightning bolts in his hands.

He very nearly stabbed Peach in the chest except that Bowsette slid in the way, her shell in the back taking the brunt of the impact and absorbing most of the electrical shock itself. It damaged her overall but not nearly as much as a direct hit would have.

But he had his second shot, and aimed to slice the lightning bolt right into Bowsette's heart. He missed, but still stuck it right in her arm, where it caught the girl in a frenzy of sparks and electrocution.

Or should Mallow say... the man. For this was no mere evil humanoid villain. This "Bowsette" was all just a cover, a ruse for the man behind the mask- the devious Bowser!

The two had fought together, once, against the tyrannical Smithy and his industrial armies. That would no longer be the case ever again, as Mallow had declared Bowser to be his mortal and everlasting enemy.

As the shock wore off, Mallow jumped backwards and pointed fiercely at the group. He let more lightning build up within himself to further illuminate the hideous scars over his face. "You will know in these closing moments of your life what pain truly feels like," he said. "The pain of losing loved ones, of having your life torn apart and reassembled by a sloppy seamstress. The energy that will course through you should shake every fiber of your being right to its core, right before your cells burst and your atoms burn up into the atmosphere."

"What? Mallow? What are you doing here?" Peach asked.

"Shut up, TRAITOR!" He shot beam of lightning forward, but Peach raised a magical pink barrier to block it. He had forgotten about her extensive knowledge of magic, from how little she relied on it. That may have been her key. However, no amount of magic could protect them for long.

"If you wanted a rematch.." the disguised Bowser said, clearly in pain but still standing tall. "You coulda just asked. I'll gladly kick your ass anytime."

"I'm not interested in kicking anything," Mallow said. "I'm interested in killing you!"

He charged at the two and separated the two halves of his body, his feet kicking rapidly towards Bowser as he summoned two new lighting bolt blades to slice at Peach with. The pink Toad girl ran around in circles trying to dodge everything. As an act of mercy, Mallow moved his feet around and kicked her in the face, knocking her out.

The two were utterly unprepared for a fight like this. It was almost too easy. Mallow stabbed both bolts into Peach's stomach, shocking the living daylights out of her- literally. She fell backwards and collapsed onto the snow, barely conscious and unable to hold back tears from the pain.

Good.

Every drop of water she shed from here on out would still be not a hundredth of what Mallow had spilled in his time since his parents were killed. She needed to cry a whole lot more to match that.

Bowser, no longer content to play games with this fight, drew his grotesque half-human half-Koopa claws and sliced at Mallow's back. The pain surged through him, sending a warm feeling of release within him. It fed his very soul, giving into his cravings for revenge.

He summoned both halves of his body together and began to laugh, as he often did when imagining this scenario. "I can't believe you are still hiding in that awful disguise," he taunted. "Surely you can't be happy with your power being so utterly useless like that. Really, a human?"

"I'm not a pathetic wimp like you, at least," replied the disguised Bowser. "I am Bowsette, Lordess of Pain, Deliverer of the Dark Justice.

"Bowser, Bowser Bowser... You can't fool me. I know you're still in there. You can come out and fight like the big boys now."

At this, no more words were spoken. Bowser merely breathed a massive surge of fire into Mallow and completely disabled him, before stepping up and kicking him into outer space. Mallow flew all the way to the moon.


	59. Chapter 59: Direct Line

Chapter 59: Direct Line

The Shiver City Mayor was in a complete panic as he saw the scene unfold in the middle of the city just moments ago. A Nimbus boy, possibly the new King Mallow himself, came out of nowhere to attack the city's three esteemed guests, causing a major hysteria across the city. The lively wintery atmosphere, the one the city's tourism was very heavily invested in, was destroyed as people were refusing to come out of their homes, and the market bazaar had become little more than empty space.

This was not at all what the plan was supposed to be.

The mayor called up the special telephone line, desperately hoping there would be an answer immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hello! This is the Mayor of Shiver City! I need your help! Now!"

"Wha... What? Do you know who you are speaking to? Mind your tone."

"Forgive me, Chancellor," the mayor said. "But a terrible scene has unfolded in the middle of Shiver City. I believe the King Mallow of Nimbus Land has come and attempted to kill Princess Peach and Lordess Bowsette."

"Well, did he succeed?"

"Of course not! How could one angry man defeat two of the most powerful magic users in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I had counted on it injuring them, but it appears they were not even incapacitated. We needed to separate them. Do we know why they are here, yet?"

"Wait, you called Mallow to Shiver City?" the mayor asked.

"Of course. Do you know-"

"You should have told me! I would have forced them into a less public location, because now they are rattled and so is my city! How will I ever be able to have a functioning city if all my citizens are scared like-"

"Listen up," the Chancellor said. "Strike that tone with me, and I will make sure that you are relegated to a status lower than Down Under Land. You will be nothing. Toads will need a passport just to visit you. I promised you independence with full economic benefits if you manage to defeat or kill these two women. But if you fail, I will make sure Shiver City becomes a mere blip on the map of the world. Even Sherbet Land will be more prominent than you."

"I.. I understand," said the mayor.

"Now, tell me. Do you know why they have come to Shiver City?"

"I believe... my people saw that they spoke to a pair of Duplighosts shortly before the attack. They appear to be here to have an audience with the Crystal King."

"Interesting," the Chancellor said. "I have a battalion of Shy Guys coming to your city to assist you, but do wait until they have returned from the Crystal Palace to act. I want to know what they are planning."

"Yes, sir, Chancellor sir."

Click.

The mayor had made a pact that he could not get out of. He was in the midst of a deal that was going to change Shiver City forever... for better, or for worse. And from the looks of the chaos caused by the fight earlier, it was likely to be for the worse.

He needed to act, and fast.


	60. Chapter 60: Healing

Chapter 60: Healing

Bowsette took another clump of Refreshing Herb and rubbed it on Peach's stomach. The princess had taken a much bigger beating during that fight, probably injured for the first time in a long time, so she was not taking it well.

They were sitting up in the gandest, softest bed Bowsette had ever been in, in a massive hotel room that could house a whole orphanage of was even fancier than the Huckit Beach Resort Bowsette had forcibly stayed in back during her rampage towards the Mushroom Kingdom. That felt like so long ago, now...

"That... still stings..." she muttered.

"It'll help, trust me," Bowsette said.

"Yeah, I'll bet. I would rather take... stinging than gaping electric burns, that's for sure."

Both of them giggled, but Bowsette's laugh quickly dissipated. Her mind drifted off while she continued circling her hand over Peach's torso, and she quickly formed a frown. They came dangerously close to disaster today, and that was likely just the beginning of what was to come. They had had many attackers in recent weeks during their journey to find these Generals, and it was starting to seem very coordinated. Someone desperately wanted them dead, and it wasn't Morton Koopa. For all she knew, Morton was content to let them go, so long as he could find Morton Jr. and perform the blood ritual on him.

Oh, her babies. She never should have left them alone.

But even if she had still been there fighting alongside them, Peach would still be in danger, and the world would be in even worse shape. Her duty was here, and she was fulfilling it.

Peach...

"How much combat training have you had?" Bowsette asked. "In your whole life, I mean."

"I learned how to use magic defensively when I was a child, and I got some good martial arts tips back when we had all those fighting tournaments all the time. So... not much at all. I can't do anything like you or Mario or Luigi. Just a girl and her frying pan."

"Do you want me to... teach you?"

"Mario already tried that once," Peach said. "I'm not a good student."

"How come?"

"Too flirtatious." Peach placed a hand on Bowsette's cheek and then grimaced from the pain of her wounds.

"I do need to ask you... Do you and Mario..."

"Yes. It's obvious, right? We don't really talk about it. But yeah, it happens. Sorry if.. you know."

"No, I mean. I understand. He has a way."

"More than that. He's just... pretty nice to be around sometimes. If you know what I mean. Just.. really calm and cuddly."

"Yeah... I... uh, didn't tell you, but..."

"I know. You don't have to tell me," Peach said. "It was obvious from your face the next morning. It was inevitable, so... don't worry about it."

"As long as we're on the same page."

"We always are, aren't we?"

"About certain things."

Peach leaned back and scooted over, positioning herself so that her head rested on Bowsette's chest, and Bowsette's arms were wrapped around her. "Like that we should take a rain check on that bath we promised each other?"

"Yeah. Not with your condition, unless you want to feel the worst pain in your life."

"Been there, done that," Peach giggled. "What else... are we on the same page about?"

"Well, I'm in love with you, and you're in love with me, which is a bit confusing and we still haven't really talked through," Bowsette said. "Considering the circumstances..."

"Maybe it's not something we need to talk to. Maybe we can just let it happen," Peach said, taking Bowsette's free hand and gripping it with her own.

"Aha, we're not on the same page at all."

"Huh?"

Bowsette's lip quivered at the thought of having to say something like this, but she pressed on. She had to clear the room. "I think... I'm not right for you. And before you interrupt, I'm going to tell you why. I'm a pretty messed up gal. I've been married twice before, I have eight children, I'm the deposed ruler of a despotic empire and I have personally tried to kidnap you and enslave your people countless times."

"All factors I have taken into consideration, except for the marriage part. Two wives? Give me all the details on that stuff, because I want to know what I'm up against."

"Not right now," Bowsette said. "To continue, I'm going to just say... I feel wrong. Okay? I feel like I've manipulated you into loving me, being fake, being evil, forcing you on this crazy quest, forcing you to care about me because I forced my emotions on you. Is it stupid to feel this way? You'll say yes, but you aren't objective on it either. Rationally, it makes sense to think that we are only together because of my heinous actions."

"Since when was Bowsette one to follow rationality?"

"The methods of rationality are very sound," Bowsette. "At least when I'm trying to convince you to not love me because I'm not worth it."

"You're put a whole lot of thought into this," Peach says. "But like we were talking about earlier... You're overthinking it. A lot. You need to just calm down and... we can get through this."

"What do you mean 'get through this?'"

"This is a fight, isn't it?"

"Not really." Bowsette took more Refreshing Herb out of the canister and applied it. Bowsette was starting to rub in a wider radius than just the wound, a bit more than just friendly wound-dressing. Peach's breathing deepened as the hand traced around her body in a spiral.

"Oh. Well, Bowsette, I want to say I highly disagree with all of your words. I will argue you to the ends about this, because that's what love is about."

"You really just want to get in my blouse. Damn." Bowsette giggled at the absolute transparent attempt. "You are in no condition-"

"No condition to take a bath, yes, but to make love with you, I've been ready for half a year."

"Damn. You got to that point before I had even worked out my feelings for you?"

"It's been a long time waiting. I'm an impatient girl." Peach took Bowsette's herb-covered hand and slipped it lower past her belly button... and then Bowsette pulled it away.

"I want to make love with you too, but... I can't. Not like... this."

"What do you mean?"

Bowsette sighed. She thought back to earlier today, with that fight with Mallow, being called a devil in disguise, or King Boo's taunts. They felt so right, so pointed, even if they didn't seem intentional. Bowsette felt like a fake object. "Let me kiss you."

"Okay." Peach turned around her head, and the two locked lips. They shared a warm flow of energy between them, and Peach's lips sparked with the electricity that remained from her injury, flowing out of her tongue and into Bowsette's mouth.

"There," Bowsette said. "Yes, I want to make love. But... I want to do something first. Can you get up and stand over there, and turn off the lights too?"

Peach seemed a bit confused, but a bit curious. She wasn't sure if Peach was going to like this surprise. "Yeah, okay."

The lights went out, and Peach stood over in the corner of the room. "Turn around," Bowsette said. "No peeking."

Peach followed with this.

With a great hesitancy, Bowsette gripped the Super Crown affixed to her forehead and took a deep breath. She pulled at it. Nothing. She wasn't putting her heart into it, so it wasn't budging. Another deep breath. She pulled again.

There was a shimmering glow, and then her form began to grow, scales added back to her body. Her face shifted into that of a Koopa's, and her hair turned thicker prickly. She felt disgusting... but she also knew that this was the real Bowsette. This was her.

"Turn around," she said, her voice now deep and gravelly. "If you... want to."

Peach did so, slowly and more deliberately than when she turned around the first time. When her eyes fixed on Bowsette's form, she did a double-take, unable to hide the surprise, and instinctively raising a hand halfway, probably to cover her mouth from gasping.

"I'm so sorry," Bowsette said, trying to raise the pitch of her voice and failing miserably. "I just feel like... I can't have you if I'm wearing the Super Crown. It feels... fake."

Peach stepped up to the bed and put her hand on her cheek once again. "Are you sure?"

She started to cry, but held it back enough to speak. "Yeah."

"Can I ask why? If that's okay?" Peach climbed fully into the bed and was making perfect eye contact with Bowsette.

"Because... it's not the real me," she said. "Right? It's a power-up that was supposed to be for body doubles. It's just not... right. When I kiss you with the Super Crown on, part of me thinks every time that it's not me you're kissing. It's just this body that looks like you, and that's what you're attracted to, and I'm just the brain on the inside getting all the credit."

Peach laughed and then forced herself to stop. "Oh, Bowsette. I may be a bit vain-I am royalty-but I'm not a complete narcissist! I love you because of you the person. Not because of your body. Smoking hot as it may be." She cuddled up close to Bowsette and rest her head on her chest again, even if it was the chest of a battle-hardened Koopa.

"But... what about this body?"

She looked up at her. "I'll be... as honest with you as I can. I owe you that. This body will take getting used to. It's not what physically attracts me the same way. But I know I will be able to find the beauty in you no matter what you look like. Because I love you."

Bowsette put an oversized arm around Peach's back. She was sniveling with tears, trying as hard as she could to suppress her sobs. "Peach, how can one woman be so... amazing?"

"I could ask the same thing to you."

"But... I'm not... I'm not even a woman, am I? I'm just... Bowser, the gross ugly dragon lizard."

"You're Bowsette, the woman who's changed my life in ways I can barely comprehend. Since you talked to me that one day in my bedroom... everything feels different. It's like I see the world in a new way, somehow. I don't know. Now I'm the one who's having a hard time explaining things."

"It's okay." Bowsette hugged her tighter. "I have so much, awful, crippling doubt inside of me, but... you're so good at beating it down. I don't even understand it."

"I am classically trained in diplomacy," Peach said. "Talking is my skill."

"You can talk all night long to my-" Bowsette stopped herself. "Are you... ABSOLUTELY sure you're fine with me like this? One hundred percent?"

"Two hundred percent," Peach said. "I'm comfortable with you however you want to present yourself. To me, you're just you. What do you prefer?"

"Can we just... lay here first? For a little bit?"

"Yeah."

And they sat, Bowsette holding Peach in her arms in a dark hotel room, laying on a bed made of plush. Breathing in and out and feeling each other's presence, sharing each other.

She gauged how she'd feel, being like this the rest of her life, going back to the body she had possessed all her life. Making love with Peach as a Koopa. It was so quiet and calm in here, but Bowsette's thoughts raced through her head, making her heart beat faster and faster.

"You're really warm," Peach said, softly. "I could fall asleep on you."

"Yeah... I don't think I like this," Bowsette finally admitted. "I hate this body. I hate being this large, and this lumbering, and my scales this rough, and having a snout, and... Ugh."

"Well... what do you want to do?" Peach asked.

"Um, first, let me kiss you again."

"Alright." This time was a little bit more difficult, Bowsette's lips not exactly forming any concrete puckering, and being too big to meet Peach's. They made it work, with Peach's entire mouth meeting Bowsette's, almost like she were about to eat her or something.

When they pulled away, both of them laughed.

"So... that's a little weird," Bowsette said.

"But it was nice," Peach said. "Do you want to keep going?"

"No, maybe some other time."

Peach rest her head back on Bowsette's torso. "That's okay..."

"I'm just kidding."

"Oh, you..."

"But, I think... let me put back on the Super Crown first." She grabbed the power-up from the side of the bed and held it in her hands for a moment, looking at the reflection staring at her from the polished gold. It was the same face that had greeted her for ninety-nine percent of her entire life, and now suddenly she realized that she had been greeting it as an alien this entire time. This was her body, but... not her real body. Her real body was whatever she preferred it. And she did not prefer this.

"And just to make sure," Peach said. "You're not putting that crown on for me, and you are absolutely sure that you're comfortable with it."

"Peach, I think this entire thing just ran a circle around itself," Bowsette said. "I think all I did was realize that the Super Crown is the most comfortable I've ever felt in my life. Again."

"As long as you're sure, it's fine. Or... even if you're not sure. As long as you're happy. Yeah, that sounds about right."

"Oh my Brighton, you are just filled to the brim with inspirational quotes, aren't you?" Bowsette put back on the Super Crown, and her body transformed back into the half-human form it had been in for most of the last year. Her real body.

Well, kind of.

She still felt like this wasn't who she truly should have been. It was probably the fact that her entire persona was a reflection of the woman she was about to have sex with, which was unsettling in a way, if a bit erotic. But she pushed those thoughts aside for now, because she was happy with herself, even just a tiny bit, and that was what she needed to latch onto.

Now that Bowsette was smaller again, Peach's embrace was kind of crushing her...

Peach realized this and let go. "So..."

"So..."

"Are you ready?"

"I've never... I never thought I'd actually be doing this. Never in a million years."

"We confessed our love for each other like, months ago," Peach said. "You still didn't think that this would happen?"

"I don't know, I was kind of self-defeating about it. Maybe that's why Mario always beats me, huh?"

"You're probably right." Peach leaned in and kissed her. Bowsette heated up her lips with fire just to the point that Peach's eyes popped wide open but didn't hurt. "Dude, you've got to warn me when you do that!"

"I think I'm ready."

"You think?"

"Let's make love."

"I've been waiting on this for so long," Peach said. She crawled up to Bowsette and then shoved her backwards, making her thud against the backboard. Peach kissed her with one hand propped up against the wood as another made its way up Bowsette's dress.

"Peach..."

"Do you want me to go slow? Fast? Just tell me what you want."

"Is... um... Is 'ravish me' an option?" Bowsette asked.

"The best option of them all," Peach said.

She moved past Bowsette's face and moved down to her neck, licking it, while holding Bowsette down from squirming. She pressed her teeth down into the skin, first a gentle nibble.

"Peach..." Bowsette said through staggered breaths. "I love you.

"The feeling's mutual." Peach said, just before clamping down harder on her neck.

The night continued from there.

Bowsette wasn't going to tell the rest of it, but one thing was simple: this was a moment shared by two women in love, giving up the whole of themselves to each other, sharing their presences in the closest way they could.

There would be other nights like this in the future. Mornings and days, too. But this marked the first, most significant shift in their relationship together, and would be preserved in the cores of their memories like a jar of Jammin' Jelly.

Bowsette was happy.


	61. Chapter 61: Pink is the Warmest Color

#  Chapter 61: Pink is the Warmest Color

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

That sure was something. Peach had had experiences with all sorts of people from all walks of life, but she had to say... Bowsette was different. And seeing her eyes slowly open, her hair in a tangled mess and that crown still perched on her head, she knew that this was a good kind of different.

It was morning, but the sun was still low under the horizon, a result of the long winters in Shiver City. That was fine; it means more time for the two to enjoy each other.

The bed was a mess of tangled covers and sheets and clothes strewn about, but there was no attempt to fix it, not from Peach. It was much easier to just sit there and stare at the women across from her.

“We didn’t get kidnapped during the night,” Boswette said. “The two suite plan worked.”

“Oh, don’t talk business in bed. It’s not sexy.”

“Oh, but you are.”

Peach leaned in and let Bowsette kiss her. That thing she did with her mouth, with the fiery sensation... It sent a tingling throughout her entire body. “You cannot use the word sexy to describe me,” Peach told her. “When we’re here together, it is simply unsightly. I am no comparison to you, nor your absolutely impeccable breasts.”

“They’re not THAT good, are they?” Bowsette asked.

“You know when they call them ‘assets’ sometimes? Yours are so far beyond amazing that they are actually legitimate weapons in battle. You can distract any opponent that ever comes your way. That’s how you beat us so badly when you invaded the castle, I think.”

“I’m a goddess and I never even knew it.”

“You’re a bit of a goddess too,” Bowsette said.

Peach couldn’t help but blush. “Hardly. I’m a frilly princess with pasty skin and too much makeup.”

“You’re just as hot as me. My body’s literally based off yours.”

“But--”

“Let me finish. And, you have a way with words that just... well, you know how it gets me. That speech you gave a couple weeks back? The one where you were all, ‘If I am not the ruler you wanted, then I apologize. If you want me to change my mind, I apologize. I don’t care and I hate you.’ That was like pure titillation there.”

“That’s not how I said it, was it?”

“Along those lines.”

“Man, I was so angry! My own advisors had been hiding stuff from me. I bet they still are.”

“Hey now, are you about to go mixing business with pleasure after all this?”

“Is this pleasure?” Peach asked.

“Every moment I spend talking with you is the definition of pleasure,” Bowsette replied. She then rolled over on her back and wrestled around with the sheets to get them untangled around her. Finally, she got all of it off but one layer of sheets resting on top of her. “Well, here I am, if you want me.”

“Ah, this is what this was all building up to? Then I guess I’ll dig in.”

She did.

Peach scooched her body up until the two were at equal height, with Peach laying her entire body on her lover’s. Her head rested on her chest and she felt her heartbeat, steady and warm. 

She was never going to bring it up again because of the discomfort it would inevitably cause, but Peach felt amazing in those moments she laid with Bowsette in her Koopa form. She held her in her arms, and even at Peach’s height she could lay almost her entire body just on her torso, like a life-sized pillow made of scales. This, of course, was nicer, but mostly because of the boobs. It admittedly wasn’t that comfortable now that they were nearly the same size.

Also, all that stinging Refreshing Herb last night... actually seemed to work pretty well. Peach’s pain was almost gone, even if her stomach was still in quite a bit of pain. Baths were probably still a no-go, but she was impressed at her quick recovery. And Bowsette had simply not brought it up, but her own arm had been stabbed by lightning yesterday too, and it had healed almost completely. She wondered if the Super Crown had anything to do with it.

“Hey Bowsette, you wanna get married?” Peach asked.

“Yeah, let’s.”

“That was a test,” Peach said. 

“Did I... fail?”

“Did you?”

“You inscrutable woman,” Bowsette said. “You know my entire brain is wracked in self-doubt and confusing mood swings. You cannot toy with me like this.”

Peach giggled. “Oh, Bowsette.”

“Wait, no, I’m serious. Please don’t be coy. Did I pass your test?”

“Yes you passed.” Peach put her hands on Bowsette’s cheeks and stretched them apart. 

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being silly. So we’re engaged now, right?”

“Just after having sex for the first time? Is that... okay? Are we... moving too fast?”

Peach shook her head. “We’ve known each other for so many years that I don’t think we need much of a trial period here. Let’s just get married. Then you won’t be allowed to invade the Mushroom Kingdom ever again, because it’ll be yours. Ours.”

“If we are both married, then who gets to be King?” Bowsette asked.

“Me. We settled who’s on top last night, didn’t we?”

Bowsette’s face went flush and she pushed Peach off of her. She then rolled Peach on her back and climbed on top of her. “Oh yeah? How about this?”

“I dare you.”

“I.. I... Oh, you’re right.”

As retribution, Peach moved away from Bowsette and then pushed her back down onto her own back. She squeezed Bowsette’s hips with her knees, and then held both of her wrists and then began kissing her all over her face. “As her first act, King Peach Toadstool will begin her legislation on her future wife.”

“Peach... are we really going to...”

“If you want to get married, then I also want to get married. It’s pretty simple.”

“Kakakakakaka... my past self would not even begin to believe what’s going on right now,” Bowsette said, trying to squirm away from woman holding her captive and failing miserably. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” said Peach. “And I will never let you go.”

“I never want you to let me go,” Bowsette said, despite currently squirming from Peach’s grip.

“Just one thing. You have to give me a ring first. I don’t care what kind, just get me a ring. I don’t care about a fancy official ceremony or anything, just a ring.”

“Done. I already have the one from the first time we were legally married by Count Whatever.”

“Count Bleck.”

“Whatever.”

“And that one doesn’t count. That ring is probably cursed by some Flopside magic. Also, I hated you back then. Bad memories.”

“Well... I have the one my second wife left me when she walked out on me?”

“You’re really not convincing me here.”

“What about my... other former wife’s ring?”

“Are you ever going to tell me about those two?” Peach asked.

“After we sign the papers at the courthouse,” Bowsette said. “I promise.”

“Now you’re holding our wedding hostage so I will be forced to satiate my curiosity? You are a villain.”

“I AM a villain.” Bowsette flickered her eyebrows as if being a villain was provocative.

“My people are probably going to revolt if we get married. When we get married.”

“They’re already revolting, aren’t they?”

“Yeah... I don’t really care what they think at this point. I care what I think. So we’re doing this. This has been settled. We are going to be wife and wife.”

“Got it. Cool, cool, cool, cool. So we are completely clear that we are changing the dynamic between us completely and permanently. No more being enemies, no more kidnapping, no more... evil laughing?”

“None of it. Especially the laughter.”

“Darn. I won’t be nearly as good of a villain that way.”

“Get into finance!” Peach suggested, before leaning in and nibbling on Bowsette’s neck again, right above one of the bite marks from last night. 

“You know... I don’t have... any other clothes.” Bowsette muttered. “Just that... very low-cut dress that hides nothing...

“I’ll let you borrow a turtleneck sweater.”

“Wow, we... really are completely changing our dynamic, then. Peach...”

“So, our schedule for today, then,” Peach began. “Go get breakfast. Go see if the Crystal King is ready for us and go recruit him into your big army. Go to a jewelry store and shop for a ring. Get married. Come back here and begin our consummation. Plan a honeymoon that just happens to coincide with the next villain we have to visit. That’s what we’re going to do.”

“Good. A bit packed, but good,” Bowsette said. “But you might be missing one thing. Are you not holding me down like this for any specific reason? Are we skipping this?”

“Addendum,” Peach replied. “I will add one more task to the to-do list. You.”

“Thank the Star Spirits.”


	62. Chapter 62: Missed Connection, and Connected

Chapter 62: Missed Connection, and Connected

Peach, in a fluffy wintery dress, and Bowsette, wearing an inconspicuous forest green turtleneck sweater that was too small for her and showed off her body even more than her normal outfit already did, stood holding hands in the central area of Shiver City. It was the same spot where they had met the Duplighosts yesterday, and of course had that nearly-deadly encounter with King Mallow as well.

Probably not one hundred percent safe for the two of them to be standing out here like this. Every time Bowsette spotted a Shy Guy in her peripheral vision, her mind instinctively tensed up. She swore she wasn't racist. She swore. But after all those attacks on their group by Shy Guys and Snifits and Bandits, she was pretty certain that they had been hired by someone, probably some sort of Shy Guy gangster, to take care of them.

Peach rest her head on Bowsette's shoulder, apparently a little cold and trying to take in Bowsette's incredibly body warmth. As half of a fire-breathing dragon-lizard-turtle-thing, she could certainly boast that she was one of the warmest ladies around. Being high temperature in winter was akin to being the ultimate chick magnet. Excellent Pro Tip for the ladies and gentlemen that want to recruit females into their romantic fold.

However, it didn't actually seem that the Crystal King's emissaries were coming. He was known for his deliberations, so this did not come as too much of a surprise to her.

"I think we should call it a day on the Crystal Palace," said Bowsette.

"Really? You don't like being out here in the snow? Miss Warm Pants?"

"Your teasing is ineffective on the Great Lordess Bowsette, Melter of Ice, Enemy of Low Temperatures," she said. "It takes a whole lot more than this for me to feel cold."

"Loser."

"Rude."

But, it did appear that their standing out here was going to be fruitless. With Peach's hand still in her grip, she took them both away from this area and towards-you guess it, the jewelry store.

With nothing left to fill the rest of their day, they looked for a couple hours at what the best type of ring would be, and in the end chose a set with two small pearls with a band made from Metal Shoom Steel. It was hardly the most expensive set in the store, but seeing as both of them could afford literally everything there, they only looked for what looked nice and what was going to endure the inevitable battles that the two were going to be soon plunged into.

No need for a box or anything; they wore the rings out of the store.

"I'm having heart palpitations, I'm so excited," Peach said. "Is this what marriage is supposed to feel like?"

"Well, we're not there yet."

That would be moments later, when they entered the Shiver City Municipal Courthouse. The Bumpty clerk, shocked by the sudden appearance of Princess Peach of House Toadstool, was more than happy to guide them through the paperwork and steps necessary to file the marriage license. Bowsette decided that since her legal name was apparently King Bowser Koopa the Fifth, Ruler of Dark Land and Supreme Leader of the Final Order of the Koopa Troop, she was going to take this opportunity to change her name and picked the very tidy Bowsette Toadstool. Very nice.

The forms were complete. Peach signed her name, and then Bowsette hers.

There it was.

"There it is," Bowsette said. "We're married."

The clerk butted in and added, "Technically, for processing it will take up to five business-"

Peach grabbed Bowsette and pulled her into her, smooching her on the lips with the absolute fiercest attack.

"Bowsette! We're married!"

Peach literally jumped up in the air. Bowestte had never seen her this giddy,t his exuberant, never in her life. It got through to her as well, and she began jumping up and down as well. "Wow!" she exclaimed.

They kissed again, and the clerk started to look away as if it was kind of embarrassing to look at. Ah, screw her.

Bowsette hoisted Peach off her feet and carried her out of the courthouse. She sprouted wings and the two flew around in the sky. It was very cold up here, but with Bowsette's fire breath, she kept the two of them warm.

"I love you," Peach said.

"I love you too," Bowsette said.

They eventually came back to the ground and headed back to the hotel to consummate their marriage for the next twelve or maybe eighteen hours. But yeah, there they were. The Toadstools were wife and wife. And nothing could stop that. Well, except for the impending war brewing in Dark Land and the breaking apart of the Mushroom Kingdom. But that wasn't important right now. That could wait until tomorrow.


	63. Chapter 63: The Conqueror

#  Chapter 63: The Conqueror

Still no word from Crystal King today, for some reason... Was it that hard for him to send a letter to their hotel telling them that he was still trying to figure out their request for an audience? Yes, they had prefaced that they were seeking his help in an upcoming battle that might decide the fate of the planet Earth. Yes, that was probably going to take a while to figure out a response to. But did he really not have the decency to give a formal “Hey I’m busy right now, sorry” message?

There were indeed several reasons why Bowsette had not kept in touch with this guy, and it was not because he was weak at combat.

Just as their hopes of a productive day were dashed and they were about to spend the rest of the afternoon laying in bed again, a Parakoopa jetted down from the sky and skidded to a stop right next to them. He was wearing goggles and had in his hands a letter inside a black envelope.

Black envelope...

“I gotta tell ya, this sure took a long time to get to you,” the Parakoopa said. “Letter for Lordess Bowsette!”

“And you are...?”

“Parakarry,” he said. “You might remember me. I helped defeat you way back when you had taken the Star Rod.”

“No recollection whatsoever,” Bowsette said. 

“Ah, shucks. Well, since you don’t have an address and your whereabout were kept under wraps and this letter had been couriered over to the Toad Town Post Office through a rally of four scouts over a ten day journey, I’m sorry to deliver this to you so late. But as soon as I found out you were in Shiver City, I came as fast as I could. This thing’s apparently straight from an undisclosed location in Dark Land and marked ULTRA HIGH priority.”

“Dark Land! Give that to me!” Bowsette snatched the letter away from him and her hands shook. Whatever this was, it had to be, well, ultra important. And the timing...

Oh Brighton she hoped her children were okay.

“Thank you,” Peach said. 

“And congrats on the wedding, you two.” he said. “Times might be tough right now but I’m rooting for you.”

Just as he was beginning to fly away, Peach raised her hand, and shouted, “Wait! How... How do you know all this stuff? How did you even find us?”

“Princess,” Parakarry said, wings still flapping as he hovered a few feet in the air. “The Postal Service knows everything.” And then he flew away.

Peach stared in stunned silence for a few moments while Bowsette stared at the letter in her hands.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” Bowsette said. “And then we can read this... together...”

She was really nervous.

* * *

 

Inside some unassuming coffee shop, the two wives sat next to each other, both eating Mama Luigi Bagels and drinking Tough Coffees.

“...You know,” Peach said, continuing off some small talk conversation Bowsette was half-paying attention to. “I think I’m going to change my title to King after all. I’m a hundred percent serious. I don’t want to be married and still go by Princess. I’m literally the Queen, but I always thought I was too young for that title to have any resonance. So now, I think it does. But you’re the Queen, not me.”

“I prefer Lordess...” Bowsette replied.

“Ah, fine. Lordess it is. I make up the rules anyway.”

“I want to read this letter... But I’m really scared,” Bowsette said.

“That your kids might be in trouble?”

“That OUR kids might be in trouble.”

“Ah, um... I hadn’t thought of it that way. I’m sorry.”

“Maybe we should have discussed that before we got married,” said Bowsette. “Are you ready to be a stepmom like this?”

“Uhhhh...” Peach took a bite of her bagel and chewed it up. “I sure hope so. Um, as parents, then... I guess we ought to open up the letter now.”

“Yeah...”

Bowsette removed the seal, and read it:

 

“To Bowsette, Savior of the Waking World, Slayer of the Dreaming Dead:

“My name it Iggy Koopa, the Conqueror. I write this letter in the hopes that somehow, someone will get it to you. You told us to wait and to hide, to bide our time and strike in the outskirts. Thank you so much for this advice, as it has helped us hone our strategy to take back Dark Land from Morton Koopa and decimate his rule.

“Morton Jr., Bowser Jr., Lemmy, and I fight on, trying to liberate villages captured by the loyalist Koopa Troop and turning every location into a makeshift fort. Even when the Koopa Troop recaptures these places, our allies merely relocate to a new place. We never let their army stop to rest.

“Morton Jr. in particular has been very proactive in all of this. He was touched by your words about how important he was and has taken every care to destroy these foes that have turned our country into a warzone, while avoiding any trace of his presence. While I have acted as the leader, the Conqueror to rise up against  the evil King Koopa, Morton acts in the shadows, growing reputation as the masked hero Big Mouth Koopa, swooping into prisons and freeing those inside with great power.

“In all of this, we have spread the word of your heroism and your impending return to all we encounter. We tell them great tales of your daring rescue attempt at Chaos Castle, and the army you are building. You have become a folk hero, a legend that parents tell their children. I apologize if this puts too much pressure on you, but it has mobilized the populace against Morton and that will never be something to regret. If my father Bowser were still alive, he would commemorate your actions and bestow upon you a great many honored titles.

“Unfortunately, we have had some setbacks as well, and that is the reason I am writing this letter. Our main informants in Castle Koopa, my sister Wendy and my grandmother Kammy, have been discovered and captured by Morton himself. Because of our successes at freeing prisoners, he has began cursing high-priority targets and turning them into stone. There are statues littered all across Dark Land, of family and loved ones and allies... and it is tragic. We do not wish this upon anyone, but we also have no cure for it at this time. The only way to break the curse is to destroy the one who created it, as far as our dissident Magikoopas have been able to tell us.

“General Guy has also been captured. The Shy Guy Rebellion is over and we are the only remaining resistance force still fighting. We are still going strong, but our resources will not last forever. I plead with you, if you can, to please return soon so that we may join forces and bring peace to this land once and for all.

“I would also like to report on my two brothers who chose to join the Royal Army rather than dissent against their kin, Roy and Larry Koopa. They have been fast promoted to high-ranking positions in the military, and we have faced them in combat multiple times already. It pains me to say that this war has torn brother against brother, and so far nothing I have done has convinced them away. 

“Morton Koopa is planning something big in his castle right now. We at first thought it was the ritual to bring himself back to life, but we have discerned that it was actually something even greater. However, we do not know what it is and our scouts have all been captured before reporting back to us on this. So we must warn that there is something brewing, some sort of danger, but we do not know what.

“That is all that I have to report. Bowsette, thank you for helping us on our quest and I hope to meet you again. Whatever I do, I will do it thinking about you, and about my father. I am entrusting this message with my most trusted Wiggler scout, and pray to Brighton that she can deliver it to you as quickly as possible.

“Hail Bowser,

“The Conqueror.”

 

Tears streamed down Bowsette’s face in rapid succession. “My childreeeeeeennnn.....”

Peach put her arm around her. “They’ll be okay! They’ll be okay,” she said. She was tearing up as well, but she was able to hold it all in, being the trained regal she was.

“But this letter... it was from several weeks ago... How are we going to know if they’re okay now? What if it’s too late? Bowser Jr. is too young for all of this....”

“We’ll be there for them! They’re just as strong as you, remember that. They have that same special royal blood coursing in their veins, and that’s how they’re going to win.”

“Well, actually... I have a story to tell about that,” Bowsette said. “It’s about my wives.”

Peach’s eyes started to sparkle. “Ah! So you’ll finally tell your new wife about your tragic backstory?”

“I promised you I would. It’s a bit of a long story, but--”

Right then, a huge, five-foot-tall Bumpty talked in. A female with a hideous-looking face and an extremely long beak, extremely plump and with an off-violet hue.

Peach and Bowsette both jumped, and then realized what this was.

“You... I have come to tell you that the Crystal King wishes to see you,” said the Bumpty.

“I... I... Uh, yeah,” Bowsette said. “Yeah, I’m ready. Lead the way.”

Was the Duplighost going to lead the way... like that?

Okay then.


	64. Chapter 64: Crystal Palace Crawl

#  Chapter 64: Crystal Palace Crawl

Past the Shiver Mountains, past Starborn Valley, was a massive palace made seemingly of ice and glass, perched up at the top of a large hill. That was the place that the Crystal King had called his home since he left Bowser’s Kingdom all that time ago.

They walked through the castle, had to solve a few annoying mirror puzzles involving their reflections, and finally entered the throne room. Bowsette had been in so many throne rooms in the past year, she was getting sick of the very concept of them.

The Crystal King was there, and he was sitting on the throne, his tiny Crystal Bits floating around him in an orbit.

“Crystal King, how good to see you,” said Bowsette. “So, you have read our proposal. And--”

“Hehehehehe...” the Crystal King and his Star Bits disappeared in a wisp.

“Uh, okay then...” Peach muttered. “What’s uh... his deal?”

“He likes to show off his powers,” Bowsette said. “He has really powerful blizzard attacks, which worked really well against the fire-based enemies we fought back during the revolution. And he has those little Star Bits that protect him and he can launch at people. And....”

“Hehehehehe,” said a Crystal King that appeared to their left.

“Hehehehehehehe!” cackled a Crystal King that had appeared to their right.

“...He has the ability to teleport and create illusion clones. It’s... a chore to deal with. That’s why he was the final of the seven Generals I recruited.”

“Recruited me?” Crystal King scoffed. “I recruited you. It was my army that defeated Morton’s Royal Guard. The rest of your Generals were mediocre at best.”

“It is a desperate hour where we ask you for help,” Bowsette said, looking at neither of the two Crystal King copies because it was unlikely that either of them were real. In fact, as she said this, a third one appeared right in front of them. “I do not want to disturb your, uh, peaceful reign here, but if Morton Koopa is not stopped again, we may never be able to match what we did last time.”

“Because the Firestone Amulet is gone?”

“Exactly.”

“Why not just make a new one?” the Crystal King asked. “You have the Axe, don’t you?”

“Uhh...”

“Surely you didn’t... misplace it.”

“I didn’t, but even with the Axe, creating another Firestone Amulet would be useless. It would take five years to gather the pieces,” Bowsette said. “All the gems in the world could barely power another.”

Peach was confused about this at the moment, Bowsette could tell, but she wouldn’t bother explaining this stuff. It was a bit too complicated for the current situation. All that Bowsette realized was that Crystal King was stalling for something. He was trying to surround them, as a fourth copy of himself had materialized behind the two women.

This was going to be a fight after all.

“He’s still just a reanimated skeleton,” Bowsette said. “We can still defeat him if we act fast.”

“I’m afraid I have some bad news,” Crystal King said. “I don’t want to help you.”

Suddenly, dozens of Star Bits flew down from the ceiling and rained down upon Peach and Bowsette. While Peach raised her parasol to block the incoming attacks, Bowsette swiped them away and then sent a few fireballs upwards, cracking or melting them. 

Each of the four Crystal Kings lunged, but only one of them was real. It was impossible to tell, though, so Bowsette picked a random one and slashed-- Fake. Her claws just went through thin air.

Peach was completely outmatched for this kind of fight. Bowsette needed to end this quickly or else she was going to get hurt again. So Bowsette hopped right above Peach, backing up against her own back and then breathing fire in a circle surrounding them. The fake Crystal Ghosts kept charging, but the real one backed away, fearful of the flames.

“Wise move,” he said.

“A wiser move would be to join us. I’m still powerful. You’re still powerful. We can do this together.”

“Do you know why I took so long in my deliberations?” Crystal King asked. “It wasn’t because I was torn morally and emotionally. It was that I received another offer the same day as yours. I chose that one.”

“Another... offer?”

“From Morton Koopa.”

Suddenly, an airship burst in, and Dry Morton hopped into the throne room.


	65. Chapter 65: Another Throne Room Battle

#  Chapter 65: Another Throne Room Battle

Welp.

Bowsette pulled out her claws, snarled her fangs, and readied another few fireballs for attack. This was a terrible moment to note it, but she really should have equipped herself with new power-ups for eventualities like this. She didn’t even have a new Chain Chomp mace weapon to use...

Peach had traded her parasol for a frying pan, which meant they were pretty much screwed.

Because right in front of them, past the circle of flames Bowsette had summoned for themselves, was Morton Koopa, the undead Koopa King, along with his Royal Guard of sword-equipped Hammer Bros. Crystal King, for all it was worth, was also still there.

“My son,” Morton said. “You certainly have... changed your look.”

“Actually,” Bowsette corrected. “It’s Bowsette now, and I’m your daughter.” 

Morton stared a few more moments and then said, “Very well. I will say, my daughter, that look is very befitting of you. Your ancestors would take great curiosity in taking the form of a human, our sworn enemy, and using that form against them. I had assumed that you were doing so as a means of infiltration. But using it to cement your very being, to give yourself an emotional edge in combat? Well, that is just the sort of tenacity you have made yourself famous for. That blood of yours must be sparking with a new vibrancy.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Bowsette said. “My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Morton.”

“Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.”

This would have been the perfect moment to attack, either of them. But they were still caught in a sort of stand-off. She wasn’t sure why. Even though this shield of flames protected them against the Crystal King, it would hardly do a thing to Morton, nor any of his high-powered bodyguards.

They should have been dead already.

Peach turned to Bowsette. “Do you... have a way out of this?”

“Maybe. Stall for time,” Bowsette whispered.

She had to think... had to think....

Peach glared at the Crystal King and shouted, “You clod! Why would you betray us to him?”

Crystal King shrugged. “He contacted me with a better offer. I lead them to the bones in Snowflake Lake, I lead you to me, I spring a trap, and then he leaves me alone when he begins his world conquest.”

“And you can trust him? Wasn’t he the ruler of a thousand year darkness? The Lord of Pain, Master of the Fiery Elements?”

“Good title drop, Peach,” Bowsette whispered.

She figured it out. Shiver City and its outlying areas were just like the rest of the Mushroom Kingdom: well-tunneled. And that’s what she was going to do.

Long time no see, Bone Dragon buddy. Let’s hope you’re still kicking. Bowsette raised her hand into the air slightly, just enough to be inconspicuous, and cast the summoning spell. Wherever in the world the Bone Dragon was, their mental link activated and it would be coming this way... soon. Sometime soon.

“I don’t trust him, but what was I going to do? Fight him by myself?”

Morton laughed, his voice dry and raspy from the fact that he was literally just cobbled-together bones. “I’m not going to kill him or anything like I’m some pathetic B-list villain. I am, as you say, the ruler of a thousand year darkness. I uphold my ends of bargains. And now that we have come and retrieved what lay beneath Snowflake Lake, we are done here.”

“Thank you, my Dark Lord,” Crystal King said. “For your great patience and understanding here. What do you wish for me to do with these two?”

At this, Morton turned his head to the Crystal King and blasted a fireball at him, incinerating him immediately.

He burst into laughter. “Did you see the look on his face when I said, ‘I uphold my ends of bargains’ and he just BELIEVED it? Was he even THERE when I ruled Dark Land? Oh man, and why in the world would I not take revenge against him for destroying my armies?”

Bowsette shook her head and turned to Peach. “He’s always been like this.”

Now, they were truly screwed. 

“Now, who is this fine, gorgeous human lady?” Morton asked. “A betrothed of yours?”

“I’m her wife,” Peach said. “We got married yesterday.”

“Oh. Uh, congratulations,” Morton said. “Quite an odd time to get married all of a sudden, Bowsette. Are you sure you were... thinking this one through?”

“We have a long history. Don’t worry, we’ve been over this with each other. We’re good.”

“Alright then. Well, it’s too bad I’m going to have to break up your little honeymoon, then, because Bowsette, you’re coming with me.”

“If we go, we’re going together,” Peach said. “As a unit.”

“You realize I’m going to my doom, right?” Bowsette asked. “He’s trying to use me in a sacrificial ritual to resurrect himself.”

“I understand. I just--”

“Actually, you are no longer needed in this regard,” Morton said. “I have a much better plan now. Your escape gave me plenty of time to think, though, about the best way to use you. And in your current form... I can’t imagine anything better for you.”

“Care to explain?”

“No. You’ll see for yourself. Now that I have gotten what I came for at Snowflake Lake, my plan is just about complete. I don’t need you, but I have something for you that you will highly appreciate.”

Snowflake Lake, the city famous for its permafrost ice lake under which the skull of a former Dread Lord dragon was buried. That meant only one thing:

Morton was going to try to resurrect a Dread Lord.

Bowsette suddenly regretted summoning the Bone Dragon this way, even if it was the only option here.

“You look nervous, my daughter. Is anything wrong?”

“I’m just reminiscing. How many duels with you did I have before I finally killed you?” she asked.

“Six.”

“I wonder how many it’ll take before I kill you this time.”

“Do you want to settle it that way? I can't guarantee you’ll live through this one. It would be very disappointing if I had to use Roy or Larry in your stead... but if you will be dead, then it won’t matter, will it?”

“How dare you use my children in this... OUR children.” She took Peach’s hand as she said this. “Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve caused, you will pay for.”

“Just as will you.”

Bowsette was already paying for her actions. But at least she was trying to make up for them. That was the difference between Bowsette Toadstool and Morton Koopa. The Lordess and the Lord. Morton didn’t try to remedy his actions. He lived to inflict pain.

The Crystal Palace began to rumble. 

“Is this...” Peach began.

“Yep.”

“Well, come on with me. We don’t have all day. Well, I guess we do. I don’t have any plans.” Morton began walking towards the airship, and so did the Hammer Bros. “Please, don’t make me do this forcefully. I don’t want to mistreat you right now. That comes later. You--” Morton finally realized that the entire castle was shaking. “What in darkness’s name...”

Suddenly, the Bone Dragon and all three of its heads crashed through the ground, roaring out at the enemies in front of it.

Bowsette took Peach into her arms and jumped on the back of the Bone Dragon. “Let’s go! Now!”

The Bone Dragon burrowed back underground, and Bowser launched as many fireballs as she could behind her, starting a massive fire in the hole behind them. The airship was too big to follow, and the Hammer Bros. wouldn’t be able to survive those kinds of flames.

Morton himself might have been following, but... it looked like he had left them alone.

Peach and Bowsette shared a quick kiss. 

But Bowsette was not relieved. 

This changed everything.


	66. Chapter 66: Death & Destruction

#  Chapter 66: Death & Destruction

“...and that’s what he’s planning. it has to be. Now that he’s been dead himself, clearly he doesn’t care about causing the deaths of all life on Earth. He just wants to cause suffering.”

Bowsette and Peach rode on the Bone Dragon through one of the endless tunnels underneath the continent, where an ancient people once made their home to avoid the death and destruction caused by the Dread Lords.

The same Dread Lords that Bowsette’s biological father wanted to resurrect.

“Yeah, that’s not good,” Peach said. “I... I think my father used to tell me stories about the Dread Lords, like as scary stories to freak me out when we went camping.”

“They were real. Just like the celestial dragons that descended to Earth many eons ago, so too did the Dread Lords. Only they did not come as a gesture of curiosity and peace from galaxies far, far away. They came from deep in the core of the Earth, gestating in eggs and then bursting forth onto the surface to wreak havoc and feast upon the populace. They were defeated somehow, some way, but that information has become lost to time.All we know of them is the stories passed down, and the occasional Dread Lord bones we discover in our exploring.”

“And this Bone Dragon here...”

“Is a baby Dread Lord that must have died without ever having reached the surface. It’s extremely small. And my pet, luckily.”

Peach crossed her arms to think. “Yeah... this really sucks, doesn’t it?”

“It means that the Crystal King’s comments about the Axe weren’t just some stupid passing reference,” Bowsette said. “He must have realized Morton’s plan and thought that I already knew about it. The Axe might be the only thing with the power to actually fight one of those things. But without the Firestone Amulet, without the False Millenium Star...”

“Bowsette, can you PLEASE elaborate on this stuff for me? What is any of this? An Axe? What?”

The Bone Dragon moved upwards as they approached the Mushroom Kingdom and the surface. 

“It’s a long story. A very long story.”

“Well, I’m a long girl. Tell it to me.”

“L-long girl? What?”

“Uh, nevermind. I just want to know about your past, Bowsette. We’re married now, so I get to know these things.”

“Okay. The reason I haven’t told you about a lot of these things is because I was going to get around to them when I told you about... my first wife, Clawdia Koopa. And I guess now’s the perfect time to start from the beginning.”

“Please... Please do.”

But they didn’t have time. The Bone Dragon emerged in the surface, in an area right in Peach’s Castle grounds, where it had emerged a first time.

And there were hundreds of Toads dressed up in military uniform, with Peach’s image in the stained glass portrait at the top of the castle removed and replaced by the logo of a Toad.

What?

“What?” Peach gasped.

There had been a coup while she was away.


	67. Chapter 67: Let's Go Back A Bit

#  Chapter 67: Let’s Go Back a Bit

Toadsworth stood behind the Chancellor as he gave a speech to the massive crowd of pink-shirt Toads, a whole sea of them. He was hardly paying attention to his words, but rather to the entire scene around them. 

There had to be a way to travel backwards in time, to stop himself from getting involved in this. To prevent the Chancellor from ever consolidating the power that he had amassed.

The speech was the same as usual, the Chancellor on the stump as he talked about the diversity and culture within the Mushroom Kingdom, but that these cultures were not compatible to live together permanently and should be separated. It was all this big, long justification for kicking all the Koopas and Goombas and Yoshis out and committing acts of violence against them, and the crowd ate it up with gallant enthusiasm.

Whoever said democracy works had simply never seen a crowd. This was an absolute monarchy, and yet it was still a furious mob that surrounded them.

The Mushroom Kingdom was ending, Toadsworth realized. There was no going away from this road once they went down it, and they were going down it like a speeding car.

This is how liberty dies, Toadsworth realized. With thunderous applause.

Finally, the Chancellor’s newest plan was set into motion. His Secret Army attacked mid-speech, with Yoshis and Dry Bones assaulting the crowd, each of them dressed in yellow garb that read only one thing: “RESISTANCE.”

An act like this would surely lead to war. As the bodies of Toads began to pile up on the grass and fireballs shot out and burned a dozen at once, this was the moment when it all disappeared. Toadsworth’s hope of anything resolving itself peacefully. The ghosts of the dead would haunt him forever.

So, in this, he decided to no longer regret his actions. He would fulfill them to the end.

 

* * *

 

“You are the number one force in this country!” Toadsworth shouted at a batch of new recruits for the New Army. They had disbanded the old military, as it was too loyal to the crown, and those captains that disagreed with their coup were thrown in prison deep within the Koopa Bros. fortress. Not that Toads were particularly fierce combatants, but it was something of a struggle to create this new military force. “I expect the very best from all of you, and if you do not fulfill this expectation, you will be expelled from the New Army. That being said, I believe in you! I know you will keep our forces safe from those who threaten to upend our order.”

One of the recruits raised her hand. He called on her. “Hey, I signed up to kill me some Koopas,” she said. “When do I get to do that?” There was a bit of canned laughter from the group.

“You may not kill Koopas, or anyone for that matter, if they are not already attacking you. or unless ordered to do so.” The crowd let out a groan of disappointment. “I know, I know. But you’ll get your chance, don’t worry. The Koopa Resistance and their foul ways must be stopped, for they appear to leave violence on the table at every juncture.”

These recruits would do nicely. They would replace the dying ember of a country the Mushroom Kingdom once was, and turn it into a roaring flame of passion and strength. They would Make the Mushroom Kingdom Great Again.

 

* * *

 

“Do you like my design?” Grandma Toadstool asked. “Does Princess Peach really... want this? It is a bit strong for her new dress...”

“Thank you, my dear,” Toadsworth said. “It will help the Princess quite a lot.”

Grandma Toadstool had been Peach’s nanny since before Toadsworth even had joined the Royal Court, hence her very familiar name. She was mostly senile now and easy to convince of anything, but he still lamented that they had to use her like this. She didn’t even know that Peach was deposed, and most likely already dead.

But she was still useful. She had designed most of the best outfits in the kingdom in her youth, and now she had given the Mushroom Kingdom a new insignia: a bright-red mushroom with furrowed brows and a striking sword behind it. This would symbolize the new kingdom, a place for Toads and a place for peace, but a peace brought forth by strength.

He liked it.

 

* * *

 

The Chancellor was making another speech to the New Army. A full four battalions were gathered here for this speech, listening to the Chancellor’s every word as he extolled the strength of the new Mushroom Kingdom and his plan to force peace on the entire region.

Toadsworth once again hardly listened. There was no point, because he WROTE the speech. Its delivery was second to the words that dripped off the page. If he was going to create a new kingdom worth showing off on the world stage, then it needed to be the ultimate one. It needed words that would piece like no other.

And then there was a rumbling. As if the ground were shaking in excitement from the arrival of this new government, this new order, this new Toadsworth--

“ROOOOOOAR!”

Holy shit!

By the time Toadsworth even realized what was happening, it was too late to stop any of it. There was a three-headed Bone Dragon sticking out of the ground, and two figures atop it.

The Lordess Bowsette and Princess Peach.

Toadsworth and the Chancellor exchanged glances, and the Chancellor ran back inside into the Castle, too afraid to deal with this fight.

However, the true leader of the Mushroom Kingdom was not afraid. Toadsworth pointed, and screamed. “CHARGE AT THE TRAITORS!”

The New Army complied, attacking the Bone Dragon with all their might. 

But...

But.

It was useless. Bowsette, now apparently equipped with bat-like wings, began flying around the castle grounds, shooting fireballs at the military below her and picking up and throwing Toads as she passed by them. Peach whacked the ones near her with a frying pan, and then of course the Bone Dragon itself was making a quick meal out of the combatants.

Bowsette made no attempt to avoid conflict, and clearly relished in this. She slammed a Toad face-first into the ground and laughed. “Kakakakaka!” 

And then in one flash-step, she disappeared, and reappeared just in front of Toadsworth himself.

“What’s going on, bub?” She showed off the sharpened claws at her fingertips. She grinned with all her fangs showing proudly.

“I.. I...” Toadsworth wanted to die. It was what he was wishing for all of this time. To die honorably, to have his grandchildren be able to look back and remember him with fond memories as they continued their education. To have his legacy printed in a chapter of history books taught to their own grandchildren.

But he wasn’t killed. He was thrown to the ground, his back cracking against the concrete, but he was still alive, still conscious, and still able to see his New Army wiped out by two women and a skeleton dragon.


	68. Chapter 68: Nabbit's Last Visit

#  Chapter 68: Nabbit’s Last Visit

Ok! Ok! Ok!

Nabbit learned he had a good power. Real cool stuff, really. He knew he was fast. He was very fast indeed. That wasn’t a problem. The real problem was that he didn’t know just how fast he was. This would have saved him a lot of time. Really would have.

Running on water! So cool. Gotta show the kids that. The kids could probably do it already. Just didn’t tell old pops about it. All sixty of’em. 

Well, time to bag another one. Not bag another treasure. He already did that. Bag some people. Not literally. Just an expression. Don’t worry.

So as Nabbit ran down the water and past the Savage Sea he thought of a cool good plan to enact. He was going to get this guy to join him. For sure. Or else. 

There was Diamond City in the distance. A few skyscrapers jutting out. Some pink, yellow, and red towers that were very obvious. Most importantly the big island just before the coast. Big wasn’t true. It was very small. Just one building. But it was a big building.

He ran off the water and back onto the land of this island and then he ran into the building and realized he couldn’t stop running that well because he was very good at going fast but going slow was not something he was good at and oh no he was crashing into a robot and he was tumbling against the wall and up the stairs and he kept tumbling and crashing and-- Oof-- he came to a complete stop.

Okay that was fine now he just needed to find the good doctor himself.

He opened a research lab where-- not a research lab. It was a girl with glasses sitting against a wall and reading a book. The cover of the book showed two adult men staring at each other very closely and blushing. The girl screamed at Nabbit. Nabbit left. He wasn’t going to get help if he kept doing that.

He opened a research lab where-- that was a blue robot. Not a doctor.

He opened a research lab where-- Dr. Crygor was there! Hey, Doctor, how ya doing? Remember Nabbit? Wanna help out on something cool?

“Hey Doctor,” Nabbit said. “How ya doing? Remember me? Wanna help out on something cool?”

“...Hello? And who is this?” Dr. Crygor asked. Behind him there was a glass wall protecting him from a series of explosions. Big ones. He was testing some new battle armor, looked like.

“I got a message from the Mushroom Kingdom! Or, from Bowsette, the gal who used to rule the Mushroom Kingdom. Also Bowserland. It’s a bit of a mess. Not really a big details guy so that’s okay. I got the message though.”

“Um, yes?”

“Join us! We’re going to save the world by fighting stuff,” Nabbit said. “Or, they are. I don’t care. I just like nabbing stuff. Bagging stuff. Grabbing stuff. The usual.”

“Can you... give me some more details?” Dr. Crygor asked. “I am a very busy scientist here. I am working very hard on--”

“Some new evil dude who wasn’t alive but is alive now is back and wants to come back to life even though I guess he kind of already did, once again it’s kind of a mess so ignore all the details and just focus on the fact that we want you to help out somehow and be a cool general in an army. Do you know how to fight?”

“W...Wait. What evil dude?”

“Uh, Morton Koopa or something?”

Dr. Crygor froze. “My word, that is why Mad Scienstein hasn’t contacted me in so long... the world truly is ending. I still remember the time of Morton’s great terror on the world. An era where fear was powerful and all submitted to the whims of Dark Land. A horrible place. People think current times are tough, but-- Wait, why do you want me to help?”

“I heard you were good with technology and stuff. You’re making armor, we need armor. You got a blue robot, we need blue robots. You got some teenager sulking around, we actually don’t need that sorry.”

At that moment the same teenage girl stormed into the lab, her pigtails bouncing about with each stomp. “Who the heck is this guy?” she asked Dr. Crygor.

“Penny, I’m sorry, I’m trying to... speak with him.”

Nabbit turned to the girl. “Hey. I’m Nabbit. I bag things, I grab things, I nab things. If you ever need a thief, I’m like a Hudson Hawk for a new generation. A Super generation. Here’s my card. Oops I stole the card back. Not a magic trick. Just speed. Here it is again. Ha, guess I’ll be seeing you again.”

“Grandpa...”

“Mr. Nabbit, please tell me more about this. Why is Morton Koopa alive again?”

“I dunno. I don’t even know who that is. I just delivered this message to you. You want in?”

“Well... Before Mad Scienstein disappeared, he and I were working on a large and very secret project. We had excavated a site from the former Smithy Factory and found a whole lot of old machinery that we were trying to revitalize. Pretty dangerous. Very illegal. But we were highly successful in jump-starting some of the technology. We even found a working model of Smithy himself. Controlled, of course. I’m not a madman. Well...” He laughed.

“Pretty dangerous? Very illegal? I’m in for all of this,” Nabbit said. “Come with me. Come to the Mushroom Kingdom with me. Or, uh, somewhere. I’m meeting up with a lot of people. Even though most people I talked to said no. Like Bomberman. And Wario. And Waluigi. 9-Volt and 18-Volt said no. That one was sad. Orbulon was a definite no. Princess Shokora wasn’t evil enough. Captain Syrup said huh-uh. Whatever. Very sad.”

“Did you... just ask all of my associates before me? I’m... a little hurt.”

“I was just going down a list.”

“In what order was this list?”

“Order of priority.”

Dr. Crygor steamed. Penny steamed too, but for a different reason. 

“You know, we will help! But we must prepare our technology for you first, so give us some time!”

“Time’s short. Do it fast. Fast is better. Better than safe, probably.”

“Wait, ‘we?’” Penny asked.

“Yes. We are going to take down Morton Koopa together!” he exclaimed. “It will be great family bonding time. Like the time we upgraded my laser eye.”

“Didn’t that... put you out of commission for six months?”

“That doesn’t matter. We bonded.”

The girl slumped her shoulders. Dr. Crygor was really determined. Nabbit was really happy. He finally got a second person to help out. It only took eighty-five conversations to finally recruit someone worth having! Yeah!

They were right on their way to getting Seven Generals, probably. Definitely. Nabbit was proud. And he got to steal a lot of stuff.


	69. Chapter 69: Breakdown

#  Chapter 69: Breakdown

Peach buried herself in her wife’s arms and tried to let her life disappear before her eyes. Just so that she wouldn’t have to think about any of this anymore.

“It’s... It’s so stupid! How did I not see any of this coming?” Peach cried. “They had been hiding this from me the whole time and I was so focused on.. on stupid things!”

“Mamma-mia,” Bowsette said. “Yeah, you might be screwed here.”

There was rioting going on in the streets of Toad Town, of Shroom City, of Koopa Village, even at this very moment. Down Under Land had finally seceded, and the kings of Mushroom World were currently convening on whether to take action. She trusted Toadsworth to give her reports on this and to help her rule while she was away. But... she never expected him to be in on this revolt from within!

“My parents would be... so disappointed in me.”

“Peach, don’t say that. It’s not your fault. Your advisors--”

“My advisors were strong because I let them be strong, because I didn’t want to be as direct a ruler as the people needed me to be. Now the kingdom is falling apart and it’s all my fault. Literally all of it. I-- wait.”

“Wait?”

“I just realized. I’m starting to sound exactly like you,” Peach said. She chortled. “Wow, I finally understand how you feel, Bowsette. When everything is collapsing and all you can think about was what you did or didn’t do that all led right up to this. Holy darn this feels awful.”

“Yeah. Well... I’m getting over it. Don’t let yourself fall into the trap. I don’t want to have to be the emotionally mature one here...”

“What am I going to do, Bowsette?” Peach asked.

“You must do what you feel is right, of course.”

“Well, that’s lousy advice.”

“Go out there and tell them how you feel. Don’t hold back. No civility allowed. I know you can do it, because you’ve done it before.”

“Yeah...” Peach let go of her wife and got up. she adjusted the crown on her head and made sure her outfit wasn’t wrinkled. “I’ll do it.”

“Just make sure you don’t cause uproar that’s TOO big,” Bowsette said. “We do need to go on one more adventure right after this.”

“Understood. Roger.”

Peach went down the stairs and entered the foyer, and then stepped outside, where there were tens of thousands-- no, maybe HUNDREDS of thousands, standing before the castle grounds. They were people of all races, all creeds, all genders, all walks of life. Many had been injured in the fighting. Many were about to start fighting at any moment; there were bandana-clad Koopas and pink-shirted Toads among the group, and the Toads were more than willing to start shouting at the Koopas even when Peach’s personal guard was there to keep the order.

She wasn’t willing to trust bodyguards, though. Too many of her own had willingly joined Toadsworth and the Chancellor. She couldn’t even bear to look them in the eyes, she hated them so much. And she hoped they rotted away in that prison cell, the same one that Bowsette had been placed in about one year ago.

So much had changed since then. 

“The people of the Mushroom Kingdom.” she began. The entire crowd went silent. Even the arguing political activists were hushed. “The kingdom has failed you. I have failed you. But most importantly, you have failed yourselves.

“I want to say that this is all my fault, that I should have been more proactive in keeping the peace and setting a good example. But I have been out trying to save the world all this time, and I do not regret my actions one bit. I could blame it all on Bowsette, whose short rule over this kingdom was marked with strife and aggression. But she was only a symptom of what was really wrong. She did not have unlimited power over you, or any of us. She only had fear on her side.

“By the way.” Peach held up her hand and flashed her wedding ring. “Bowsette and I were married recently. With that, I am officially changing my title. I am the King of the Mushroom Kingdom, like my father before me, no longer a mere princess to be puppeted around by advisors. And Bowsette will be my side as Queen. There is nothing more symbolic than a human and Koopa falling in love together, is there?”

The crowd went into a frenzy of gasps and shouts from all sides. Many pink-shirted Toads were pushing out of the crowd and walking away, presumably to begin plotting for some new acts of violence. The Koopas largely cheered, but several of them began throwing things onto the stage as well.

“However.”

The scene went quite again.

“That won’t matter much anymore,” Peach continued. “Because the Mushroom Kingdom has fallen into ruin. My father’s goal was to bring this into a place of unity and peace, a place for any species to roam free and cooperate with one another to help bring each other up. We lived happily for a while, but maybe it was all a charade, a sham. Maybe I was simply never looking closely enough to see the discord brewing underneath. Because in the past year, you people have shown yourselves to be more divided than ever.

“My advisors took advantage of you, using violence to gain further control and seize the government in a military coup. But they would not have been able to take advantage of you if you were not so craven, so bigoted toward one another that you would stoop to such low levels of hatred. You’re supposed to love each other. But you seem to have no capability to do so.

“So in that, I no longer want to rule people like you. I’m done with that. From now on, I am dedicating myself to one thing, and one thing only: saving the world from Morton Koopa, the new ruler of Dark Land. He is planning a great war that will plunge the world into another thousand years of death and destruction, and if we do not stop him now, we may never be able to. That is much more important than managing the masses here.

“In this, I am officially dissolving the Mushroom Kingdom. The Mushroom World kings have been deliberating about their own course of action, and to them I say that they can decide for themselves how to rule. Because it is there. The dissident territories who have requested autonomy or independence can have it. It is there. If the Toads truly want their own ethnically-cleansed insular country, then they can make one. But I will not be a part of it. I no longer care.

“From now on, I will be staying here at my castle, and anyone who wishes to assist my effort to defeat King Koopa can come here. But outside the castle grounds, everything else, is no longer my domain. It can be anyone else’s. I simply don’t care.

“That will be all. Guards, please escort the crowds off my property.”

Peach went back inside before the people could go into too much of an uproar, but a wave of noise still permeated the castle walls. It was almost deafening.

Bowsette, who had been listening from inside, was slack-jawed. “You...”

“I realized something during my speech,” Peach said. “We forgot Toadette in Shiver City. I wonder how she’s holding up with her ‘cousin?’”

“You...”

“Well, we’re finally ready to go. Let’s find that Axe. And you’d better tell me about Clawdia Koopa.”

“You.... Yeah... Yeah, let’s go.” Bowsette flapped her wings and hovered a few inches to meet her wife and kiss her on the cheek. “I’m proud of you.”

Peach and Bowsette left the castle grounds, and left the Mushroom Kingdom for the very last time.


	70. Chapter 70: My First Wife

#  Chapter 70: My First Wife

It was far to the South of the Mushroom Kingdom, past the Dry Dry Desert and along the coast, where they would find the Bananan Ruins, a small jungle deep within a  stretch of mountains and canyons, separated from the rest of the world around it. It looked like it would have been perfectly in place in a place like the Kremling Isle, but it was halfway across the world from there, in another continent entirely. That was what made the Bananan Ruins so interesting to Bowsette...

...and to her first wife. 

“No more Chain Chomping around. You have to tell me,” Peach said. She was currently dressed up in a really fancy jungle getup, with beige clothes and a special hat, but she still had short shorts on. Very attractive, Bowsette admitted, but terrible for walking around in a place where there were more types of insect species than there were sentient beings. Bowsette just wore her normal outfit, though, and hoped that her extremely high body temperature dissuade mosquitoes from bugging her. Ha, get it? Bugging her.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you,” Bowsette said. “Clawdia Koopa. My first wife.”

“Was she cute?”

“She’s cute. For a Koopa. You have to remember, our sense of beauty is different, so... my definition of cute is not the same as yours.”

“And yet we both think I’m cute.”

“Well, some opinions cross boundaries. Anyway, story time. Clawdia Koopa. She was my first love, but more importantly... She was my first General.

“My biological father abandoned me in the Kalimari Desert when I was a hatchling. I was the last of twenty-five children, a nuisance from a wife that had already betrayed him and had already been exiled to the furthest reaches of Sherbet Land. So for most of my life, I was raised by my real father, the Magikoopa Kamek, and my real grandmother, Kammy Koopa. The two were both busy as wizards and doctors in the local region that consisted of many nomadic races trying to survive in the wilderness, but they took the time to raise me properly, to teach me magic and how to be a strong leader.

“The whole time, I don’t think I had any idea that I was truly the child of a great King, with some royal blood inside of me that would propel me to heights unknown. I probably didn’t until adulthood. But my father did. I look back and realize he had been training me as a honed weapon to defeat Morton Koopa. My entire life was about enacting revenge against the man who had exiled him to the Kalimari Desert, and shaping me into a fearsome, charismatic warrior. And it worked.

“By the time I came of age, most of my other siblings were gone. Many died of old age, or of natural causes, or of accidents in dangerous magical research. It varied a lot. But many began to rebel and plot against Morton, who had somehow lived many centuries past the point he should have. That rebellion was quashed and all of my siblings involved were turned to stone and hidden away in some deep cavern we will never discover. Soon, I was the only one living. Morton had acquired a new wife to sire a final child, the perfect heir, but he had forgotten that one child still lived. 

“When I touched my toes on the earth of Dark Land for the first time since early childhood, I essentially began a rebellion at that very moment. The revolution that would take down Morton Koopa for good. I was unable to fight the battles myself, naturally, but Morton Koopa for the first time in his life began to fear. I had united many villages in hatred against him, just like the Koopalings are doing right now, and while his Koopa Troop army was effective in putting down resistance, the embers within their hearts were never able to simmer.

“For the next five years, I began to look for weapons to defeat Morton with, something that would actually work against an invincible Koopa King, as well as a group of lieutenants to lead into battle that would be able to fight alongside me, the seven Great Generals. And that was where I met Clawdia Koopa, back in the Kalimari Desert. She was a Koopa, just like me, who had been cast out by her family and left to survive in the wasteland all her life. But she had never had a family. She learned to live on her own, to survive off robbing passers by, to survive off hunting and gathering. I was a young Koopa obsessed with finding power. She was a young Koopa haunted by a life lived in constant turmoil. We collided and began our messy relationship immediately.

“We met out of desperation, and now that the Koopa Troop was actively pursuing me across the world, we fought together to survive. We thrived. While I was the largest and most powerful for sure, she was agile, quick, and ruthless. She was my Knight, and I was her pearl. A whole lot of my fighting style as Bowsette was based on what Clawdia had taught me. It wasn’t as effective when I was eight feet tall and hulking huge, but at this size I am perfect for it. I can be your Knight now, Peach, and that pleases me greatly. 

“Clawdia and I probably weren’t meant for one another, but we stayed together in a passionate romance for the duration of the next five-year revolution. Together, we assembled the Firestone Amulet, a powerful magical device that would imbue a weapon, a person, a place, with infinite, but temporary, power. We didn’t know how we would use it, but to keep it safe, Clawdia kept the red gem around her neck at all times. It was never safer than it was at that point.

“I found six more Generals who would support me in my quest, sometimes in exchange for territory, for power, sometimes in exchange for friendship, for loyalty. Goomboss, the ambitious despot whose self-defeating nature always undermined his ability to rule. Whomp King, the isolated, gruff ruler of a floating fortress, always a little stubble on his stony chin. General Guy, whose command over the Shy Guys was impeccable but his ambition and ideas always too thin, too hesitant to be on his own. King Bob-omb, a regal and long-serving ruler caught in a generation-long civil war between the red and black Bob-ombs, one that still rages today. King Boo, the eccentric and enigmatic ghost of some unknown ruler from eons past. And Crystal King, the reserved, cold warlord from the great white north, and the most powerful being of the whole army, aside from myself...

“...and aside from Clawdia. She was my first general. The only one I didn’t have to fight to recruit. The only one I could go to bed with and wake up knowing for sure she wouldn’t inevitably betray me. Before the invasion of Dark Land had begun in earnest, our love had produced a child, Ludwig, with another two on the way: Lemmy and Iggy. Despite all the risks, we left the child in the care of Kammy and Kamek and began our final assault.

“You see, Clawdia came up with a plan that would end up ensuring our victory over Morton. We knew that he had a new wife, and a new child surely along with that. So we kidnapped them both, just as the invasion was beginning. It turned out that the wife had been wanting to leave Morton’s sphere for a very long time and was glad to get away, but she also did not want to raise this child. So we were left with a hatchling, barely out of his shell, one that Morton may not have even known about yet, being so preoccupied with the war at hand. My younger brother. 

“And dear Clawdia, my wife, she decided we would raise this child together. In a bit of intentional irony, we named him Morton Jr., and he became my eldest son. Whenever I look at him, I see my father, but I also see myself. And I’m proud of him to this day for being the terrifying villain that he can be. Uh, not that I support villainy anymore, per se. Anyway... Now, with the impetus of needing to raise a new family together, we fought much harder. Harder than we ever had before. We needed Dark Land to be the kind of lava-covered kingdom that we could raise a family in, that we would finally be able to live in without fear of death. And so Morton had to be defeated.

“With the help of the False Millenium Star’s magical energies, we were able to take back most of Dark Land, cornering all of Morton’s armies to the region surrounding Castle Koopa. But the final battle was a siege we were simply unprepared for. Even Crystal King’s forces were being repelled at rapid rates. My wife and I fought on though, and we stormed the castle.

“Morton was too powerful for either of us. Too powerful for both of us. Too powerful for all eight of us, even. He very nearly killed King Bob-omb, and his militia of Dry Bones warriors began to decimate our armies, unable to die without a Power Star and unable to tire out at any cost. So Clawdia and I used the Firestone Amulet. In one swift move, I launched Clawdia off of me, and onto Morton, who stood at four times her height and swinging an Axe around that could have evaporated her in one cut. She attacked him up close, stunning him for just one moment, and one moment that we took advantage of. I took the Axe from his grasp, activated the Firestone Amulet, and set it to power the Axe.

“In a burst of literally infinite energy, I used that Axe and cut Morton down. It took not one, not two, but eight strikes until he stopped breathing. He was simply too powerful at the height of his power. If you had been there, you would understand, Peach. We had to give everything to defeat him. Everything.

“Once the war was over, we suddenly were thrust into the role of leadership. We tried to make a council of the eight of us, but Clawdia and I had too much power with the two of us, and after Whomp King and Crystal King departed, we effectively became Emperor and Empress together. After Wendy was born, we even had a Royal Family that was growing larger and made for great public imagery. The other Generals simply fell from the limelight.

“So did Clawdia. Being a mother of six rambunctious children was very difficult for her, and the stress levels were very high. She was never too fond of Morton Jr., who fought with Ludwig constantly and always looked down on his siblings. He got over it with age, but Clawdia didn’t.

“Our last child together, Larry, was the end of it all. Clawdia was so stressed by all the childrearing, about her fading spotlight as I assembled my new kingdom, that I guess she couldn’t take it anymore. Postpartum depression, or something. So she just... I’m sorry. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her. We weren’t compatible, maybe. Not like you and me. But we were in love, and that was what mattered at the time.”

“That’s so... Bowsette, that’s so sad...” Peach was moved nearly to tears by this.

“It’s not that bad. I still got seven wonderful children out of it,” Bowsette said. “Their royal blood may have been dissipated by the fact I married a commoner, but the only people that would have ever cared about that were Kamek, and Morton. Neither of whom I give any care to. And thanks to her, Norton’s Axe has been hidden away from the entire world... until now.”

They stepped into a temple buried under a growth of trees and vines. It was suddenly very quiet, the ambiance of the jungle disappearing behind them. 

“In all of it, the only thing I regret... is not telling you sooner,” Bowsette said. “Maybe if I had given you that whole spiel the first time I kidnapped you, I’d have seduced you right then. Women love a good tragedy, huh?”

“They do, but I am glad we didn’t fall in love in a kidnapping situation. The power dynamics there are uncomfortable, and... I would never be able to shake the feeling that I only fell in love with you because my mind tricked me into falling for my captor.”

“That’s a very fair point. I can’t believe we ended up together like this. Beauty and the Other Beauty.”

“Yep, and--”

“KEH KEH KEH KEH.”

A deep-throated laugh reverberated through the temple. 

“Is that the... Axe?” Peach asked.

“It’s a magic Axe, not an enchanted cartoon character,” Bowsette said. “No, that’s...”

A figure thudded to the ground. “Keh keh keh keh!” A blue haired, full-figured female Koopa wearing nothing but a gray necklace stood before them.

“Bowsette...”

The Koopa put her hands on her hips. “I KNEW it!” she shouted, pointing at Bowsette. “I friggin’ KNEW it!”

“Bowsette...????”

“That’s Clawdia,” she replied.


	71. Chapter 71: The Axe and the Angel

#  Chapter 71: The Axe and the Angel

“That’s your wife????” Peach asked in a daze. “I thought she....”

“She what? Died?” Bowsette balked. “No. She walked out on me and her entire family to ‘go find herself’ and then disappeared completely.”

“You sure still found me,” Clawdia said, her toothy, sharp-fanged grin a clear mirror to Bowsette’s own typical smle.

“Kakakaka... Woman, you have no idea what kind of spies I have around here,” Bowsette said. “My network is vast.”

“Or you just remembered the place where we found the first piece of the Firestone Amulet... Where we first made love...”

Peach blushed and tried to distance herself from this conversation, but Bowsette kept her by her side. “Whatever. I just can’t believe after all this time, you’d still just... be here.”

“What can I say? I like it in the Bananan Ruins,” Clawdia said. “Lots of stuff to kill. Nobody around. No responsibilities except keeping yourself alive. Weather’s always warm, but not too warm. It’s a paradise.”

“But what about... our children?”

Clawdia shrugged. “Sorry. I’m not perfect. I was your Angel of Death. Not your Angel of Motherhood.”

Peach raised an eyebrow. “Angel of Death?”

“My nickname for her.”

“Your relationship was weird...”

“You don’t know the half of it, honey,” Clawdia says. “This one over here, for a good two years, refused to go to sleep without a plush doll to hold. Said it was an anxiety thing.”

“We were fighting a bloody revolution! I really needed some comfort!”

“Sex was good enough comfort for me,” she said. “Keh keh keh... I KNEW you were a girl inside, uh... Bowsette. Kind of a cheap name change, isn’t that?”

“Wait, what?” Bowsette asked. “What are you talking about, you ‘knew?’”

“We were inseparable, honey. We knew everything about each other. And you expect me not to remember all those conversations we had? About the way you felt detached from yourself, your masculinity some weird guise?”

“I mean... I never said anything about feeling like a woman. I... I didn’t even realize it myself until I had been Bowsette for half a year!”

“Well... it’s hard to get past the fact you were the sweetest, most emotionally vulnerable little Koopa out there, and I loved you for it. But... stereotypes and all, I never wanted to just confront you about it. Probably should’ve.”

“Yeah... that would have utterly changed the course of the rest of my life, Clawdia,” Bowsette said. “Wow, I wish you had told me.”

“And I wish... I had done a lot of things differently,” Clawdia said. Her cheerful demeanor collapsed instantly and she fell to her knees, sobbing. Her necklace dangled off her neck. “I’m.. I’m so sorry, Bowsette... I never should have left you... My babies...”

Bowsette paid it no mind. “Well, I suspect you know why I’m here. You may not know the details, but I’ll give you the short of it. The world’s in danger. Morton Koopa has been revived as an undead skeleton and has taken over Dark Land again, all thanks to Kamek being a dumbass.”

“He... always was one...” Clawdia said, still shedding tears.

“Yeah. So... I need the Axe again. I don’t know if it’ll do any good this time with no Firestone Amulet, but... it’s our only shot. Five of the Generals are dead or incapacitated. We’re on our last legs. So, Angel of Death. Where is it?”

“Don’t... don’t call me that anymore,” Clawdia said. “I don’t deserve it.” She was practically bowing to Bowsette at this point. It was honestly a little pathetic. 

“Okay, Clawdia. Will you buck up, grow a shell, and give me what I’m here for?”

Clawdia got back up. Her shell, unassuming and smooth before, suddenly jutted out with spikes. “You can’t have the Axe,” she said. “I made a vow, with YOU, to keep it safe, so it would never again fall in the hands of anyone looking to use it for war. Including YOU.”

“Well... yeah... but...”

“Fight me for it.”

“Uh, no?” Bowsette shook her head. 

Clawdia extended her claws, snarled, and began circling around Bowsette. “You’ve gone all soft. Literally. You’re half a human now. Good look on you, but not a good look on you when you get pulverized. You’d better get out of the Bananan Ruins now, or I won’t hold back.”

Bowsette pushed Peach back a few steps and then clapped her hands together. Here was a new technique she had been working on recently: her entire body turned red, and fire jutted up around her, covering her in an aura of flames. “Kakakakakaka. Kakakakakaka!”

“Keh keh keh. Look at you. You think that fleshy body can stand up to me when we’re the same size now? You don’t stand a chance. I’ve lived in the wilderness for decades. You’ve lived the cushy royal life. We’re completely different beasts.”

“I don’t even have a Chomp Shell, you know,” Bowsette said. “I’m going to beat you down with my claws alone.”

Peach got the heck out of the way and let the two start circling around each other in the middle of this temple room.

Bowsette flashed her teeth.

“I’m getting that Axe.”


	72. Chapter 72: Koopa vs. Koopa

#  Chapter 72: Koopa vs. Koopa

The duel between Bowsette and Clawdia Koopa had officially begun, with Bowsette extending her wings and blasting forward to punch her ex-wife in the face with a fist full of fire. 

Duels between the two used to be common. They had trained together nearly every day in their five-year revolution against Morton Koopa. They knew each other’s fighting styles as well as they knew each other’s bodies.

The difference now was that Bowsette had a new body. And she had a new fighting style.

The martial arts heavy throws and kicks, the hard swipes and shell spins she was so known for as Bowser had been eliminated. She was powerful, but not enough to simply knock someone down with a gimpy smash like she once could. No, she was faster. She was smaller. She didn’t need to take the brunt of damage and shrug it off. In fact, she didn’t need to be hit at all.

Clawdia adapted quickly to this new her, though; she stopped trying to weave around to catch Bowsette by the tail to throw her around, and instead dropping into a defensive position. She curled up into her shell and shot a few of her spikes forward.

Bowsette couldn’t dodge these spikes, because they flew too fast, too furiously, and so several of them stuck into her and sent her flying backwards. She couldn’t use her wings again, clearly, because she would get them ripped up, but she did the next-best thing; after ripping the spikes out of her body and tossing them to the floor, she jumped up and shot out a fireball out of her mouth. Clawdia blocked it with her shell, but that was exactly the predictable kind of move she’d make. When Bowsette was just over the shell, before any more spikes could form and launch, Bowsette breathed out a stream of fire, levitating herself from the sheer force of the blast and burning fire so hot around Clawdia that she begun to spin around as she hid inside her shell. Once Bowsette released, she dropped on the ground and kicked the shell with great force, sending it bouncing around the temple and very nearly hitting Peach in the face.

Every time the shell came near Bowsette, she bashed it again, sometimes with her fists, sometimes with her head, and let it ricochet rapidly around the room. Soon, when Clawdia actually worked out the will to escape from the inside of her shell, she was so dizzy that she simple crashed into the wall again, unable to control her movement.

“Kakakaka!” Bowsette rushed over to Clawdia and put her in a vice grip, latching her arm around her neck. Clawdia, still too disoriented to do much attacking, lashed her tail back and forth trying to strike against Bowsette, but she simply stepped on that tail and made her squeal out.

“Ready to say uncle?” Bowsette asked.

“What does that mean?”

“Are you ready to... give up?”

“Keh keh keh.” Clawdia slipped into her shell again, getting free of Bowsette’s grip, and then shooting out more spikes from the back of her shell. Most of them hit her, and really hurt too!

But Bowsette wasn’t even close to started with this. She jumped and somersaulted around and then kicked Clawdia in the chest, sending her reeling backwards. She followed it up with another fireball that impacted with great fiery force, and then finished with a tail whip to the forehead, knocking her to the ground. 

Clawdia laid on the ground, struggling and failing to get back up. 

“Looks like this is over,” Bowsette said. “Guess your survival skills weren’t so good in combat after all, huh?”

And then Bowsette felt something heavy at her feet, and her face crashed onto the floor. Clawdia had tripped her! Ahh--

Clawdia picked Bowsette up by the tail in that single moment and... humiliatingly... began spinning her around like a top. Just like Boom Boom, Clawdia’s spinning powers were a thing of miracles, and even Mario would be jealous about how easy it was to dispatch a foe in this manner.

Bowsette got too dizzy to remain fully conscious of her surroundings, just as Clawdia let go and she went flying into the wall.

With a crack--the wall cracked, that is--Bowsette flopped on the ground and remained completely unable to move probably for the rest of her life. Owwwww.....

“Keh keh keh keh!” Clawdia chortled. “Good fight.”

“Good... fight...”

Clawdia grinned. “Well, anyway, the Axe is yours. If you’re willing to fight me like that, I know you’re serious. So I’m willing to break my oath for that.”

Bowsette stumbled back onto her feet, and then fell forward. Peach helped her up. “You’re... Clawdia, why don’t you come with us? We still need more Generals for our army...”

“No.” The answer was as simple as that. Clawdia was not leaving this place. It had become a self-exile, much like Bowsette’s own almost two years ago. She finally started to understand her ex-wife’s emotions. After all these years wondering and regretting... Why hadn’t she reached out to her in all this time?

She wasn’t going to regret anymore. That was all.

Clawdia turned to Peach. “Take care of her, will ya? You guys are lovers or something, right?”

“We’re wives,” Peach said. “And... I will.”

“Ha. Never thought she’d get over me,” she said, smiling even though it was clear from her face that she was very upset about that fact. “Well... best of luck to you.”

“Thank you,” said Bowsette.

“Also,” Clawdia added. “Um.... Uh, I don’t know your name.”

“Peach, King of the Royal House Toadstool.”

Clawdia eyed Bowsette. “Well, Peach. I have a bit of advice to you. It might not be the same in that form, but-- the weak point’s the back of her knees.”

Peach blushed, but said, “Yeah. I know.”

“Keh keh. Well then, did you also know she’s really into tail pl--” Bowsette jumped in front of Clawdia and covered her mouth.

“Let’s go get that Axe!” Bowsette exclaimed.

Peach winked.

They went further into the temple where they eventually stumbled upon, well, an Axe. It was too big for any human to successfully wield, and big enough that even Bowsette in her Koopa form would have trouble doing much with it. However, it had been Morton’s most impressive weapon and the thing that defeated him as well.

It was a bit rusty, and cobwebs covered it. But it still looked as formidable as ever.

“There it is,” Clawdia said. “You sure about this?”

“Do you know any other way we could defeat him?”

“The... power of friendship? The power of self-actualization?”

“Oh, Clawdia.”

She had missed her. She no longer loved her, not in the same way. But... she still missed her.

“And I have to guess,” Peach said. “That necklace around Clawdia’s neck, that’s the Firestone Amulet?”

“It was,” Bowsette said. “It was a one-time use. It was originally bright red, and much bigger, but it shattered into a million pieces, leaving only that gray stone behind.”

“I keep it as a momento. It’s... all I have left.”

“There’s a chance that this Axe will still have some faint glimmer of the Firestone’s energy left imbued within it,” Bowsette said. “But even if not... then we can still use it to cut his head off, right?”

“Can you even wield that thing?”

“If I use it like a comically-oversized baseball bat, maybe? We’ll see.” Bowsette turned to Clawdia. “Thank you.”

“Will I ever...”

“See me again? Do you want to?”

“I... Is it okay if I see my children someday?”

Bowsette softly smiled. “If the battle goes well, and the Koopalings don’t still hate you, then... yeah. We’ll come back as a family to see you.”

“Then... good luck.”

“Keep on surviving,” Bowsette said.

“That’s all I ever do.”

Bowsette and Peach left the temple and headed back out towards the nearest warp pipe, with Bowsette storing the Axe safely in her hammerspace pouch until it would next be needed. Seeing Clawdia again like that... honestly, it made Bowsette feel a lot better about herself. Not to see someone suffering, but to realize that no, she wasn’t the only messed-up person in the world. Everyone was messed up in their own way, and dealing with it however they could.

“I do have one last thing to ask, though,” Peach said. 

“Yeah? What is it?”

“What about your second wife? The one you had Bowser Jr. with? Does she have some super dramatic story behind her too?”

Bowsette sighed. “Kylie Koopa...  is a lesson never to date anyone you meet in New Donk City. That’s all I’ll say about that.”

And that’s all Peach asked about that.


	73. Chapter 73: Knighthood

#  Chapter 73: Knighthood

Now that Peach’s castle no longer functioned as a center of a national government and was simply the estate of the absurdly rich, self-deposed King Peach, it was a lot quieter around here. Peach was very pleased about it that way. Other than her friends, her wife, and a few housekeepers and handmaidens, she had the whole castle to herself.

Thanks to this, she was able to set up an entire display with charts and maps and graphs for everyone to see. Everyone who ended up volunteering to join Peach’s war effort, that was. 

It was a total of about thirty people so far. She really hoped more people would join. There was an entire group of Toads, a Lakitu and Koopa couple that seemed a little too young to be joining this kind of fight, and a few of Mario’s former adventure partners, including Goombario and Kooper as well as Vivian and Admiral Bobbery.

Of course, there was also the usual crowd of Mario, Luigi, Captain Toad, Yoshi, and Birdo. Almost all of these people were among those who had fought and been defeated by Bowsette all that time ago. It was very interesting to see them all readily join back up to help save Bowsette’s homeland from self-destruction. 

The only notable absence was Toadette. Turns out, like Bowsette seemed to suspect, wasn’t actually visiting a cousin. Well, they were allegedly third cousins, but it was definitely not a family visit when Toadette ended up spending the night three times in a row. Apparently she had decided to stay in Shiver City with her new boyfriend for good and had fully moved in with him. Good for her...

Now that everyone was here that would likely be here, Peach cleared her throat and began discussing with them the entire situation.

“I want to tell everyone about what’s happening here, more of an update than last time for anyone who heard this before. We are facing a worldwide crisis and we’re going to need to get the world to unite to solve it, difficult as it may be,” Ironic for Peach to say this after she de-unified the Mushroom Kingdom, but unity in a spiritual sense was what she actually meant. “Morton Koopa, the undead King Koopa, is planning on reviving an ancient evil to destroy the planet. It is known as a Dread Lord, a kind of dragon from many eons ago, long before any of our races were even thought to have ever existed. Their main goal, according to legend, is to consume and destroy until there is nothing else, and then lay their eggs in the core of them planet before they cast themselves off into space towards a new destination. Then once the planet has revitalized itself millions of years later, new Dread Lords hatch and begin the process again.”

“Mamma-mia,” Mario said.

Luigi was shaking in fear, as usual.

Peach continued. “We will never be able to defeat a Dread Lord if fully revived. So we must stop Morton before he can do that, or even come close to doing that. But the last time Morton was destroyed, it took seven complete armies as well as a special magical amulet that no longer exists. So as far as we have been able to figure, there is no foolproof way to win this.”

Now the Toads were shaking in fear as well. 

“But, uh, fortunately, because Morton is undead, even if he is a sixteen-foot-tall behemoth, he is nowhere near the height of his power. We may be able to take him down much more easily this time. But even so, we will still need to gather a force large enough to defeat the Koopa Troop and free the people of Dark Land that have been subjugated to his rule.

“If you look here, this is a list of our current coalition. We have two Generals with forces that will allow us to fight in large-scale battles: Whomp King and King Boo. There is also Bowsette’s son Iggy, who is leading a resistance force within Dark Land at this very moment. Beyond that, though we have nothing. Our, um, ally Nabbit has been apparently trying to recruit more forces, but he has gotten mixed success so far, as far as we’ve heard.

“Therefore, I am going to institute a new drive that will change everything. All of you, you who have decided to join me in saving the world and risk your lives, will be a part of my army. House Toadstool will lend its full support to Bowsette’s Army and I will act as a General. I do not have significant combat experience, and I assume none of you do either. Even my guards are relatively untrained. But we have Bowsette here, as well as Mario and Luigi and several others, who will begin training all of us. Before long, we will be able to fight just the same as the rest of them.”

Bowsette and the others were taken aback by this. She hadn’t consulted about it with them. But they surely knew that in this time of need, desperate measures were needed, so she didn’t think it was necessary.

“Even though House Toadstool no longer governs a nation, it is still a powerful royal estate, and therefore I am instating a new rank for those who fight for me to the ends of the Earth. You will not be my soldiers in any small sense. You will be Knights of the Toadstool. With swords and everything.”

This certainly made a lot of the Toads interested, but some of them were clearly about to go home after this because apparently danger and training weren’t actually what they had signed up for.

That didn’t matter, not to Peach. She only wanted those who would be brave enough to serve, so those others were right in leaving. 

“So, is everyone ready? Because we’re going to start tomorrow, first thing in the morning. If you want to become a knight, here is your chance.”

She looked over to Bowsette, who was grinning like a madwoman.

She grinned back.


	74. Chapter 74

#  Chapter 74: Training Day

Peach, dressed up in her tennis clothes, met up with all the new Toadstool trainees that would shortly be getting into what could become the most important part of their lives.

Despite the initial hesitancy, as far as Peach could tell, every single person from the original meeting yesterday had shown up here. There were actually a few more; there were a couple Spikes here now, and that Doogan badge salesman Rowf had even shown up. 

This was going to be exciting. 

Since she was no longer going to act as a regal King Peach like she was doing, she took her place among the crowd, as she was going to be participating in the training just as everyone else.

Bowsette, who had hardly been able to wake up in the morning thanks to staying up too late fretting about her children and about saving the planet again, was just now walking outside, carrying a Strong Coffee in her hand and gulping it down. 

Peach smiled at her, but she hadn’t noticed her yet. 

“Hi, Miss Princess? Or, King? Lady Peach?”

“Oh, ah, yes?” She turned around and saw the two Koopas she had noticed before, both in cute pigtails and dressed up like they were about to do yoga. Since the Lakitu one was no longer on a cloud, she stood a full head shorter than her partner, though they both still held hands.

“We just wanted to say, um...” the Koopa stammered.

“We just wanted to say we think you’re a badass and awesome!” the Lakitu shouted.

“Lulu...”

“Sorry. We always thought you were some royal pansy but then we heard your speeches about how you don’t care about what people think and how people need to stop being jerks to everyone else and, like... you’re too cool. Man... I can’t believe I’m talking to you...”

“Well, you know what? It’s true. I am a royal pansy. I didn’t do enough to help stop the violence and dismay happening in the Mushroom Kingdom, and by the time I acted it was too late. The seeds sown had already grown into weeds, choking the lifeblood of the soil away.”

“See? She even says cool stuff in normal talking,” the Lakitu said. “Peach? You’re our hero. And to help the cause of Koopas getting treated fairly we’ve decided to help you out, even if it means risking our lives. Because a hero like you doesn’t deserve to go alone, okay?”

“I’m no hero,” Peach said. 

“That’s what heroes say!” 

“Lulu, let’s stop bugging her...”

“Oh, uh, okay. Sorry Princess King Peach!” the two, still holding hands, scampered away to another spot on the field.

Suddenly, Peach felt an arm around her shoulder. She could tell from the heat alone that it was her wife. 

“Ah, young love,” Bowsette said. “Isn’t it beautiful?”

“We got married one month ago,” Peach said. “Aren’t we young love too?”

“Are we not beautiful too?”

“Oh, stop it.”

“Hey, what’s that?!” a voice shouted. 

People started pointing to an object floating in the sky.

“Wait, why is he coming now?” Peach asked. “I thought we said four thirty.”

“Maybe he thought it was four thirty AM and he’s actually a couple hours late?” Bowsette suggested sarcastically.

Peach ran in front of the trainees and waved her hands around. “Sorry, everyone! Nothing to see there!” she shouted. “That’s just Whomp King, one of our new Generals, coming to see us. He’ll be here shortly, but we do still need to start our training, okay?”

The Generals were coming today to being assembling their forces together and figuring out a real battle plan. But they still needed to start training their own small army, so they needed to kick this into overdrive.

“Bowsette, you better train us hard. Like, to death.” 

“Whatever you say, my dear,” Bowsette said, smirking. 

Peach should have been more careful with her words, however. Because the training this day was more grueling than anything she’d ever been through in her entire life.


	75. Chapter 75: The Generals

#  Chapter 75: The Generals

Wow.

Bowsette hadn’t seen anything like it in a long time. And that was saying something considering how many times she had forced her entire armies to gather around the castle while she made some big puffy speech about how they were going to bring down the Mushroom Kingdom once and for all, or whatever.

But the Generals were finally assembling. Whomp King’s Fortress floated directly above Peach’s Castle, and its Whomp and Thwomp denizens patrolled the castle grounds in case of any attackers.

It wasn’t likely, of course; even with the dissolution of the union that created the Mushroom Kingdom, the local municipalities of each city and each region were still around and still surviving. The Mayor of Toad Town was already beginning discussions with its neighboring cities to form a Republic.

Not that Bowsette actually believed that it would all go down without any bloodshed, especially with those bigot nationalist Toads still marching around in their pink shirts chanting about keeping Toad Town “pure.” There was bound to be some fighting once power-hungry authoritarians started trying to carve up a little slice of territory for themselves. That was one of the main reasons she ended up consolidating power in Dark Land for herself; if she was the central ruler, then it would discourage the kind of chaos that these situations usually caused.

However, in the end, she became just the kind of authoritarian that her biological father was. Less brutal, but still a military dictator through and through. So she would admit fully that she was simply wrong.

 

King Boo had also arrived with his many ghosts now haunting one of the side houses near the castle where guests used to stay when the castle was in governmental use. It was much better that way than to allow the Boos to inevitably haunt and torture the living residents of the castle proper. He greeted Bowsette with a lick to the face, but he and Luigi seemed to be hitting it off better than usual, because Luigi actually went to the guest house of his own accord to visit.

Along with King Boo arrived his daughter Lady Bow, who immediately greeted Mario with a kiss on the lips. Just when Bowsette had started to think that Mario’s history with the ladies was through and through, another example popped up. Who HADN’T he had his plumberly ways with?

Still, this place was getting a lot livelier now that there were two new armies inhabiting Peach’s castle. Along with the trainees trying to become Knights of the Toadstool, it was almost more people than inhabited the place on a normal occasion. Bowsette honestly felt a bit uncomfortable around so many people. Unlike Bowser’s Castle of days past, this place did not have the space and wide-open arenas for so many people at once. The entire dining hall had been turned from a fancy eating area into what was essentially a cafeteria. They were at the Toadstool Battle School, practically.

Bowsette tolerated it as well as she could. It was still nice these past weeks with being able to train Peach. She had gotten used to her frying pan as a weapon, so Bowsette let her expand upon that, using a magic-infused frying pan that had elemental wind attacks to go along with each swing. She was no adept, but she didn’t collapse after two clashes with Bowsette and a training sword anymore, so it was good progress.

Of course, Bowsette had been training on her own too. Her powers were starting to increase in ways that she had never predicted. Along with her ability to generate fire from any part of her body by increasing her core body temperature, she had also learned to use the flaps of her wings to push opponents away from her, and to do it fast enough that it was useful in real combat situations. She had also figured out, by studying the way that her ex-wife Clawdia’s shell spikes worked, that she could actually do the same thing with her tail. There were three spikes on there that she could launch whenever she wanted; it’d take a while for them to reform, but it was very useful in a dire situation, even if it made her tail look less cool.

All of this was going to be nothing towards fighting Morton, though, and that’s why Bowsette continued training with the Axe as well, hoping and praying to Brighton that it would somehow work to destroy his skeleton even at low magical power, or with none at all.

Two generals wasn’t enough to defeat the forced of Dark Land. Even with Peach training to become the third and Iggy the presumed fourth, they were still three Generals short of a true fighting force. Nabbit should be reporting back any day though, so...

Bowsette was somewhat hopeful for once. That was weird and different.


	76. Chapter 76: YES FINALLY

#  Chapter 76: FINALLY YES

IT WAS THE DAY.

YES. AMAZING.

WOW!

They hadn’t gotten around to it in all this time due to extenuating circumstances like, Peach having to deal with a gaping electricity wound, or having to defy death and destruction by every foe imaginable. That kind of thing. But now it was time. 

Peach and Bowsette were taking a bath together. Warm, extremely warm, in fact, for Peach’s standards. But for Bowsette, it probably was barely lukewarm. Still, they both laid in the tub in a quiet peace, with Bowsette’s arms wrapped around Peach’s stomach, and Peach laying back on Bowsette’s very cushiony chest. She had seriously fallen asleep like this, albeit only for a couple minutes before Bowsette got scared that she had passed out.

Believe her, though, passing out was not the most unlikely option here. Training had been INCREDIBLY intense, and Peach was completely exhausted every evening after it was all over. For the first week after training started, she took several-hour baths every night just to calm her muscles down, and refused to even go near Bowsette because she was so mad that Bowsette had pushed her so hard.

Of course... it was a good thing.

Peach had finally started to be able to fight, for the first time in her life. She could actually kick and punch and wield a practice sword, or, more usefully, her magic-infused frying pan. Very fun stuff, she thought. And she really liked actually feeling useful for once in her life, rather than a sidekick to any of the action actually going on between the real combatants.

There was one more thing, though...

“Bowsette, can you teach me some magic? Combat magic?” Peach asked. She wrapped her fingers into Bowsette’s, and with Bowsette’s other hand she lathered shampoo into Peach’s hair. 

“Sure thing. What kind?”

“Anything. All I can do is make shields sometimes. I’m sure that I have more power than that, right?”

“I honestly have no clue. My father told me that-- uh my REAL father told me that the way my magic operates is different than most. I don’t have a soul with magical powers like most people; my magic is encoded into my DNA as a result of descending from celestial dragons or whatever.”

“Sounds like a lot of bullshit.”

“Probably. But I’ll try to help you. Knowing you, you can probably master ice magic really quickly.”

“And why is that?”

“Because,” Bowsette said. She squeezed Peach’s stomach suddenly and made her yelp. “That’d make you and me perfect opposites.”

They both giggled.

“I love this,” Peach said. “Just... this. Being married to you and taking baths with you and sleeping in the same bed as you and waking up seeing your pretty face. Two years ago I don’t think I could have even conceived of something like this.”

“Being married to your enemy?”

“Being married to a girl.”

“Wait...”

“I’ll admit it,” Peach said. “I hadn’t eliminated you completely as a romantic possibility, despite all those kidnappings. You were an awful brute, but... There was just something about you. I mean, it’s not like you’ve changed that much. You’re just... showing yourself better.”

“No, I mean wait on the other part.”

“Oh... I’ll admit this too. My experience with romance and women has been... very limited until you. Some experimenting with a friend Toadiko when we were teenagers, a couple flings here and there... Not one actual relationship until you. It was all princes and plumbers.”

“So I’m... special???” Bowsette was giddy saying this.

“The MOST special,” Peach said.”

Their bath continued like this, just warm feelings and warm water.


	77. Chapter 77: Lucky Days

#  Chapter 77: Lucky Days

Bowsette and Peach had been invited to a slightly fancy dinner over in Toad Town at Tayce T.’s house. She was still a big supporter of Former King Peach and had offered to cook her very best Shroom Steaks, as well as a Yummy Meal to cap it off for dessert. 

The couple had of course accepted, and Mario had come along with his newest muse, Lady Bow. Bowsette had learned a little more about that one; apparently back when Lady Bow and Mario became adventuring partners, they had become a lot more than that, and on their quest to rescue the Star Spirits they had actually gotten pretty serious together. Mario would have had to sacrifice his corporeal form and become a ghostly spirit to have actually married into the family, though, so it never went anywhere after the Star Rod was saved, but Bowsette thought it was very interesting that the two were picking up where they left off when King Boo had already seemed to take more than just a liking to Mario’s own brother.

It was a lot of dynamics that were a bit too weird for Bowsette to think too deeply into, so that was all that she was going to put into that for now.

Peach and Bowsette each received a Shroom Steak at the same time and dug in. Bowsette thought that the emphasis on vegetables over meat was not actually as good as she was hoping, as the carnivorous beast she was, but... holy crap Peach what are you doing.

Her wife was absolutely devouring the Shroom Steak as if it were some sort of monstrosity. This was... unbecoming of royalty. She guessed her training was starting to make a real impact on her calorie intake after all! It was so unexpected that Bowsette, Mario, and Bow couldn’t help but burst into laughter all at once, embarrassing Peach and making her stop.

“You guys are so rude...” 

“Hey, far be it from me to criticize your eating habits,” Bowsette said. “I’m glad you’re eating more, because that means you might get as buff as me one day.” Bowsette flexed her bicep and Peach giggled while rolling her eyes.

Mario laughed too, which caught Bowsette off-guard a little bit. He wasn’t too big of a laugher, but he had done so twice in a row. Was he just in a better mood, or was he showing off for Bow or something? It was hard to tell because the guy so rarely expressed himself.

Were the two of them REALLY going to be rivals still, in the future? Were they REALLY going to continue fighting and beating each other up, now that Bowsette was married to Peach, and the cycle of kidnapping and geopolitical standoffs was no longer going to be a factor? Now that, really, Bowsette probably wasn’t even ever going to rule a kingdom again unless something significant happened?

That’s what Mario had promised her when they slept together all that time ago. He probably didn’t even remember. It was, of course, stuck in Bowsette’s memory and would undoubtedly be there like a Jammin’ Jelly against a freshly-painted wall for the rest of her life. It made her blush every time Mario flirted with another girl, not out of jealousy, but on the unavoidable moment that her mind would flash to Mario making love with that same girl later in that night. Now that she had experienced it, and admittedly enjoyed it a lot, she had far too good of an ability to estimate how it would play out.

Of course, Mario's recent targets had been quite... interesting in terms of species. How did a human and a Goomba, or a human ad a Boo, even.... you know... make it work?

Augh, she had told herself she wouldn’t think about this kind of thing anymore!

Peach realized Bowsette was getting lost in thought again and nudged her, but then it only pushed Bowsette’s mind to a new topic: the fact that Peach and Bowsette, both having been romantic targets for Mario now, were sitting across from this dude and were probably both simultaneously thinking about this pretty awkward situation.

They were all adults. It just worked that way sometimes, you know? There was nothing wrong with it. Bowsette had needs, so did Mario. Peach and Mario’s on-and-off romantic endeavors were an oft-lamented fact of Mushroom Kingdom lore, but in the end the two didn’t ever end up really consummating it. In terms of a serious relationship, that was. Obviously they had consumated it otherwise.

Why was it always at these kinds of fancy dinners when Bowsette’s mind turned to topics of sex? Was it because the food was so good that nobody talked and she couldn’t fill her mind with any meaningless topics? Was it because Bowsette was a depraved pervert? Both were equally compelling options.

But as Bowsette took another look at her loving wife, enjoying her Yummy Meal now that Tayce T. was putting those out for her guests, she was reminded that she did not need to fret about this sort of thing. She was already emotionally and physically fulfilled by Peach, Wrecker of Hearts, the Grand Knight of the Toadstool Clan. Thinking about Mario in that regard was never going to lead to anything, because Bowsette simply didn’t care.

She took Peach’s free hand from under the table and held it. Yep. This was the only life ever needed.


	78. Chapter 78: Trio

#  Chapter 78: Trio

Ah, that was nice enough. Never, EVER doing it again probably, but, it was nice.

Bowsette laid at the side of the best, with Peach in the middle and Mario at the other side, with the two on the outer edges pulling the covers towards each other because the other was obviously hogging them. 

This... wasn’t supposed to happen again. Especially not like this.

But... it did.

And... yeah.

“That was fun,” Peach said.

“Quite,” Mario said.

Bowsette was silent, and Peach turned her head to look at her.

“Eh, it was cool, I guess...”

“Bowsette...”

“Okay, I think this was really awkward and we shouldn’t have done it,” Bowsette said. “But the tension was there and obviously it was going to happen at some point, so, like, whatever.”

Peach giggled. “For such a strong woman you get flustered so easily.”

“I’m not flustered! I’m just... yeah, I’m flustered.”

“We already did it,” Mario said. “No take backs now.”

“I knoooooow, I just wonder if this will, ya know, impact our ability to be a team or whatever.”

“Oh, actually...” Mario began. “Luigi and I got called by Rosalina yesterday. We’re... going off an a galactic adventure.”

“What?! No way. Dude, we can’t defeat Morton Koopa without you!” Bowsette yelled.

“Shhh, keep it down, we’re pillow talking,” Peach said, before kissing Bowsette on the lips. “Seriously though, what the heck Mario?”

“It’s-a serious,” he said. “Tatanga has returned, and he is going to launch one of the moons of Saturn so it will collide with the Earth! That’s much bigger than a Dread Lord, right?”

“Uhh.... fair point,” Bowsette said. 

“Well, we’ll definitely miss you two,” Peach said. “Take care, though.”

Mario leaned over Peach and kissed her. “I’ll be fine.”

“Hey, don’t kiss my wife-- agh, sorry, I know, this is weird,” Bowsette said. “I’m so weirded out by this deal. I don’t want to do it again.”

“Well, we had to see how it would work,” Peach said. “You mentioned it like five times in the last two weeks.”

“Did not!”

“I mean, you didn’t suggest it, but you mentioned the fact it could happen way too often for it to be a coincidence. I thought this might... be more fun for you.”

“It was fun, it was fun! I’m just too much of the jealous type. Sorry...” Bowser made a pouty face, so Peach took her cheeks and stretched them. “Ow, I hate it when you do that.”

“You’re the silliest villain I’’ve ever met.”

“I’m just emotionally vulnerable, geez.”

The three of them laid in bed for a couple more minutes, cuddling as a unit, and Bowsette tried to warm up to the idea of all of this. It was... quite difficult. The fact that it was as enjoyable as it was did not prevent Bowsette from feeling like a complete jerk about it, and overriding that just temporarily was nearly impossible.

Still, she was glad Peach was open to stuff like this, and she was glad that she was able to help make Peach happy. That’s what really mattered. If they were going to spend the rest of their lives together, it wouldn’t be wise at all to start it off being a jerk about everything and dismissing it out of hand... even if Bowsette was very uncomfortable with it... Oaky actually no, Bowsette should have just said no. She was a total pushover though.

How in the heck was Bowsette going to handle a domestic home life with her, if the two of them actually made it through with the soon-arriving war? She’d never really had one her entire life, seeing as Clawdia left her before she had finally cemented peace within Dark Land, and Kylie Koopa was the furthest thing from a stable relationship one could have. It was going to be weird enough explaining to her kids that she was a woman, let alone that she had married Peach, who was no longer a Princess, or a King for that matter. Everything had changed so dramatically that it was pretty weird to think about!

In classic Bowsette fashion, she had overthought this to such a degree that it was no longer possible for her to figure out how she and Peach would actually fare in a normal, stable relationship without impending world destruction and such. Whatever. She was just going to hope for the best.

“Well, I’m ready again if you are,” Mario said. “How about you?”

“I’ll sit this one out,” Peach said. 

“Count me in,” said Bowsette. Despite her mental reservations, her libido had no shame in continuing this. She sat up and leaned over her wife to embrace Mario in a hug. “No kissing though. Not doing it.”

“Whatever you want, princess.”

“No, technically it’s Queen. Or Former Queen. I don’t know what my title is now. Just call me Lordess.”

“Not happening,” Mario said, leaping across the bed across Peach and to Bowsette’s side. He accidentally bumped into Peach though and made her growl.

So this was definitely a one-time deal, Bowsette decided. But she’d make it count while it lasted.


	79. 79: Interlude for a Ghost

#  Chapter 79: Interlude for a Ghost

King Boo didn’t love Luigi.

Luigi didn’t love him.

Even still... It was an interesting thing they had going with one another. Luigi had come down to the guest house to visit almost every day this week after training, and they had gotten to know each other a whole lot better in that time. They had done a whole lot together, but most of all they had had some good conversations.

“I just wish ghosts didn’t spook people so much,” Luigi had said.

“But... spooking is in our nature,” King Boo said. “It’s what we do! Yuck yuck yuck.”

Today, though, King Boo felt like mixing things up. Yes, the Toadstools had promised of King Boo that he would receive a Super Crown for his service in the battle against Morton Koopa, after the battle was done and everything returned to normal.

But...

But.

King Boo was a crafty little bastard. Using the extremely well-known fact that Boos can phase through walls, He just... kinda... entered the Royal Treasury and took one for himself.

So once Luigi arrived after training and entered King Boo’s quarters, King Boo had a lot to laugh about. 

“Well, this’ll be the last time we can, uh, meet up before I go to space,” Luigi said.

“Gotta make it count, then,” said King Boo with a wink.

“So, uh, today, I thought we might play... a board game!” Luigi said. “It’s called Card Party. You use tokens to move around a board, but the board is made up of a bunch of random cards, so you never know what the layout will be. And you pick up stars and gain coins and stuff, but it’s really fast paced and... Uh, King Boo, are you... listening?”

“I’m sorry, Luigi,” King Boo said. “I have something better in mind for today.”

“...Again?”

“No, something new. Look at... THIS!” King Boo held up the Super Crown, glittering around in the palm of his translucent hand. 

“A S-s-s-super Crown?! Where did you get that?”

“Stole it.”

“Oh, King Boo...”

“Hey, I was gonna get one anyway, yuck yuck yuck yuck! I just want to try it on and see... if it’s a good fit!”

“You mean like... with Bowsette?”

“Ha, no! I mean I just wanna look sexy is all!”

Luigi didn’t rebuke that curiosity. 

“Well, here it goes,” King Boo said. He flicked his current crown away and it disappeared in a poof. He placed the Super Crown atop it, and there was a glowing light. Boo’s body shifted, gained material form, and then.... Kaboom.

Princess Booette was born. 

She was a ghastly mix of black and white, He eyes were bright red irises surrounded by pitch-black sclera, and her tongue was still so long it stuck out of her mouth. Her hair, white and thing, went down all the way to her waist. And while her figure was daintier than she was hoping considering Bowsette’s extremely nice figures, she appreciated the long sleeves of her dress going so far down they covered up her hands from view. 

Luigi was frozen solid by this transformation. Practically a ghost already.

“Huh, I’m a girl now,” said Princess Booette. “Well, I guess that solves all the qualms we’ve had about... certain issues, huh?”

“But... King Boo, you’re not... ACTUALLY a girl... right?”

“Rude!” Booette chided. “You might be right. Or maye... It’s a bit easier than it seems. Maybe when I’m like this, I’m... a happy go lucky little princess...” She gave a lick to Luigi’s cheek that gave a shock to his system. “...And maybe when I’m like this--” She pulled off the Super Crown and transformed back into King Boo. “--I’m the the King I always was. I can be either or, whatever I feel like. Kinda convenient, isn’t it?”

“Well, uh, what do you feel like now?” Luigi asked.

“Whatever you want me to feel like.” King Boo licked Luigi again. 

As Princess Booette reemerged, Luigi muttered, “I can’t believe I’m in love with a ghost.”

It wasn’t true, though. This wasn’t love. It was just a good time. That’s what she told herself, at least.


	80. Chapter 80: The Arrival of Nabbit the Wanderer

#  Chapter 80: The Arrival of Nabbit the Wanderer

It was today that Bowsette and Peach would finally learn about the true fate of their ill-advised mission to Nabbit. When they first asked him for help, they really did think that he would bring a few contacts to them. But instead, he apparently ran around the globe doing a very poor job convincing anyone of anything, and had only reported in to the Toadstools twice. In a year. TWICE.

The two of them waited at the front entrance to the castle grounds, and Bowsette wondered whether, if she had tried just a little bit harder, maybe she could have gotten a better person to help them than Nabbit. He was just the first person that came to mind that was listed in her Bowser Phone, and while he was fast, he certainly wasn’t thorough.

That was... okay? If he... actually got anyone worth having? It was a complete crapshoot.

And then suddenly, in a zip of speed and motion blur, Nabbit appeared before them.

“At your service, here’s Nabbit. Bagged it, Grabbed it, Nabbed it, just like you said,” Nabbit said.

“Uhhhh.... Hello,” said Bowsette. “Thanks for, uh, contacting us this time?”

“My pleasure. Got lots of loot. Stole lots of stuff. Real happy about it all. You’re welcome. Glad to do it again. Not free of charge. Ain’t that kind of guy. Gotta feed the wife and kids you know?”

“So, where’s the...”

“I got here first. Lots of people coming, don’t worry. I’m just early. Too fast. Gotta go fast though. Early Parakoopa catches the worm. I’m a rabbit though. I don’t eat other animals. Just junk food. And coffee’s good too. Got to admit I imbibe alcohol every now and then. It’s good stuff when you’re tired. Peps you up. Makes you--”

“So when are they actually coming?”

“Couple hours.”

They waited a few MORE hours, the suspense utterly killing Bowsette as she began to fret if they weren’t about to receive the absolute best Generals of all time and they were going to completely die off from it all.

But... sure enough, the Generals came.

The first was Flutter, a flying Wiggler who ran a dojo somewhere up north with a huge variety of students under her command.

“Hello,” Flutter said. “I am pleased to meet you. Your companion here told me a lot about you two. I may not have much in the way of resources, but my students and I are strong fighting companions. If you will allow us, we will be able to help turn the tide of battle against those who wish for the world to be buried in darkness.”

“Thank you so much,” said Peach. “We-- uh, who’s that?”

There was a shiny, metallic person in the back of the group of students, whose figure very closely resembled Peach herself. Hey, now. Bowsette was the only Peach lookalike allowed around here!

“That is one of my newer pupils, Pink Gold Peach,” Flutter said. “Her origins are a mystery, and she has long since taken a vow of silence. She is however a very skilled warrior in hand-to-hand combat.”

“I... uh, okay then,” Peach said.

Afterwards, the second general arrived: Dr. Crygor, mad scientist from Diamond City way over on the other side of the continent. He was alone except for one short teenage girl who walked next to him.

“I am the industrious, inventive, revolutionary Dr. Crygor!” he announced as if he was giving a Toad Talk. “Pleased to make your acquaintances, my two fine princesses.”

“Actually, neither of us are princesses, at least not anymore,” said Bowsette. Peach glared at her for being simply unable to let people make the mistake without constantly correcting them on it. “I mean, hello, Dr. Crygor. Your work is famous around the world.”

“What about mine?” the girl asked with perky enthusiasm.

Bowsette and Peach stared at Dr. Crygor, not able to ask who she was without spoiling the fact that she was a complete unknown and probably making her bawl her eyes out. In the end, they simply ignored her question and pretended they didn’t hear her.

“So we’ve heard you two were coming with... um, other forces,” Peach said. “Was that... accurate information?”

“Just answer that question for... YOURSELF!” Dr. Crygor pressed a button on his remote, and within seconds, the castle grounds were stormed by literally hundreds of metallic soldiers, most of whom looked like... recreations of the Smithy Gang forces?

Bowsette glared at him. “Did you steal Smithy-era technology?”

“I make no mention of things that could betray trade secrets,” he said. “Just know that I have a fully-robotic force at your command. Stopping Morton is of the highest priority for the safety of the world, and the well-being of the future generations that inhabit this Earth, like my dear granddaughter here.” He put his hands on her shoulders, and she gave a grin. But they still didn’t know her name....

Well, that was a lot more forces than Bowsette was expecting. That was quite a few Generals, too. Flutter, Crygor, Peach, Whomp King, King Boo, and with any luck Iggy as well... that was six. 

Six wasn’t quite enough, but they would have to make do, if that was it.

“Is that everyone?” Bowsette asked Nabbit by the end of this. He had been scurrying around the castle and the castle grounds all day almost nonstop, but he had finally ended up back where the two Toadstools stood in wait. 

“No, what are you talking about? I got everyone I could. Two people? That’d be bad. No, I got more than two. Way more than two. I got three. Three people. That’s pretty good. Right?”

“Yeah... Then... Who is it? It’s already sunset.”

“Guess who,” a voice said.

Bowsette turned and saw Boom Boom, along with his girlfriend Pom Pom and a whole battalion of assorted Koopas.

“Boom Boom!” Bowsette cried out, jumping into his arms and letting him spin her around like a child. “You came back.”

“Yeah... Boom Boom listened to your comments about how he always gives up halfway through and runs away. You were right. Even when we defeated Morton the first time, and Boom Boom was a trusted to-ranked lieutenant, he still ran away after the main battle began. He regrets it so much. And he won’t make the same mistake again.”

“These guys are all volunteers from the border near Dark Land,” Pom Pom said. “They have been getting attacked a lot more often lately, so they have decided to come help in your efforts.”

“Well... it’s really appreciated. Thank you.”

Seven Generals.

They actually had seven Generals now.

Were... they actually prepared for this battle? Not yet, certainly, but... they were close. And that was crazy.

Nabbit saluted and bowed at once. “Welp guess my work is done. Back to nabbing. Back to running around. Back to doing what I do. Going fast. Not slow. Doing cool.”

He ran off.


	81. Chapter 81: Adept

#  Chapter 81: Adept

Peach whacked her frying pan forward, sending a gust of wind towards Bowsette. She leapt away from it, but that left a great opening.

With that in mind, Peach stuck her hand forward and a piece of earth crumbled up from the ground and a rock shot into Bowsette’s stomach, knocking the wind out of her. She fell to the ground and clutched herself.

“Holy crap,” she said. “You beat me.”

“First time for everything,” Peach said.

“That’s what you said the last three times.”

“First time for my fourth victory over you,” she corrected.

Bowsette didn’t seem too pleased by her comments. She WAS a bit of a sore loser, even in a practice sparring match. 

But she was also wearing one of the brightest smiles Peach had ever seen on her beautiful face. So it was a bit of a mix of frustration and happiness.

“I love you so, so much,” Bowsette said. “Have I ever told you that before?”

“Practically every day.”

“And the fact that we’ve trained you from start to adept in just a couple months is like... holy crap. Even with Mario and Luigi gone on their stupid planetary adventure, our group has been pretty awesome, hasn’t it? You literally have a crack team of ninja swordsmen Toads now.”

“Not literally. They’re literally Knights of the Toadstool, an honorable guild of noble adventurers. They’re only FIGURATIVELY a crack team of ninja swordsmen Toads... and Koopas and other races.”

“Yeah, can’t forget Koopie Koo and Lakilulu. They’re friggin’ warriors by now,” Bowsette said. 

“I’m just.. glad that we’re getting closer to a real battle. I want all of this to be over with. I want to figure out where my life goes after this, and I’ve really been thinking--”

A Wiggler frantically ran through the woods and arrived in the castle grounds in front of the two women, red either from exhaustion or from being stomped on at some point. 

“M...Message...!” it shouted. “Message for Lordess Bowsette...”

“You have a letter?”

“No... No time...” it panted. “Morton Koopa is ready to begin... his ceremonies! I ran as fast as I could. The Conqueror assigned me to give this message to you. If you have an army, please, take... it...” The Wiggler promptly collapsed and passed out.

“Well, shit,” both of them said in unison.


	82. Chapter 82: No Time for Heroic Speeches

#  Chapter 82: No Time for Heroic Speeches

Bowsette stood in front of every single soldier, knight, warrior, captain, ghost, and participant ready to help them attack Morton Koopa. There were hundreds, all separated into their individual groups. Toads, Koopas, Boos, Whomps, a few Yoshis, a few Birdos... the Bone Dragon and its three heads poked out of a hole, but it was hardly sentient enough to be paying any attention here. Not a huge force... but one that was going to have to fight regardless of the circumstances.

Behind her stood Peach, but other than her, she was looking at literally every single living combatant they had at their disposal. Dr. Crygor’s robots weren’t here, but those would likely be a minimal presence in the battle at large, as long as Morton’s defenses were adequate. So this was the full scope of their battle. Everything they had.

Bowsette gulped. 

And then she spoke.

“Our preparations may not be complete,” she began. “Our training may not be finished. We may be understaffed, underpowered, under... uh, okay, we’re not well-off. Sorry if I’m not ready with some big heroic speech like Peach may have made. I’m not good at this stuff.” There were some murmured chuckles throughout the crowd.

“But yeah, the circumstances are dire, I know. Too bad, huh? We have to go anyway, because Morton Koopa is preparing to bring back a Dread Lord and destroy the Earth as we know it. We’re setting off first thing in the morning. No exceptions. And none of you are allowed to leave. That wasn’t very inspiring, was it...”

Peach pushed Bowsette out of the way and continued the speech. “We know you are all unprepared for what’s to come, but that isn’t to say we don’t believe in you, because we most certainly do. When Bowsette first defeated Morton Koopa, she had five years to prepare, and even then her forces were still not ready for the horrors of war. It doesn’t matter how LONG you train. It matters how WELL you train. And all of us, myself included, have trained very, very well.”

At this, the Toad Knights all bowed in unison, a show of support.

“So whatever you want to take with you, pack your things. We’re headed to Dark Land, and many of us may not come back,” Peach continued. “But I know we’re ready. This is what we have been preparing for all this time, and no matter how we feel, we should not trust our minds. Only our hearts, and the part of our hearts that have given us the determination, the drive to reach this point.

“Are you with me?”

The entire army went up in cheers.

Bowsette felt something come over her. All that time ago, back when she was Bowser trying to plan an invasion of the Mushroom Kingdom, when she felt hapless and alone and betrayed by her own people for trying to deceive her... those cheers were much louder, much more boisterous. 

But the cheers here filled a flame within her heart. Not the literal flame that was already in her heart at all times, but a figurative flame that would drive her to succeed in this. The world depended on it.

So.. time to pack their things.


	83. Chapter 83: One Last Night

#  Chapter 83: One Last Night

Bowsette was viewing the Royal Treasury closely, viewing all the armor, all the weapons, all the power-ups she could take with her on this final journey.

She had gone so long without a real weapon that she immediately picked up the first Chomp Shell mace she could find. This baby helped her defeat Smithy. Now, she was going to be fighting alongside a weird robotic version of Smithy and using the same weapon.

Of course, she also had the Axe at her disposal, but she would not be using that until the final assault. Not if she could help it, not if she couldn’t help it.

She took a few of the Power Stars and pocketed them; even if they had to abandon all hope and run away, at least those would give some bursts of invincibility. And then of course she used some magic and imbued her Chomp Shell with the magic from not one of the Stars, but actually from one of the Ztars. 

See, in all this time, she had finally figured out what Ztars actually were. While Stars were radiant, glowing sources of energy, almost like a magical battery of sorts, Ztars were like a battery being charged. They sucked in energy and put it into a stored stated that was completely inaccessible She didn’t know enough about magic or science to confirm, but it appeared to her that the life cycle of a Power Star actually began here, with the Ztar. Ztars were the beginning, and once they absorbed enough energy, they were finished charging and turned into Stars. 

Imbuing this kind of power into her Chomp Shell would prove very useful for one very obvious reason: it would allow her to literally sap the energy away from her opponents. But if her theory on how Ztars worked was right, then once she defeated enough enemies with ehr weapon, she would actually be able to turn the Chomp Shell into one massive Power Star that could defeat anyone around her. 

And that was the kind of power they needed if they really wanted to defeat the Koopa Troop.

She continued looking over the power-ups she could take. Unlike her assault on the Mushroom Kingdom, she wasn’t concerned with being crafty or clever, and she wasn’t limited to whatever knicknacks she had lying around the house. This was a serious arsenal of every possible item, and she had to choose wisely... or else.

Finally, she reached the point of the armory that contained all the leftover Super Crowns. There were about twenty of them, all exactly the same. It was... a bit weird to see them, actually. Her entire life as it currently existed revolved around her ability to wear one of these and to do it permanently. Should she... bring more? It seemed stupid that, were her power-up to be disabled mid-battle, she would simply put another one on and replace it. But she actually had a bit of concern. All the new powers she had unlocked in herself-- generating fire in her body, being able to use wings, shooting tail spikes... could she even DO any of that if she was in her lizard body? She hadn’t even thought to try. Since the night she first made love with Peach, she hadn’t removed the crown, not even for a moment. And she had no plans to do so.

In the end, she decided against taking one. It would only put her under more pressure to be holding an item as valuable as this on her and not put it to use. If any enemy were able to get their hands on it, then... well, it could be bad. Or... not? She had no idea the true power of this thing. After all--

Her vision was suddenly blocked by a couple of hands over her eyes.

“Brooding again?” Peach asked.

“There aren’t many Super Crowns left, are there?” Bowsette asked.

“Just these. I have no idea how they are made; whoever made them must have died or retired or disappeared long ago, because I’ve never seen anything like them before or since. Just these crowns made to make people look like me.”

“It’s such a powerful magic, and yet...”

“Such a limited purpose, right?” Peach went over to a Super Crown. She picked it up and placed it on her head. Nothing happened. “I was almost hoping for something here.” She laughed.

“I just wish my body was permanent,” Bowsette said. “Relying on a power up is... well, you know how I feel about it.”

“You talk about it endlessly.”

“It IS my entire life, Peach.”

“We’ll figure things out. Somehow. After the war.” Peach put a finger to her mouth in consideration of something. “Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, actually,” she said.

“About what?” Bowsette asked.

“I’m pregnant,” said Peach. “It’s yours.”

“WHAT?! Are you serious? How?!”

“No, I’m not serious, silly!” Peach bopped her on the head. “But, if I was, what would you do?”

“Forbid you from fighting and lock you in our bedroom.”

“See, that’s what the test was. And you failed, Bowsette.” Another bop on the head. “That’s how you lose wars. You didn’t do that with Clawdia, did you?”

“Well, no, but... she was...”

“A Koopa with incredible combat abilities, I know. But I’ve been trained and I’m ready. You can’t protect me because I don’t want to be protected. That was the lesson here.”

“I’m not entirely sure what I learned here...”

“Also, it was an excuse for me to ask you how many kids we should have,” Peach added.

“Well, I already have eight...”

“How about two? One from each of us?”

“W-w-w-w-wait, can I even... have babies? Does that even... work?!”

“We’ll have to find out.” Peach winked. “I’m sure it does. You have periods just like the rest of us.”

“Yeah... Well, I’m also not even sure if you and I could... you know... be compatible in that way. Genetics and all.”

“Magic is the answer there,” Peach said. “Magic is always the answer.”

“True... Well then, I agree with you. Two kids each.”

“Each?”

“So then we’ll have a full set of twelve. A dirty dozen. You like that?”

“Yeah. Deal,” Peach said. Her pleasant expression faded somewhat, though. “There is something else though that might impact this plan. After the war, I’m starting to... think of how I’d like my life to go. And, I love you and I love that we’re married, but I feel like--”

“Yuck yuck yuck yuck!”

A being phased through the wall and stuck out a large tongue at the two of them.

Was that... King Boo in a Super Crown?

“Hey you two lovebirds. The Armory ain’t a place for making out, ya know,” the mystery floating woman said.

“And you are...?”

“Call me Booette,” she said. “When I’m wearing the Super Crown, that’s what I’d like to be called. And this thing...” She floated using the Super Crown’s Peach powers, hovering back and forth in a smooth line. “...is marvelous! I understand why you’d want to keep it on you so much.”

“I thought you were going to wait until AFTER the fighting to get the crown,” Bowsette said. “You know, like you promised?”

“Promises are made to be broken!” She made an attempt to lick Bowsette, but she side-stepped away. 

“Are you going to.. fight like this?” Peach asked.

Booette shrugged. “We’ll see. I think I’ll switch back and forth.”

Bowsette pulled her close. “If you break the crown I will beat you up until you cry,” she said.

“Yuck yuck yuck yuck... I’ll do my best.”

Booette floated away, phasing through a wall and disappearing again.

“That giant jerk,” Bowsette said.

“Well, let’s let King... Booette... do what she wants,” Peach said. “Who knows? It might help the battle.”

It wouldn’t.

Bowsette looked at Peach again. She realized that this could be the very last moment they spend together, if things went badly. The time they had spent together was not just special, not just magical-- it was everything she had ever known in her life, all wrapped up in this one experience.

Without hesitation, she seized her wife and kissed her on the lips.


	84. Chapter 84: March to Dark Land

#  Chapter 84: The March to Dark Land

The Grand Unity Army was the official name that the six present Great Generals had decided on, and that Lordess Bowsette, Ultra Commander of Unified Forces, Leader of a Thousand Souls, had accepted.

It was a group of countless species, groups from all over the planet Earth that had converged together with one singular set of goals in mind: protect the world from devastation, to unite all peoples within all nations. To pronounce the goods of truth and love, and to extend their reach to the stars above.

And at this moment, they marched westward out of what was once the Mushroom Kingdom, through the wilderness and small states in the buffer before they entered Dark World itself.

Whomp King’s Fortress floated above as they marched through. Simply floating on there would have been a more effective strategy... if they wanted to be destroyed all at once. In fact, this time, the fortress was nothing more than a decoy. With no airship armada to back them up, the fortress was all they had to protect them against an all-out aerial assault. And Whomp King, Brighton bless his soul, was going to make a grand final stand in this endeavor, even if it cost him his life. It was his idea.

A few tanks and other machine vehicles strolled alongside the main force, along with the robots that accompanied them. They were part of Dr. Crygor’s reanimated Smithy Gang bots, brought back to life through means unknown and compelled to fight with the Grand Unity Army as the frontline cannon fodder. Surely all of them would be destroyed, but they would serve the purpose of tiring their enemy out before the real warriors attacked.

Dr. Crygor himself was outfitted with a mechanical body of his own design that stood ten feet tall and had really large fists. His granddaughter, whose name Bowsette STILL never quite caught, was sitting and reading a lewd romance novel on a slow-moving hovering chair. That was going to be utterly useless in combat, that was for sure.

Bowsette looked over to the other side of the main force marching, where King Boo and his legion of ghosts floated around, creepy smiles on all their faces. If that King Boo messed around in this fight, especially with the Super Crown, she was going to be furious. But... he was a veteran of the first revolution. He already knew how this went and she mostly trusted him to do the right thing.

Who Bowsette knew almost nothing about was Flutter. She was a dojo master and led about fifty students, making up nearly thirty-five different species of all shapes and sizes. She seemed calm and collected, but was she really ready to wage a war? She... certainly hoped so.

And then there was Boom Boom, walking alongside Pom Pom and their many Koopa acolytes. She was glad he came back, and even more glad that he seemed to have patched things up with his girlfriend. Being able to count on your best bud was... really heartening. It was one of the biggest confidence boosters out there.

Of course, then there was Peach. Out of everyone here, she had worked the very hardest to be here. She didn’t think she was ready to fight in a full-fledged war. She wasn’t. But after all that time spent working and training and practicing, she was just as much a General as anyone else. And totally had really good abs now, which was a huge plus for Bowsette.

Peach’s personal army, the Knights of the Toadstool, had also been training for these months and were ready for real combat for the first time. They were the most serious of the bunch, having never been tested in a real life-and-death situation while most everyone else had been in numerous battles. Each of the knight carried a sword, as well as a Hammer Suit to gain Hammer Bros. powers if they desperately needed an out during the battles. It was... their main surplus power-up in the armory was why.

When they reached Dark Land, they would soon converge with the final remnant of their forces, led by the Koopalings and Bowsette’s son Iggy. Information about that army’s size and strength was completely unknown but Bowsette trusted that they would be powerful and steadfast. They were being led by royals, after all

Bowsette herself was tense but braced for the oncoming battle. Her biological father was going to be utterly destroyed, and she wouldn’t stop even if she were killed in the process. She would simply get up and keep going. It was that important that they stop Morton from resurrecting a Dread Lord. All she had on her were a few Power Stars, her weapon, and the power to summon the Bone Dragon if need be. She decided to take nothing else with her, to clear her mind for the battle ahead. Besides, her powers had already far exceeded any simple power-up.

If fighting and liberating and conquering Dark Land had previously been the most important moment in Bowsette Toadstool’s life, this had usurped it in position by now. Her entire life had been leading up to this point.

And with the Grand Unity Army and her generals to help her, she was determined to see this through.


	85. Chapter 85: Dark Land Battle - Crygor

#  Chapter 85: Dark Land Battle (Dr. Crygor)

He had fought in the Kremean War that had engulfed the continent a long while back, and as a captain he commanded many soldiers and led them to their deaths. He also lost his eyesight that way. Then he became a scientist and gave himself his eyes back.

That was Dr. Crygor’s entire backstory. He was a hundred years old, but this was essentially the only relevant bit of information about him.

All he wanted to know from this battle was... were his robotic soldiers worth mass producing? Let’s see.

As soon as they entered Dark Land, the Koopa Troop attacked. Having a giant floating fortress over the army’s head was probably not the best way to have a sneak attack, but that was not his matter. 

A fleet of airships flew overhead and began assaulting the fortress, providing no cover to the ground forces below. Then it was time for Dr. Crygor to take advantage of that. 

With a few presses of his remotes. His machines came to life and began attacking the Goombas and Koopas and Cheep Cheeps and all sorts of enemies that laid in their path. He was very glad he installed the laser beam option in the tanks, because they were mowing down entire rows of Dry Bones, incinerating them completely!

There were a few large explosions from Bob-ombs that had been hit prematurely, and Floating Mines that the robots had stepped into. There were so many robots that it completely overwhelmed the opening army, forcing a retreat almost immediately.

“Amazing! Advance, advance!”” Crygor shouted.

Penny, still sitting in the hovering chair beside him, watched the battle with some interest, but a little befuddlement. “Why is there such a small army here?” she asked. “Seems like this is a trap or something.”

“Oh, what do you know about traps?” Crygor scoffed. “I fought in the Battle of Moleville Hill. That was the biggest trap I’ve ever seen. And you know what happened? We won! I lost my eyes, but we won!”

“Grandpa, focus on the battle.” She pointed ahead towards the huge Chain Chomps that had been unleashed and were currently tearing into the robotic forces. 

“Ah! I must call out our secret weapon--”

“No, never call out the secret weapon in the beginning,” Penny said. “It is unbecoming of a good scientist to waste her talents early.”

“Aww...”

Dr. Crygor let his hand off the SECRET WEAPON button and lowered his hand--

And accidentally pressed the button after his hand slipped.

“Oh, bother.”

Dropping from an orbital satellite position and crashing down onto the battlefield was none other than Smithy himself! Or rather, a reanimated robotic Smithy that followed every command given to him with perfect obedience. He stood tall, much taller than the Chain Chomps before him, and began bashing at them with his hammer. It was a battle of giants, and every crash sent the ground shaking.

It was a beautiful, horrible fight. Troops from both sides were being crushed by the conflict. Entire buildings were being blown up by stray debris of Chain Chomp chunks.

Wow.

“The arrogance of man,” said Dr. Crygor. “Is thinking nature is in our control and not the other way around. Let them fight.”

They continued fighting, all the way up until the Whomp Fortress exploded overhead.


	86. Chapter 86: Dark Land Battle - Whomp King

#  Chapter 86: Dark Land Battle (Whomp King)

This was it.

Whomp King wasn’t going to go out lightly. He was going to go out with a laugh. He felt like a captain going out with his ship, even if this floating fortress was much, much bigger than any ship. 

But there were no two ways about it: this fortress was going down. 

It pushed forward, as far forward as possible so it wouldn't end up crushing the ther Grand Unity Army forces. If anything, the goal should be to blow something up in a very spectacular fashion.

Oh boy, this was going to be a fun way to go out.

“Whomp King! Status report!” one of the Whomp technicians shouted over the radio. “Levitation Gem Core is damaged! We will lose full gravity-alteration power within the next thirty minutes, less if there’s another direct hit!”

“Abandon ship,” Whomp King said. “If you can board an airship and commandeer it, go for it. If not, you’re needed on the battlefield. You’ve all done good work today.”

“But sir--”

“That’s an order!” 

Whomp King took a swig of Penguin Proof. That was the good stuff. “Bar har harr... I love a good fight.”

He watched the battle below him as he tried to steer the fortress as fast as possible away from the main conflict. Up ahead there was a large castle, Chaos Castle if he recalled correctly. If he could push the fortress that far, that was where he was going to aim it for. 

Down there the robots were starting to thin out. That mad scientist had a brilliant plan, using android soldiers to buffer out the enemy’s front lines, but it wasn’t lasting as long as the man had predicted. Three days! Bah. Whomps couldn’t go three days at the front lines, and they were literally stone walls.

The fortress sped up, but it began to sink. The airships were still chasing it, still firing at it as if the Whomps on board weren’t already evacuating. It was a good way to distract them from engaging the ground, at least, but they were sure to catch on soon as they realized the fortress was doomed.

Some Whomps had launched themselves out of cannons, landed on the airships and whacked the Rocky Wrenches piloting them. In a few minutes, three of them had been taken. 

Whomp King was so proud of his boys. He poured the rest of his drink out to commemorate them. Those airships didn’t last long, one of them colliding with an enemy ship and bursting into flames, and the other two being brought down by the artillery cannons on the ground below. But they succeeded at what they did best, and that was crushing things until they stopped moving. 

And that’s what Whomp King was about to do.

Castle Chaos was in sight. It looked like the fortress could go another ten, maybe fifteen minutes and possibly make it towards one of the other armies standing in position off in the distance, but he wasn’t going to risk accidentally landing in the middle of an open field and wasting his one shot. So he shut off the Levitation Gem Core, pushed the motor, and let the fortress fall.

“YEAH BUDDY!”

The explosion was a beautiful as it was massive.


	87. Chapter 87: Dark Land Battle - Flutter

#  Chapter 87: Dark Land Battle (Flutter)

Six hundred years Flutter had been a teacher at her dojo. Six hundred years and many tens of thousands of students that had come and go over that time. 

She knew that the rest of the Grand Unity Army had looked at her with mistrust, even contempt for her small stature, both in army and in her own person. But Flutter paid them no mind. Before long, all of them would be gone, and Flutter would still be here. For the master of the martial arts was too the master of destiny.

She kicked a Goomba so hard it flew into the sky and landed onto another Goomba half a mile away, knocking them both out.

It was simple technique, really. Omne just had to master physics, and everything else would fall into place.

Her students understood that. The boy Cricket, with every jump he took, landed perfectly on the heads of his enemies. Pink Gold Peach used the weight of her body to slam into those around her, using the momentum of her crashes to eliminate the threats before her. The Duplighost Lee copied those around him and used their force against them, multiplying what was sent to him back tenfold.

They had made it to the frontlines, despite not being part of this useless line of mindless robots. Flutter’s students were elite. They were collected, and they knew how to bring balance to the world.

Morton Koopa was the antithesis of balance. Flutter had seen his rise and fall, and knew what it would mean to the world in its current state if he were to return, or if he were to introduce a new terror to the world.

He must be stopped, she knew.

And with her students, they would--

Flutter realized that there was a giant hammer coming down over her head--

Just before it smashed into her and all of her students.


	88. Chapter 88: Dark Land Battle - Boom Boom

#  Chapter 88: Dark Land Battle (Boom Boom)

“You idiot!” Bowsette shouted over the radio. “Your robot is destroying our own forces! Flutter is down! I repeat, Flutter is down!”

“I’m so sorry!” Dr. Crygor shouted. “Smithy must be confused! All of that artillery barrage is coming down and he’s getting disoriented. I’ll try to order him ar-- my remote is broken.”

“Dammit!!!”

Boom Boom, listening to this, realized that it was his army’s turn to strike. They had been advancing near the rear so far, but they were better utilized out there, even if it meant having to face a rampaging massive robot that was smashing his hammer at practically anything around him. 

He looked at Pom Pom. “Boom Boom knows what to do,” he said. 

She nodded. “Let’s go. Koopas! Behind us!”

The entire force of them jumped forward, and got in their shells as they did so. They slid forward, gliding along the battlefield and surfing past the fighting. Boom Boom steered his shell to avoid crashing into any bodies, even though a few of the Koopas couldn’t manage it and they lost a few of their forced before even engaging the enemy.

No matter. If they succeeded, they’d be well on their way in this battle. 

Boom Boom glided his shell right into the enemy lines, through a whole row of Goombas wearing spiked helmets who really didn't see it coming. As a few enemies started to pursue, he spun a bit in the shell and shot out fireballs in all directions. This would normally be dangerous what with his own allies nearby, but they were in such a Koopa Troop-dense area that every single fireball hit a different enemy.

There they were-- the artillery cannons. 

Boom Boom wasn’t going to let himself get scared and stop halfway anymore. He had a specific purpose in life, and he was going to life to see the end of it. With Pom Pom at his side, with Bowsette as his friend, Boom Boom knew nothing was going to go badly for the Grand Unity Army, nor for himself.

He and his shelled buddies crashed into the annons, knocking them down as they launched their Bullet Bills and sending those missiles careening in random directions or exploding in midair. 

However, one Bullet Bill, by sheer coincidence, spun around and hit the giant Smithy in the face, exploding and disabling the bot after enduring so much damage before. It collapsed on the ground and dropped its hammer on top of a bunch of nearby Koopa Troop soldiers. 

It was an unfortunate loss, but Boom Boom realized that they had routed this entire enemy force. The only stragglers left were giving up. They had finally defeated the first enemy army. HE had.

And now they could keep going.


	89. Chapter 89: Dark Land Battle - Iggy

#  Chapter 89: Dark Land Battle (Iggy)

The Conqueror’s forces had been decimated.

They had held out as long as they could, but nearly every single soldier of theirs had been destroyed. They were confined to a single fort, one that had only held together this long because the Koopa Troop army had suddenly broken off.

Lemmy laid on the floor, injured badly from the fight and barely conscious. Ludwig stood over him and tried to make him feel comfortable. For if they didn’t have a medic...

Wait.

The Conqueror looked through his binoculars out the window and saw... some sort of army advancing. It did not fly the Morton Koopa insignia on its flag. In fact, it had no flag at all.

As they got closer, he realized he distinctly recognized a few faces there. 

That was... Bowsette! The Lordess herself had returned! Oh, what a day! What a day!

Soon, the armies had merged, the Grand Unity Army as it was called, and the Conqueror’s dwindling soldiers, numbering only thirty-five... counting his brothers.

Bowsette took one look at him and ran up to him, crouching down and hugging him around the neck. This was a great relief, but... it was awfully familiar of her.

She then saw her brothers, each of them wounded in various areas, and most especially Lemmy, and embraced each of them as well. A medic quickly came and took Lemmy with them, but the rest were left to deal with their wounds on their own.

“Lordess Bowsette, sir,” the Conqueror said. “We are so glad you are here. Morton...”

“My boys... I’m so sorry it took so long. I’m... so sorry.” She burst into tears and held her hands against her face.

Her... boys?

Then, when another female approached and put her hand on Bowsette’s shoulder, it hit the Conqueror like a Bob-omb to the face.

That woman there was Princess Peach, dressed up in pink battle armor and her hair cut short. 

And Bowsette... her horns, her tail, her demeanor... It all made sense now.

“Wendy! Is that you?” he asked. “Are you Bowsette? Why are you working with Peach?”

“Wh... What?” Bowsette asked. “I-- wait. Koopalings, I... I need to explain to you something very important. This is a bad time, because we need to keep advancing as fast as possible.”

Bowser Jr. spoke up. “Are you my mama? Are you Papa’s wife?”

She shed a few tears and smiled. “Your father Bowser never left you. In fact, he’s... here. Bowser is... me. I’m... This is my body now. The way I want to present myself. And I know you may not be able to process this right now, but I want really much to be there for you as a moth-- as a parent. Because... Because... I love you!”

She broke down in tears. It... suddenly made perfect sense. Bowser hadn’t died. Bowser... had become Bowsette. She was so protective, so demanding because... that was her job as a mother. Wow. 

Each of the Koopalings here-- Morton Jr., Bowser Jr., Ludwig, and the Conqueror approached her and hugged her in a circle.

“We love you, Mama,” Bowser Jr. said.

“I love you too...”

Peach kneeled down and added to the hug, trying to comfort her. “And your wife loves you too...”

The Koopalings stopped in shock. “Wait, what?”


	90. Chapter 90: Dark Land Battle - Bowsette

Chapter 90: Dark Land Battle (Bowsette)

That was a bit of extra explaining to do, and she still had several more Koopalings to speak to about ti, but Bowsette was glad she was able to get that out of the way, even if it was during the highly inappropriate location of... the middle of a warzone.

The Grand Unity Army was able to go a while without any significant fighting thanks to Whomp King's gallant sacrifice and Dr. Crygor's temporarily-very-successful rout of the initial forces, but they had finally engaged another army just a short way before the castle.

It was almost entirely made up of Hammer Bros., which means they were starting to get serious about this.

Bowsette didn't want to waste any troops here, though, so she decided to jump in on her own here. Now it was her time to strike.

She flew in front of her army and landed right in the middle of the enemy force.

This was for not rebelling the moment some asshole skeleton started ordering you around! She raised her left hand into the air, and began circulating flames all around the area above her. Soon, a large sphere of fire formed, flickering in the heat of the sun. Once it was large enough, and the Hammer Bros. around her were scared enough, she slammed her fist to her side, letting the gigantic fireball crash down right on top of her... and utterly destroy the enemies around her.

The only ones remaining now were some Dark Fire Bros whose bodies also allowed them to stand the heat of the blast.

To that, Bowsette summoned her Chomp Shell and went to work with a scowl and a laugh.

"Kakakakakaka... Kakakakaka!"

She swung her weapon around in a speedy spin, the head of the Chomp colliding with the fiery Hammer Bros. and knocking them away, sometimes miles away. Their main weapons were fireballs, and clearly, obviously, that was not going to work on her. With each bash, the Ztar-infused weapon absorbed more and more strength. It was working. She couldn't tell how much it was working, but the weapon was exhibiting some sort of otherworldly dark glow, acting like an abyss and a shining star at once.

The rest of the enemies fled or surrendered within seconds.

Bowsette's determination in this moment was not a guise to cover up her depression. It wasn't a misguided attempt to correct her mistakes or make herself feel better. Nope. She fought because she just plain liked to fight.


	91. Chapter 91: Dark Land Battle - Peach

#  Chapter 91: Dark Land Battle (Peach)

The Grand Unity Army had just about reached the castle. That same castle that Peach herself had been kidnapped and held hostage in time and time again. It was just about a second home at this point, for all the time she spent there.

She honestly didn’t have that many ill feelings towards the castle itself. Towards the fact that she was imprisoned in dark, damp cells or narrow bedrooms with a window too small to see out of, the fact she was forced to undergo wedding preparations for weeks while in captivity here on not one, but THREE occasions before the Mario Bros. could save her? Now THAT was what she had ill feelings towards.

Of course, it turned out that she did end up marrying the very same woman who kept kidnapping her, making all of that silly. But she didn’t regret feeling the hate she did. She didn’t love Bowsette then, because Bowsette treated her badly and with little regard. Once she earned her respect, that was when their real relationship could finally start.

Peach and her Knights of the Toadstool had mostly been a side force to the action since they arrived in Dark Land, not because they were weak, but because the other armies of the seven Generals were just that strong. Well, the four Generals now that Whomp King and Flutter were gone, and Dr. Crygor had been kicked out for his stupid inventions malfunctioning. It wasn’t that big a force at this point, was it?

But they were almost here, and it was all going to work. A bunch of ravenous Piranha Plants emerged from the ground suddenly, but the Knight acted quickly and without mercy, slicing their stems off and disabling the creatures immediately. Any threat that came within any close distance to their Lady Peach was to be eviscerated with no hesitation.

One of the soldiers, Lakilulu, had equipped her Hammer Suit and floated up with her cloud to get a better vantage point. Now that the castle was upon them, there were several entrance points they could take.

Lakilulu tossed a few potshot hammers at some nearby Koopa Troop soldiers, and then came back down. “I’ve found an entrance that looks completely unguarded,” she said. “Follow me.”

“Right on girl,” said Koopie Koo.

Peach said over the radio,  “Hey Bowsette? We’ve found a way into the castle. Care to join us?”

“Just a sec, hun.” There was a loud sound of cracking against metal. “Just getting rid of some Chargin’ Chucks. Be right over.”

Within seconds, Peach saw her wife swoop into the sky, avoiding a few cannon balls and a wrench or two, and then landed on the ground in front of them and skidded to a stop just as she retracted her wings. She had really perfected that stylish landing entrance.

“Let’s do this,” Bowsette said.

Peach tightened her grip on her frying pan. They were about to enter the castle, and once they did, fighting Morton was going to become inevitable. She didn’t know what to expect, and her heart was plunged in fear.

But with one look at her wife, that disappeared. She felt okay.


	92. Chapter 92: Dark Land Battle - King Boo(ette)

#  Chapter 92: Dark Land Battle (King Boo(ette))

The Boo forces had long ago separated from the rest of the army, and were inflicting massive damage on enemies within the defensive towers at the top of Castle Koopa. The cannon operators simply did not know how to deal with a horde of ghosts phasing in and attacking them from inside their own enclosures.

King Boo thought this was too easy. 

Where was the REAL challenge, man?

Thud. Thud. Thud. 

Oh, boy.

At the roof of the castle stood one mustached man who King Boo knew ALL too well...

None other than King Bob-omb, the noble warrior.

“Give this up,” King Bob-omb said. “We don’t want to destroy you too badly.”

“Is that really the best taunting dialogue you could have come up with?” King Boo asked. “You’ve gone completely mundane. Where’s the old Bomby I once knew?”

“Do not call me that,” he said. “You do not deserve the right. Not for your treachery.”

“Dude. Bro. Guy. You’re literally fighting against your own Lordess Bowsette here and allied with our sworn enemy.”

“I am loyal not to the ruler, but to the throne itself,” King Bob-omb said. “That is the vow I made when we defeated Morton Koopa.”

“We made that vow BECAUSE of Morton Koopa you idiot!!!!”

“I don’t care. I’m going to kill you and everyone here.”

A hundred Bob-ombs emerged, each of them with lit fuses and charging at the Boo forces.

Unfortunately for them, the fact that the Boos can pass through solid objects and use their ghostly powers also meant they could simply pass through the bombs and put out the fuses. It was quite simple, really.

The worst possible match-up.

FAR too easy.

“Yuck yuck yuck yuck... You know what, Bomby? This is too easy of a fight. I’m going to make it more interesting.” King Boo put on the Super Crown--

\--and became Booette once more. Oh, man it felt good to be her right now. She was just ITCHING for some satisfaction. 

She leapt forward and latched onto King Bob-omb at his back.

“Get off! Get off!” he shouted. He couldn’t actually get her off because his arms were too nubby to do anything about it and she was holding on too well to get thrown off.

Booette responded by licking him up and down, causing electrical shocks that disabled him from moving entirely.

“Yuck yuck! How do you like that, Bomby?”

“You... what are you?”

“I’m just your neighborhood friendly Booette.”

“What does that even mean--”

Booette jumped off of King Bob-omb and then with one last lash of her tongue, pushed him off a ledge, where he went tumbling to his doom.

When he hit the ground, there was a massive and brilliant explosion.

Still, far too easy. Booette expected more.


	93. Chapter 93: Bad Father

#  Chapter 93: Bad Father

Bowsette and Peach and the Knights of the Toadstool had ran through seemingly endless hallways of this Brighton-forsaken castle. Bowsette had no CLUE why it was so big, let alone how she had lived here for decades and still had no idea where anything was. 

The Throne Room was clearly where Morton laid in wait. That one was obvious. But for now, she was merely looking for anything else in the castle that might prove useful. A laboratory or something.

“I could have sworn this floor had something useful...” she muttered.

“That’s what you said on the last floor,” Peach said. “We don’t have a lot of time, you know...”

There was one odd-looking door that suddenly triggered a memory for Bowsette; that was the door she had once gone in when they were trying to figure out what to do about Dry Bowser. Man, that was a long time ago. It was locked, but clearly that had no bearing on whether or not she was going to bust the door down; she would have done that if it were unlocked, too.

Okay, door busted. What was in this--

Laboratory... Kamek’s own... laboratory...

What didn’t surprise Bowsette was the fact this existed. Kamek had seven, maybe even eight personal facilities in the castle, and this was exactly what she was looking for anyway. 

What surprised her was the fact that inside some sort of testing tube, hooking up to various machines, was Kamek, very much alive and in very poor condition.

Bowsette bashed the machine until it stopped working, and broke the glass to the tube to retrieve him. He was barely conscious, but smiled as he looked up at her.

“Are you an... angel?” he asked.

“Dad, it’s me,” Bowsette said. “Your only... child.”

Kamek weakly smiled. His vision was nonexistent. “That’s not..--” Cough. “--true. I raised Clawdia for most of her teenage years, no?”

“Well, don’t try to make it all creepy all of a sudden...” she mumbled to herself. “Dad, I’m... I thought you were dead.”

“I certainly feel it...”

“What were they doing to you? Why were you in that machine?”

“They were extracting my magic... for their experiment. I... couldn’t stop them.”

“You mean Morton?” Bowsette asked.

“Morton and that... Mad Scienstein.”

So he wasn’t dead at all. He was in on it. Not that that really changed much.

“And they needed your magic for that?”

“Two years I was in that thing... You don’t understand, my... child...” Kamek was seriously injured after being absolutely sucked dry in his very soul. “I’m so sorry for bringing Morton back. I’m so sorry for not being there for you... I was such a bad father...” He passed out.

“Take him to a medic, you two,” Bowsette said to Koopie Koo and Lakilulu. They took Kamek and went off. “Now... is there anything else in here that might... well, you know, HELP us?”

“Hey! You guys! Back off the merchandise or else!”

Bowsette turned to see several Koopatrols, along with two figures holding Magikoopa wands pointed directly towards them. It was Roy and Larry.

“My... babies... My babies!”

The motherhood instinct inside her overrode any sense of self preservation and she flew over to them, hugging them both and tackling them to the ground simultaneously. At the same time, the Koopatrols took off running away.

When they both got back up she then slapped them both back to the ground. “Why are you dumbasses siding with the bad guy?” she asked.

Larry, smarter than he looked, made the connection immediately. “Pops? That you?”

“It’s Mom now! And I ain’t taking your shit about ambition or whatever. Your siblings were fighting to save this kingdom, and here you were siding with the enemy! Why?”

Roy sniffled. “Ludwig said... I could never be king...”

“You can’t,” Bowsette said. “After this stunt, you two and all your descendants for the rest of time are removed from the line of succession. Bam. Done. Gone.”

“Awwww....” they moaned simultaneously.

“Shoulda thought about it before you let friggin’ LEMMY get ahead of you.”

“You always preferred Bowser Jr. anyway...” Larry complained.

She ignored that remark and then hugged them both again. “All of your brothers are outside in the middle of the battle. Do you.. know where Wendy might be?”

They looked at each other with mournful expressions. “She got... cursed.”

“Take me there.”

They led the group to another room on a floor closer to the Throne Room, where dozens of statues of prominent dissident figures were on display, from General Guy to Tough Wiggler to some weird-looking Spiky Koopa. And then the big two: Bowsette’s grandmother Kammy and her daughter Wendy.

“Is there any way to fix this?” Peach asked.

“What’s Princess Peach doing here?” Roy asked.

“We got married, long story, already explained it to the non-traitor Koopalings. No time now.” She stared at the stone statues and thought deeply. Surely, with her magical prowess, and the Koopa-based magic of this curse...

Bowsette touched both of the statues with her hands and focused, pouring as much of herself into them as she could.

She felt a surge of energy, She felt her blood. Every bit of celestial blood in her veins vibrated and sparkled within her... and all that energy moved forward into her fingertips.

With one blast of magic, the curse was lifted. The two of them were revived... And then Bowsette fell to the ground, gasping for air.

That was NOT a good idea to do right before facing down the toughest enemy of her life. She was really going to regret that, she thought.

Just kidding. Because the two most important women in her life were back. Uh, besides Peach, kind of. She hugged them both, and Larry and Roy joined in.

Once again, she explained the Bowsette situation, and the Bowsette Toadstool situation, for what felt like the eightieth time in recent days. The two women were immediately understanding of it, even if Bowsette had no clue Kammy would be able to withstand such a big change in her life. She really underestimated her.

“So,” Kammy said. “You’ve truly graduated, Bowsette my dear. You have become a dragon witch, just like I always wanted. Kakakakaka...”

“Oh, Grandma.” Bowsette turned to Wendy. “I’m so proud of you for trying to do the right thing, even if it almost got you killed. You are a real hero, unlike these two jerks right here.”

“Geez...” Roy said.

“Oh, it was nothin’,” Wendy said. “Do I get to become Queen now?”

“We’ll talk about that later.” That was her way of avoiding the fact that right now Iggy was really looking like the one who could rule Dark Land in the future, which was an unexpected turn and actually really cool. Succession didn’t matter though until they defeated the current ruler.

“So if there’s nothing left in this castle to find,” Bowsette said. “We’re going to meet up with the other Koopalings. And we’re going to bash that stupid Morton’s skull in.”


	94. Chapter 94: Bash His Skull In

#  Chapter 94: Bash His Skull In

Now this was the moment everything had lead up to.

The group inside the castle had regrouped with the others in the Grand Unity Army, made sure that the battle outside was stable, and then a select group reentered the castle right into the front entrance... the Throne Room.

The eight Koopalings-- Iggy, Larry, Roy, Morton Jr., Bowser Jr., Wendy, Ludwig, and a newly-recovered Lemmy, went inside with their mother Bowsette, their stepmother Peach, and their great-grandmother Kammy hovering on a broomstick above. Peach’s Knights followed her in as well. But besides them, everyone else was still fighting outside. This was a family affair.

Peach was ready. She could feel Bowsette’s heat emanating from a foot away, she was burning so hot. And that was all she needed to keep going.

There sitting on the throne was the gargantuan beast of ash and bones, the undead Morton Koopa himself. She had seen him once before, back at the Crystal Palace, but in the heat of the moment she hadn’t been able to gauge just how massive he was. Even when Bowsette was in her Koopa form, she was still less than half the size of her biological father. That Axe that they had retrieved... it truly was made just for him, wasn’t it?

“I’ve been expecting you for so long, my dear daughter,” Morton said. “And you brought the whole family along. I’m so proud that you have finally been able to unite like this. Because you will all together be able to witness what I have discovered in my journey with the afterlife.”

“You’re never going to resurrect a Dread Lord,” Bowsette said. She pulled out her Chomp Shell weapon, which was glowing with a dark blackness.

“On the contrary,” he retorted. “You seem to presume much.”

“All I’m gonna presume is how we’re gonna kick your ass!”

Morton stood up, and his stature was even greater now that he was on his feet. He was a true monster. “I have no ass,” he said. “I am a pile of bones.”

“Koopalings, assemble!” Iggy shouted. All eight of them struck a pose together and then pulled out their Magikoopa wands. They summoned their Clown Cars and began flying around while shooting magic beams at Morton. 

Many of them collided, but none had any effect. Magic spells didn’t work on those with no soul, no blood, it seemed.

Morton roared, shaking the throne room. In one corner, a statue of Bowsette as a Koopa cracked and fell to the ground. Peach raised her frying pan and then jumped forward, along with the rest of her Knights. Without her dress, she thought she would have lost the ability to float, but it appeared that it was not the clothes that made the woman-- it was the woman whose innate magical abilities had gone pretty much untapped her whole life because she was a pampered rich girl. Geez, she could have been a wizard, if only she were born poor.

She went right for the head of the beast, the unsightly skull that made up his awful face, and bashed it in as many times as she could...

It...

Didn’t seem to be doing anything. Even her gusts of wind made absolutely no effect on him. In fact, he was putting all his notice on Bowsette, and Bowsette alone. To get rid of Peach, he just swatted his arm, knocking her and most of her Knights to the ground. 

One had managed to reach him and hack a sword right into him-- getting his weapon stuff in the bone, just in time for Morton to grab him and fling him out a window disappearing into the sky with a sparkling star.

Peach suddenly didn’t want to fight this guy anymore.

Bowsette, for what it was worth, was putting up a valiant effort. She attacked him with her Chomp Shell, launching it forward and reeling it in in rapid succession like it were some giant yo-yo. The attacks kept Morton from advancing forwards towards her and allowed the Koopalings to continue attacking, launching cannon balls and throwing small Mechakoopas on him.

None of it was working, though. With one ill-timed Chomp throw, Morton finally caught the weapon, pulled it out of her hands, and then tossed it back at her, smashing her in the head and knocking her twenty feet backwards.

“Bowsette!” Peach shouted.

She ran after her wife but was struck backwards by a giant bony hand smacking her away. 

It was funny. She didn’t even feel any pain as she flew into the air. It was almost peaceful seeing her vision stretch out around her like this... right until she hit the wall and the shockwave cracked the wall behind her.

A few months ago, that would have been the end of Peach Toadstool. She would hardly have been able to survive that kind of blow and end up in the hospital for the rest of her life. But... with her training in combat and magic... with her love... she wasn’t going down that easily. She leaned against her weapon and stumbled back onto her feet.

Peach growled, as fierce a roar as a mere human being could muster, and then held out both her hands to activate herself.

The earth shook beneath them, and the castle quaked. Even Morton was caught off-guard. And when Peach pulled down her hands with great force, collapsing the stone roof of the Throne Room upon him, he hadn’t even been able to figure out what was going on.

Morton was buried under the rubble. And that gave time for the others to recover, at least for---

ROOOOOOOAAAAAR. 

He was too strong. He had gotten up without appearing to have any damage on him whatsoever. His dead, red eyes were now fixated on Peach herself.

“You know, I liked your father,” Morton said, approaching her with a toothy snarl. The Knights charge him again, but he swatted them away without changing his gaze. “I installed him over his brothers because he was willing to work with me and concede any territories I needed. I bet he felt really desperate once I was gone, facing a new, unpredictable ruler, not like the one who the Toadstools had allied with for ten generations. And I bet that’s how the Mushroom Kingdom was plunged into this endless conflict with Dark Land. Because your feckless father had no clue how to operate without my malevolent direction to steer him.”

“Then it’s a good thing I’m not my father,” Peach said. She chucked her frying pan at Morton and it dinged him on the forehead. No reaction.  

“No, because your father would have known his place as the subservient to the dark ruler of the planet Earth. He wouldn’t have died in a fiery inferno from his opponent’s magical breath.”

With this, Morton opened his mouth wide, readying himself for a blast of flames that would incinerate Peach. She closed her eyes and held out her hands, as if she could stop against it with some sort of magic-- and then he stopped. 

The ground shook again, but it wasn’t Peach.

Morton turned around and saw Bowsette holding out one of her hands, glowing with fire and anger at once. 

“Get outta here,” Bowsette said.

And then out of the ground burst the Bone Dragon, Bowsette’s personal monstrous pet. Each of its three heads began attacking Morton, and had grabbed him away from Peach with their mouths. If he had had any meat on him, they surely would have made quick work of him.

Peach took this moment to get out of the action and limp to a place of safety. Those Knights that could still stand surrounded her and took guard over her. The Koopalings were mostly defeated by now, lying on the ground in various states of injury, but Iggy was still blasting the same useless magical wand attacks at his grandfather. It was all up to Bowsette and her monster now.

“Kakakakaka!” Bowsette laughed as she summon fireballs to her palms and chucked them in rapid succession. She now had the upper hand, and she wasn’t going to let--

Morton took hold of one of the Bone Dragon’s necks with his hands, squeezed it, and snapped it in half, chunks of calcium falling to the floor. The monster and its two remaining heads panicked, but it was only seconds before Morton swiped another head off with his claws. 

With one piledriver to its body, the entire Bone Dragon was obliterated. He sent a beam of fire at Bowsette and knocked her to the ground as well. 

“Kukukukuku,” Morton laughed. “Bowsette, my daughter... You don’t realize that you were never supposed to be here to win. From the very beginning, you were here to lose. Your destiny was to fall here.”

“I’m not listening to some dumb zombie,” she said as she tried to get back up again. He kicked her back down to prevent that.

“Now that you’re here, though... I can finally begin my ultimate plan,” he said. “I’ve been waiting years for this. Or, rather, my entire lifetime.”

“To bring back a Dread Lord from the dead just to end the world?”

“...What?”

“...Wha?”

“What are you talking about?” Morton asked. “I’m not bringing a Dread Lord back from the dead. I’m unlocking the Dread Lord inside of you.”


	95. Chapter 95: Dread Lord

#  Chapter 95: The Dread Lord

“Dread Lord... inside of... what?”

Bowsette wasn’t sure if she misheard him or what, because that made no sense.

“You can’t be that stupid,” Morton said. “Surely it crossed your mind that that ‘celestial blood’ inside of us is not as innocuous or noble as it seems. You and I, your children, our ancestors... we are all that’s left of the Dread Lords.”

This... really hadn’t crossed her mind whatsoever, not the entire time she had been King Koopa, not in the entire time she had been searching for a way to stop her father from resurrecting the malevolent dragons that had conquered the planet eons ago.

And it finally made complete sense. The Royal Koopas surely didn’t descend from some benevolent spacefaring dragons that graced their presence on Earth but only ever so briefly... they had come directly from the evil forces that were defeated and sealed away, the planet’s ultimate villains.

Bowsette was a bad guy because it was in her blood.

What a pathetic excuse...

At this moment, Bowsette summoned all the strength she had and got back to her feet. She took out the Axe that she had gotten from Clawdia Koopa, the Axe that might have had the residual energy of the Firestone Amulet inside of it. She jumped and swung it with all her strength...

...and Morton caught the weapon with his hands before the blade count touch him. He laughed. “Kukukukuku...”

“Argh!” Bowsette struggled to break free and lodge the weapon in his skull. She had to win. She HAD to...

But...

But.

Morton shook her off. The weapon was too big to keep a firm grip of, and Bowsette fell to the ground again, losing the last of her ability to fight back as her back hit the ground again. Morton now had his own Axe back in his grasp.

It was all over for them.

Not a single combatant was left standing in the Throne Room, as close as they had gotten. The armies outside could surely invade, but now that he had his Axe back... it was not going to be pretty.

“I was not lying when I said I needed you or Morton Jr. for these rituals,” the bony dragon told her. “You two, my son and daughter, are all I have left.” At this, Morton Jr., currently lying on the floor in pain, gave a confused expression and then began to mentally work out the implications of what he just said. “You have the highest concentration of royal blood running through your veins simply because you are from an older generation. Because there are no more Dread Lords left to mate with, it is simply a matter of math to know that I should attempt this experiment first on one of you. And you, Bowsette, are the perfect candidate.”

“Why is that?”

“You’ve already begun unlocking your true potential. Everything you’ve accomplished since you gained your human form makes me realize... this is going to work. We can bring back the creature inside of all royals... We can conquer the planet once more.”

At this, a giant machine emerged from underneath the throne itself. Bowsette really wished the Bone Dragon had destroyed that when it was emerging from underground and attacking everything.

“Using the remains of your Bone Dragon, this machine, and the magic within you, I will be able to transform you into a Dread Lord,” Morton said. “And you will revert to your basal instincts, rampaging around the planet and preparing to drill into the core of the planet to brood for your next offspring. After millions die in that effort, I will transform each of your children into Dread Lords as well. Eight dragons on one planet... it will be a beautiful sight, won’t it?”

Bowsette realized all of that talk about her children not having any significant powers because Bowsette had “married commoners” was yet another ruse to throw her off the real secrets behind everything. And that Bowsette’s siblings who had all apparently died in combat fighting against each other and against Morton himself... were probably the first round of failed experiments.

Why in Brighton’s name did Merlon not tell her all of this when he first captured her over two years ago? That guy really was the worst person of all time.

The machine began to whir, and an aura of magical energy formed around it. This must have been what Kamek had been tortured and magically drained for; a weapon of pure transformational energy. The aura soon compressed until it was just a tiny ball of bright light.

“I wanted nothing more than to transform myself into a Dread Lord,” Morton admitted. “After everything, though, I am simply glad to bring back our family’s honor. We are not Koopas. We are monsters. And that’s what this is all about. The honor of monstrosity.”

The ball expanded and a beam of magic shot out and hit Bowsette.

Her pupils contracted and the Super Crown above her head shattered into a million pieces. She hadn’t even begun to transform back into a Koopa before the world began to shift around her... and inside her.

There was a surge of electricity in her veins.

And then everything went white.


	96. Chapter 96: Celestial

#  Chapter 96: Celestial

Long ago, out from the stars, dragons arrived on Earth. They made it their temporary home, charting its lands, observing its people, and become familiar with one species in particular-- the Koopa. A union of love, or of passion, or even of mere curiosity, it resulted in the most powerful race the Earth had ever seen-- the Royal Koopa. Even after the celestial dragons had left the planet, off to explore the next uncharted world on their endless path through infinite space, their descendants remained, conquering the lands and serving to advance the world in its growth in technology, science, magic, and culture.

That was the story Bowsette had been told all her life. That was the story she was sure most of her ancestors had been told all their lives.

But no, they were sorely mistaken about their origins. 

In reality, long ago, from eggs burrowed deep in the core of the Earth burst forth massive, hulking monstrosities known as the Dread Lords. They had no destination, no motivation, no goal except consumption and destruction. Like a deadly virus they rampaged across the Earth, obliterating what they could and terrorizing what they couldn’t. The species that had made their home here tried to fight back, but their technology, their magic too primitive, their wills too weak. Caught up in this madness, a Dread Lord must have mated with a Koopa and somehow this unholy union formed a disgusting half-breed offspring. The Dread Lords themselves were killed and sealed away by forces unknown to this day in some fateful battle whose name and details have been lost to time, but this half-breed and its descendants lived on, escaping the turmoil of destruction for long enough that their progenitors had faded into memory. And then when the time was right, they became monsters in their own rights.

Bowsette was just the second-weakest generation of these Dread Lord half-breeds. Every time a Royal Koopa mated with a Koopa, it cut the amount of remaining ‘celestial blood’ for any offspring in half. and with no Dread Lords left, that meant that it was inevitable that they would eventually phase out of existence, their powers and abilities fizzling into nothing.

Until now.

She felt a massive rush of energy deep within her, touching every fiber of her being and stretching herself out. She felt herself growing even though she could see nothing. Her wings, before retractable and within her shell, were bursting forth into massive structures. They hit some sort of barrier, probably the remaining walls of the Throne Room, but the barriers crumbled against them.

Her claws stretched out many feet, and her snout grew forward with a hundred teeth sprouting to join it.

She was becoming a Dread Lord, losing the Koopa part of her identity and embracing the monster within.

This... this was the end for her, then. Bowsette as a person, as a wife, as a mother, was now gone. Bowsette was now a nameless beast destined to destroy the planet. She decided to accept this transformation with equanimity, her consciousness fading as the dragon took over and discarded that being. There was nothing she could do about it.

After all this work she had done to redeem herself, everything she had done to stop her past from destroying the present, it turned out that she was going to be the one who destroyed the present anyway. It was almost funny, or it would be if she had the capacity to laugh anymore. Instead she felt like she had sunken deep into the nothingness around her, losing any ability to sense or feel the body she was in control of just moments ago.

This was the end.

...

...

...No. Not it wasn’t. Bowsette wasn’t the same person she used to be. Giving up, letting herself be defeated and blaming it on the inevitability of failure was not what she did anymore. She had too much to live for, too much to protect to allow this to happen.

She wasn’t letting some shitty magic spell take over her entire body.

It WAS hers, after all. Nobody else was allowed to control it.

Even if her body became that of a dragon’s, she wasn’t just going to take this like some chump who gave up at the slightest inconvenience. She was stronger than that! She had hardly unlocked her true potential already, and she wasn’t letting that true potential just unlock inside of her without being able to control it for herself!

Even though she could see nothing around her, even though she was seemingly lost within her own mind, she reached out. She summoned forth all the rage, all the determination she could muster, and roared out.

“My name is Bowsette, and this is my life you’re dealing with, you dipshit dragon! Give me back myself!”

Suddenly, she could see again. She towered over the Throne Room she was previously in, standing about forty feet tall and currently breathing fire out into the sky. It hit one of the remaining airships and sent it crashing to the ground. 

No, this was stupid.

She took one look at herself and knew this was a body she would hate to be in. So... she was going back.

That was that.


	97. Chapter 97: That Was That

#  Chapter 97: That Was That

With all of Bowsette’s willpower, she tapped into her own blood, sensing every single vein, every pulse of her heart, and let it bubble inside of her. If Morton Koopa wanted to turn her into a dragon that would destroy the Earth, then she would do the exact inverse of that. She would become the dragon that would protect the Earth.

Bowsette shrunk down from a thirty-story mega-monster back down to the human shape she had once attained. Now she was just a miniature monster and looked phenomenally stupid like this. 

The Super Crown had shattered, but it had done so at precisely the right moment for that beam to hit. She could still feel its magic inside of her. It was like she could now shapeshift at will, or at least at this exact moment. She wasn't going to let herself live as something she hated, so... she transformed again.

She let her features shift around her, focusing not on one particular image of what she wanted to look like, but the feeling inside of her as her body warped and twisted. She wanted to feel warm, to feel like the woman she really was.

And it worked.

She was no longer able to attain a half-human form, but that didn’t matter. Because as she solidified herself, she became exactly what she felt like she was missing in all her life. Her tail, her shell, her wings, her honrs, they were all here at appropriate lengths. Her claws sharpened, and she felt scales hardening across her body. The flames in her veins coursed through every pore and steamed out of her body, sending up smoke around her.

This was it. A Koopa body, in the shape of a human’s. One she was satisfied with. One that felt right... felt natural. 

She was no longer a Koopa inside a human shell. She was no longer enhanced by a power-up. She was her own power-up. A hybrid of the two forms that made her the most powerful, the most proud she could ever be.

Bowsette smiled.

The entire scene around her was silent, as if these past few moments had been a complete shock to everyone here. It shouldn’t have been; Bowsette was too strong to let some stupid magic destroy her.

She pointed with a fierce finger towards the pile of bones known as Morton Koopa. “You got it all wrong,” she said. “You thought that my life, the lives of your family were yours to control. Just because we have the same blood does not mean we have the same lives. I am not your experimental subject. I am a woman and I am stronger than anything you can ever throw at me.”

“H...How? What did you...” Morton was completely at a loss for words to retort.

Without any further hesitation, Peach ran to Bowsette’s side and grabbed her hand. She really didn’t need to do that with how injured she was, but... it was highly appreciated.

“Morton Koopa, I am going to destroy you and take back the throne of Dark Land,” Bowsette said. “Any last words before you crumble into dust?”

“I... What?!”

“Guess not, then.” Bowsette lifted a hand and her Chomp Shell rose from the ground somewhere in the Throne Room and levitated into her hand. “It’s time to unleash the Glory of Bowsette.”


	98. Chapter 98: The Glory of Bowsette

#  Chapter 98: The Glory of Bowsette

Somehow, Bowsette’s transformation into her true self had reenergized the combatants around here. The koopalings, all eight of them, sprung to their feets. Peach and the Knights of the Toadstool hobbled back up and charged once again. Bowsette extended wings from inside her shell and took off into the air, igniting her entire body in fire. She collided with Morton and knocked him onto the ground, the first moment of real damage to the man since the battle began.

Something inside of Bowsette had always been there... and now it was awake. Not at any point in her life until now had she realized what she truly was. Not the weakling descendant of ancient dragons, whether they were cosmonauts or terrorizers. Not some girl wearing a power-up suit. Not when she was waging a revolution, or when she was putting down Shisai’s rebellion, or when she was taking over the Mushroom Kingdom any number of times. The true power inside of her was... herself.

Because Bowsette was Bowsette. And that meant there were no limits to be had. Because any limits that she found, she would break. She always did.

Morton stopped his meandering and got into full fighting mode, getting into his shell and spinning around. It knocked into a wall and obliterated any remaining source that this ever used to be part of the castle. They were fully outside now.

And that was probably for the best, because now the entire Grand Unity Army was in the vicinity, with a clear shot at the sixteen-foot undead monster in the middle of the rubble and destruction.

And the entire army charged.

Boom Boom was the first one to enter the battle, spinning into a top and unleashing a flurry of fists at Morton’s feet. He swung his axe and hit the stone floor in a crack, but his weapon was too slow to hit him.

King Boo and his hundreds of ghosts swarmed the room and trapped him in some sort of barrier of ghostly magics. He couldn’t move outside this barrier, not until he swung his axe and evaporated a good thirty of them in one blow. 

Now infused with fury, he sent a blast of fire in all directions, turning his head in a full 360-degree spin and trying to kill as many people as possible.

Bowsette took this moment to extend her Chomp Shell chain and begin the final assault. 

Instead of bashing it against Morton which seemed to be as useless as normal, she decided to make further use of the Ztar-infused power within her weapon that absorbed the energy, magical or otherwise, out of anything it impacted with. Its dark-black glow was absolutely iridescent at this point and she realized that it was soon going to be ready for its special attack. So she smashed it right against the Axe in Morton’s hands. It hit the weapon and bounced backwards, nearly hitting Bowsette herself in the face as it swung towards her, and then hit the Axe on the other side. With each thud the Chomp Shell grew brighter, even if the Axe didn’t seem to be affected. There was some magic left in the thing after all, even if it didn’t look like it.

Morton noticed what was happening and flipped the Axe upside down, holding the steel hit forwards and jabbing it towards Bowsette. She swiped it away with her claws and then jumped on the hilt itself. This thing was only six inches in diameter and actually balancing on it was next to impossible, but Bowsette was done with thinking anything was impossible. She ran up the hilt of the Axe and reached the side closest to Morton himself, where the cutting edge of the Axe was facing the the ground right at his chest. 

She whipped it and struck the end of the handle; the axe head itself was disattached and felt to the ground, striking Morton in the foot and cutting off his toe claws.

Morton could not feel pain, clearly, but he felt very obvious rage at this. He dropped the remains of the axe and jumped backwards. With a piercing roar, he did something unexpected--

He grabbed Morton Jr. and held him up to him.

“Stop right there, all of you. I’m not giving up now,” Morton said.

“Mom! Help!” Morton Jr. shouted.

Boom Boom took the opportunity to attack while everyone else had halted, but Morton kicked him, launching him so far he flew past the curvature of the Earth.

“I’m going to finish a ritual one way or another, even if it ends up killing all of you. If I can’t have a Dread Lord, then at least I’ll bring myself back to life. And my dear son is the best way to make that happen.”

He clutched Morton tighter, and a new aura of magical energy burst forth, making Morton Jr. scream out in pain while everyone else stood by helplessly.

There was only one thing Bowsette thought to do. With no inclination as to how effective it might be or how stupid it might be, she marched over to Peach, grabbed her hand, and prayed.


	99. Chapter 99: The Power of the Royal Spirit

Chapter 99: The Power of the Royal Spirit

Morton was currently sucking the life out of Morton Jr. in some sick magical ritual. In just minutes, or even seconds, he would be fully revived as a Koopa, able to destroy the entire army before him in a moment's glance.

Bowsette knew she wouldn't be able to take the steps necessary to break through that magical force field, attack, and successfully pry Morton from her child before the ritual was complete. This man was too determined at this point, already having given up on his plan to turn all nine of them into Dread Lords to destroy the planet.

So instead she took her wife's hands, pressed her forehead against hers, and prayed out.

"If you can hear this, anyone, we need your help!" she shouted. "Star Spirits! Brighton! Twila! Oho! Anyone!"

Peach cried. "Bowsette..."

"We have to do this together. We have to try."

Bowsette took one hand from her wife and then both of them faced Morton himself.

A new magical aura started to form around them, one that counteracted Morton's. It was bright and pink and flickered with the intensity of true power. Soon their magic began engulfing his, and Morton's powers were altogether vanishing. He could no longer absorb the energy out of Morton Jr., and in moments his grip on the boy was released altogether. As a creature of pure magical being, he was frozen completely solid by the aura.

Bowsette stepped away from Peach, but the aura remained. She did so slowly, each step making an impacting thud against what was left of the Throne Room floor. She took out her Chomp Shell, which was almost fully powered-up and ready to launch. She found the head of the Axe and bashed it a few more times, shattering it into a thousand tiny metallic pieces. With this, the Chomp shell's black color disappeared, replaced by a bright yellow shimmer.

It had become a Power Star, just as all Ztars did after they absorbed enough positive energy.

Bowsette was one and the same with the Ztars. And that's why this was going to be her final blow.

She took one last look at Morton Koopa. The biological father who had abandoned her, killed or cursed her siblings, brought great ruin onto the continent. He was unable to move. Unable to utter any menacing last words. Unable to do anything but stare forward and accept his face. Bowsette smirked. Then smiled. Then cackled.

"Kakakakaka!"

She swung the Chomp Shell, bashing into Morton's frozen skeleton. The energy of the Power Star exploded into action, utterly obliterating Morton and sending his bones flying upwards. But the strike was so powerful, so forceful, that each one of them faded into dust as they were sent upwards, dissolving into atoms.

He was gone.

...

...

Holy geez.

The battle had died down completely. It was so quiet you could hear the coughing of the injured, the rustling of rocks in the rubble.

After all this time, all this pain and suffering... Morton Koopa had been defeated once again. Once and for all.

Bowsette collapsed on the ground, unable to further hold herself up. The same was true for most of the people in the room. But they did so with smiles gleaming from their faces. The Grand Unity Army had won its war, and they deserved a real rest.


	100. Chapter 100: Dark Land in Light (& 後書き)

Chapter 100: Dark Land in Light & 後書き

Bowsette and Peach looked out atop one of Castle Koopa's observation towers, examining the destructive damage that Dark Land had faced in the war to destroy Morton Koopa.

It was extensive, but it was nothing that the people of the Koopa Troop could not fix.

No, Bowsette wasn't going to punish the idiots that stuck with Morton through everything. They were wrapped up in something bigger than they could understand. It was okay if they didn't realize the real reasons behind this civil war or if they succumbed to the powerful fear tactics that her father had used to rein in control. She wouldn't honor those who fell for the useless cause, but those who still lived could rejoin Bowsette's Kingdom without any hesitation.

That was the way to build a nation.

"I've never seen the sunrise in Dark Land," Peach said. "It's always, um, dark everytime I come here."

"It's rare and quick," Bowsette said. "Even in the summer we only get a few hours of sun each day. We cherish it while we can."

Peach leaned her head against Bowsette's shoulder and they stood there overlooking Dark Land like this for some time.

Bowsette had finally found a self she was truly comfortable with. All the time she spent fretting and worrying and second-guessing about what made her happy, about what made her strong, about what made her look feminine, and it took her until now to truly accept that it was her own mind holding her back. She had strove to find happiness in accomplishments and goals, when the real key to happiness was finding something to truly care about and latching onto that. And she had plenty to care about. Her family, her friends, her kingdom, they were all good targets.

But of course the real thing she had to care about was herself. Bowsette loved herself. It was as simple as that.

And now that she had this new body, a true hybrid between human and Koopa, she felt like she had truly attained some sort of goal here that she hadn't even been searching for. She had never considered that all of these immense Dread Lord abilities simmering inside of her could give her absolute mastery over her own being, and yet once she finally came to accept herself as a woman, as a person, that was when, suddenly, everything just clicked.

"So... two kids each?" Peach asked.

"Not... yet..." Bowsette said. "Let's... clean up our new kingdom first."

"Our?"

"Well... if you want to rule by my side that is."

"After all of this, Bowsette, you're really just going to go back to being a ruler again like none of this ever happened?"

"Yeah, well..." Bowsette considered this. "I can't be Mario's enemy without being the ruler, right?"

"You'll find a way," Peach said before kissing her on the cheek. "Actually... I don't want to rule over Dark Land. I already abdicated from the Mushroom Kingdom. House Toadstool is reduced to a single castle and a hundred knights. I think I'm done with royalty forever."

"So you don't want to..."

"Well..." Peach took a deep breath like she was going to tell her something that she had been rehearsing for a while. "I love you. I want to be by your side for the rest of my life. I want to be with your children, even if there's eight of them and they've all personally kidnapped me at least once. But... I don't want to settle down yet. I've loved every moment of the adventures we've had together, and it made me realize something- I need to see the rest of the world. Experience life like a common person would. After Mario saved me from our wedding on the moon, I travelled for a few weeks with Tiara, but it was mostly shallow tourism of the most popular places. I want to do more than that. I want to truly travel the world and see what it has to offer me, and more importantly, what I have to offer it."

"And so you won't be around as much for a while?"

"Right. I don't know how long it'll be or where I'll even go, but I just want to do something by myself for a little while. It doesn't mean I love you any less or anything, just..."

"I completely understand," Bowsette said. "If I didn't, then we wouldn't be a good fit for each other, right?"

"You won't be mad at me? You won't be upset if I'm not here while the continent rebuilds itself?"

"If you're happy, that's what matters."

They kissed.

"Bowsette..."

"As soon as you come back, we can start a new family. If you still want. But until then... Do what you feel is right."

"Of course."

Bowsette realized that... maybe ruling over Dark Land wasn't exactly what she wanted to do, either. She would help the rebuilding process, but she wasn't going to take any firm stances on how the rest of her life was going to go just yet. The future was as bright as the sun and she wanted to make the most of it- planning too far ahead would just handicap that.

They left the observation tower and went down to the Throne Room, currently being rebuilt by a regiment of Reznors and Spikes and being expanded to hold an even bigger audience.

Bowsette's entire family was here. The eight Koopalings, Iggy, Larry, Lemmy, Roy, Wendy, Bowser Jr., Ludwig, and Morton Jr. Kammy Koopa, her grandmother. Kamek Koopa, her father, currently in a wheelchair and still recovering from over a year's worth of magical torture. And then there was Boom Boom and Pom Pom, two of his most trusted friends in the world. And of course Peach, her loving wife.

It was a crowded family, for sure, but then again, they had an entire castle to themselves, didn't they? Despite everything that happened that could have divided them- Bowsette's selfish abdication, the in-fighting that broke them apart, the reemergence of Morton Koopa and the final war that devastated their homeland-they still stuck together strongly, the ultimate Royal Family.

No matter what else happened in the world, As long as Bowsette was happy with herself and had a family worth fighting for, she would be unstoppable.

A cameraman Lakitu floated down with a large photography device hanging from his fishing pole. "Are you sure this is the right spot?" he asked.

"Exactly the right spot," Bowsette said. "Make sure to get the construction behind us in full view."

"Okay then. Everyone strike a pose," the Lakitu said. "Say, 'Sleepy Sheep!'

"Sleepy Sheep!" the group said in unison.

Snap.

Yep, this one was going in Bowsette's Best Memories compilation.

 

THE END.

 

(Read my story [ATL: Stories from the Retrofuture](http://atl.quinlancircle.com) sometime)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 後書き
> 
> Thank you so much for reading The Glory of Bowsette! It's been a really fun time the past two weeks as I wrote this story that grew far beyond its original scope. What was supposed to be a humorous one-shot evolved into, well, a full 100,000 word novel, and I'm kind of proud of it for that, warts and all. (Even though Wart wasn't in this.) I am still astounded that this story could have become as popular as it did- in just two weeks, it has reached #26 on the most popular Mario fan fictions on fanfiction.net, and is somewhere around the top 20 for non-explicit Mario fan fictions here on AO3! My appreciation for the support this story has gotten cannot be understated. It's really like... so cool.
> 
> If you enjoyed this story, and being on the last chapter you clearly did (or you skipped ahead in which case... go back and read the rest!), I'd like to recommend my other currently-running serial story. It's an original fiction sci-fi story called ATL: Stories from the Retrofuture, and you can find it on atl.quinlancircle.com. It's about a twentysomething layabout living in the future of the 80s and 90s in the city of Atlanta, given supernatural powers and forced to protect the city against threats that will bring it down. It's got that same mix of comedy and action, worldbuilding and character-driven storytelling as The Glory of Bowsette but obviously with much, much higher quality of writing because I didn't pump the whole thing out in two weeks lol. It doesn't have Mario, but it does have comedic backs-and-forth and over-the-top fight scenes!
> 
> As for the rest of this story, as far as I'm concerned, the story at hand is finished. I may write an epilogue to tie up a couple more loose ends if there is demand for it, but otherwise, the story of Bowsette Toadstool and her path to self-acceptance has been completed.
> 
> I'm really looking forward to the other currently-running Bowsette fan fictions though- on fanfiction.net, there's Bolero and A Game of Princesses that are both very good so far, as well as Bowsette Syndrome on here. All of these stories have very different approaches to the character and if you're hankering for more Bowsette, I recommend them!
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading my story, and I hope to see you again someday on this wild world we call the internet.
> 
> ~Thedude3445


	101. Epilogue 1: Hostel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna post a few epilogue chapters to tie everything in this story together for a more neat conclusion.If you have any suggestions for specific characters/subplots to cover, leave them in the comments!
> 
> Also, to self-promote: I have a new one-shot short story released on my WattPad account, called "On the Ship." It's a sci-fi/romance thing and it's potentially a prototype for a longer story. If you'd like to read and give feedback on it, the link is here: https://www.wattpad.com/story/164711782-on-the-ship

Peach had never been to Diamond City before this month.

Well, she had been here on official capacity, yes, but that was hardly visiting, now was it? Official visits as the royal ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom were hardly even visits to begin with; they were more comparable to a layover at an airport than anything else.

So in effect, Peach loved being able to truly explore somewhere.

It had been several months since the end of the Battle of Dark Land. The world had once more turned to peace, and so Peach used this opportunity to fulfill her dream of seeing the world with fresh eyes: not those of a regal princess with responsibilities and geopolitics, but those of a woman with a full life ahead of her.

Right now she was staying at a hostel, in a cramped bunk bed room with six other coeds, and was doing her laundry, a mix of t-shirts and boxer shorts and long pants for the cold days. The hostel had free washing machines, but it definitely did not have any dryers, and she was having to hang everything up on the clothesline out on the balcony. 

West Side neighborhood in Diamond City was nice. It was quiet at this time of day, other than the constant influx of cars and traffic, but after a few weeks here, you could usually tune out the vehicular noise. The occasional gunshot or two at night was barely enough to wake her at this point.

A young Koopa named Holly, always dressed up in the nicest sundresses and prettiest hats, entered the bunkbed room and began rummaging through her locker. 

Everyone in this hostel was pretty much like Peach: young wanderers trying to explore what they could while they could.

Peach, of course... was already married and had eight step-siblings of her own. So she wasn’t quite as much of a free spirit as she would have liked. But she’d been given her wife’s blessing to go on this journey, and through sixteen different towns and cities, she had done exactly that.

She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to pull it off, as famous as she was and as much as her face was plastered on posters and billboards and TV screens all across the planet all her life. But all it took was a radical haircut--she started with a bob and ended up with a buzz cut-- and some baggy clothing and she wasn’t only unrecognizable as Peach Toadstool, she was constantly being asked if she was a boy, as well.

Peach sort of understood the way Bowsette might have felt when she first discovered what it was like to present herself as a different gender. For everyone to see you, to treat you differently in those subtle ways people probably didn’t even notice about themselves. The more androgynous she had gotten, the more people would ignore her. No more cat calls on the street, no more courtesy door-holding, no more being able to chat up random girls on the street without attracting rude glares. It wasn’t good or bad-- but the fact it was different was pretty interesting.

Peach had toyed with this for a while. When she was in Glitzville she had decided to go by Edward, and it honestly felt like a pretty nice fit while she was in such a rough-and-tumble place. She had to work on keeping her voice from being too shrill, but nobody seemed to mind too much.

In the end, she decided she was going to stick with Peach, and eventually she’d grow her hair back out. She had no problem with her femininity. Girlishness and womanhood basically defined her personhood, after all, and she had made a promise to her wife to become a loving mother once she had returned to her side.

“Hey, have you seen my bonnet?” Holly asked. “I can’t find it anywhere around here...”

“Yeah, it’s in the common room, last I saw,” Peach answered. “You were wearing it when we all had that drinking night last weekend.”

“Whew, man, that was crazy, wasn’t it...” Holly giggled. “Thanks, Edward.”

“You’re welcome.”

But...

But.

Maybe it was something about the spirit of adventure or the intentional isolation, but Peach thought she was going to keep going by Edward for a little bit longer. Even in Diamond City, it was a nice fit.

Ha. She wondered what Bowsette would react like if she saw her like this, dressed up like a guy, calling herself Edward, socializing with a bunch of college-age travellers like just another bro.

She’d probably love her just the same. 

Because it didn’t matter what was on the outside if you truly loved someone. What mattered was the content of their heart, and nobody was ever going to take that away. 

Also, that sounded pretty sappy, didn’t it?

She looked at her clothes up on the clothesline. Almost entirely summer outfits, the kind that men and women could pull off just about as easily as one another during the hotter parts of the year. But as the season was winding down and the temperature was getting chillier, she knew she might have to get a new wardrobe... and she had been seeing so many adorable autumn outfits in downtown Diamond City recently...

That was going to be a problem if she stayed in Diamond City where everyone knew her as the quiet young man Edward.

As Holly started to leave the room, though, Peach stopped her. “Hey, Holly.”

“Yes?”

“What would you do if I... uh, started wearing dresses around the hostel?”

Holly blushed and stammered for a moment before saying, “Well, if that’s what you want to do Edward, I’d probably be a bit uncomfortable for a couple days, but... that’s because I’m not good enough, more than anything. After I got past that I’d try to support you in whatever you want to do. Because... that’s what friends do.”

“Aw, thanks.”

Peach had to hold her laughter in as much as she could before Holly finally closed the door behind her. 

She was so glad to be taking this journey.


	102. Epilogue: The Future of the Continent

#  Epilogue: The Future of the Continent

The next few years would be hardly memorable for the continent, at fortunate and well-deserved turn after all the turmoil of the years prior. 

The Mushroom Kingdom, having broken up fully into a few dozen smaller states, had seen very little conflict between the new neighbors. Shiver Region and the Dry Dry Republic in particular had both prospered as major tourist hubs and energy suppliers, giving their countries new economic boosts that had propelled them to worldwide status. Mushroom World and its federation of eight kings had mutually decided to part ways, each of them ruling as separate entities entirely. It made travelling between each region more difficult, but on the whole, the entire eastern portion of the continent prospered. 

Bowsette, in the end, decided to attempt something similar to Peach’s national breakup, but on a much smaller scale. After Dark Land was rebuilt from the war and chaos it had endured, she drafted the nation’s very first constitution, effectively dividing each region, each vassal state and prefecture within Bowsette’s Kingdom into an autonomous nation of its own. Bowsette relinquished her absolute rule, conferring to a new council made up of each of the individual rulers of each territory within Dark Land who made most all decisions in the region. Boom Boom, in his immense popularity, was elected the council’s first Prime Minister, and with his leadership the council had improved life in Dark Land immensely over the course of its first few years.

Peach roamed the Earth, just as she said, mostly cutting off contact with anyone she had previously associated with in order to find herself in an independent life. To better blend in as an unassuming commoner, she cut her hair short and wore nothing but the outdoorsy clothes she had taken with her to prepare to hike across the continent. The two weren’t in constant contact, but Peach and Bowsette traded letters and other items when they could.

Just this week Bowsette got another postcard from her wife, and attached was a photo where Peach was posing with many friends she had met recently; she was staying somewhere in the southern Chai Kingdom in Sarasaland, near Bowsette’s vacation castle in Hanafuda. It was a beautiful place and Bowsette was really glad to see Peach as happy as she looked. She also sported a very nice short haircut. It looked so fitting on her that Bowsette kind of hoped she would keep it for good.

Bowsette thought about heading over there to see if they could meet up, but... she was satisfied with Peach’s monthly postcards. Knowing her wife was happy was good enough for now.

The Koopalings had fallen back into their squabbling ways, but that was only natural for a bunch of young brats like themselves. Iggy, now done with his stint as the Conqueror, had shifted to being the bossy “leader” of the Koopalings, undermining Morton Jr. and Ludwig’s attempts to do the same. Wendy had cozied up to her mother in an attempt to curry her favor, but it was more annoying than endearing. She still had no idea which of the Koopalings would eventually become her chosen successor for the throne, even if it had very little power left in it other than a symbolic role, but she was glad that they weren’t trying to kill each other over it anymore. 

On the brighter side, Morton Jr. had been spending a lot more time with a female Koopa he had met at Koopa University this semester. He was softening up considerably, and Bowsette really liked the girl; she was very nice. If Bowsette got a grandchild this soon, she would be utterly ecstatic. As big as their family currently was, she wanted it to get even bigger.

All of the people Morton Koopa had turned to stone had slowly been coming back to life now that Morton’s very existence had been eradicated. Even those turned to stone during his original rule over Dark Land had been coming back, some of them hundreds of years old and completely unaware of the changes that had occurred since they had been frozen. Bowsette was waiting for the day when one of her older siblings emerged from deep underground and made some flimsy claim for the throne, but it still hadn’t happened. Considering that most of her siblings had been used in Morton’s horrid Dread Lord experiments, she wasn’t sure if that would ever really happen after all...

The continent was truly at peace for the first time in probably eons. There were no more wars or skirmishes--Bowsette still hadn’t done anything to antagonize Mario since he got back from Saturn after a year-long adventure--and the world seemed like it was on the verge of entering a new age altogether. One where species and ethnicity was important, but never a stepping stone to prejudice and sectarian violence. One where the kings and queens of countries wouldn't send their citizens to die in pointless conflict. One where a Koopa King could become a Koopa Queen and still embrace all the power that came with that. 

It wouldn’t last. Nothing like this ever did, of course. But for now, this was the perfect time to be alive, and Bowsette enjoyed every moment of it.


	103. Epilogue: Koopaling Scuffle

#  Epilogue: The Lives of the Generals

Iggy Koopa lunged at Ludwig and punched him in the face. The two scrapped, throwing fists at each other and pushing each other aside, but no dirty tricks were used. This was a fair fight.

Ludwig pinned Iggy to the ground and laughed. “Kakaka, what’re you gonna do now?”

“This!” Iggy shouted. With the full weight of his growing muscles he pushed Ludwig off of him and then kicked him in the stomach. As he stumbled backwards, Iggy headbutted him in the face and knocked him to the ground.

The other Koopalings broke out into a cheer, except for Morton Jr’s wife Holly, who only politely clapped for some reason. She still hadn’t been fully inducted into the clan, probably. 

“With this victory, I take control of the Koopalings as its ultimate leader,” Iggy said. “I am no longer a Koopaling. I am a Royal Koopa! I have come of age!”

The cheering stopped and was replaced by groans and moans.

Even the youngest of the bunch, Bowser Jr., shook his head. “Dude, you don’t get to decide that stuff yourself,” he said. “Only Mama Bowsette gets to say who’s come of age.”

“She still hasn’t even told ME I’m a Royal Koopa,” whined Morton Jr.

“Well, when I unveil her my new Magnetic Propulsion Castle design, she’s going to promote me for sure!” Iggy proclaimed. “We can have a whole airship fleet and floating castle deployed and launched to a new country in just two hours! We’ll be invincible!”

“Did you Mario-proof it yet?” Wendy asked. “She ain’t accepting any new designs that ain’t been Mario-proofed.”

“Well... I‘m still working on it...”

Iggy had been one of the heroes of the war, one of the Seven Generals of the Grand Unity Army. But he knew he still had a long way to go before he could become a true Royal Koopa and take his rightful place as the leader of a Dark Land domain. But he was going to keep trying for sure, because now that he had tasted what power and leadership were really like, he needed to get the full experience. It was in his very blood.


	104. Epilogue - The Good Doctor

“I’ve ironed out the defects, absolutely,” Dr. Crygor said as he chatted with Gomboss Jr. on the phone. “Yes, of course I can give you a sample unit. But you’ve got to act fast if you want a full order. My next batch is going to sell out by the end of the week.”

Yes, so maybe Dr. Crygor’s machines and robots lifted from Smithy Gang’s extra-dimensional factories had not been fully tested in combat, and maybe they had resulted in the death of one of the Grand Unity Army’s Generals and hadn’t accomplished much beyond the first wave of the attack. It didn’t matter though, because that was all a practice run, a demo to show off Crygor’s new research & development division, staffed solely by himself and his grandchild (but buyers didn’t need to know about that just now). The version two models for all these robots had gone much more smoothly in production; Crygor had even recreated the famous Axem Rangers that had been destroyed by Mario and his allies all those years ago!

Naturally, every country was investing in his product. And now that there were many dozen more countries than there were just a few years earlier, that meant business was absolutely booming.

Crygor stepped aside and allowed his robot Mike to take over for the rest of the phone calls of the day. He was very good at customer service, as robots were able to listen to angry rants without feeling any emotional connection because that was their nature, rather than having to be psychologically desensitized to it like poor organic beings.

He entered the break room to grab a Koopa Tea from his own vending machine, and noticed his grandchild reading a book with two shirtless men on the cover standing back to back and holding hands. Inspired by Bowsette’s grandstand against her biological father and growing reputation as a heroic legend, Penny had told Crygor to start calling them by the name Penn, and was wearing more loose clothing as they tried to figure out their own feelings on their identity. Crygor was glad that they were working this out, even if it likely hurt their dreams of becoming a pop star one day. 

But Penn had a new dream, it seemed-- to use technology to create the ultimate combat suit, and to become a famous martial artist using the machinery. Crygor thought his own dream of making a lot of money and inventing new things was fine, and a path that his grandchild would be well-suited for. But he believed in his grandchild as much as he could.

Aside from Penn, though, Crygor’s life was on the up and up in almost every respect. After over a hundred years of life, he had finally begun to have a real success.

He ventured out into the test factory, where prototype models of his robot soldiers were being built.

It was glorious...

The voice inside his head gave a hearty laugh. “You’re doing excellently. You’re doing exactly what I wish.”

“Of course,” Dr. Crygor said aloud. “The Smithy Gang must rise again, and this is the way to achieve that.”

“Together, we’re accomplishing the impossible,” the voice said.

“Yes. Just you and me. Rather... just me and me.”

Dr. Crygor laughed.


	105. Epilogue: Sunbathing

# Epilogue: Sunbathing

Boom Boom and Pom Pom laid out on their sunbathing benches and basked in the sun for the two hours it would be out today before it sunk below the clouds of volcanic ash and nightfall came upon them.

“Boom Boom wonders something...”

“Yeah, honey?” Pom Pom asked.

“What if Boom Boom had never told Bowsette about that fake invasion everyone was planning for her? What if Boom Boom had let her keep being the miserable King koopa that she was?”

“Then the world would be a much unhappier place,” Pom Pom said. “You’re not going to start blaming yourself for all the bad stuff that happened because of Bowser becoming Bowsette, right? Because... that’s a total lame-o move.”

“You’re right,” Boom Boom said. “Boom Boom was totally going to start doing that.” He laughed softly.

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, because you’re doing a great job as Prime Minister. Everybody loves you. You could probably call yourself King and everyone’d just accept it. I’d accept it for sure.”

“Boom Boom knows you’re only saying that because you want to call yourself Queen.”

“You’re not wrong,” she said with a laugh.

Still... Even if Boom Boom wasn’t King in title, he was effectively the ruler of all of Dark Land. He... really liked having that power.

This was the life.

Though... he would later learn that he had forgot to put on sunscreen and his body, head to shell, was covered in sunburns.

 

A/N: Don't forget to check out my new story [ATL: Stories from the Retrofuture](http://atl.quinlancircle.com) when you get the chance!


	106. Epilogue - Down the Warp Pipe

Epilogue: Down the Warp Pipe

 

Goombella hopped up on a warp pipe and furrowed her brows. “Okay, you two!” she shouted. “This is the entrance to the Minus Zone. It’s a realm adjacent to Subcon whose properties are unknown, unstudied, and uncharted. We will be some of the first people to ever enter this place, and whatever happens, we’re going to be at an incredible risk. Are you still up for it?”

“Ehhh...” Luigi was starting to shiver at the thought of incredible danger with no expectations as to what might lie before them.

“Of course we are!” King/Princess Boo(ette) said. Right now he was in King boo form, but he had decided that he was going to remain as Booette for the majority of their excursion into the Minus Zone; Luigi preferred that form and he enjoyed making him happy, even if all it usually took was a heinous chuckle to scare him into complete paralysis.

He chuckled, “Yuck yuck yuck yuck!” And just like that Luigi jumped. It really was that easy.

“Well, once we enter, there’s no going back until we’ve mapped out the whole place. So... any last hesitations? Anyone forgot a change of overalls?”

“N..no, we’re fine...” Luigi said.

“Then let’s go!”

At this, King Boo put on the Super Crown and became Booette. She stuck out her over-long tongue and licked Luigi across the face, which once again made him jump, and then hopped into the warp pipe.


	107. Epilogue: The People at Peace

Toadsworth looked out his jail cell, hoping desperately to catch a glimpse of the light. He did not. 

He had been in this cell for... years, some amount of years. He had mostly lost track of a sense of time, being trapped in here with no ability to speak to the outside world or even learn what was going on.

Such was the life of someone who had plotted a coup against the government. 

The former Chancellor sat in the cell across from him. He was adamant about his innocence at first, but by this point he no longer spoke. He wandered through this tiny life like a ghost waiting to form. Toadsworth was close to doing the same.

A guard came up and handed him his second meal for the day. It was lukewarm Toad Soup, as it was five days out of the week. The only way Toadsworth could mark the weekends was when the food quality noticeably decreased because the cooks had left. It was almost always a Bland Meal for breakfast and a Mistake for dinner, on those days.

“Hey, did you hear the news?” the guard asked.

“What?”

The guard burst into laughter. “No, you didn’t!”

That was typical, too.

Toadsworth did wonder what was going to happen to the Mushroom Kingdom in the future. surely the feckless Princess Peach would be overthrown by the people soon enough. When that happened, surely he and the others would be freed from their illegal captivity. But it still hadn’t happened yet.

In fact, it seemed that they had caught Game Guy, or at least shut down his “legitimate business ventures.” A few months ago there was an influx of Shy Guy inmates entering this floor, and while none of them had talked, they were very often summoned upstairs for... erm, questioning.

Toadsworth never got questioned anymore. He almost missed it.

He held out hope. Hope that the great Toads that joined him and the Chancellor would rise up again against their disgusting Koopa-loving oppressor.s Hope that one day he would be able to see his granddaughters’ graduation and embrace them in his arms.

That would never happen.

Just a few weeks later, the government of Shroom City extradited him on charges of conspiracy to commit treason, and sentenced him to a life in permanent exile on Cold, Cold Mountain. Just like he had proposed about Bowser all those years ago.

It was indeed cold, cold.

Toadsworth looked out his jail cell, hoping desperately to catch a glimpse of the light. He did not. 

He had been in this cell for... years, some amount of years. He had mostly lost track of a sense of time, being trapped in here with no ability to speak to the outside world or even learn what was going on.

Such was the life of someone who had plotted a coup against the government. 

The former Chancellor sat in the cell across from him. He was adamant about his innocence at first, but by this point he no longer spoke. He wandered through this tiny life like a ghost waiting to form. Toadsworth was close to doing the same.

A guard came up and handed him his second meal for the day. It was lukewarm Toad Soup, as it was five days out of the week. The only way Toadsworth could mark the weekends was when the food quality noticeably decreased because the cooks had left. It was almost always a Bland Meal for breakfast and a Mistake for dinner, on those days.

“Hey, did you hear the news?” the guard asked.

“What?”

The guard burst into laughter. “No, you didn’t!”

That was typical, too.

Toadsworth did wonder what was going to happen to the Mushroom Kingdom in the future. surely the feckless Princess Peach would be overthrown by the people soon enough. When that happened, surely he and the others would be freed from their illegal captivity. But it still hadn’t happened yet.

In fact, it seemed that they had caught Game Guy, or at least shut down his “legitimate business ventures.” A few months ago there was an influx of Shy Guy inmates entering this floor, and while none of them had talked, they were very often summoned upstairs for... erm, questioning.

Toadsworth never got questioned anymore. He almost missed it.

He held out hope. Hope that the great Toads that joined him and the Chancellor would rise up again against their disgusting Koopa-loving oppressor.s Hope that one day he would be able to see his granddaughters’ graduation and embrace them in his arms.

That would never happen.

Just a few weeks later, the government of Shroom City extradited him on charges of conspiracy to commit treason, and sentenced him to a life in permanent exile on Cold, Cold Mountain. Just like he had proposed about Bowser all those years ago.

It was indeed cold, cold.


	108. Epilogue: Love

“Bowsette!”

“Peach!”

They kissed.

They did a lot more than kiss.

The two were finally reunited.

And that was all that needed to be said.


	109. Epilogue: Bag It and Grab It

Nabbit was excited to get the mail. Loved getting the mail. Parakarry always delivered it right now. This moment. Ten fifteen in the morning. Never late. Except when he had a special delivery elsewhere. Or when he had a special delivery here. It really depended. Other than that he was never late.

Today he definitely wouldn’t be late. There was a very special delivery coming. He knew it. Yep. There was Parakarry. Hey guy. What’s up? How’s it hanging? Got anything for Nabbit?

“Hey guy. How’s it hanging? Got anything for me?”

“Yes, I do!” Parakarry shouted with glee. Not too much glee. Not too much non-glee. The perfect, professional amount of glee. He handed a letter to Nabbit. Pretty small. Not a large envelope like he hoped. That was okay. He didn’t need anything else. Envelopes were fine. Cool, in fact. But they weren’t the best ever. Nabbit was content with a letter. Definitely.

Parakarry flew off. Nabbit had already opened the letter and begun reading. He read as fast as he ran. Not true. Nabbit was a pretty good reader though.

“Come meet me,” the letter read. “You know where. You know when. We’re beginning our master plan immediately!”

“Oh boy!” Nabbit shouted. Without a second thought to his wife and kids, he dashed off in pursuit of his destination. That was all he ever did in his life. his family would be fine too. They liked nabbing, grabbing, bagging. Not bragging, but his family was pretty good stuff too. They all were.

That’s why Nabbit was summoned. He was the best at what he did. And what he did was pretty nice.


	110. Epilogue - A Scientist Amok

Mad Scienstein had escaped with barely a glance in his direction. Dark Land had become incredibly hostile to his presence, and yet he was able to simply walk out in the midst of the chaos and war around him.

Morton Koopa's resurrection was a scientific failure, that was for sure. When he and Kamek had decided to revive him, they thought it would be a temporary measure to gain peace and control. But once Morton's powers began to emerge once again, Mad Scienstein realized just what a discovery they had found- in that resurrecting the bones of the undead were simply not an effective way of controlling them. You'd think so! But... it looks like reanimated husks retained too much of their personality.

No, Scienstein had a new experiment in mind.

A scarred, beaten young man sitting on an operating table before him was the subject of such an experiment. He was a living cloud, made from the magical energies of the wind having taken permanent physical form. And he was the perfect recruit.

"All I want to do is kill that monster," King Mallow of Nimbus Land said. At this point, Nimbus Land had completely fallen to ruin. With its sole remaining ruler secluding himself from society and not even returning to his home for over two years now, most of its citizens had emigrated, finding a new home with Lord Huff'N'Puff or adopting the urban lifestyle in Shroom City. Those few who remained had taken over and formed their own agrarian-based society, harvesting the rain from clouds to fuel their subsistence farms. It was admirable, really, what those people were doing.

But Mad Scienstein wasn't one to play on morals. He was a man of science and magic. Using Mallow was simply a means to an end, and that end was research. After Dr. Crygor had so gallantly rushed his new robot armies into production, Scienstein had to keep up with innovations of his own, or else he would lose out completely.

"This experiment, if it succeeds, will make you more than powerful enough to destroy Bowsette," he said. "This is exactly the experiment I was going to use on her had I captured her rather than Morton. In a better world..."

"There is no better world," Mallow said, grimacing and letting his scars light up with electricity. "There is only the doom and gloom of this wretched planet Earth."

"Heh. Well, it seems that you are ready to commence," Scienstein said.

"Only if this makes me into a better warrior," he said.

"If my calculations are right, you will be no warrior," he said. "You'll be a God."

Mad Scienstein flipped the switch, and the machine activated.


	111. Epilogue - Club 64

Lakilulu floated back over to her wife carrying two Tasty Tonics, one for her, and another also for her. Koopie Koo couldn't drink on account of her pregnancy, of course. So Lakilulu was taking upon her the heavy burden of drinking for two.

She set the drinks on the table and Koopie Koo shook her head in feigned disapproval. "You're really making me jealous..."

"It's a celebration! You have to drink," said Lakilulu. "We won."

"I don't know if this counts as 'winning,' Lulu..."

The bartender stepped out from behind the bar and up to the projector screen. "Okay, hello everyone," he said. "Welcome to Club 64. Everyone knows why we're here today, and that's to celebrate the anniversary of the end of the war. But more importantly... We've finally found the rough cut of Zip Toad's last movie!"

The entire bar went into a cheer, especially Koopie Koo, whose interest in obscure movies was unparalleled.

"This movie was shot several years ago, during the midst of the Mushroom Kingdom Coup, but it was thought to have been destroyed after Zip Toad abandoned the project and fled to Down Under Land. But thanks to some very helpful, very anonymous sources-" the bartender winked in the direction of the Master Poet-"we've finally obtained a copy. One scene was shot in this bar, and everyone will get a free round on the house once we get to that point in the film. Are you all ready for...  _Toad of a Nation_?"

Another cheer.

The bartender flipped on the projector and the movie started to play, the very first scene showing a nearly-naked Zip Toad making out with a lady Toad that he was also undressing.

The movie was absolutely terrible, one of the worst things anyone in the bar had ever seen, an utterly-baffling propaganda project that had no self-awareness and at least fifteen scenes where Zip Toad took his shirt off.

It was also one of the funniest movies of all time. An instant classic.

And in everything of the violence against the Koopas in the former Mushroom Kingdom, the uproar between species that escalated into what was nearly a full-fledged civil war, and the embers of tension that still burned between them to this day...  _Toad of a Nation_  was probably the best healing that Toad Town had ever gotten.


	112. Epilogue: The Koopas and the Toadstools

"It's still hard to forgive her for everything she did," Bowsette said. "She left me literally to go 'find herself.' But really, she had left me much earlier emotionally. I should never have let her go."

"But then you'd have never found me."

"That's true, I know. I'm just... overthinking things as usual, huh?"

"You wouldn't be Bowsette if you didn't."

Peach and Bowsette kissed, and then kissed again. And then they would have kept going from there, but they were in the middle of the Bananan Ruins and twelve of her family were among them. The Koopas and the Toadstools united as one.

"Y'know, I kinda went out and 'found myself' too, back after the war ended," Peach said. "Does that make me as bad as Clawdia?"

"I'd say that it's not a good comparison when you didn't have a bunch of small children waiting on you to return. My kids are all about grown up. Well... they were."

Peach laughed. "They definitely WERE."

By saying "the Koopas and Toadstools united as one," that wasn't just talking about the wife and wife and the eight Koopalings. That was including the hatchling Fallon, who scurried around the others with her head still partially stuck in her shell, as well as Geddy, the infant that Wendy was currently carrying on her back. Morton Jr.'s wife Holly was there too along with their own child, Morton III. That wasn't including, however, the other child currently inside of Peach.

She knew what she said when she wanted her family to get even bigger, but this was a bit crazy.

Bowsette had finally found out what enduring motherhood was like, after so many decades of ignoring the actual process of it because it icked her out. It had good reason to ick her out, of course. It had been a very tough three months of gestation with massive hormonal changes and a literal living thing growing inside of her, but then when she gave birth... man, she really didn't want to go into detail about that. It was something straight out of a T. Lovecraft novel. She had absolutely no idea how Peach had gone through her first pregnancy for a whole nine months! If it weren't for that deal they made to have two kids each, she would be absolutely done with this whole child-rearing business. No more, never. 

Though... she loved her children so, so much.

At this moment, Clawdia Koopa jumped to the ground, readying herself in an attack pose for just one moment before she realized what people were here to see her.

"Oh my Brighton..." She teared up almost immediately before running up to her kids and trying to give them a hug. For the most part, they rebuffed; only Lemmy, who was always a strange one, accepted the hug in full and returned it.

When she realized that her own six children had spurned her, she fully broke out in sobs, but... surely she knew this was coming. It was going to take some time before they could really adjust to living with the mother that had abandoned them so many years ago.

"It's... nice to see all of you again," she said. "Wendy... you have a... You're a mother already?"

Wendy scoffed. "No way," she said. "I ain't a lover; I'm a fighter."

"Oh, I'm, um-"

"That's mine, sorry," Peach said. "Wendy's a good caretaker, though. You... have some very nice children."

Peach had lived abroad for over two years, travelling the world and seeing the sights she had never been able to encounter in her time as a famous royal, and then she had settled back into a life with her wife just like she promised. It was still a growing experience, learning to live with a family of eight children that were mostly fully-matured as well as raising two young children of her own DNA.

"And Iggy, you... changed your hair."

"Green's in this season," he said. He said this with way too proud of a smile.

Bowsette, on the other hand, was noticing the immense family resemblance between Clawdia and her children with this woman. In fact, Ludwig was extremely similar to his other mother. They were almost one in the same, to a nearly disconcerting degree.

"I want to do something," Ludwig said, almost on-cue.

"Y-yes?"

"I want to duel you," he said. "I want to see how far I've come."

"Keh keh keh keh. You really think you're ready for that?"

"I know I am. Because I'm going to prove myself as a Royal Koopa for sure!"

Ludwig jumped at his mother and attacked her, but was fended off as she shot out the spikes from her shell.

As expected, there was a battle within minutes of their meeting Clawdia. This was almost sure to be the bulk of their vacation here in the Bananan Ruins. and both Peach and Bowsette were fine with this. They were fulfilling their promise to her, and if this meant that the Koopalings would finally stop squabbling and team up against this woman, then that would be a positive enough outcome.

It had been a few years since Morton Koopa had finally been destroyed, and yet there still hadn't been any sort of major war or conflict break out. Even Mario himself had been a bit low on adventuring lately. Sometime soon it was going to be boring, but for now, as long as Peach and Bowsette could raise their children without fear of harm or the inevitability of kidnapping by an assortment of villains, then that was a good price to pay.

The other Koopalings joined in in the duel against Clawdia, and the fight turned into madness with shells spinning and bouncing and spikes shooting everywhere.

The fact that this was the most exciting thing to happen to the Toadstool and Koopa families in years was a really good sign of things to come.

Bowsette and Peach kissed again for good measure.


	113. Epilogue: 終章

The island was stocked up with weapons and supplies and most importantly explosives.

An entire army of Piranha Plants, most of them imported after the destruction of Petey Piranha, filled the grasslands.

And inside the same makeshift castle he always made his stay in, was none other than the great Waluigi himself.

Nabbit dashed into the castle and bowed before Waluigi. "I'm here, what's up, what's happening, do you have anything for me?"

Waluigi eyed the rabbit and then focused his gaze forwards, away from him. "Report. Is the world still at peace?"

"Yep. Nothing bad happening. Not much conflict. Well, World 4 and World 6 are in a trade war. Not a real war. Just tariffs and stuff. Hurting their economies though. we can't do much about that. Sad."

"Waaahahahahaaaaa... Good..." Waluigi clasped his fingers together. "It will finally be time to make my mark on the planet Earth, then."

"Yeah, definitely," Nabbit said. "I'm rooting for you. I've been rooting for you. I really believe in you. Pretty obvious when you think about it."

Waluigi ignored him. "It is almost time for my secret operation to commence. Codename: Purple Strike! Waaaaaaaahaaaaaaaah!"

"Waaaahaah, yeah. Pretty cool stuff. Really excited. When are we starting it? Is the purple named after you or me? Since we're both purple."

Once again, Waluigi didn't reply. He knew how to avoid getting trapped in Nabbit conversations. The last thing he wanted to do was get in a three-hour back-and-forth that went nowhere.

The answer to that question of when, though? Waluigi knew it well. It was tomorrow. He was no longer holding back. The world would be his.

"WAAAHHAAAHHHAAHHAHAHAHAHA! WAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA!"

 

 

* * *

 

 

**A/N: And THERE you have it, the end of the epilogue chapters for The Glory of Bowsette. Compared to the two weeks it took to write and post the main story, the epilogue chapters have come at a bit of an excruciatingly slow rate, but I'm hoping that any fans of the story can now rest satisfied that the story has drawn to a firm and conclusive end.**

**...What's that you say? The chapter right above me is saying the exact opposite? Well, that dastardly Waluigi does seem to get into the way of people's plans sometimes.**

**I can say definitively though that there is no Glory of Bowsette sequel planned at this time; right now, I'm actively publishing[ATL: Stories from the Retrofuture](http://atl.quinlancircle.com/) (which, as I have mentioned before, if you liked Bowsette's silly action-packed fun, ATL is definitely up your alley), and I'm about to start work on another novel fairly soon. Along with finally having a full-time job in Japan, this means the prospect of more Bowsette is pretty unlikely in the near future. I've thought about sending a call out for a co-writer who might want to forge ahead with me on the future of the Mushroom World, but I'm not sure if there is much of anyone who would be interested in co-writing a follow-up story in the first place.**

**So, at least for the moment, the end you get here is the end for good. We can rest easy knowing that Bowsette, Peach, and most family and friends are safe and sound and are unaware of the fact that Waluigi is apparently about to do some nefarious evil stuff to ruin all their lives.**

**And that's probably a good ending to leave off on.**

**(If you ARE interested in potentially co-authoring 2 Glory 2 Bowsette someday feel free to send a message over, but I probably won't do it)**


End file.
